Truth is I'm afraid...
Of friends,
Skeptic of lovers.
I resist affection
Just to blame on others.
I feel so much that this poem can't cover.

I rarely smile
but once in a while I may admire your style
I may purse my lips
As your head will bow
I'll make you woo,
How about now?

At last my love is gone
Into the sheets of a new home.
I was a dog, loved to dig your bones.
But in return you'd ***** and moan.
I'm well off now, big fine Grown.
This is my farewell,
Because I did us wrong.

Little bird
What song do you sing?
Teach me to fly and I'll show you a thing.

Ferocious lion
Are you the King?
Teach me to hunt and I'll devour anything.

Heathen Human
Master of all,
Humble thyself
Before you fall.

Brain on fire
Demons don't tire.
I try to sleep during hunting hours.

Heart of stone
Life is wrong
"I need the creator on the phone!"

Soul is pure,
Well -- I'm not sure
But death shall be my only cure.

I am love.
I am wealth.
I hold purity and grace in my belt.

I am strength.
I know pain.
I carry secrets and dreams in my name.

I am she.
She is black.
I hold no titles,
Just a monkey on my back.

Fragile heart inside my chest
Can't find the love
Can't feel the rest.

Fragile heart below my head
Heavy is the soul
Who soils the bed.

Fragile heart, fragmented brain
I'm nobody's victim
But they do have names.

I had a friend name Mani.
I c why he never showed.
Once he did--- pressed his happiness
On ones he thought should know:
His highs got high but his lower went low....and this MANI C, are called episodes.

Being black is a heart attack
Being woman is the blues.
Being black is a stroke.  
Being woman is to play sleep by acting woke.
Being woman is hard and being black is trouble.....
But let me chew first, before you burst my bubbles.

Eyes wait on me like I'm the table
Pour me some'n brown, black label.
Lips pursed as a coke cola curve.
She said hello, I held back the urge.
Before I said goodbye, I fought up the nerve....
To utter only those last four words.

The aftershock of love
Always shakes me the hardest.
I pushed you away
Now you've gone the farthest.

A delay in reaction
Is usually my action.
Divided two hearts,
Down to the lowest fraction.

Forgive me most
for I'm usually on time
I ran out of excuses,
Leaving you on my mind.

A bath a day
Washes the sin away.
I scrub the skin,
But can't reach within.
A pill a night
Numbs my desire to fight
Hours are loan sharks
That pack a bite.
Sun shines; body grows older
Moonlight; heart grows colder.

I want you to know
I tried my best.
Heart couldn't settle,
Mind wouldn't rest.

Angels and demons
Lived in my flesh.
Jealous of birds,
Able to leave their nest.

I want you know,
Next time will be better.
I'm probably gone
If you receive this letter.

Every kiss begins with K
the initial of your first name
I whisper it slowly,
doesn't quite sound the same.

Power plays, *** filled days
A cheap thrill one might say
midnight drives, moonlit eyes
seductive melodies of ******* cries.

Every kiss begins with K
yet nothing from your lips was ever real.
Even if I wanted to say your name,
the sensation will never hold the same feel.

her name was season
she could change four times.
her name was silver,
they called her dime.
her name was motion
she came, and went.
they called her good-time,
money well spent.
her name was legend
villain, hero, lover, and friend.
she left with everything,
that's how the story begins...

Who am I to deserve?
I was once a Queen,
but now I serve.

Who am I to dream of hope?
Just a sinner,
I inhale pain to cope.

Who am to exhale a wish?
Angels I've abandoned,
Demons I've kissed.

Who am I to wrestle with earth?
I afflicted myself,
that day, at birth.

I sing along to sad songs
Because another lover have left me alone.
I cry in silence
Because I lack the balance ----
Between  love | hate
The scales always tip, when the Heartbreaker heart breaks.

Afraid of the darkness
I hid within.
Afraid of strangers
I became my friend.
Afraid of dying
so I refused to live.
Afraid of ends,
so I refused to start
Afraid of love,
so I broke my own heart.

it's hard in times like this
when I'm away, that face I miss
when you talk, I watch your lips
fantasizing about our first kiss

not sure if you're taken
or if you go this way
but **** baby,
you make my day!

I've been here before
and yes I am afraid
but I won't let you go
until I get laid

days have passed without your face
I wonder who will take my place
through my mind you run, a fast pace
my heart is yours if you win this race

lust is the only thing in those streets
I pray for love, I play for keeps
I fell for you, a reckless leap
tell me you want me, don't be discreet!

At lust's feet
I have fallen

hormones need help
your body it's calling

I've waited too long
so now you're stalling

but hear my plea
come rescue thee

teach me my lesson
come punish me

send tingles down my spine
can I call you mine?
kiss my skin
can I let you in?

caress my curves
ease my nerves
make me moan
such a beautiful tone

tickle my secrets
their yours, will you keep it?
it's been too long since I felt this sensation
park your body in my remote location.

passed by a mirror, caught a glance
the devil is beautiful when he dance

dark shadows walk slowly
I'm not her, you don't know me

my brain goes insane
this illness is no game

voices kidnap my head
held hostage till' I'm dead

depression haunts me at night
I hide under the sheets,
I refuse to fight.

I fight back the tears
of so many dark years
death shall come, but it's life I fear.

running out of precious time
everything and nothing
on my dangerous mind.

prayers go up
Lord send me a sign
trying to keep the faith, before I commit a crime.

If I could, I would build you a heart
one that could not be broken
one incapable of falling apart

If I could, I would wash away your tears
drown them in the murky waters
with all of your fears

If I could, I would shelter you from harm
shield you from dark days
and frequent storms

If I could, I would protect you 24/7
saving you from this hell
until you ascend to Heaven

we were too young to understand
I was not yet a woman, you weren't a man
even still, we did the best we can
the both of us lost in LaLa land

you gave me more than I could ever ask
though loving me was no easy task
way too fragile, I broke the glass
quits you called it, way too fast

your heart fell to pieces, my tears fell down
our love laid helplessly on the ground
from my nightmare I awoke, but you weren't around
vanished through my dreams, never again to be found

why do I cry when I look at the sky?
knowing one day, I'll say goodbye
leaving all my hurt and all my worry
life is slow, but deaths a hurry
I only hope I did all I can
wishing God has mercy, he'll understand
apologies to women, sorry to man
at Heaven's gate, I'll proudly stand!

I know I'm running out of time
fear has stolen what is mine
legs stuck, unable to move
too many roads in life, which one to choose?
2 steps forward , 5 steps back
my life's purpose is under attack
I hate defeat, can't stand to lose
**** this mid twenties blues

heart in your large hands
legs weak, hard for me to stand
held captive to a evil man
I could leave, I know I can
but its scary out there
foreign land

I promised not to fall for you
quick sand
I promised not to love you
feelings banned
but I live for you

----your biggest fan

cologne in the air
can't help but stare

not sure why I care
skin flawless and fair

in my blue heart lies a tear
which for you, I shamelessly wear

you don't deserve me I swear
yet even with options I'm not going anywhere

winter is near
and loneliness is here
I want to hug you like the sweater you wear
but in my heart there is a tear
because I miss you like sailors miss a swear
like a blind man, I can't find your love anywhere
and that's not right my love, it's just not fair
you may not mind this and you might not care
but while you are away, your body and your love
please do not share...
because you are all mine
and we shall return to one another in time.

I had never felt rejection to your degree
I was charismatic, who could resist me?

you turned away from my tender kisses
though my direct passes never misses

I'm left asking what went wrong
did I come on way too strong?

you were the sweetest most sour person I've ever known....

woman was not made to be alone
on her own faking to be strong.

woman was not made to *******
such a thing as ******* requires a mate.

woman was not made to cry in solitude
for comfort on his shoulder is true soul food.

woman was not made for this world
for men prey on and devour innocent little girls.

in the beginning was you
a beautiful lie
promising me something true.

in the middle was us
caught in the crossfire of love
All we did was disagree, fight, and fuss.

in the end is now me
realizing with you is where I need to be.
searching for something I once had

*you drive me crazy, you drive me mad

I do not know how to say no
I let people in my life
and welcome them to come and go
while I'm left feeling low.

I do not know how to love myself
so instead I love everyone else
or at least it's what I like to believe
although I can't cope when they leave.

I do not know how to live
so day by day I die
death shall be my greatest high
and for the millionth time I'll say goodbye.

I have become a disappointment to my self
filled with pride, afraid to ask for help

my addictions have grown beyond size
I am unsure if I can still rise

obstacles laugh at me
they invite me to a party of pity

I reject the invitation
for enough demons I am already facing

how am I to survive
when I don't feel alive

how am I to breathe
when my life has never been a breeze

how am  I to relax
when my soul is under attack

how am I to have peace
when I'm never at ease

How can I appreciate the sun
when all I know is rain

*why oh why God must I be in pain?

the sun will always shine after the rain
as pleasure will appear after the pain
for I am the calm before the storm
seems as if I was doomed before I was even born
they say how can you be so sad with your type of charm?
I tell them my heart is dislocated and my soul is torn.

summer hates me

and guess what?

I hate her back.

I was never the easiest to love
no man would fit like O.J's glove

I was never the easiest to leave
countdown to go, like New Years Eve

I was never confident with my hearts emotions
I am the shallow part of the deep blue oceans

I was never in tune with my souls true feelings
lying to myself, seeking ****** healings

Now I'm left with all my ******* and baggage
empty affairs have created a Savage

I have shared my love with too many thieves
I wear my scars like a tattoo sleeve

I have shared my body with too many beasts
blood, sweat, and tears on my bedroom sheets

I have given things that I did not have
now I need purification, a sinners bath

I have lost count of partners and dates
now I choose to love myself, I hope it's not too late

I remember sitting next to you
butterflies inside
as you sat there mad

I recall apologizing
for my bad behavior
wishing for a savoir

I remembering kissing your cheek
hoping that would make things right
but our love never returned, out of sight