The sun has risen,
can you hear?
the songs of the morning birds.

Life begins to wake,
the gentle breeze,
blows softly against the trees.
A lovely view awaits.

The orange sky,
the feeling of life!
a beautiful sunrise it is.

Some days, it’s a hunger
a deep pull from the stomach,
not for food, not for water,
but for something unnamed,
something just out of reach.

It’s in the way the morning air feels electric,
like possibility itself,
how the sun spills over cracked sidewalks,
touching everything,
saying, Look. Be here. Want more.

It’s in the ache of laughter
that lasts too long,
in the way music grips the ribs
and shakes loose something tender.
It’s the way fingers linger
when hands almost meet.

And yes, some days, the hunger fades,
buried under the weight of routine,
but then
a scent, a sound, a sudden rush of memory
and there it is again,
the pull, the ache, the craving
for more of this,
this fragile, fleeting, impossible thing.

This life.

~~~ Act I ~~~

Behold the queen.
Drenched in such pathetic,

Luxury.

Behold the king.
Soaking in such unauthentic,

Company.


Have you seen the jack?
He been doin somethin, shady, in the,

Back.

But don't ya worry there's, no plan,
To get, caught, in such synthetic,

Conditions.


Do you feel so esteemed?
With your trifles and titles,
And what's real and what's, not?
Do you feel esteemed?
With your scandals and secrets,
Such typical tricks.


Behold!
There's the, Ace.
Look at his, pretty face.
Absorbing that,

Prestige.

But look at that, glacial, gaze.
He got something to,

Say?


Oh I see that, glacial, gaze.
Lookin at somethin you ain't ever gonna,

See.


Behold, the Ace!
With a disappointed look on his, pretty face.
Looks like he ain't gonna,

Say.


Do you feel so esteemed?
With your trifles and titles,
And what's real and what's not?
Do you feel so esteemed?
With your scandals and secrets,
You're making me sick!


Behold the queen,
Plotting with her pretty,

Ladies.

Behold the king,
Oblivious to such unauthentic,

Company.


Oh, behold!
There's jack and the Ace!
Ace, you gonna put him in his, place?
Don't ya got somethin to, say?
Nah, you ain't gonna,

Say.


You know he's their son anyway.
You wouldn't wanna scare him away.
You wouldn't do that to his,

Face.


His FILTHY!
SICK!
Stupid, face...


That ain't the,

FACE,

of a Jack!

That's the face of a...

SPOILED BRAT!



~~~ Act II ~~~

BEHOLD THE QUEEN!
Who MURDERS her husband,
And spoils her rich little son!
BEHOLD THE ACE!
He got SOMETHIN to say!
But he ain't gonna,

Say.


Just look at that, glacial gaze.
Starin at somethin he ain't ever gonna,

See.


HEY, ACE!
Why don't ya TELL jack,
Ya don't like his shady business!?
Ya scared he ain't gonna, care?
Ya scared mama gonna,

Care?


HEY ACE, HEY ACE!
That ain't the FACE of the Ace!
Not with that glacial, gaze.
You gonna keep starin at somethin you ain't ever gonna,

See?


BEHOLD THE QUEEN!
OH SO ESTEEMED!
LOOK AT HER DRENCHED IN SUCH PATHETIC, LUXURY!
OH, BEHOLD THE KING!
HE DROWNED IN SUCH UNAUTHENTIC, COMPANY!

BEHOLD THE JACK!
DOIN SOMETHIN SHADY IN THE BACK!
HEY, ACE!
You gonna put him in his place!?
You just gonna WATCH this corruption,
Let em all feel so,

Esteemed?

Gonna let a mother ****** her husband,
And spoil her rich little son!?
You gonna let him GET AWAY,
With his DANGEROUS, fun!?

OH, THEY FEEL SO ESTEEMED!
WITH THEIR MURDERS AND TRIFLES,
AND WHAT'S REAL AND WHAT'S NOT!
DO YOU FEEL SO ESTEEMED!?
Workin for his mother, that,

*****?


HEY ACE, HEY ACE!
I get it, you're right!
HEY ACE, HEY ACE!
It's above your,

Paygrade.


Hey Ace, you're right.
It's above your,

Paygrade.

But why ya gotta keep, starin,
At somethin you ain't, ever gonna,

See?


Just let that jack be,
He ain't what ya wanna,

See.


Oh Ace, it's above your, paygrade.
You know he's their son, anyway.
So you just gonna stare, with that, glacial, gaze?
At somethin you ain't ever gonna,

See?

Better hope that, mama, don't,

See.

The thoughts keep coming back
The ones that force me to remember
A few years ago
I had to endure
Your sharp teeth
Among my delicate flesh
Bruising my skin
When I kept telling you to stop it
When I kept trying to push you off of me
Screaming
Crying
Because I didn't want that
I didn't want you,
My step-sibling,
To give me hickies
Around the age of 9
I was scared
But you wouldn't budge
You just continued to create them
As if it was normal

You'd try to make me hide them
As if you painted black marks
On a board
And tried covering it over
With white
Every foundation we tried to use
Wouldn't be able to work
Because it was too light for me
And was dried out
And I would have to cover it
With my hair

I would have to live with the fact
That no matter what I try
To bring attention to
The hickies
You left on my face and neck,
No one would believe me
Or do anything about it
There was absolutely no discipline for you

Terribly tired of being your toy.

The drama in my head comes and goes.

I stayed too long,
trying to find,
the person lost,
within your mind.

some people's footsteps are loud
they want everyone to know that they have entered
or perhaps they have no reason to hide
They strike the ground first with their heel
you can always hear them approach

but mine?
my footsteps are silent
I glide across without a sound
no one needs to know that I am here
I have reason to hide
I tread first with the pads of my feet
you will never hear me approach

When I fear my heart
has become too small
for the love
it carries
failing
to
express
the muchness
of
it
all

I used to draw on my arm all the time
Nothing big or elaborate
Just a triangle
One triangle
Then I wouldn’t hear the end of it
Everyone complaining
Ink poisoning
Future punk
What’s next, a motorcycle?
So I stopped
I stopped drawing that little triangle on my wrist
Right above my pulse point
But with it
I
Stopped
L I v I n g.
A triangle was supposed to be the strongest shape
It was supposed to make me strong
But I wasn’t even strong enough
To let it stay

Amidst the daisies,
all I could see,
was you.

Just us alone,
beneath blue sky.

You beside me, eyes closed,
wind tracing its fingers
through your hair,
bathed in sunlight,
your soft smile lingering.

Oh, how I envy them—
for giving you a peace
I can only dream of.

Smile, smile , smile hey human,
Not just because the world expects it .


Smile because,
Your soul needs it ,
Your heart needs it ,
Your mind needs it,
Your victory needs  it ,
Your dreams need it,
Your love needs it,
Your courage needs it ,
Your strength needs it ,
Your journey needs it ,
Your fears need it ,
Your tears need it ,
Your healings need it ,
Your failures need it.


Hey human, don't  let your precious smile fade.
Smile, smile , smile, hey human,
Because your happiness lies  within you.

Well…
this is not good.

I really, really hoped
you would look worse,
smell worse,
sound worse,
feel worse,
kiss worse…

But you are perfect.
Which means
I have a problem.

The flower needs rest,
so winter tucks it beneath the earth,
letting it sleep until spring.

The sun needs rest,
so the clouds and rain embrace it,
shielding its warmth for another day.

Step by step,
no louder than breath—
I walk beside
what isn’t mine to name.

No banners,
no blueprints,
just this sound
of stone learning softness.

You open a window.
I keep the door unlatched.

Let fear finish its echo.
Let the dark chants drift.

Not all ruin is ending.
Some of it
is soil.

I don't love you
But I love you so much
I am trying

Let's talk
Soult to Soul
Beyond the lips
Over the eyes
After the touches
Without the beliefs
Only with a soul
I walked into you
Gave you my soul
Saw your purity
And your shadow
You feel free now
I feel like you too
We will never see
Eye to eye down
I left you cause I knew
You left me to let me know

I don’t remember
Falling out of love
But I remember hanging on
With my own sweaty hands
That were slowly losing grip
Begging you to just help me hold on
A little bit longer
And I remember the weight of your silence
Heavy, like a sorrow wrapped blanket
But most importantly,
I remember after
And the way the sun felt
Warming the chill
That your absence left
And the way that my tears
Fell like rain
Watering the forgotten garden
Of my soul

I can't **** this pain,
Not with a knive or pencil,
Not with foul words or soft lips,
Not with caring hands or a fist.

It is the pain of a love
Where once more Cupid missed.

In stillness hush
A Dreamers realm
Vivid the stars
Guiding lights
In sweet serene
Two spirits will meet

"How do you carry
the weight
of memories?"
I asked.

She looked at me,
tears filling her eyes.

A quiet moment
I steal it and wrap the stillness around myself
Bury my head in it
Until the sharp, outraged cry of my babe
Indignant at being left alone in his crib
Pulls the covers off
leaves me cold, shivering
Then I’m up
Tripping along
to my day job as Mommy

my longing,
is never fading,
my heart, it keeps invading,

yet,

it consumes,
and blooms,
a harbinger of doom,

it is not nice,
nor worth the price,
doesn't listen to advice,
this creeping vice,

I'll admit it to be true,
for this is my ode to you,
my nemesis,
companion,
and lover,
...food.

Someday love,
We'll live down by the sea,
Together for all of eternity.

Someday love,
We'll be away from pestering eyes,
Making a life for ourselves.

Someday love,
We'll grow old with our son and daughter,
Joyously watching as they grow.

Someday. . .

Perhaps when I
Warn myself
Of unrealistic fantasies and dreams
I forget that there
Is such a thing
As unrealistic nightmares
Too

If I jump will I take flight
If I fall will I be rain
If I ***** will I wake up
If I don't know then who's to say

My puffed chest, full of (your) breath
Yet I Choke, yet I Suffocate.

Your hand in my hand, worlds entwined
Yet I Dream, yet I Fear.

Everything forgotten, in your embrace
Yet I Wander, yet I Fail.

Four meters destiny, clock tickling straight
Yet I Ignore, yet I Wait.

Everything's Dark, everything's great
Yet I see, yet I Bait.

I see It coming, I Run away
Yet It chases, yet It Wins.

Clutch my arm, and "me" above Fate
Oh my Darling, I Suffocate.

April arrives—bare, too soon
unraveling the winds

Do the mountains know
Do the rivers

That you are the light
sharp as the moon

Pink blossoms bloom—
splitting the bluest sky

Do the seas confess
Do the sunsets

That you are
the ocean’s dream

Pearls, flowers, and rains—
flower into spring

Green meadows grow
into butterflies

Do the stars concede
Do the shadows

That you are
summer's smile—

The forest of heaven
and dawn

wilderness, the cosmic
heartbeat—

simply, outrageously
irrevocably

beautiful

what if you knew
not only the poet
but also the monster?

would you like me enough
to keep reading?

"why?" is the question at hand
why do things never go as planned
i sit alone awake at night
wondering why i can't do anything right
why am i even here i wonder
what happens to us when we go down under
why do i do the things that i do
what is false and what is true
all of these questions scattered around
the weight of them increasing pound by pound
maybe my destiny will soon be uncovered
maybe new paths are yet to be discovered
for now the time will fly
and i'll still be asking "why?"