I sat behind the bars made out of iron
A small room with no ventilation
They covered my vision
So I will be blind for a reason

I’m stuck in a jail with one cell
At the bottom of her heart
Where it simulates hell
And they will cut me apart

I was brainwashed by the leader
And forced me to love her
She used her beauty and body
To hypnotize me
So I serve her while I’m hungry and thirsty

I am the Prisoner Of Her Love
A place where no light glows
The place I will be stuck there forever
The place for my funeral
Stuck in that one special room
The place where I live until doom

I finally opened my eyelids wide
I finally see the world clearly with my own eyes
At last I perceived
That this planet earth
Still have a millions of angels
Traveling around the world

They are all imperfect
But they all have their own talents
Some of them really catches my attention
But they failed to triggers my adrenaline
Dopamine, vasopressin and my oxytocin

Because It Didn't Feel Right

I don't think I can fall in love again
I did everything I can
To get you out of my brain

Because you are my miracle
The chosen angel
Among  the others
That spreaded through all the planet

Take my hand
And never let go
I will take you to the clouds
Where you can yell really loud
Without hearing any judge from your friends

Put your arms around my body
And hold it firmly
Then I will take you to the outer space
Where we could be ourselves
And live happily forever

Kiss my lips
Then I will **** out your negative feelings
I may cannot solve all your problems
But I promise
I will not let you struggle
By single handed

Tell me your new destination
And I will set it as my new mission
I'm doing this for only one reason
I want to share you my Affection

Why would she wants to be a pilot
When she is already an angel?

Why would she wants to be inside the cockpit
When she can just spread her wings?

Why would she have to struggle asking permission from the radio tower
When she can fly by her own desire?

Why would bothered about fuel consumptions
When she have a gigantic amount of power?

Why would she thinks about the ground speed
When she can fly with her wings in a high velocity?

Why would she thinks about the minutes
When she can travel with just one click?

Why would she thinks of a distance
When she can just do teleportation?

Why would she afraid of an engine failure
When she have the strength of lifting earth?

What kind of heavenly creature
That have something she concerned?

I digged the ground with a shovel
The length is 2 meters
With 1 meter width
And 6 feet deep

I put down my deceased dreams
Inside the grave
I finally swallowed the harsh fact and the painful faith
After I broke down in tears

My dreams were
To live with you
My dreams were
To put my lips against yours
My dreams were
Putting a ring around your ring fingers
And my dreams were
To love you forever

But unfortunately, my dreams now are just memories

My heart were covered in fear
To see the future
That stands in front of my eyes

My vision is clear
To face a possible failure
But I have to try

Or maybe
A chance of winning
I don't know the result will be
But I'm scared, that is my feelings

I made a cross on my body
And I shut my eyes closed
I praised the Lord
And I told him what I want and what I need

I mentioned your name and your lover's
In my everyday's prayers
With a hesitate
But tried hard to accept my faith

It's hard for me to pray
So your relationship is getting better
I could feel a scratch on my heart's surface
My tongue tasted so bitter
My lungs can't catch some oxygen
And my brain faces tremendous malfunction

But even thou my prayers drove me wild
I still can pray with a big smile
I hope both of your bondings will never be broken
I prayed for the best of both of you, the lovely diamonds

Dear mother
And father
Now I know how cold this world
After you released me in the airport

My responsibility is not that much
But the pressure I hold
Sometimes It’s too much
For me to hold it by my own

You helped me
By financially
Caring
Loving
Teaching
Screaming at me
Feed me
And raised me

I was too proud to say that
I Cried In My Sleep
You may think I have a strong heart
But my eyes cannot hold the tears

Was it your beauty
That distracts me?
Was it your body
That makes my focus blurry?
Was it your smile
That sets my heart on fire?
Was it your eyes
That makes me can’t see because it’s too bright?
Was it the way your singing
That makes me can’t hear the radio coming?
Was it your brain
That caused my heart to beats faster like bullet train?
Or maybe your just overwhelming
That inspired my dreams and caused me overthinking

Whatever the reason is
You made me crashed my aircraft
Really **** hard
That nearly caused a fatal injury

Clear mind starts to fade
And kind heart filled with hate
A mind full of blades
And putting people into their graves

Clean brain consumpts darkness
And the eyes become blind
He only seek for vengeance
And drink the blood from the ones he dislike

The evil mind controlled his hands
The anger controlled his legs
He will put your life to an end
And let your soul perish in hell

Stop bullying
And stop putting scars in their heart
When they starts hurting
Don't even ask why they did that

Don’t know where should I go
And I don’t think I cared anymore
Wide opened sectional
With a standby plotter
A flight computer
And a pencil

But no line was drawn
My plotter became useless
I let my Cessna flew by his own
And he followed where the wind blew

I noticed
The wind pushed me to that same airport
The same runway I tried to avoid
It's like faith
The further I go
The stronger the wind blows
Or it's just my crazy theory
Or maybe my mind plays tricks on me

I’m lost in the nowhere’s skies
And I still found her
No matter how far I fly
The wind leads me to her

He fly above the same airport
Waiting for a chance to land on the runway
The runway of her heart
Nobody knows how long he waited but the Lord
That airport have only one parking spot and  one runway
And occupied by one aircraft

It's hopeless
To wait for that parked aircraft to take off and gone forever
He began to feel desperate
All his patience, all of his waiting, gave him a mental break

He opens his sectional
Pull out his plotter
Change his heading bug in his heading indicator
He finally said, with a smile
“It’s time to divert”

Waste of fuel and time
Waste of credits and dimes
Too long he was holding
Now it’s time for leaving

He will never know
How does the runway and the taxi light glows
After sunset and before sunrise
He will never feel
The satisfaction for using the service
24 hours everyday and night
He will never see
The runway decorated by green grass, flowers and trees
The beauty of the airport’s sight

But it’s for the best

Obsession
Depression
And his wildest imagination

Slowly making him a horrible creature
A monster
A heartless killer
Or a deranged animal

He lost control of himself
His mind have gone somewhere
The jealousy got him possessed
His common sense was dead

Why does he became crazy and selfish
To hunt her lips?
Is the reason to gain joy of eternal life
Or to fulfill his lust desires?

Uncontrolled hate
The lost of faith
His hunger over love
And his thirst from the one he adore

Nothing can stop him
Until his goals is fulfilled,
The death angel cut his throat open
Or find a new prey
That one day will brighten his day

Part of ‘The Shallow Minded Boy’

She puts her focus on her studies
Her family
and her lover
But little do she knew
That her relationship with her boyfriend maybe in danger

That person is waiting since long times
That person never realize
This is his the 3rd year he spends
Waiting for their relationship comes to an end

A shallow minded boy sat down on the balcony
With his heart filled with tons of melancholy
He lights up his cigars
And let the smoke melt his cold heart
His head has been occupied by that one person
A girl. That slowly grows into a woman
The wonderful human being
The rare celestial being
The angel without wings
So prepossessing
The way she sings
Is the only way to calms his feelings

He never thought of letting her go
Because she is the only one. He thought so
Little do he know
There are still millions of stars in the galaxy
There are still millions of fish in the sea
But he can’t think of that. His mind were too shallow

3 Year’s he carried the same affection
To that same person
The same beautiful name
That if someone mentions her name, he could go insane

The shallow minded boy have been wasting his times
Those precious seconds flies
To focus only on his depression
With no action taken

2nd part of “I Walked To The Moon”

I Walked To The Moon. Now here I am on earth
With anxiety haunted my sleep
Desperately wanted to touch her
Missing the pull of her gravity
And live inside her forever

I remembered her spoiled voice
That I cannot resist
Asking me to stay longer
Until her sorrows are over
I hate to be separated from her
My moon that shines bright
In my everyday night

I stood up on my backyard before I sleep
I saw my moon standing in the sky toughly
She gleams brighter than before, as if she was looking for me
So I waved at her trying to grab her attention
But I’m just a human being, hardly she notice. Again my heart was broken
I missed her
I love her
I need her
I want her

For how many times I thought
I could let her go?
How many billions of seconds I swallowed
To just lay in my bed, waiting for her to fill the hole
Very deeply inside me
So I can feel complete?
How much cigarettes did I burnt
Until my lungs hurt
For just putting my focus on that girl?
How much poems should I write
With all the creativity and the rhymes
So she noticed that already a thousand times
I already cried
From the inside?
How many romantic songs I listened
When I faced a tremendous depression
After she touched my minuscule heart
And left me apart?
How come I still adore her
After all the tortures
That she did already
By unintentionally?
How much pain
Should I gain
Just so I could see her eyes
That glows in my dreams every nights?
How much longer I can carrying this torch
The fire that burnt my feelings into ashes
The flame that harms me the most
That could traumatized me for ages?

I have no idea............

I walked to the moon, and she welcomed me
Greets me and let me in
She pulled me with her gravity
Impatiently waiting for me to reach the ground safely

I touched her surface
Rub it
And get the sense of her on my skin
Smoothly as I can
As balmy as she demands
All my pain and depression began to fades
I felt so beatific
After I saw her smiling

I laid my back on the ground
Her gravity pulled me stronger
Stronger than ever
I looked up at the sky around
The sun and the other stars shining their own universes
It’s just a simple thing, but I could feel so much pleasure

But I cannot stay there longer
I have to go back to earth
She understands my reason
For the need of my oxygen
I walked away
And we go on our separate way
I went down
Back to my hometown
Meet my friends
And tell them about my experience

I walked to the moon and reach back to earth safely
It’s a waste of money
To get the rocket and my safety equipment
I walked to the moon, and it felt like in heaven

I could feel the cold air flowing to my skin
Blowing the branches and leafs
Of the millions trees
Fear describes my feelings
As the woods doesn’t seems to welcome me
And the trees staring at me coldly

The land was so muddy
I felt squeamish
As the mud goes up to my legs
Oh *******
Why am I here in this cursed forest
I hate this place

The wind starts to blow stronger
Then ever
To my face directly
The woods have given me a warning
To get out of there and don’t come back ever again

Alone in the woods, what’s the worst it will happen

I slide the door open
And saw Aurelia reading a novel
Sitting in the living room
On a summer afternoon

Then a man kicked the front door open
Take out his gun and pulled the trigger
And shot Aurelia right on the forehead
My heart dropped and I Screamed Her Name

Few men came in like a soldier
One of them was the leader
I’m the next target
But I don’t want to be dead

So I pulled out my pistol
Pull, aim and fire
Shot dead all of them
Except the leader, his legs were pierced by my bullet

He looked at me and beg for mercy
But all the hatred and anger has controlled me
I shot his torso twice
And his head three times

I leaned my back on the wall
And slowly sat on the floor
Burnt a Marlboro
And gave my lungs some smoke

I looked at Aurelia’s body
No soul, no emotions and no spirit
Her breathless nose
I had a mental break down

Then my eyes were wide opened
Lying down on my bed
No dead men around the area
No Aurelia
It was just a nightmare
I was scared
It felt so real
So real

Dear Aurelia
Do you still remember
The day when I intended to get my self hurt?
With the two bladed knife I have
That I said it will protect myself
Now I want you to look at my arms
Because of you, there is no more blood, scratch and scars

Dear Aurelia
Even if you are not mine
Or if you never put me in your mind
I still miss you very much
But I can’t say that directly to you, because I have no guts
I’m just a coward
Who did mistakes, sins and dream bigger

Dear Aurelia
When I heard you already have a lover
Who is cooler, smarter and better
The pain in my chest won’t stop until now
My mood goes down down and down
I am now broken-hearted
All the colors I saw slowly turns faded

Dear Aurelia
Listen to my heart for once
By reading my feelings as I poured my emotion into this poem I’ve done

I took my pocket knife
Hold it firmly
And scratched the surface of my skin
In front of Aurelia's naked eye

Her negative aura could be felt
Squimish and the room feels like hell
Her cold stare
Creeps me and makes me scare

In a split second, her hand holds my knife
She opens the blade and scratch her tigh
But I didn't see her bleed
I exhale in relief

“You could’ve bleed if you do that” I warned her
Again, I have to see the cold stare of her

"Why did you cut yourself?" She asked me
"Stress" I answered. Short straight and solid

“Don’t you cut yourself again!”
“If I don’t, what’s it for me then?”

She paused for 5 seconds

“I will cut my self too Peter”
“What?! How about your lover?!”
“Don’t care about him”
The way she said it, she is serious

I paused for a while
Thinking of her lover that gone wild

“You love me right?”
That question, really hits my mind
How did she finds out I carry the torch for her?
How did she knows my heart have her name written?
I panicked
And wishing God to get me killed

Then she continues her question
“As a friend”
My heart beats goes back to normal
And in a low voice I replied “yes”

By the time, I made a promise with an angel
The angel who saved me from the reaper
The angel who prevents me to be burnt in hell
The angel who prevents my family crying on my funeral
The angel that will do the same if I harm myself

It wasn't a seed
It was the demon's egg that was buried
Deeply in my heart
The demon starts to crawl

He grows bigger and bigger
He starts to climb to my ear
The words he whispered
Become louder and louder
"**** him Peter"
"Proof your love to her"
"To hell you put her lover"
"Feel the happines of his crying in his torture"

It can't be
The demon have the control of me
All of these hate
Got me lost in faith

I can't do it
But the tendecies
Grows slowly
And it slowly killing me
But I have to bare it

Because she have the joy in him
Eternal joy it seems
Nothing could break them apart
Because their love is solid and hard

And I fear
To drop her tears
As it slowly dripping
And falls down from her chin

I won't let that happen
And I will fight the demon
Till he dies
Or my heart dies

Her eyes are the same as mine. Black and white, but her eyes have beauty in it
Her long hair. Dyed and shines, falls beautifully behind her back, hanging on her head carelessly
Her smile brings joy in life of mine. I want to be the reason of her happiness. Desprately
Her heart makes me blind. I seek nothing else but an imaginative object that I can't see.

Oh Lord let me kiss her lips and let the addiction kills me
Oh Lord let me see her eyes closely. The eyes that will brighten my life so I could see
Oh Lord hear my jealousy, the seed of my sins that grows in my heart slowly
Oh Lord bring her to me. The thief who stole my heart silently

Dear Lord my Saviour
Bless her and protect her
Dear Lord my Saviour
Hear my prayers for her