What am I?
Who am I?
Am I the bird flying or the mossy floor below?
Questions to be answered yet left behind
Feeling lost in the sea of unknown
These thoughts, emotions I'm at a lose
Am I questioning too much?
Thinking alittle too much?
Trapped in my world of wanting more yet receiving less than desired
My mind seeming empty yet full as I look out unto the sea chaos in this place
My wandering soul slowly fading, my words in the emptiness of obscurity
Blurring my reality with questions I can not answer
Am I here or there?
Am I a ghost unseen or simply barely living?
These thoughts, feelings
Calling out from the dark waiting to be  heard

Doctor
Please no need for meds
I swear the voices in my head only try to help
You see I can't stand on my own two feet
Doctor
What's the matter with me
Obsessed?
Depressed?
******? Well maybe
But who are you to judge me?
Oh your degree, I see
Well that maybe
These voices say such delicate words and you care to tune them out
Well Doctor I fear the meds are better suited up your ***

I had a dream last night
that we were perfect, happily loving each other

Then i awoke from the dream
to find you aren't mine and I'm
just a fool with a beautiful dream
of you holding me tight.

Take me back to where the earth smiled and my weird mind thrived
All I do is write words that make you cringe

Oh just a loser to modern time
A stranger talking to trees
living for strange thoughts and peaceful nights

Glued to a window the rain falls opposite of me speaks my pain
Days coming round where I'm cruelest to myself

Oh just a loser in your heart and mind
Even kicked by the freaks
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I be the same?

Grew up an outcast, a half-breed
Am I unworthy of love?
No luck of thing called love
I paint a picture of romance different from the norms
Unable to feel in the same cold manner
Call what you will
I'm a loser trapped in between lines, hiding to be sane

All I do is listen and pray to invisible words of the shadows on the wall
I'm a loser in between worlds, can't somebody take be home
Above those clouds and away from prying eyes

Broken beyond repair
Someone call the doctor
The lights slowly dimming
The picture fading

Fearing this is the end
She looks in the mirror
hoping to see a smiling face,
but staring back was the cracked
image of what was

Broken beyond repair
Those lights now a soft glow
of yesterday
That beautiful picture now
black

Crude lines
that held no
meaning till
she wept on
crumbled pages

I'm an *** this I know,
No need to tell me twice
The mirror tells me everyday

The noise it's so loud
The voices haunting me, they say I'm the Devil, I'm theirs for the taking
Am I?
I swear I'm good
Did you hear that? I think they're back
I'm not ready to go
Do you hear them?
The voices in my head...

Is it possible to have no emotion?
Being so far gone in being numb that I can't the simplest thing about.
I can't think, that's too hard
I can't talk too confusing
Writing a challenge I hate
I feel hollow, an empty shell
I'm here but not entirely
I'm numb
Is it possible to have no emotion?
If so, I have no emotion
No sadness
No joy
I've checked out
I'm here but not entirely

Mother of the year
they cheer
If only they knew the
skeletons you hide
with your rotting teeth and heavy bags
Mother of the year
What lovely kids
They cheer
Not knowing the silence is fear of her whip
and no food to eat
Oh mother of the year who stays high
Mother who gives drugs to your child for pure entertainment
Mother of the year
Not from what I hear

You've haunted my dreams,
and now have come into view.
With all flames and hellish crusades,
Why do this to me?
You dance around as though
a prize is to be won,
with your riddleing songs.
But they don't call to me,
I won't let this be.
Tonight your killing spree
ends with me..

As the moon grew full
so did the sorrow in her mind,
the night she picked up the knife
instead of the pen
For the drops on the floor were more poetically true of
her innerself than her open ended words on that paper
could ever be...

Can I write without being heard?
Can I speak without being seen?
A mad man once asked as he stared in the
abyss of the nightmare before him

A mad man who talks with the dancing shapes
of his own shadows on the wall
Can I write without being heard?
Can I speak without being seen?
A beautiful chaos with a mad man that is me

Watching you, you my prey
I want you
with an uncontrollable desire
Your scent speaking to me, so intense
This hunt
Watching you
Boy don't lie
Boy don't run
I want you
To have your body under mine
To eat you up, your blood...
This hunt
I'm eating it up
Boy keep losing
Boy keep running
My prey
No longer watching from a far
Tonight you're mine
with no escape
the beast inside satisfied hearing your last breathe

A magical place in the forests of old
Where thoughts have wings and,
Souls light up the paths,
Rain floats in midair and laughter runs around playing with childish stories
Why you ask where such a place exists?
Well dear in your dreams
What dreams? My dreams died with Hoffa long ago
Now I'm slaving over a lawn mower and feeding 5 kids with a shovel and a ***
I can't tell stories, unless it's about work
Daddy can you tell me a bedtime story?
Yeah... If it's about grass cutting and dung thrown into dirt
Sweet dreams, well that's only make believe. Want a sweet dream look in a fairytale, because they're only for when you sleep, when you wake its back to reality
So no more dreams just hard work with reality. Well everyone has a dream even you it's something no one can escape. So what dreams you say...
Well sleep and see there's dreams

I'm too far gone
for even the angels
to save.

Finding you're not here,
and within a second all those memories are fading,
I wished they wouldn't

It seems you were mine only for a dream
While fate plays her cruel cards
Sending my way a broken heart

Finding you're no longer here, in a most unlikely way
Seeing a piece of me, a piece of you gone

Fate playing her cruel game
as I loved you to death
You were mine only for a dream

Did you ever love me at all?
Is this the end?
Your words say no, but your half -hearted actions speak louder
I spend my time further and further from you, you spend yours at the bar
Did you ever love me at all?
Is this the end?
My words say no, but my half-hearted actions tell a different story
Just a storybook ending coming from a fairytale beginning
Did I even love you at all?
With the bruises on our faces slowly covering our hearts, and tears taking their last fall
It's safe to say we barely loved at all

Alien bride traveling back in time,
Such an odd thing to think.
Oh alien bride capturing my mind,
I'm living in the Cosmos of a
different mind.
Time traveling through thoughts
Of another, strange it seems.
But have you smelled the roses
of a distant world?
I'm an alien bride traveling
through time.

Just a swipe of the pen
and a turn of the page
Your heart shatters
as her blood splattered papers
Reveal the monster inside
Just a swipe of the pen
and a turn of the page
You find you're just an
ink stain in the book

Nobody understood
the torture you observed,
what you lived.
A broken home
Mother sold you in
exchange for a quick high
Father saw you as a
substitute for your mother
In and out of psych wards even they thought you weren't sane enough to save
Years pass thinking life's f*ed up
Now your here
a picture of your dear mother
Selling your own,
now for that same high
In and out psych wards
look at you now..
A lost cause, on trial for ******
Nobody understood you needed love never hate

All that is said
is never done
All my thoughts stashed upon the highest shelf, and
my dreams of you confined for I'm scared to fly
My biggest trait is both my light and dark
All that is said
is never done
carelessly with care
I've cut off my oxygen and removed my wings
All that is me
Is but a dream
I've become a puppet in a box scared to breathe

The girl of my dreams
fell in love with an ***
and that girl is me

Look at them
noticing me,
I think they finally see
through the dark of me,
the demon inside.
I was beginning to
believe I was living.
Possibly breathing
But I was dreaming,
thinking they'd see me.
They believed me
deceased

Flowers upon
my page
as I
doodle my
life away

Chaos rules your brain
living your days,
dancing with demons
in a clear smoked filled pipe.
Change can be uncontrollable,
but you're off the deep end, in love
with what you can't get.
As you sacrifice your soul
for a high that kills us all.
Placing knives in backs that
had yours.
Do those bruises make you
feel beautiful now?
Now cradle the lies you made,
Oh honey how does that
mediocre life taste?

What a waste
It is to say
I care.
How silly of me
to think you'd share.
I Can stare with you
For hours as
we lay there.
But without a care,
You whisper I'm the spare.
As your heart lies in despair,
Over a line of states.
Now I'm here with tears.
Wasting away
with silly little
Words of love.

Say grand with
little words
Say little with
grand words

Day by Day
with the pain
hidden within
your eyes
Day by Day
with the lies of
reassurance
Night by Night
the clock ticks by
collecting another
breath
Night by Night
lying awake with
fears your smiling
face won't greet me
morning come
Day by Night
my hero fades

Can't stand the rain
Can't stand the rain

Not with the red eyes
Staring down at me

Oh I'd sing and play
A parade for you

Can't stand the rain
Can't stand the rain

No, not tonight
as we part in the chaos

Oh darling can't see
I can't kiss and tell

I can't stand the rain
Falling from your face

My middle name was
Death, because I wrote
of a rose who grew
through blood

I wish I could say I'm shocked,
but love isn't us
Did you enjoy her bed?
Because your drunken call
sayed it all
Dear you can do
better than that
You forget I have friends
in this town too, and tonight
I'll have treat as well
Sharing my bed with
Jack and Crown

I don't feel like a poet, No sir I don't
I can write words upon a page
But does that make me a poet?
I have passion for the art
Am I a poet yet?
My pen meets paper with scribbles of thoughts
Am I a poet yet?
I share tales of the heart
Am I a poet yet?
Today I feel not of a poet
But of a girl who shares of madness

You've gone away
Left me alone
How could you
I miss you
I spend my days
with days dreams of
our planned future
to never be seen
I spend my nights
Staring at the constellation of
Your smiling face looking down
Waiting for the day I can join you
On the other side

Walks in silence like a ghost
Never to be seen nor heard
The voices swirling around her head like a vortex consuming her every thought.

Wishing for the chaos to cease as she
reaches for your hand
But you can't see he pain you cause
or the ghost by your side slowly going mad
As she alone wanders the world, without  a place amongst the living

Writing so simple and yet complex.
What drives people to put words to a page? Is it hope... madness?
Perhaps is simply an escape, both for readers and author.
            For me writing is not
            merely making an esc-
            ape from reality, but a
            realization of it. To
            make you ponder, look
            around. See the world
            for what it is.
Years I questioned myself, what is my calling? My contribution to the world? Is it my undying thirst for knowledge or a drive for betterment.
Perhaps a teacher to those in need.

I write... write to reach people. To write the dark twisted truths and fears of those who don't.
Writing a simply complex form of sharing your soul to another.

A distant girl who lives a lie,
Only to come alive as she
bleeds her stories upon
torn pages, hoping you'd
read her cries

She made friends with her words, but over time people turned their backs. Drowning as she pushed them away,
It seemed with every goodbye lowered a rope..

A distant girl who lives a lie,
Only to come alive as she
bleeds her stories upon
torn pages, hoping you'd
read her cries.
lives out her dreams in
peace

She made friends with her words.
She never knew the day she
whispered her last goodbye.
As her feet hung above the floor

The taste you leave
After you run away
leaving me,
alone in a haze.
Its like fire in my veins
A burning desire.
And everytime I reach for you
It's like grabbing smoke
I wish I could be done with you
Wash you away
Then maybe then
When the numbness sets in
and I fade,
then can I  finally breath

Cold as ice
a sin unto herself
the devil unto others

I’ll miss you
My love but it's best
we part ways
You've been my joy, my comfort
but it's hurts
more to stay than to leave
So I hope you dream of me
in the night and miss me too

She just sits and stares
mindlessly at the wall
Oblivious to the ****-filled sores
oozing down her arm..
Letting the wheels stop turning and the fog from her high cloud her mind
She sits and stares mindlessly at the wall
That dusty breeze from that worn down fan turning her hair to a messy mop
She sold her soul for a bag and a room to use
And there she sits and stares mindlessly at the wall dead as can be
How did get this far?

Light shining through the window screen, and all I see is an array of gray.
As i watch the dust dance across the room,
I should move yet I find comfort in this worn down box.

Light shining through the lamp shades, and all I see is a parade of black.
As I watch the shadows dance across the room,
I should've asked you to stay yet I find comfort in the dark.

There, There
Over There
Do you see the man upon the wall?
The one whispering my demise.
He crawls with a muddy face,
and eyes to ****.
There, there
Over There
Do you see the puddle of my mind?
Because only I can feel
the breathe of death
upon my neck