i miss him
           not like
                  when you lose someone close to you  
but like
       when the last petal falls from the last rose
                  when you know spring is over
                              and you wished you'd played in the rain a little more

She’s a restless bird
inside a cage
with fragile bones
and broken wings
her eyes were pierced
by her lover’s sting
still
she trusts
though she cannot see
her beak was tied
by her lover’s string
still
she waits
to be set free
silently
she weeps
like the moon
does the sea
begging him
please
*let the caged bird sing.

The sun is rising so high and if she could,
She would plant sunflower seeds,
On every inch of her body,
So that one day,
She would become so beautiful,
Standing still with her strong petals,
Her face drinking in sunshine,
Through its rays of light,
Giving hope to everyone,
Especially with the way her eyes
Says hello when she smiles,
Completely clothed with passion and strength,
Laughing without fearing,
About what tomorrow may bring.

She also knows that one day,
Her stems will become soggy,
With fading leaves and falling seeds,
But the sun will silently tell her:
"Hold you down there my dear sunflower,
Please breathe because if that day comes,
You could be a dead flower for a bookmark,
For you can slowly glance up from the page,
And could still bring hope like you always do."

jatmxx

You're that type of person
Who I try to be grumpy
And angry around.
But you make me so happy,
It's so hard to stay that way.
I'm not used to smiling and laughing
All the time,
The way I do with you.

But I am just so in love with you.

I sabotage things.
Never on purpose.
But I'm not really a "permanent"
Kind of person.
"Sticking around" isn't really my thing.

But, with you, I want a family.
I've never had a real family before.
I've never really been part of one.

But I want it,
Because I am just so in love with you.

And you
Are the kind of person
Who makes my heart flutter against the bones
That make up my ribcage,
And I could only imagine
That the beauty of the sound it makes
Is only half as beautiful
As your voice.

And I am just so in love with you.

And you
Are the kind of person
Who leaves a trail of stardust
Everytime you walk away from my arms,
So that I may always find you again,
So that I may always come back home.

And your heart
Is stitched from the purest golden thread and platinum ore.
And your soul
Is weaved out of the feathers
Of songbirds and the smell of burning gasoline or charcoal.
Your voice smells like pumpkin bread and tastes like strawberry red tea with just a little too much sugar.
Your hand in mine feels like a fire that will never go out.
Your arms around me feel like a warm meal that I'm allowed to eat, not just prepare.
Your voice in my ear sounds like I am finally, without a doubt, free from the shackles that made me who I am, scars and all.

I have never been free before.

Your lips, as you kiss me, taste like home. They taste like safety.

I am just so in love with you.

Everyone gets sad every now and then; gloomy, down in the dumps. But like rainbow after storm we find the light again and move on from our sadness, allowing ourselves to live beautifully and colourfully.

For some, this does not apply. There is no rainbow after the storm for their storm never ends. It's a thickness that dwells deeper than bone marrow, a sadness attached to the core of their chests. A longing for a relief that will never be granted. This sadness is deadly.

So how does one love those who refuse to be loved? How do you look them in their clouded eyes and tell them they mean the world to you? How do you watch them hate everything about themselves and have no way of showing them how perfect they are in your eyes? How do you make it stop?

You can't, it's not that simple. This sadness is not a light switch that can be flicked on and off. You'll never fully save them from it (this will hurt you almost as much as them), but you can try to make it easier.

Listen to what they have to say, don't force them to be like you,
Love them for whate'er they are, their coping mechanisms too.
Hold them closely to your chest and always let go last,
Teach them to live in the moment instead of dwelling on the past.

There is no perfect way to love someone who doesn't love themselves.  There will always be down days, relapses, set backs, but none are intentional. Do not be angry with the one you love for not being able to leave the house for a day. Do not scold them for crying over spilled milk - literally. Do not make them feel like this uncontrollable sadness is entirely their fault - if you do this, you are not worthy of their love to begin with.

Loving someone sad is never easy, it can take some work, but you must remember how much work it takes for them to accept the love that they believe
They are not worthy of.

- p. winter

Life is nothing but a rainbow,
Nothing but a simple mixing *** of pigment,
But you,
You were my color.
You were my yellow.
You were the yellow bees buzzing in my stomach,
Fluttering, tickling my throat

You were my yellow
The bright yellow lightning bolt in my rainstorm,
Lighting up my grey skies,
Kindling my soul

You were my yellow,
My yellow gold nugget,
The only thing that gives me value,
The only thing to treasure,
To hold

You were my yellow,
The yellow sun pressed against my face,
The collision between my skin and your warmth,
Calming my mind,
Comforting my soul,

But now,
My yellow is gone,
And everything is cold,
Everything is grey