"unbalance" poems
Now this particular girl
During a ceremonious april walk
With her latest suitor
Found herself, of a sudden, intolerably struck
By the birds' irregular babel
And the leaves' litter.
By this tumult afflicted, she
Observed her lover's gestures unbalance the air,
His gait stray uneven
Through a rank wilderness of fern and flower;
She judged petals in disarray,
The whole season, sloven.
How she longed for winter then! --
Scrupulously austere in its order
Of white and black
Ice and rock; each sentiment within border,
And heart's frosty discipline
Exact as a snowflake.
But here -- a burgeoning
Unruly enough to pitch her five queenly wits
Into ****** motley --
A treason not to be borne; let idiots
Reel giddy in bedlam spring:
She withdrew neatly.
And round her house she set
Such a barricade of barb and check
Against mutinous weather
As no mere insurgent man could hope to break
With curse, fist, threat
Or love, either.
19.1k
An artist,
I’m scared to be left to my thinking atoms and nuclear cells
Why solder my raining thoughts to reality
In my head I can’t trust these clockworks
Rusted gears precariously tricking forward
Tensions unbalance on a pinched nerve ending
Hesitate I retract to others knowing what I don’t know
That once I start I might fail
I don’t do what I want to
I don’t speak when I want to
When I so desperately need to
Before I explode
Violently, into a void
Void of emotionless urges
An artist like me if I so believe I am
Doubtfully attempts to act in the face of thunder
Only to cowardly hide in a cat’s whisker
Inner bricking delays outer progress
Progress I provocatively flaunt to the alive bodies
While knowing the fallacious congrats is unwarranted
I don’t believe in magical rainbow kitten surprise wishes
But I won’t also hide my love
With the internal flame dimming
I want to act the part by flipping over the stones
For the mysteries hidden away
To see them crawling out
My untapped desires
Jul 28, 2018
Jul 28, 2018 at 6:34 PM UTC
.
*I awake in the night and whisper your name,
is it just a dream when only silence replies?
a melancholy descends like a blanket of shame
at the arousal of remembering your Siren's eyes.
Such sleep as I had not enjoyed in long ages
disturbed by the intrusion of an old lovers face,
rearing up to unbalance the serenity pages,
your name passes my lips with yearning grace.
Unsettled by your surprise and quiet arrival
I lay back, anxiously sigh to the waiting void,
uneasy closing my eyes, craving dream survival
but the illusion of rest has now been destroyed.
I sleep in the night and whisper your name,
is it a dream as the silent in mute rejoice?
A sadness drops slow like a blanket of shame,
at the distance of remembering your Siren's voice.*
© Pagan Paul (21/10/18)
Oct 21, 2018
Oct 21, 2018 at 12:52 PM UTC
i don't appreciate the stairs i walk on every single day. sometimes, i complain that point A to point B is too far for me to walk. i don't appreciate the rain that suddenly comes after many sunny days. the water wets my shoes and leaves my socks soaked. sometimes i walk around campus and wonder what i'm doing with my life. i always feel so lost. i look around and see unfamiliar faces. faces holding all types of emotions. i find that beautiful. i also find it beautiful that every bystander becomes part of your life, because for some reason, you and them are in the same place at the same time. it's even more beautiful when it happens in the most natural way. As if, it was meant to be. how crazy is it that two worlds can cross paths to become one? but there are worlds that keep on moving parallel to each other. I look around and see life. I see that i need to appreciate more. Appreciate the elevator that takes too long. The professor that cusses at 8 o'clock in the morning during class. Appreciate those who smile at you when walking through crowded hallways. Appreciate the idea that everyone is living so complex, just like me. Appreciate the hustle. Appreciate the process. Appreciate the unknown. Appreciate whats in store for me. Appreciate knowing and not knowing all at once. Appreciate the growth. Appreciate the balance that appears after the unbalance. Appreciate me. Appreciate another day. Appreciate life.
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018 at 11:16 PM UTC
melancholy blanketed the whites
scarred voices muffled by
a ****** mind.
an avalanche stuck in my soul
severer than a bee at a forked road
how confused!
red-cheeked petals and afternoon birds glare
in confusions at the footsteps :
unbalance, shaded, muted!
the green umbrella's warm, so scorchingly cold!
all embittered, by solemn beams of the soulless sun.
their eyes widen,
for they had never seen such lone,
for such lone, rare, is forbid to the sons of nature,
never belong to happy child's arms,
that dreams in a mother's charm.
grieving droughts in the air and grass,
no dews, why!,
yawned the madden, soporific rabbit
Ah, so wild.
the windless noontime cross, my quivers stopped, mild.
lashes waxed, blacken like a coal,
mind stuck in a haze, or maybe a threatening maze.
stiffness of the air injected to my nostrils
into my white tongue they will soak, like perfumes to a clothe.
Selene will gaze angrily at this and say,
why no, it shouldn't be in there!
the midnight orchids waver and frown.
soon the frothing dreams peter,
but the bolded letters in a white board stay,
my chair stays.
creaks of an abominable burden became a din.
The smudges of grey-white dust I smelt
hover gaily in the air of pompous breath.
spellbound by the stagnant languor,
mazy, in hallucinations of the heat and homesick.
I sought the fount of hypocrisy and vile,
my hiding nonchalances rosen
(towards a flock of friends)
and loathes to an abominable sun frozen
(I wished it to die!)
Tilted to the windows,
I saw nothing, but fatal secrets of a heart rosed
like window dust to a nose.
Jan 2, 2014
Jan 2, 2014 at 3:45 AM UTC
Raindrops,
falling on water
that was still.
Creating sweet unbalance
at one with natures will.
Timeless moment,
wanting nothing from the world.
I listen to its whispers
to see what I might learn.
And the mallard,
his cheeky little eyes
are throwing me a knowing look
as he glides on by.
I watch it now in motion.
I wonder bout his world.
All that he embodies,
with no one to serve.
A sense of truth
a sense freedom,
which seems out of human reach.
I watch the world around me
to seek what it may teach.
There's anger in the bracken
and anger in the grass.
It sweeps down from the valley
and kicks me in the ****
It plays with my emotions,
as sometimes anger can,
and then it asks me questions
about the fruitless quests of men.
It leads me to an ancient ruin
where time has took its toll,
there's anger in the mortor,
and anger in the stone.
It wraps itself around me
with a promise to let go,
if I can live a truer life
if I can learn to grow.
It leaves me with an energy,
yet tired on the sand,
it told me it may still return
for anger is unplanned.
It leaves me with a message,
as only anger can.
Yes anger is an energy,
an energy unplanned.
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 6:36 AM UTC
All perish whence they quest for immortality,
Such foolish dreams will result in fatality.
Critters struggle in nets of ersatz reality,
Hormonal clashes unbalance our morality.
Under the influence by budding, ravishing thyme,
Oft' that sunny beam leaves me doing pantomime.
Chaste clues and envy droughts left me mellowing,
Such pain ipso facto I can't kiss this porcelain.
My seat of notions drives me to calculate,
While undead, fatigued, I falsely formulate.
Floundering in viscous fluids, I am drowning...
My verdant sail is half-mast: lonely, frowning.
Within moon-lit meadows, shadows flow cursively,
Beyond the kaleidoscope lay a rustic key.
Beg you pardon the rust and blackened fissures,
Pardon those slights to open eternal treasures.
To crave two heart beats align in synchrony,
To sluice my fingers through the strands of memory.
Embracing silvery asps soaring on the breeze,
My sight spies thy adieu and I shatter apiece.
Un-writing errors, distantly, unstumbling,
The abyss: now a star, wings unfurling.
'Tween the heavens fell meteoric golds,
Sinusoidal cascades of such sublime codes.
Traversed steadily upon the gilded firmaments,
Was so small, blind to the unseen monuments.
To be offered aristocratic absolution,
From my humble plebeian resolution.
I am sublime. 'Hold my dichotomous, nay,
Such cantankerous introversion within, eh?
Sep 22, 2010
Sep 22, 2010 at 3:40 PM UTC
I’ve peace at unbalance,
It’s lightly cocked to the left
It’s as good as it might get
To be centered is unnatural
It’s unauthentic
My stomach can hardly bear it
I’m slightly jealous
Just so my heart can hurt
A little bit
I’m handsome in a ugly way
I’ve got a lazy eye
and a beard that quite won't fill
It took awhile to learn how to tie my shoe.
It's fine, I like laughing, poetry too
I'd like to think so
Almost good
Jun 23, 2017
Jun 23, 2017 at 7:55 PM UTC
This silence is too loud to bear.
As the internal screams pierce the stale air.
My feet feel nailed to the ground;
although I'd like to run away
I'm trapped by all that's around.
My prayers to God are shouted at the top of my lungs - in my private room.
still it seems only a whisper he cannot discern - when done praying the problems resume.
Though I'm surrounded by friends, family & those I love so dearly,
I feel so alone, secluded & lost as I can never express myself clearly.
They shower me with praise, or appreciation or reassurance
My auto-reply is "Thank you" while inside I'm losing endurance.
They say "you're so strong. Keep up the good deeds"
Yet no one asks me if I'm fulfilling all my needs.
Financially secure, well-fed & comfortable home.
In a job that I despise, eating unbalance unhealthy meals, and feeling so alone.
The internal screams get louder with each passing day
As I wonder when they will become so loud that God finally finds me a way
To find peace
Silent the screams
The internal torment
Deliver me from these demons
That haunt me & taunt me
And seek to devour me
So that I can hear The sweet sounds of silence again.
Jan 15, 2013
Jan 15, 2013 at 1:12 AM UTC
Waves of ripples flow from my *******
As your touch, my resistance cripples.
Slow to tease, but quick to please,
Caress drowns inhibitions with ease.
As my body sinks to the ice cold floor,
All I know is that I crave more.
Down and down and down you go,
Where you’ll go, only my fantasies know.
As you reach your destination, my body quivers,
My chemicals unbalance, flow like rivers.
Ready to succumb to a sea of pleasure,
You’ve reached my island and found my treasure.
I set sail into the sunset of the afterglow,
A place far away that only intimacy knows.
I’ll be beached under a couple of coconut trees,
Thinking of you my love, down on your knees.
Jan 6, 2014
Jan 6, 2014 at 8:34 AM UTC
*In the breeze of cold wind
Shivering in temperamental emotional pondering
I engulf in a journey of motion steering
Who are they who makes head aching problems?
People who succumb to their will, like me!
Suffers a low, unbalance gold fee
I’m widening the patience I have left
Though I’m tired of these awful mess
The aura of fine is at my will
A choice to pay the bills
Its a challenging flight of my well-being
Time is fast approaching for me to be back Home
To feel warm again is what I long for…
The hands of cold oceanic waves paints an empty wall
In Deep Blue….
*
Nov 29, 2016
Nov 29, 2016 at 7:22 AM UTC
when the tides come in
and pull at the soles of my feet
unbalance
me.
(grown used to a sensation of falling
i have, i’ve
fall
en
many times before, again i’ll
fall
many times over.
many times over.)
when the sweet warm welcome of
a pulse-line and jersey --
it was quite
unexpected (the
tide),
took me by surprise
but hold and fortress came boxed in
a silhouette i knew to be
You.
Jul 9, 2013
Jul 9, 2013 at 2:04 AM UTC
Haunting and longing
entangle my arms
limbs stretching so far
but they don't even match my height
*We might reach for stars
but you
you could obtain cosmos*
It's wrong, too strenuous
Maybe I can
Moreover do i want to?
No. no no no
I'm gasping
Simple is what I dream about
Haa Hah
I love my dreams
perhaps because they are unobtainable
and no matter how often
You can, you will!
I can/andwill not
But tonight these sheets are too bright
I see them gleam in my darkness
It crawls beneath me
"Look at me! Your blank canvas!
- paint the world."
I let darkness devour me.
This is my apocalypse of shadows.
*She could have been so much more
what drove her to madness
nobody comes back from an unbalance
such as hers: pitch and shimmer*
This is my dream
I've settled in satisfaction
and I adore it all
I cannot recall a time I felt more alive.
Haa Hah Hah
...I cannot recall daylight
hmm? what importance does...
Shhhhh, whisper my shadows
come deeper.
Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 12:18 PM UTC
This is not a house filled with love,
Nor hope,
Respect does not reside here,
In this house,
The doors are closed to happiness,
The windows block out tenderness,
This house does not hold joy,
Or welcome laughter,
This house is consumed by depression,
Controlled by unbalance and deceit,
Conquered by dishonesty and lies,
Built on the foundations of mistrust,
Holding nothing but pain and misery,
This house is not a home,
But a prison of despair
Jan 2, 2011
Jan 2, 2011 at 12:16 AM UTC
I might be a little mad
A lot more than a little
But you'll never know it
You'll never see it
Except
If you let me take a peak
At your own madness
Give me a glimpse
Of your delighted delirium
Let me have a look
At your affable aberrations
Your lovely lunacies
And your faithful foolishness
And your foolish faithfulness
Give me a piece of your
Deceitful delusions
And your happy hysteria
And I'll give you a slice
Of my own crazy cake
Balanced with utter unbalance
And dire derangement
And adorable absurdities
And the naked truth
And mad, mad me
Show me your madness
And I'll give you,
Me.
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 8:19 AM UTC
Living in a state of unbalance,
cuz peace & rest don't serve.
Take away everything,
tackle & push me to my limits,
with my back against a wall
I will perform all my best miracles.
My saving grace is always found
while I'm walking thru the storm
Peace of mind is death,
Chaos and uncertainty create new waves.
Ask any physicist, Entropy Rules the Day.
Jul 20, 2014
Jul 20, 2014 at 7:11 AM UTC
Close your eyes for the moment.
Seeing clouds billow in the Horizon.
Smokey skies surround the light emitting from the mouths of the creative.
Punished are those who dare to shine through.
Dreams are limited in discretion but plentiful in oppression.
Keep it up kids blow past the corners.
Line up with the narrow road to the kingdom of the new world.
Tred slowly for they have not gained the momentum to catch you.
Whilst convincing them of the future trying to convert the rebels.
Conformists calculate, delegate and deliberate but none can Contaminate.
Get angry at the light hearted thoughts of going home.
Highten senses cause for unbalance within the scale of followers.
Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 6:12 PM UTC
Life’s hurtle is but short,
When you make me believe I leap,
This world seems like a child’s thing,
So easy to control.
My nightmares are so hazy when,
Your chemicals unbalance me.
I laugh at all my demons,
Like there is no danger.
All my worries fade,
Like the faces of my friends.
My mistakes can’t make a mark,
All will be erased.
Erased like the pain from my heart,
Erased like my past life.
Don’t make me face today alone,
Blur my vision with your heady fog.
I want to feel invincible.
I don’t want to feel my fall.
Jun 25, 2010
Jun 25, 2010 at 3:29 PM UTC
I never thought I'd have to hold my tongue so still
And you would be the one; reticent.
How fascinating our mistakes are, how repetitive
And how fascinating that the truth is squeezed from both of us like
that last bit of toothpaste from the bottle.
I feel a shift.
A paradoxical disorder unaccounted for,
I fear the change because I am the change.
You were always a force that lacked equivalence,
And it was your unbalance that undid me;
before I thought my balance was my exchange.
Now I think you are too quiet, my thoughts too loud.
You fight with yourself mostly, and slam doors.
I'm too proud to admit I'm wrong.
We'll never work out. Not really.
And it is a shame.
Sep 20, 2012
Sep 20, 2012 at 10:49 PM UTC
Energetic vampires crucify as
their feet sink on the ground
arms afloat in fits pounding
their body is entirely hammered
to sit in conclusions of others
Their form is a liquid chameleon
one that flows like a gel of misery
Their emotions are on the gear drive
like dying wax on a gassed chamber
These dark energies are permeable
as their existence fasten death
on our calm natured souls
Their doom is a constant taunt
a blackened hole of dark form
The horn they raise is evil
like an adventure wire of unbalance
For my destiny I hold them not
Their eyes of desire vibrate
like a treasure of lost beads
*They beat in a sack and ****
as we duck on the underpass
Their nails are hardened and long
as they gnaw all that is not theirs
Their teeth protrude and grind
grounded in the egoistical trespass
Their palms are calloused and aged
prearrange in a planned plot
Their aura electrified to burn
spreading a life threatening smoke
that haze of the unnamed display
As one rolls like a wrestled ball
Let go and rise up from the witched prey
Tilt the strength and dull their day
Filter their strength from your glory
Shadow them with the light and shine
Go beyond, fly above, as they live below
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 5:13 PM UTC
A once popular friend
Is just a memory
Torn into bits, but now dimness
Totally lost
Is where I stand
Destroyed by separation
Reminds me
The unthinkable
Questioned her judgement
Supporting my cause
She was there
Running through me
Then the day came suddenly
From out of nowhere
Her feelings I can't control
Pouring out the unbalance pain
To our souls
What has come over us?
To a saga of misery
Nov 20, 2009
Nov 20, 2009 at 9:27 PM UTC
drowned
drained
unconscious...
unhealthful thoughts
weaken of flesh
tired and alone....
darkness inside
unbalance time
broken wings...
solemnity absorbed
tears inside
Thy Words, reminds.
forgiveness
of unbecoming, to you
be restoreth in time....
be renwed now
my heart and mind
knees on, THY ground.
Oct 9, 2016
Oct 9, 2016 at 12:27 PM UTC
Isolde stands at the window
of her old room. Her mother
and sister sit around the small
white table, talking to Tristana.
Cobwebs hang from the metal
curtain rail, a dead spider hangs
like a dead parachutist, a dried
up fly on the white painted
windowsill. The first few days
out of the asylum seem odd,
seem to unbalance her. Tristana
seems engaging well with her
icy mother, her sister looks on
anxiously. My room, she had
told Tristana. My bed, she had
added pointing to the bed
pushed against a wall. In the
asylum, some weeks back,
she and Tristana had ******
The fat nurse had caught them
and reported. There had been
giggles and guffaws in the staff
room afterwards. Now she and
Tristana were free, government
clearout, new policy, economical
necessities. She stares at her
mother’s head move from side
to side, her jaw opening and
closing like the shark she was.
Just a quick visitation, she said.
Her mother’s eyes and mouth
opened with shock when they
turned up. Not staying, she had
informed. Visiting the once, she
had said. Her mother seemed
relieved, her sister white as a
sheet, nodded her head like
some cheap doll. The room
was cold, colder than before.
She’d been taken from here
those years back, screaming,
held between men in white,
out into the cold night. Be gone
soon, she mutters, rubbing a
finger down the pane of glass,
making a rude noise, all heads
turn toward her room from
the garden below. Goodbye
old room, time for us to go.
Dec 14, 2012
Dec 14, 2012 at 8:13 AM UTC
ray peeps around a corner,
playful child reflecting light through
a periscope. lashing gales, umbrellas concave,
ponds dampen scurrying workers.
morning sky was blue, everything
turned with lunch. praise replaced by
a battle back to element of gas.
curtains drape to trap comforts.
again the sun hides, astral signals
unbalance and change. Venus to star
in a celestial ballet. scorching orb
of retina burn the prop and set.
eclipses of dramatic entrances in a single
month. exit from knots and
hibernation from the troubles of others.
a bear stomps to a hollow trunk.
king tides and fishermen endangered, waters
rise hauled by lunar spectacles.
maddening navigators endanger with
skids escaping weather and wheels.
pool at the back door trapped by
leaves on a grate. level rises then cleanses
bricks as a gust clears the drain. A single
dawn ‘til she casts her spell
on a damaged inhabitant. James Cook sailed
with secret plans to record her dance.
pressure on, contingencies set, the
ninth battalion armed and twitching
Apr 4, 2015
Apr 4, 2015 at 4:04 AM UTC