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I wanna slice up my arms
Leave some real nice scars
Let the blood drip down my skin while I grin like a ******
Then go back in the store before stopping myself from doing more and wishing I had tore open a vein
I’m going insane
Guess I just love the pain
A slave to my brain
It just paves the way for another “episode”
Wish I could just explode
Or slowly corrode
I don’t know how to be with people
I don’t trust the man working in the building with a steeple
They’re supposed to be good but always end up evil
Doing **** that’s illegal
So back to my original thought
Now you know what brought me here
I wanna slice up these arms
Leave them nice and scarred
Cuz this life is ******* hard
And I just wanna feel something else
I feel so alone
Like I got no home
I just want to roam
Check out the unknown
But I'm just a girl living in a semi-dangerous world
Try to keep my pack
Knives stuck in my back
Can't trust anyone
Can't love anyone
Nowhere I belong
Wish I could be strong
All I ever am is wrong
seems so selfless
how could it be just to keep me from exploding from guilt?
turns out forgiveness is for the offender
there is no comfort for the victim
except a way forward
Sometimes we’re softened by the love they try to give
Even if we can’t fully accept it and live
Even if we can’t learn our lesson and forgive
Even if we stay trapped by the pain and continue to relive
Like a movie
Who would choose me? If there were other options
Don’t love me out of duty
Find the beauty in my mess and hang on to that
Love the good parts and help me change the rest
Help me to express these thoughts
I’m always so depressed
I feel so possessed
& I just need some rest
She melted
But melted ice is still H2O
Same girl, different form
Transformed into who she’s always been
Pressure is off when you don’t have to always win
Silly grin, welcome back
Things were looking grim for a while
but she was never lost
Just frozen for a while
Thawed out, there’s the smile
Watch out, joy is leaking in
Sneaking back into that girl
She’s still the same one
who almost gave up when her life had barely begun
But she didn’t change
even if everything else did
And it seems so strange that
She’s stronger now
Now that she melted
 Nov 2022 Anna-Marie Rose
Faking it til I make it,
but there's a monkey on my back.
This normal way, I have to say,
is starting to show cracks.

Turn up to work and get boring **** done,
be nice to the ******* who think they are fun.

Clean up my jokes and censor my speech,
**** corporate blood like a well behaved leech.

I'm dying inside and I know this ****'s killing me.
I feel the old poisonous tentacles pulling me.

Just get ****** up,
and **** it all off,
live your worst life,
the one that you love.
I know you want to hurt me
Convince me I was wrong
But honey I am certain
Ive become far too strong

I gave you every chance
You didn't give a ****
Took you out the depths of hell
You crawled right back in again

I sorted through our ashes
To find our missing pieces
I gave them all to you
Hoping you'd solve your puzzle
Hoping you'd change the tide
What the **** happened
To breaking the cycle
To end it all with you and I

I hear every tear that falls
But you're so far in your denial
You won't pick up the calls
So keep sharing all this nonsense.
Keep pretending that you're fine
I'll be here always
When it comes that time.
Hella business
Got hella *******
Poppin double bottles
With a couple of mistresses
Stellar mistreatment
Here's the key
Lock em in the cellar
Forever their memory lies
But a troubling mystery

Hysteria erupting
Like waves gushing
From the tip of my *****
My genius is better
I'm the King here's my scepter
Now watch the teeth
You worthless Queen
Or I'll stifle them screams

I **** ******* on trampolines
Motion sickness?
Overdose on Dramamine

Slave to the magnitude
Of my impressive **** munching
Exploring deplorable nether-regions galore;
Can't touch me you got nothing
Broke *******
Grind your brain like morning coffee beans

Shame is a word just outside the boundaries
of my fabulous vocabulary

Oh, am I contrite?
How trifling
Check my charm I'm enlightening
Enigmatic and igniting sporadically like lightning
Magically radical voyaging down
                                                  down the rabbit's hole
Inciting excited riots to light fires spark fuses and chew on live wires
You do not frighten me.
Delivering excruciating asphyxiation to every pwn'd n00b
Is my modus operandi
And this is my magnum opus

I have Tourette's

Conceive these merriments of abhorrent mental abortions
Precisely concise and incisive concocting incoherent comatose monstrosities to flatten your lifelines
Conduct these ensembles of debauchery and narcotics -
I'm fascinating;
Crippling your mind like a lobotomy and tripping the light fantastic through bombarding planes of consciousness
I'm on acid thraxXx'd the **** OUT and faded
Levitating fading and oscillating in time while inflating my ego

But lets be realistic
the caliber of my linguistics is intrinsically aesthetic
but none too altruistic
Be reasonable lest I demand be-headings on grounds of treason
Its not hard for me -
It's profound, the sound of suffering;
I'll swallow your soul
'Tis the season!

Inference for instance -
****-hand upturned to oceans of incessant peasants
Pestering to ****** and fluster your festering ****-hole
Exact my revenge; begin phase mayhem
initiating total brain annihilation
interring bodies posthaste with skilled persistence
And sporting in poor taste

You who peers through eye of the pyramid-
Would you be so kind as to interpret my footprint at face-value?
Do you take me for a fool yet seek prophets reaping profits?
Listen to them sleep, baaah-ing away like flocks of little sheep
My hearts not on my sleeve but I have a trick or two up there;

Now bow before my marvelous flow
As I behold my throne whilst throwing bows and exposing hoes.
Check one on the mic I'm about to bite
a victim of race spread out your Peyton place
let me take you down to the hood
this is where you get the real lessons in life
Hustlers pimping their rides
******* screaming cause their fix is dreaming
the place where you get the good blow
I should have come here years ago
out of its silence its a game of violence
guns being drawn out in your face
for some its a social disgrace
still you can learn about how true rap pops
boogy down to your socks just like Scott Lerock
its their you will sift through the latest trends
such as Fetty Wap blowing up the scene
then their are those people who are very mean
the streets can either make you or break you
For me I'm a spin master in my social disaster
Breaking down rhymes in my frying pan
Sticking up for the one's who say," Yes We Can"
Instead of keep sticking it to the man with the plan
You need a heart that's filled with gold
So you will do what you are told until the very rights to you are sold
It's like a jungle sometimes but it makes me wonder
blasting out tracks like Stevie Wonder
your a bundle of joy out holding your own
paying the bills cheap thrills in the back of the car
Learn from your mistakes son & it will make you go far
Only one life is soon to be done only what's done out of love will last
Nobody get a free pass we all have free will
Rap is for winners turning sinners to saints
turning hate to love from the warm hand up above
so keep your dope joint clean if you know what I mean
a winner is just another loser that falls down but gets up & gives it one last try...
 Nov 2022 Anna-Marie Rose
Need drugs for my composure just can't seem to stay sober
Need closure to stay sober oh what overexposure
Dilated pupils and blood shot eyes the voices are mean she calls out and cries
Bars of white powder, crisp and cut clean
Coated with fentanyl just not for the eye to  see
A band-aid with a bow tie or a fix with a twist
I can't count the days sober
Oh what overexposure

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