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Haruharu Mar 2018
I wish I could fast forward time.

To where I wake up with the love of my life.

Nagging about who's time it is to check on the kids.

Making breakfast while dancing in the kitchen.

Running late to school cause one of our kids threw a tantrum.

Picking up pizza on a Tuesday, happy to see their excited faces.

Waiting for my man to come home, to hear about his day.

The quiet and peaceful air when our kids are asleep.

Then we can fall asleep in each others arms filled with love.

I'll have a smile on my face, knowing that I have the life I've always wanted.
Haruharu Mar 2018
Shaking on the bathroom floor.

Mascara running down my cheeks.

The smell of alcohol on my breath.

Cold sweat.

I can't move.

Paralyzed.

I am one with my anxiety.

Same words echoing in my head.

"He's back".
Haruharu Mar 2018
Death's arms trying to pull me in,
A sweet whisper of a better life.

An encouraging push,
come join us.

Oh, how I long to.
On the verge of leaving it all behind.

Do I dare to let go?
Haruharu Mar 2018
The song I used to know as ours is playing in the background.

The sun cast shadows on the floor.

In them I see our memories dancing.

Full of life and love.

I look at us and smile.

The sun disappear and so do we.

In the heartache I find comfort that we're still out there.

Still dancing happily, to the world we just can't be seen.
Haruharu Mar 2018
The first spring sun.

A sign of a new beginning.

The earth, cleansed from last year.

New hopes and dreams that follows by seeing the ground clear.

The excitement of creating new memories hearing the birds once again.

Finding new songs I know I'll dance to all summer.

Imagining the smell of a fresh tan, from a day in the sun.

The feeling of being alive, cleansed from last year.
Haruharu Feb 2018
Oh god how I wish it was you.

But my heart hurts, it's so tired.

Too stubborn to realize it's time to let it go.

To realize it was all lies and manipulation.

Too blind to accept that it was mind games.

The pain of the truth is too much.

So I still choose to live in a lie
Haruharu Feb 2018
We need each other.

The mess and I.

We're like magnets.

In the moments of silence, one of us calls.

The calm and peace kills us both.

Without chaos we wouldn't exist.

I no longer know who created who.

But I do know,

we're like yin and yang, the mess and I.
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