Did you ever love me at all?
Is this the end?
Your words say no, but your half -hearted actions speak louder
I spend my time further and further from you, you spend yours at the bar
Did you ever love me at all?
Is this the end?
My words say no, but my half-hearted actions tell a different story
Just a storybook ending coming from a fairytale beginning
Did I even love you at all?
With the bruises on our faces slowly covering our hearts, and tears taking their last fall
It's safe to say we barely loved at all

I hear them approaching,
the voice oozing from the walls
As they're louder than ever
I fear the deal must be filled
As the devil's on my trail
I guess you don't have to worry now, because I'll be gone before dawn

Feeling the uneasy distance ahead
I tried to reach for you,
but found a void of
what was never to be,
For you see I longed for
what I couldn't have,
I felt for a stranger who didn't care
And all I received were empty pages filled with despair

Light shining through the window screen, and all I see is an array of gray.
As i watch the dust dance across the room,
I should move yet I find comfort in this worn down box.

Light shining through the lamp shades, and all I see is a parade of black.
As I watch the shadows dance across the room,
I should've asked you to stay yet I find comfort in the dark.

Finding you're not here,
and within a second all those memories are fading,
I wished they wouldn't

It seems you were mine only for a dream
While fate plays her cruel cards
Sending my way a broken heart

Finding you're no longer here, in a most unlikely way
Seeing a piece of me, a piece of you gone

Fate playing her cruel game
as I loved you to death
You were mine only for a dream

Watching you, you my prey
I want you
with an uncontrollable desire
Your scent speaking to me, so intense
This hunt
Watching you
Boy don't lie
Boy don't run
I want you
To have your body under mine
To eat you up, your blood...
This hunt
I'm eating it up
Boy keep losing
Boy keep running
My prey
No longer watching from a far
Tonight you're mine
with no escape
the beast inside satisfied hearing your last breathe

Is it possible to have no emotion?
Being so far gone in being numb that I can't the simplest thing about.
I can't think, that's too hard
I can't talk too confusing
Writing a challenge I hate
I feel hollow, an empty shell
I'm here but not entirely
I'm numb
Is it possible to have no emotion?
If so, I have no emotion
No sadness
No joy
I've checked out
I'm here but not entirely

You've gone away
Left me alone
How could you
I miss you
I spend my days
with days dreams of
our planned future
to never be seen
I spend my nights
Staring at the constellation of
Your smiling face looking down
Waiting for the day I can join you
On the other side

Can I write without being heard?
Can I speak without being seen?
A mad man once asked as he stared in the
abyss of the nightmare before him

A mad man who talks with the dancing shapes
of his own shadows on the wall
Can I write without being heard?
Can I speak without being seen?
A beautiful chaos with a mad man that is me

They say mad, they say insane
What's insane?
The voices would disagree
They say mad, they insane
In such a beautiful way
What's insane?
The voices or you?

People say if watch yourself die within a dream you die on the outside
But how come with falling of the sun and the rising of the moon
I watch myself die, I watch that fatal event The day I was taken from my beloved... The day I died
A memory oh that memory I pray to be just a dream
The pain it still lingers
I can still feel the touch of hands, his lips upon mine his smile oh his smile
That haunting image that appears only when I rest my eyes
I think now maybe their right
Because I die everynight knowing I can only see your through my dreams

My heart a black hole of never ending loss of emotion
My mind a vortex of space consuming all
My soul it seems ancient
My body a shell an image that is not me
a false assurance
Nor am I man or women
I am a being
I am a soul with history, with compassion
I am a seeker wandering realms of death
I am one who writes from the deepest caves of mind for the world to see
I am me

Day by Day
with the pain
hidden within
your eyes
Day by Day
with the lies of
reassurance
Night by Night
the clock ticks by
collecting another
breath
Night by Night
lying awake with
fears your smiling
face won't greet me
morning come
Day by Night
my hero fades

A magical place in the forests of old
Where thoughts have wings and,
Souls light up the paths,
Rain floats in midair and laughter runs around playing with childish stories
Why you ask where such a place exists?
Well dear in your dreams
What dreams? My dreams died with Hoffa long ago
Now I'm slaving over a lawn mower and feeding 5 kids with a shovel and a ***
I can't tell stories, unless it's about work
Daddy can you tell me a bedtime story?
Yeah... If it's about grass cutting and dung thrown into dirt
Sweet dreams, well that's only make believe. Want a sweet dream look in a fairytale, because they're only for when you sleep, when you wake its back to reality
So no more dreams just hard work with reality. Well everyone has a dream even you it's something no one can escape. So what dreams you say...
Well sleep and see there's dreams

Loving you is so easy,
I hate you for that
Love and hate
Seems to be our fate
Hating to love each other
Our exits blocked
With no escape
Knowing it won't work out,
Yet I run back to you and you accept
Thinking for the best
Then I leave again and you follow
For love and hate seems to be our fate
Forever tied
Never happy together and miserable apart

Writing so simple and yet complex.
What drives people to put words to a page? Is it hope... madness?
Perhaps is simply an escape, both for readers and author.
            For me writing is not
            merely making an esc-
            ape from reality, but a
            realization of it. To
            make you ponder, look
            around. See the world
            for what it is.
Years I questioned myself, what is my calling? My contribution to the world? Is it my undying thirst for knowledge or a drive for betterment.
Perhaps a teacher to those in need.

I write... write to reach people. To write the dark twisted truths and fears of those who don't.
Writing a simply complex form of sharing your soul to another.

The noise it's so loud
The voices haunting me, they say I'm the Devil, I'm theirs for the taking
Am I?
I swear I'm good
Did you hear that? I think they're back
I'm not ready to go
Do you hear them?
The voices in my head...

What am I?
Who am I?
Am I the bird flying or the mossy floor below?
Questions to be answered yet left behind
Feeling lost in the sea of unknown
These thoughts, emotions I'm at a lose
Am I questioning too much?
Thinking alittle too much?
Trapped in my world of wanting more yet receiving less than desired
My mind seeming empty yet full as I look out unto the sea chaos in this place
My wandering soul slowly fading, my words in the emptiness of obscurity
Blurring my reality with questions I can not answer
Am I here or there?
Am I a ghost unseen or simply barely living?
These thoughts, feelings
Calling out from the dark waiting to be  heard

Broken beyond repair
Someone call the doctor
The lights slowly dimming
The picture fading

Fearing this is the end
She looks in the mirror
hoping to see a smiling face,
but staring back was the cracked
image of what was

Broken beyond repair
Those lights now a soft glow
of yesterday
That beautiful picture now
black

Around every corner
Stands a shadow
Death all around screaming
With shadows of lost souls
crying out for hope
to girl rounding the
corner

But you see
hope she can not bring
She one of them
now a shadow
The keeper of lost souls
Death has taken her hand

Crawling up from the abyss of it
All those years hiding, a walking shadow
Amongst the crowds of masks
to finally walk in the light removing
my own mask for the world to see being
different isn't bad if only you have the strength to remove the mask
Seeing the beauty of us all, the light and  dark of ones inner self
The one under the mask

Locked away
a prisoner to
herself
Daily wars with
the knife
Locked away
in her tower
looking out for light
but finding the darkness
at the bottom of the bottle
Locked away
a prisoner to
herself
now free
an Angel
amongst light

I don't feel like a poet, No sir I don't
I can write words upon a page
But does that make me a poet?
I have passion for the art
Am I a poet yet?
My pen meets paper with scribbles of thoughts
Am I a poet yet?
I share tales of the heart
Am I a poet yet?
Today I feel not of a poet
But of a girl who shares of madness