"stull" poems
Someone who you dared to find
Plays upon words like gravity to a feather
Ease up in the moment for she be tethered
Each and every word more devious than the last
Creature feature, double danger, double-dealing
Hideous unlike any other, but rather only
in the way this conscience sounds his soul
SPEECH
Will only, one’s own creativity shine
It’s strength towers over, in length of time
Let’s pretend that you really are fine
Luscious treats then await you, the future shines to sate you
©Jessica Stull
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018 at 2:47 AM UTC
I’ll never start a fight
Indeed you start the flame,
And I’ll explode
Perhaps it’s my crimson hair that attack’s my soul
But stereotypical propaganda aside
I have nothing to hide
Indeed you call me out
I’ll trash your name
I live for love and peace
But there’s only so much hate one woman can’t escape
I beg for release
And pity your air
You walk with your noise so high
All just to hide your shame inside
All while making me look the fool
But I refuse to take blame for something I didn’t do
I’ll never start a fight, it’s beneath me
But I will finish it
And sometimes it’s in the unlikeliest of ways
But the best part is really just not caring what the hell you say
Your words rot and decay like ash to the wind
I like to blow them and spit fire, it’s just the way I am
I don’t take any kinda mess or fuss
It’s beneath me
©Jessica Stull
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 11:57 PM UTC
Look behind everything you’ve been told, and see the lies unfold
Not everything is as it seems, as though we may try to avoid plots and schemes
A world awaits where we be zipped up and laying inside a cage
Perhaps infinite fires of the souls delight, might pry forbidden truth’s to sight
We’ve only read of hell, but what indeed if we be internally brought to the plate, the brim, the fiery pits of dark sin
I’ll sing hymns of anarchy and bleed my lips bare dry
I’m a woman made of fury
With eye’s that seek means of a way to purity
This is who I am
Though the world seems to try and shut me down
Fury... builds into rage, not always staged
Shalt you be enraged?
Though meant for a stage
Admittedly so, you’ll be witness of my show
That just like the snow will fall on the heads of those who don’t know
©Jessica Stull
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 12:15 AM UTC
Fire, ice, spit, crackle, break into slice
Crimson, spirited scented perfumes
Aching fury, lonesome soul
Thou shalt know the torment raging below
Redolent though, the remindful memories we hold
©Jessica Stull
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 20, 2018 at 6:32 PM UTC
How many times will this wheel spin
Create the weave alike to cave in
You shoulda known I’d be filled out, made to be put out, sought out
I shoulda known to practice a reserved attitude
Reckless in approach
And at this point
I’m playing with the fire
It’s dying like a roach
Through with this burning ****
When you ain’t even worth a spit
I gotta call it quits
I don’t take or put up fits
I just do it for the kicks
Kick in the ice and freeze © Jessica Stull
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 12:29 PM UTC
In the case of a senseless reality
Those who may indeed happily lie to me
Sly with a grin a twerk of a smear
You can lie for sure dear
But you’re just giving me more words to play upon a spindle of voices soon to be longingly forgotten
My strength only grows from the disdain of long slow days that take away from the beauty I seek
Perhaps those who thirst, prey upon the meek
Lies are fun indeed to play on...
But I dare not play with karma, for I’ve learned she bites back harder
So play me your lies for nothing can sure hide forever
I dare you to phase me, spare me the excess, except that is the truth.
Even truth said too soon
What would phase me even more,
The actions to match
But that’s just my thoughts a-running
I’ve got other things awaiting
I was taught,
Open your mind and protect your heart
©Jessica Stull
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 12:04 AM UTC
Fighting battles inside my head
You portray them as farce and dead
Yet you laugh and a vengeance peels from your lips
Let me tell you what lies I’ve decapitated from the many voices pursuing my name,
You may see my pain
But I am not weak
In fact I’ve got many a battle wounds healing as we speak
But you may say what you will
I’d like the change the play and change the bill
Yet we used to play such games hidden away rotting like the old mushrooms from another late sunny day
No I am not weak
You are indeed the weak one who’ll soon find your lips have been sewn as such to hide the dark mausoleum which once held your velvet soft tongue
Yet such words of hate spilled from that very mouth once
I’ll smile for yet my vengeance has been kept fast
I speak of peace but I dare say that hate brews quite fast
So quite instead
I can spread my peace
But my love can’t always be paid back, and received
I’ll keep tight onto my dreams
A world I’ve built, no pain, no gain, no one to laugh and call you insane.
©Jessica Stull
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 11:29 PM UTC
It’s funny how we cave away, rot, and decay
But the beauty that stands, is held in the other hand
We love to hate what we create or we fall in our own grave
We try to be wise and not give into disguise
However sly ones with a grin can trick you from within
Never do we have the right plan for escape or a veil of protection, like a cape
But we do learn from our mistake
The beauty of this play
Is it’s actually more like a game
It’s your choice if you’d like to play or stay away
In the end we all cave away, rot, and decay
But the beauty that stands is played by the hidden hand, this game can end
No more “play-pretend”
©Jessica Stull
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 1:41 AM UTC
Yeah I’m a bit insane
A bit off line
Walking a line
Trying to keep steady and feet heavy
But **** you make it hard to understand
I’m not choosing
So if you make me, then you’ll lose
Not some **** “duck,duck, goose”
Is it too much to ask or to beg?
Actually I got another better way to say
I’ll work and I’ll fight for everything I want and can’t have
To not live, to aim, to please
I will aim to cease
Any name whom shall try to cut me
Go ahead, take a blow at me
See my feet still heavy?
No, actually I love me
Just like you
You look in the mirror who else you gonna run to
Too many demons you gravitate to?
Okay now jump the tracks, I want my life back.
“F***k” you, where the love at?
©Jessica Stull
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 9:15 PM UTC
As so much as water can preserve and fire to hide
Water when acting to decide, to melt the world and overrun the sea
As can it be
That fire wipes away what little remains of truth
Water can Indeed keep against the lengths of time.
But stay clear of too much water dear
For as much as you fear the fire, you may faultier
Would you rather burn or drown
I think I have still yet to decide what better plight to descend from the sky
Better yet to speak in tongues and wrap twisted knots inside my head
To ask such silly questions that thus only beg more questions
©Jessica Stull
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 12:29 AM UTC
Though today may be not sunny
I feel sunshine in my heart
I feel the sun and her warmth
As if only the sun gods could reach my heart today
Sending me many blessings though through small tokens and gestures from dawn of day
These clouds bear witness to how their mighty tricks and plots to scheme irony
Blocking though they may be my blessed sun from me
I see her shining freely lighting her way through the mighty fog of dismal days
©Jessica Stull
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 1:02 AM UTC
And it's been too long
Somewhere along the twisting, contorting, confining, conforming
I lost that internal rhythm that was truly mine
That hopeful march, the steady essence
It shattered
And as a gear breaks the system takes and before long the machine shakes
And it will knell and call
It's scraped, raw metal shriek is muffled by cold hands
A myriad of soothing, numbing touches
Returning its pining wails
Her name is a pallid reference in blate modern tongues
Syllables unpronounceable, the mouth cannot reach around
Save for the desperate, despondent calls
A call that wrenches the heart
Rasps the ears
And bites the soul the same
It is an ancient pull, shamed and lost in smog
She bears the burden of the stull
Chipped, fallen asunder, struggling
To be the stuffed papers, empty and promising
Pushing apart the covers of a book
Until the ringing
Ah, yes
That abrasive howl, wrenched from the wretchèd
She laughed and leapt- released her hold
And as a gear breaks the system takes and before long
The gap was sealed
And she has knelled and called
And I will cry and cry
Feb 15, 2014
Feb 15, 2014 at 8:43 PM UTC
It’s okay, I’ve closed the door
It’s okay, we don’t talk anymore
It’s fine, I’ve already walked down the line
It’s fine, the days grow warmer in my mind
I’m stronger living through it rather than wishing for it
I can’t always forgive nor can I forget, I’m not some stringed up puppet, I’ve been turned into the neglected pet
So weak I crumbled at your feet and wept from your deceit
But I’ve been saved and I’ve been freed; no longer do these chains bind me
It’s life, the way of it, the shape of it, the pain, and the pleasure of it
Calling out my name doesn’t mean I’ll come back running to you all the same
The leash I used to wear so proudly for you, has finally rotten in the decaying love I have for you
I’ve just learned to let go of you in the only way I know how to
I live beautifully through
Running and jumping freeing my heart like dandinions in the wind
I’m in love with this life that’s tragic, beautiful, and insane.
But perhaps the most amazing part is that I’ve finally found love for myself, through all my art
And I’m so happy to be living in this unexplainable and unpredictable world
I smile through my tears because I finally know I really do have friends here
And finally I truly realize that it’s me
That’s the key!
You have to love yourself before you can love and find love in this crazy world
©Jessica Stull
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 1:46 AM UTC
Its not heart that lets me down
Its mind that never shuts down
It's killing calm, peace, silence
Inside me...
Not others, disturb me
Its me, restless myself
Thoughts continuously circulating
Inside my mind...
Its not chest that makes me unrest
Its head that never dead
It's ruining stillness, serenity and a stull
Inside me...
Not others, trackless me
Its me, reckless myself
Thoughts evilly uproar
Inside my mind...
Aug 28, 2016
Aug 28, 2016 at 10:36 AM UTC
I’ve thought a little you see
And In no way am I scared of thee
I’m ready to be redefined and redefine what everything could be
I feel a dragon burning from my depths
Warming my soul for the ice ahead
Preparing this shell to be no longer a home
Like a catipilar from a cocoon
I will fly like a butterfly
But with a rage of this dragon
No home with or without
Yet stronger and mightier than a stout
A brewery of blood and wise
To help see through all who disguise
© Jessica Stull
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 7:59 PM UTC
She shall flip the tables and ignore her hearts breaking pulse “It is you who have tormented thy soul
It is you and the demons who lurk behind
Digging at my skin
Burning with pain from within
The beauty within this tragedy, is I’ve been left with the art they carried
Most terrifying of my works, almost as if they’ve been left undone
But I’ve learned, that’s no art to live on”
A deal for a seal, to steal her happiness she’ll soon feel
To fight the evil under her skin
To finally surround herself with her own friend
Ah the relief is so much thicker and sweeter than the blood she consumed from her own self, her sister, her demon of the old her, her old friend
Who lurks behind still
But listen to this fill, the evil “she” lurks behind because the new her is so much ahead, she’s cut them down, but you’re not dead!
Cause really “she” is “I” and “they” and “you” she is all those things no one knew
That evil one in the back of her head, she’s been learning to shut out that voice raging within her head because
She’s not dead!
©Jessica Stull
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 1:23 AM UTC
Weakness of the heart
Weakness of the mind,body,and soul
You’ve experienced all these things
Growing from this isn’t always so easy
But you’re learning to be stronger in your fight for sanity
“If there even really is such a thing”
Because it’s the things you let get you down, that’ll break you
Let them make you
The things that set you apart
They more so bring you together
I know you’ve had too many bad days to count
But starting now
I’m cursing them all out
To allow yourself to be destroyed by your own mind is the weakest fall and the worst lie
You are strong, and you are beautiful
You have such blessed days that mean far more than the days you may fall
Not every day will be a win
But you’ll never lose again
©Jessica Stull
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 2:01 AM UTC
What are words if not to tell the lengths of emotions
To reach far from the horizons of dried tears
Swim past the seas of breaking hearts so to speak
You’ll soon forget that life is like a tree, a leaf
You grow around your wounds, not like a dog
Who licks and cry’s, eyes set to seek out pity
Far from pride, is where we hide, we stand tall
With roots planted firmly below
What is words, to speak, to harm, to love, to understand
Words of a tree that give life without cause to end
This is what I seek to adhere to in the end
© Jessica Stull
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 11:20 PM UTC