"seratonin" poems
You are the systole to the diastole
Of my four-chambered cavity
You are the pulmonary rhythmic control
That fills air to my capillary.
You are the Pituitary Gland
That drowns my bloodstream in dopamine
You take my brain to a wonderland
Drunk and overdosed in Seratonin.
You are the only Mitochondrion
That powers all cellular activity
My Cytoplasms are in motion
For the sexiest Golgi Body.
You are the ultimate synapse
In my every granule of neuron
That gives an involuntary prolapse
To both my dendrite and axon.
Aug 10, 2013
Aug 10, 2013 at 9:27 AM UTC
whats the point of those chemicals
the ones that make me flirty
and giggly
and easy
what's the point of the regret
that makes me groan the next day
and sleep for hours
and sad
i guess those chemicals make you pretty happy
Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 8:07 PM UTC
I'm listening to Chance the Rapper
And there's some whimsy in these veins
Some
Give me a weeken' of sleepin'
I think I can come around after that
Hashtags
Yolos
Swags
Take a tire iron to the side of my face
My mind's lost its wheels
All I want to do is **********
Just to feel
******* to self-sabotage
Explosions of regret
And possible highs
of Seratonin and Dopamine
Let's get high
It's weird
When I was a kid
My goal was to make everyone
Stop smoking
Seeing that white puff
Trail from the mouths of adults
All I wanted was for them to realize what they were doing
The un-healthy choices they were making
And now
all I think about
Is buying a pack
Just to cut the
Edge off of
whate'er
the ****
I'm feeling
Keyholed poet
See what I did there?
It was an on-purpose accident
Am I really meant for priesthood?
Is that something that's in my life?
I mean, what, 4+ years solo?
Dates in between,
and ladies, thank you
For the times where you remind me
I'm worth a ****
Or an hour of your time.
But for the most part, I'm solo
My mom, God Bless her, has been single
Dates in between
For 7+ years
Maybe I'll catch up.
Maybe I'll outpace her
She sent me her will the other day
You're looking at the guy in charge of her life
Should she be unable to make decisions.
Well, I guess you're not looking
You're reading, some half-assed-therapy foreplay
Ladies, love me, I'm a weird, depressing sack of ****
Aww, poor baby
Maybe
Pick yourself up off the fuckin' floor and make something of yourself
God willing, there's something
I just gotta put on some different
Lenses
These are getting dark
Maybe I need to drop off the map
And find a cleaner
Do they have those for rose lenses?
May 2, 2013
May 2, 2013 at 7:43 PM UTC
I have never snorted
or smoked
or stung skin
with the explicit
substances of this earth
But I have heard that when
a human being goes from
first ****** experience to
aching addiction
Their brains have been
flooded
with seratonin
to such a devestating
degree
that they can no longer
enjoy organic bliss
scent
taste
touch
melody
What I want to know
Is if this is what happened to me
because of you
Feb 12, 2013
Feb 12, 2013 at 2:33 AM UTC
I love OD'ing on sunlight when I wake up
grab some OJ and go lay in the soft grass, and tell the birds to carry on
their light conversations and noisy chitchat above my closed eyes
open head - delve into me
the grass probably itches if I pay attention, but who cares
I can't restrain my limbs any longer
no more hanging in limbo with excuse of pain and no gain
I can't remember why I'm naked but
I always feel naked around you
I've always been naked under these clothes
My brain is dashing ahead, though I stop and gaze inward and upward
The trees could be mocking me, but they're probably just as happy to be themselves as I am
so I follow suit and reach up to ask for mutual attraction from the sky
and we start a new day
time to function
back to the grind
my gears shift and the grey leaks back into my veins
time to function
(but once you've overdosed on daylight, you're never the same)
Nov 3, 2014
Nov 3, 2014 at 12:37 PM UTC
Dopamine,
C8H11NO2
+
Seratonin,
C10H12N2O
+
Oxytocin,
C43H66N12O12S2
=
Love.
N.H.
Nov 20, 2013
Nov 20, 2013 at 6:44 AM UTC
I could explain to you the exact process by which my Brain craves something more,
It begs for Dopamine, Seratonin and other such delicious chemicals,
It gives me sunshine, when the rain pours through the crack in my window,
I gives me happiness, when my psyche wanders to it's bad old ways.
Is there more to life than the things we perceive with our primitive organs?
I'm not so sure.
So i fill my bloodstream with these potions that make me see beautiful things,
So i fill my lungs with the acrid taste of fantasy,
So i fill my veins with hope, and dreams of when i was happy,
So i fill my head with the notion that i can stop whenever i want,
And deprive my Brain of this reality, in the hope it will give me something more appealing.
A wise man once said, that only a life lived for others is worth living,
And so i find myself worthless, bathed in glorious hedonism,
Alone in my palace of dreams.
Oct 31, 2012
Oct 31, 2012 at 8:42 PM UTC
I*nteresting idea but probably not realistic
N*ot going to speak this out loud
F*act is, they will probably think I’m crazy
A* strange wanting to be nearer
T*ime to deep dive and reflect on this
U*nclear from the chemicals dopamine, seratonin, & norepinephrine
A*nnoying really, especially because it’s not convenient
T*ruly wanting to know what they feel
I*gnorant to the signs
O*nly person that seems to “get me”
Nearly at my wits end but smitten
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 9, 2019 at 7:11 AM UTC
The pills
**** my creativity
when the seratonin flows
the poetic juices run dry
Sep 25, 2021
Sep 25, 2021 at 10:16 PM UTC
Warm and fuzziness is the feeling I crave
That feeling that everything is OK, with me, the world,
the sun is shining, I'm out of that dank cave
And there's one way to get it, even though I know even though I've been told
through science I know, there are really two ways
Science isn't poetic, but it explains and you can understand it
Doesn't change much of anything in how you feel as you go along
I feel like I'm living through a ****** Kesha song
and that is sad and just plain wrong
Men. They can give me, that seratonin high
And there's nothing better, although I've looked well nigh
everywhere and run down train tracks, into seedy bars,
took those pills in plastic bags and ***** jars,
it always comes back to that one elusive feeling
that floating, I am attractive, enough and everything will be just fine
And I'd drink a case of wine
except I know it wouldn't take me there,
just make me sick, and lie around making a rat's nest of my hair
It makes me seem desperate
For the guy who is experiencing me and it
I don't even have to like him
He just has to turn a kind eye and off I go
That's how I entangled with my X I know
I didn't even like him much, but off I went
and ended up married under one of those Jewish tents
So one call and I'm high
And then an hour later it's over and I'm low
There is only one thing I know
I must take the sage advice
that I've paid a high price
for
and that is: this feeling, to myself I can give
and if I learn that I won't feel like this
I can, anyone can, renew from the inside out
I don't have to walk around in helpless doubt
But it's the hardest thing in the world
harder than the butterfly stroke
that I'd never tried to learn
I wish there were drugs in some ancient urn
and I'd walk a thousand miles on my knees
until they were bloodied
to plunge my hand in and consume that thing
or I wish at least I had some book
that could teach me how to get there, or at least how it would look
Just be here, science says, that's all it does. It's not enough.
Dec 30, 2012
Dec 30, 2012 at 7:56 PM UTC
why is every poem about drowning?
crashing, falling, dissolving
why is everyone drowning?
an entire generation
pulled in by the tides of mental illness
why do we all hate ourselves?
was it the way we were raised?
or are we proof
that the theory of evolution is false
if survival of the fittest is true
then why do so many of us want to die?
a generation of sad
sad kids
betrayed by the chemicals
in their own brains
drowning
crying out
for seratonin
Mar 2, 2018
Mar 2, 2018 at 12:55 PM UTC
If it were easier to be proud,
I might be.
But positivity doesn't often
ring in me.
I have shined for so many years,
making proclamations of my thoughts and fears,
relentlessly opening my heart,
my doors,
my mind.
Only to be crushed a dozen times.
And maybe it is beautiful that I keep trying.
But it doesn't feel that way on the
inside.
It is like
harboring a monster in me,
and hoping one day someone could
love it.
I can smile in so many ******* directions and it has
never
fixed the beast.
And it eats and feasts on
feelings.
I believe my neurons and nerve endings,
and my seratonin and dopamine,
have all been over-
compensating.
For fear of losing it all to this
thing
in me.
It's been there since I was about
13,
and I thought it had stopped
growing.
Long dormant,
but now returning from
submission.
Moving from feelings and making bigger decisions.
I fear he is now eating
me.
Some sickness from the inside out,
beginning with my sense of doubt.
And lack of fulfillment
and stupid ambitions.
And all of the things I have tried to keep hidden.
He is tearing holes in the very foundation
of this ******* facade I've been constantly faking
for something like 5 years
now.
All my best kept secrets are leaking through the cracks,
leaving people feeling like they're
sorry they asked.
He will go for my bones, and then my skin,
after devouring the flesh within
until there's
nothing
left of me.
I have been piles before.
Crumbled, bumbling,
cautiously fumbling for
doors or
floors
or lightswitches.
Chased into beds with sheets
far less than neat,
he's been following me for
some time now.
And I keep thinking I can write him out.
But the feeling never sticks around.
And the words will cease to make me proud.
It comes back.
Like clockwork.
Year after year,
cold after cold,
he is there.
Somewhere in me.
Eating steadily, slowly.
Savoring the taste of my suffering.
Depleting my positivity,
and filling it with other things.
And what I have been wondering
is if I can somehow make it leave
and allow what's left of me to breathe,
one day will it be easy
to be
proud?
Nov 27, 2013
Nov 27, 2013 at 2:41 AM UTC
You make me feel like this is more than a "more than," a "less than," an "equal to."
More than infinity, a vector, a scalar. A page-fifty-seven-numbers-one-three-and-twenty-two. More than "x" approaching it's limit. More than a dopamine, seratonin, oxycotin cocktail.
I'm a little drunk and I love you.
You're worrying and I love you.
You're overthinking the unthinkable and rationalizing the irrational and I love you.
You're crying into my existence and I love you
You're spinning in circles on the second time we hung out and * holy mother ******* God-playing-hide-and-seek, I love you.*
You make me feel like Moses parting seas and leading all of my dreams across to a Holy Ground.
Like a supernova explosion and you're my black hole.
Pulling
me
in.
Pillow talk of original sin.
You remind me of documentaries : curl up on the couch and spend the day away in blankets and still not have wasted a **** minute.
I love you more than words can know, and when I told you that, you held me tighter.
My head feels heavier but my heart a lot lighter.
I feel lucky to know you, let alone love and be loved by you. I don't believe in miracles but I believe you are a blessing.
I hopped to the edge of my bed and found the Atlantic Ocean staring me down
You haven't even gone, yet I still find myself counting down the days until you return.
Feb 14, 2013
Feb 14, 2013 at 3:00 AM UTC
You cause my veins to overflow
You help my brain to work and grow
My bloodstream to fill with dopamine
You keep me alert and lean
You help to keep me stable
Like walking on a thick cable
You pump my mood with Seratonin
Without you I feel alone and there's nothing I can do
You help me feel the pain in life
A skinned knee or sharp drawn knife
You make my world continue forward
Without you there's disorder
You make me cry
Without knowing why
You're the reason I feel love
Attraction to the person I think of
You reside in a small portion by my brain
Most people treat you with harsh disdain
But because of you I am me
And there's no one else I'd rather be
Today, tomorrow
In time I borrow
I thank you
Pituitary
Oct 9, 2016
Oct 9, 2016 at 11:13 PM UTC
salty banana brain game
seratonin sunshine soup
neurotransmitter broth
shimmer shimmer
a neuron takin a ****
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 19, 2015 at 11:20 PM UTC
a contradictory cocktail of adrenaline and melatonin
dance lightly underneath my skin
and you move in time with
my heartbeat.
petal lips dance between my hips and
the seratonin
and dopamine
kick in
and the
oxytocin, endoprhins,
you are an aphrodisiac on legs
and oh god
oh
oh
oh
May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016 at 1:14 AM UTC
if only I were an optimist
half-full glasses and seratonin
by the masses
some days the light can blare
however today I think
I'll sit
and not care
-c.j.
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 9:39 AM UTC
Logic says to me,
"You've really gotten better!
You don't breakdown so often
You smile more."
Yeah, its the medication!
It says, "You handle things with grace
and don't fly off the handle.
You aren't so easily angered."
Yeah, its the medication!
It says, "Yeah, your emotions are foggy
but at least you aren't crazy.
I bet it's hard to feel things, but
you aren't crying all the time.
And you haven't collapsed in bed
and begged to die.
Or at least, its been a while."
Yeah, its the medication.
"Why do you have tears in your eyes
and why aren't they falling?
Does it feel like your chest is made of concrete?
Like a sneeze that hurts but it just won't happen?
Can you feel the attack waiting in the corner
leaving you with dread and adrenaline?"
Yeah, its the medication.
"Seroquel for seratonin
Buspirone to breath,
and ****** to calm down.
So what could go wrong?
Is it bad to not be able to feel
even though you know you have the right to?
And your chest feels heavy and full
like an awning with too much water
and you kind of want it to collapse
because you so badly want to remember how to cry
And the blackness you were so afraid of
seems like home
and you're homesick?"
Yeah, its the medication.
Apr 14, 2019
Apr 14, 2019 at 12:11 PM UTC
destroyer of the void
I am glass shattered sun
scattered high beams
leaping from one black hole to another
I am finding nothing but the light within my soul bent into empty caves empty caves abyss forever
keep spitting
you're mine forever
chain link and snap
seratonin is an inhibitory neurotransmitter
happiness means
less neural activity
stop thinking, brain
stop it, please
but I will know joy from suffering
so I will know bliss from despair
**** me **** me I want to feel alive
train wreck train wreck
someone
pull me out of the
hole of *** the
hole of gender the
hole of identity
it is raining
my words drip along with the raindrops as the sides of this meatbucket crumple inward
plastics melting and
canvas fibres disconnected
i am frayed eye lash
eye lash pull scream and
eyes twisted in shapes unseen
body convulse and and convulse in
I'm confused why am I here
take me away from
this body
this now
losing my eyes would help everyone else
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 19, 2015 at 11:21 PM UTC
I'm trying not to become
Co-dependent
On someone
Someone I like a lot
Who brings solace to my fears
When they choose to talk
And I'm trying to appear sane
If only on the surface
To not throw my fondness away
For said person
By expressing it too often
Cause in the static of my mind
Time moved in heartbeats and
In solitary reflection I find
I've found a semblance of what
I seek
It's true I could die today
With a flashback of your voice
So I'm hoping that you'll stay
Because I'm still awake
I couldn't find it in art
Small-talk or T.V
No words seem to explain
This sensation that's posessed me
You think I'm a wreck because
I'm young and
Glorifying your face
But the truth is that I'm numb
When a cold wind replaces
Your embrace
You see romance never wanted me
Affection left me alone
All I knew were scissors to
Snip petals off of roses
And pills of all shapes and sizes
To keep my mind off of the
Affirmation
Believing I was fated to
Constant suffering in silences
My shiny new rational is this:
Life's too short to never fall
In love and life was meant for
Just two to amass a
Treasure trove
I'm trying to stay myself
And share my completeness
With the one
I'm trying to remain intact
When all is said and done
But that's only theory
I can't build a house on
The foundations more like water
That consumes the cement and
Stone
So I'm a little bit dramatic
I know what you're thinking
But who are you to tell me
That my therapy's not working?
Feb 20, 2016
Feb 20, 2016 at 11:43 PM UTC
"I sipped on your serotonin lips
like they were made to satiate my thirst
for a liquid i had only once drunk before
my palms like magnets to the moons crescent smiling down your face
my eyes sleep at the sight of stars hanging under my eyes
blue skies underline my waist
clouds of grey hang from my lashes
the blood of autumn covers my face in the night as i wake to another set of blue skies, divided, divine and heavy, opening portals of purple and green inside my skin
still sipping your serotonin lips, now serotonin arms and feet, do i dare fleet?
i change into the sky I watch, the dust on the street, the leaves i breathe, we look alike."
Jan 19, 2017
Jan 19, 2017 at 7:03 AM UTC
I ate away the ****
I ate away the abuse.
I ate away the depression.
I tried eating away the pain.
But now I can't keep eating.
Because of the words that you threw around like it was nothing.
Fat. Disgusting. Ugly.
I'm not sad and beautiful.
Like the girls you write the stories about.
Because my self harm was my comfort food.
The way your self harm was the lack of food.
I punished my body everytime I climbed stairs.
And I knew I deserved it.
Except now at my lowest,
I can't afford a salad.
Or a donut to find the seratonin that I crave.
And the only thing I want to eat now
Is a bullet.
Feb 8, 2019
Feb 8, 2019 at 1:00 AM UTC
Our chemistry is like a beautiful glass of richly red wine.
Taken in by slow sips in order to be thoroughly enjoyed.
Chock full of dopamine, seratonin, and endorphins.
And you want more, you want so much more because
the liquid slips down your throat in a way you've never experienced before. But it is an enlightening experience
Enlightening to the point of toxic. Toxic because it is alcohol and too much of one thing is a bad thing.
But it is deliciously addictive and you start to feel your body slip into an unconscious state.
You remain in this euphoric state with your heart racing and your soul ready to jump out of you, but your mind sticks like glue.
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 28, 2018 at 7:31 PM UTC
They can make the chemicals for love in a lab. I know. I’m sick of hearing how unspecial it is that I exist alive with passion.
Listen. The world around me is howling and the moon is sick with our worries. We are all in a flood that wants us to sink without screaming. There is nothing in my pocket but debt and shadows and the teeth that have been knocked out of me. There is nothing in my future but cubicles and temp agencies.
Let us have love. This generation is dying. We are sweating out the innocence we were supposed to grow up in. We are all stumbling around with our hearts pounding in desperate fire alarms. We are all smothered. Let us have love.
Let us love each other wildly with our pictures of girls laughing in the passenger seat. Let us hold onto the images of our friends on the beach with sandy knees, of bonfires, of blurry drunken singing, of stopping for shakes and slurping them over bridges, of a shy look over one shoulder, of the sun setting, of selfies that show: I’m alive right now. I’m happy. Let us keep that. Let us keep proof that we are happy.
Love can be made in a lab. “Let that sink in,” he tells me. I say, “I knew that already.” So can basically anything. I want to stop questioning myself. I want to love so wide it breaks your measuring systems. I want to love her until she shakes, I want to touch him until it breaks me. I want to stop the cynics in their tracks. Everything is already so sad.
Can’t you see? Science doesn’t make this boring. Science makes this amazing. Everything that’s dancing in my head when I think of the people I love - it’s so real that they can read it in chemistry. It’s not just fantasy. It means I feel it to the very cells of me.
Let us have love. Let us have our dopamine, our seratonin, our oxytocin. We are surrounded by poison. Give us our delicate balance. Give us something we can believe.
”
— Love is scientifically explainable. That doesn’t mean it’s not amazing
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 5:02 PM UTC
Yesterday I was your shining star
Today to you I'm nothing
Yesterday you smiled at me ear to ear
I felt so honored, to have you near
I was overcome by that seratonin fix
Today I went around in a deficit
I called another one of you last night
He's the one I used to live for
And honestly, I just can't get my fix from him anymore
Tomorrow maybe you'll look upon me kindly
Or not, whatever suits you nicely
It's clear it doesn't matter much to you
What exactly that I do
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 9:12 PM UTC