after cutting timber
at the top of the hill
I waited for you
not long enough for the magpie’s
wing-feather to fall from the conifer
and then your silhouette
along with the sunset
struck me
and drawing closer
your smile
drawing closer

There once was a girl who would cry,
And every night she'd go home
And wish she would die
One day came home form school
And took out her tool
To find out cutting is the most ultimate high

The feeling of the blade running across your skin.
The blood dripping down your legs, and arms.
The numb feeling going all over your body.
Is that what you wanted in the first place.
Not to feel your pain.
Also not having those horrible thoughts in your mind.
After awhile those thoughts will come back with bigger urges...

You caught me with a blade
Pressed against my stomach
Drawing blood
You told me Jesus loves me
And world war 3 would stop
If I'd just call out on him

You told me that wouldn't make life easier
But it would help me live
A happy healthy life
But I can't give it up
My attempts at grasping for control

My shirt had blood on it
You watched me clean off the blood
You sighed, and reminded me
That I was worth something
Of course, I didn't hear you

I'm worrying now
That you'll tell my mom
That I'll get shipped off some place
Where they keep sharp things away
My blade has dulled
And so has the pain
I swear, I'll stop
I just needed to feel better

The blood that bleeds
It bleeds and leaks
Emotions pour out
Releases the doubt
Down your arm
Its calling out
That shiny blade
It screams and screams
LET ME OUT
Your cares and dreams
Wanna shout
Take me out
Push me in
Deeper and deeper
Your getting weaker
You can't refuse
Nothing to lose
Emotions drain
With every slice
Feeling alive
For that pain
You can't deprive
And when it dries
You cry and cry
You see that blade
Calling out
CUT THE PAIN AWAY
Just breakout
Checkout of life
Slice to bleed
Bleed to slice
Roll the dice
Take a chance
Stop the pain
Of sharp romance
Another way
Not today
Its no coincidence
Its confidence
Believe
Not in a crisp blade
In chances and life
DROP THE KNIFE
Its not your friend
This is the beginning
That's the end

I will rip my veins apart
and then my mind will be at peace
for a while

My wrist will pour blood
I need it to bleed
or bead

I am counting the seconds
till this can happen
5..4..3..2..1..

I am now content
with the results
but I'm getting dizzy

I can hear sirens
the sound is getting stronger
is it coming for me?


(lcb)

What I say: I'm not hurting myself because you don't love me. I'm hurting myself because I hate me.
What I mean**: Please come back and love me so I can stop hurting myself.