Every single time she trys to resist,
Grabbing the knife,
Starting to cut deep.
As her hands are shaking
Her tears are flowing,
She know it's only helping for a little while
She needs the pain
She can't cope with the emotion overload,
She know everyone says
Oh wait she's just a typical young mum
She can't handle it
She's never been mentally stable
But wait..
There's a figure of 10% of the young population who suffers from harming there self.
She cuts because she can't talk
She needs to harm her self without hurting anybody else.
This is where she fails..
Not realising she's bringing everyone down who knows about her problem.
But every days a struggle for her not to cause harm
She knows she's shouldn't be thinking like this but she can't control it.
It's spinning out of control.
She wants to see a doctor but she can't.
She's too scared loosing her child.
She's still looking after him
She puts her problems to the side
She's not realising her problems matter the most
If mummys not there, he's got nobody.
Mummy needs her mind to be healthy.
She's telling her self it is,
It's different when she's curled into a ball,
Crying like a *****
She can't stop the tears from rolling down her face.
She just wants to run away.
No matter how much she tries
She just can't stop,
The urge is getting bigger and bigger every single day.
She waking in the night
She day dreaming about it.
It just won't leave her mind.
It's in me more and more everyday.
It's becoming a part of me,
She thought it was there once then left.
She was wrong,
Its been here for months,
She goes to working thinking of it
She lays in bed dreaming of it
She's crying wanting it to leave
Why me why me?! She's calling.
She's screaming for help but nobody can hear she.
She's listening for the sound of help,
She can't hear it.
She's breaking,
She doesn't want nobody to see.
It's 10 years ago how can she be so stupid.
Why now?
It could of stayed dormant for the rest of my life.
Why come to me now??
Why just Why?
Nobody can tell me.
They all tell me to forget and move on.
Why can't nobody tell me nothing.
Why can't anyone tell me a way to stop this hurt.
The hurt needs to go.
She's making invisible thoughts to real scars.
But Why?
This guy took her advantage,
Taken her freedom.
Taken her innocence.
Made her lost her life.
Stolen 12 years of her life.
It just doesn't end.
When the pub gets knocked down,
Your gone from the memory.
She will only have the ones in her mind.
The pub keeps you here with her.
She may not have answers but she have hope.
If the pub goes it just takes you away. Nobody will remember in ten years and it will all be a blur.
But every day she will still be tripping over the same old story.
For every memory she have of you deserves a scar.
It's hard she feel like she has so many already.
She don't want anymore.
She feel like she havnt given my self the full length of the pain.
Why you? Why would you even make me be like this?
You didn't love her
You wanted to steal her;
Self respect
Her dignity
Her pride
Her childhood
No words can describe what you've done to her.
If you seen how she feels would it bother you?
If you seen what she has to do to take the pain away would it bother you
If you seen how many tears have fallen from her face would you be bothered?
For every tear is a memory you shared
It all seemed good
It's just many visions of abuse.