New
Like the dawn
The glorious sunrise
Pinkish hues awash with silent beiges
And the sun
Is a fiery orb
Coloring life into every living thing

I feel the new
With my breath
In and out
And I think of the ocean
The powerful ocean
I can feel it within my heart,
The waves rumbling through my veins

I can see the new
In not so distant visions
Of a future full of growth
I’ve healed so much
And yet there’s more
More of the new
I open my doors
Let it all in
All the gloriously soothing beauty
Of life’s simplest pleasures
Healing me

There’s been a crack made in my lifelong illusions
I’m beginning to feel clarity, and not confusion
Saying yes yes yes
To more beauty.

I remember a day
When i walked in the rain

It was calming

I smiled

Yet something within me
Made me think

Do i believe in you?
Do you believe in i?

"He" does

Do they believe in "Him"?

I guess

"Anywhere is"

a quote of Al Pacino

<>
it took/takes
a lifetime to get close
to where the answer
possibilities  don’t river
rush past, and each eddy
seems like that’s the one,
the definitive affirmative, 
 jump in and all you get
for misjudgment, is a
sopping wet
for your troubles

but you keep on jumping
from job to job, roll from
role to role, cause
even if the
last one is not
a fulsome answer, it
is in possess of the
creative release,
the high that satisfies
till you need a
new hit, another hint,
of tapping into
the vein of creation
that enlivens and
declares, I am purposed
for this,
no matter
how long it takes,
and or the
errors of mistooks,

me I’ll keep jotting down
jumbled jimmied words
in new combine
until such time -and rap,
I can say well shoot
that’s a wrap,

eyelid hints at
a rest but at
the same time
it gives forth
a sloooow wink,
that best poem
yet to come
won’t likely arrive
until it
comes forth
in a last gasp,

a final exhaustion,
exhaustive expelling
and even might be
highly satisfactory
breadth of a last and
everlasting breath~taking
****! just got
t a k e n



nml

I wish for a peace of mind
Away from the voices
Haunting me all the time
I close my eyes as they get louder
Hoping the darkness will wash them away
Instead pictures ignite, keeping me at bay
I realize there’s no escape
To free me from this cage
I wait till sleep comes to drift me away
From the words and images of the demons keeping me awake

My mother said be lady.
But it seems all you want is a *****!

So, this isn’t Love!

the best fishing trip to the cabin
and we never went fishing,

a torrential down pour.

it rained for 3 days, the electricity

went out and we had charcoal, barbecued
on the porch.

a candle and a lantern.
there were batteries and a radio.

we smoked a joint,
drank beer and we talked
about the the stars
and the care and release of fish.

listened to music...


...an hour before sunrise
I took my fishing pole
and headed down to the river
where the ripples and rapids
mimic modern life

sunrise lit the sky on fire
and slowly off the river the mist rose

mingled into sky

and I spread my brother's ashes in the river
and every river flows to the sea.

(love you, Dean)

my knuckles are stained with blood and ink and my heart is stained with you

your heart
breaks different
when it beats
alone

Every fight and war
Fought for one of three
Woman, land and money

there is nothing wrong
with human nature this is
just the way we are

I've had you on a pedestal,
I've had you look at me so tall;
Must've been so brutal,
When you felt the fall.

Was it unfair?
Or did I misinterpret your glare?
My apologies for the stare;
Must've been a justice flare.

I loved you.
And then I hated you
in both
I was hurt.

perhaps the most complex feeling
is feeling everything at once
the sympathy of a lover
the cold from a friend
everything shattering at once
residue of a rainfall

pain flares
and the cold blooms
the heat of freezing
the coldness of mistakes
everything finally stood still
residue of a rainfall

the soft pitter patter pulling me through the night

Through pain and hardship, strength is grown,
Where courage blooms from seeds unknown.
It’s easy to forget the fight,
That forged their hearts within the night.

The strongest souls bear hidden scars,
Their battles waged in silent wars.
Yet walls are built, and hearts made true,
With every storm they battled through.

Now confidence, like stone, remains,
A quiet fire, fed by pains.
From broken ground, they rise and stand—
The toughest hearts, the gentlest hands.

You were a handsome
orange and white tabby cat;
majestic and loved.

— Sincerely, Boris

I have learned to recite Quran at a very young age,
We went to school in the morning,
And to Madrasa in the afternoon,
I don't know Arabic,
My mother tongue is Gujrati,
I don't understand what I am reciting,
But it is the Book of Allah,
And after reading it,
I feel I have cleansed myself of sins,
A sense of calmness and peace comes over me,
And if any day I miss reciting it I feel empty.
14/10/2024

a quote of Al Pacino

<>
it took/takes a lifetime to get close
to where the answer possibilities
don’t river rush past, and each eddy
seems like that’s the one, the definitive
affirmative,  jump in and all you get
for misjudgment, is a sopping wet
for your troubles

but you keep on jumping from job
to job, roll from role to role, cause
even if the
last one is not a fulsome answer, it
is in possess of the creative release,
the high that satisfies till you need a
new hit, another hint, of tapping into
the vein of creation that enlivens and
declares, I am purposed
for this,
no matter how long it takes,
and the errors of mistooks,
me I’ll keep jotting down
jumbled jimmied words
in new combinations until
I can say well that’s a wrap,

eyelid hints ai a rest but at
the same time
it gives forth a slow wink,
that best poem yet to come
won’t likely arrive until it
comes forth in a last gasp,

a final exhaustion, exhaustive,
and even highly satisfactor
breadth of a last and
everlasting
breath~taking
t a k e n



nml

The frogs of the forest
Are seldom silent.

Their croaking resonates,
Moving the air like liquid.

Other animals are forced
To listen to the tiny tyrants.

One of the frogs hesitates
Before saying,

The frogs of the forest
Are seldom silent.

No matter how many mountains I write of, every word speaks only of you. Waking from a broken dream, regret lingers with each return to consciousness.

I never told you I loved you
because I don’t.
At least, not in the way you think  

I never gave you my best
because you never really gave me yours.
At least, not when it mattered

I could give you a thousand tries
and you still wouldn’t see.
Your issue will always be you,
it was never with me.

I’m tired of influencers faking nervousness.
my generation wants to care less
these days.
it’s a counter-current hack.
we want to be less defined.
we can search and reflect for ourselves.
we’re sick of the emotion
that’s all over everyone’s faces,
the unsightly splotches of opinion.
the entire election machine,
the process of getting there, is smudged.
It’s a curated mess, an advising spin,
an incomprehensible hex:

“Oh profit pondering,
contradictory means to an end
- bless weave, and conceal,
bloodless dollar debt options,
painful penny pincher paradoxes,
and deadly debt bliss dilemmas..”

“Is this a witch or an arbitrager?” Lisa asked, after rudely leaning over and reading up to this point.
“I was shooting for a numinous type of beat,” I revealed.
“We’re supposed to be working on our thesis definitions,” she said accusingly.
“Are you not challenged, here, hour by hour?” I asked sarcastically.
“I need ideas - well - I have too many ideas, I need some focus, I wanted to see what you had.”
I deadpan looked at her, “Well, you broke the spell - I lost my train.” I complained dryly.
“Don’t put me in a situation.” she said, waving my gripe off as insignificant.
.
.
Songs for this:
Easier Said Than Done by Thee Sacred Souls
drive ME crazy! by Lil Yachty
Melt by Nilüfer Yany

Four

weeks that you were gone
In Ba Sing Se I was feeling like a pawn

The Dai Li keeping the war a secret
I felt so helpless and weak but

I had to keep looking for my fuzzy friend
The issues of this city we had to amend

You were broken and betrayed
The fires hot making you afraid

Iroh and Zuko set you free
Now reunited I can brave the

Elements

My Grandmère and I have long, gossipy conversations,
where we fall into our own chatty, slumber party rhythms.

She’s met or knows everyone important, and people tell her things.

They DM her or whisper secrets of lives ordered but loveless,
of careers choked by excesses and indiscretions.

She gets stealthy, leaked business reports of purported fortunes gambled and lost or of innocence wasted in bittersweet embrace - delicious, tangled narratives that expose the gaps between facades and realities that can’t be purchased.

Sometimes we pop popcorn on our private ends of the Atlantic,
watch Netflix, share secrets and laugh conspiratorially.
.
.
Songs for this:
Us by Regina Spektor
Young And Dumb by The Bird and the Bee

I'll play guitar, you go to sleep
In the morning I will meet
Your eyes again,
But until then
My love, sleep well.
_M.

What they say must be true
That absence makes the heart grow fonder
Since these days my mind seems to wander
To the girl I said I was
Since all of this is beyond her

Tell me I am worth an aching heart
Tell me I am worth someone's letters
Tell me me this pain gets better
So I am not alone during January
Wearing no one's sweater

I am no beauty in the valley
So I hope my song compensates
And the field I dominate
With my rambling words
Each word I agnominate

Please don't laugh aloud
About the puddles of my tears
They are filled with so many fears
And genuine disappointment
When the devil reappears

Cancel my empty meetings
For the things I find pleasing
Life has come to no meaning
And all that I've loved
Is ever decreasing

I sit in my car waiting
For the money from that
Quick cash job
I just did
To hit my account,

So I can go inside
And get myself
Something to drink,

Fire trucks fill the
Roads under the
Glare of an afternoon
Moon,

God, what a weird
Position I’ve
put myself in.

I don’t know
If I believe in soulmates
Or fate

But if you told me
That something
Or someone
Had planned for us to meet
And made each of us
For the other

My darling I don’t know
If I would be able
To argue

You are
Everything I always dreamed of
And
Everything
I could’ve never imagined

I take a bow .
It don't make sense, Blame the cash cow
Dance on the fence,  you forgot to smile....

ha,
i forgot to smile ...


Deeper then the trench, if you actin wild
Deeper then these drugs with a black and mild
If we talking love then I  ran a mileeeemmmmm

I thought you was the one but you just a (mm,)

Okie I took two pop another (mm)

Me myself and I with a little
(Mmmmmmm)