"instable" poems
Published in The Quill on November 19, 2014:
http://www.amazon.com/Quill-Fall-2014-ebook/dp/B00PNVT6PG
...
On being overweight (whatever that means)
Even if you were the moon, they would complain about how much space you took up in the sky, how you were too bright, wanted too much from the stars, demanded more light than the others.
And when you shifted, from waning to full to waxing to waning, they would remind you of how instable you were, how much of a hassle it was to keep track of your instability, your need for attention. Have you tried to be a vegan yet? All the stars are doing it.
You have tried. In fact, last week was your third try – an attempt, they call it – not enough, they emphasize, try again, they say this as if it is encouragement.
That’s when you found them - the celestial crescent, the earthshine, the perilune, how the lacus are lakes without lakes, why the Gibbous is brighter either way, especially during conjunction – all strung together in pearls.
You are a full the night you return.
As you reflect off the lake, you see Selene, Hecate, Mani, Tsukuyomi, Iah, and Thoth. You tell the stars to look, to breathe your reflection, to succumb to the glow and the beauty of it all, that you are not alone—
They laugh.
Say how historical that is, how out-of-touch you are, how myths aren’t mirrors, how you - you are not a mystery at all.
But when you died – if you died – (we still do not know) - they do not wonder where you went. They spin, spin, spin the entire night home, only once confessing to how empty the sky is without your shine.
But every night they burn.
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 4:03 PM UTC
Spacing out, allowing my mind to wander far, far off,
Into the distance, into a dream out of reach, my personal heaven,
A distorted world where meaning has no meaning and time stands still, space is instable and the melancholy of lonesomeness prevails,
Clouds, everlasting, ever orbiting floating islands and upside down waterfalls, yet I cannot share this pleasure with anyone, I'm alone,
If I were to believe I could fly, I would be free.
Not bound by physics dragging me down, not bound by gravity,
I keep this place dear to me, for it is a world made for escape,
Only if I could lose myself in the fragnance of this dimension,
My poor body calls my soul back to where it thinks it belongs,
The dream of pleasure, with a carefree attitude is burning away,
Reality is cruel and dark, with no comfort a place with no heart,
But certainly I can hope with all my might even though weak,
That this place I am carried to when my mind is giving away my soul,
Will take me in forever one day, so I won't have to wake up.
After all, I don't have to die in a dream..
~ Umi
Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 5:29 PM UTC
I'm on Urge;
Do not Judge;
I love Fudge;
With all my Grudge;
~
Like Such;
Wanted so Much;
But i was Clutch;
Ate on a Brunch;
~
On a Saturday;
Like in May;
Let me Say;
Was in Clay...;
~
It was Good;
Like my Mood;
That i Could;
Send a ****
~
And in Despair;
I had a Flair;
But to be Fair;
I didn't Care;
--------
I'm Lost;
What's the Cost?;
I got Exhaust;
By the Frost;
~
I've Failed;
Got Jailed;
It Scaled;
Blackmailed...;
~
They're Blind;
Can't Find;
And Bind;
Got no Mind;
~
Left a Mark;
In the Dark;
Like a Quark;
Instable as a Shark;
~
In this Blend;
I Attend;
She my Friend;
Brings the END.
Oct 1, 2018
Oct 1, 2018 at 7:13 PM UTC
The outer heart is dense
Made for nothing but defense
But every now and then, something pierces
But when it’s repairing the damage done
What of that which overcomes
It is constantly breaking through, creating lesions
So little the reparations mend
What little alive left to tend
When the tissue is dead and sordidly forgotten
Death will come from all that it's abandoned
Heartbeats constant yet instable
Will bring anyone down to their knees
Heartbeats that become unable
To liberate, only condemned to defeat
The outer heart shall rot and expose
What once was too precious to behold
Is now fighting until its last breath
Ill-prepared and defenseless still
Oft fueled by only pure will
Through all the abuse that the inner heart will suffer
None worse than sabotage by the love of another
Heartbeats lapsed, confused and fleeting
Destroyed after all it had found
Heartbeats faint, profuse bleeding
Drowning in pools on the ground
© 2015 Neal Emanuelson
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 26, 2015 at 8:01 PM UTC
Burned lips, charcoal lungs prowling for a breath.
Death wags its tail smells for a flesh to sink its teeth into.
Mortal man;
Entangled in the sweet web of addiction. Caught in a suicidal company. Yet, never strayed.
Something beats within my frame. A rotten heart. Shallow, but it evokes pain.
Eyes dimmed by apathy. My bleeding wrist soaked the canvas in red.
Instable mind,
Infected void,
A vulnerable body which greets the morning with a fever. Between the fingers holding a brand new
*** subsides the itching.
Mediocre,
Lacking lustre,
Pushing pain into poetry and prose. Subconsciously, I, emulate the old dogs and the papery white
moon smirks at my endeavour.
With a razor,
With a rope,
I, tried to bid this poet a farewell. But, he never departed.
Madness off the leash,
Broken tiles of dreams pave the floor. Not the stars.
But,
Hung bodies crowded the sky.
I'm a cheat, a thief.
Sadness in a vessel. A dying light in the night and what made you think you could save me?
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 29, 2018 at 1:23 PM UTC
Your hunger grows
a flame fanned
by desire
An instable voice
in your head
No sleep ,restless
Never present
running to stay a few
steps ahead
The more you see,you know
the praise is cheap
it doesn't translate
But now you've begun
they're watching
Prove it ! Prove it!
Mar 11, 2019
Mar 11, 2019 at 6:41 AM UTC
Perspective constantly changes when
you jump. The end pose makes your
view a little rusty. You cannot change
your final vision. I want to keep jumping.
Forever, never be a solid stone or dry
scraped wood. Wind makes me feel chilly,
I get shivers because of rustling leaves.
People call it fear of failing, my mind, downscaling.
But then I see a person, empty as it seems
not constantly thrilled by massive gleams.
I envy those who can control, those with
purpose and a whole different point of view.
Be my supplement, fulfill my instable needs,
enlarge my passion with such might, so I
don't need to learn control. My failure feeds
on insecurity. Stop my jumping, make me fly.
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 5, 2014 at 5:01 PM UTC
Every time when the Loneliness' twisting your soul
with her dark icy blade, my beloved,
think of me, of my eyes, of my voice and my call.
Do you know?, I am millions centuries old,
many thousands of miles far away,
but in your heart true love's melting tenderly all
dimensions, all times and all spaces.
We will meet where the Sun is caressing thin flowers,
in the deep of the forest who still loves the wind.
On the shores of the Lost land from many forgotten
you'll be dew on the leaves, I'll be clear mountain spring.
Just don't fear the storms, they are deeply instable,
they are feeding with darkness, you are child of the stars.
Take a spark of my love, light a candle and maybe
we will pass through the Gates, reunited in One.
Jun 13, 2016
Jun 13, 2016 at 5:32 AM UTC
La vie est un bateau
Qui ne doit pas couler
Mais qui ne peut voler
Flottant sur l’eau
Sur une jolie toile
Il avance tranquillement
Grâce à la voile
Et au vent changeant
Mais parfois ça devient rugueux
Et l’équilibre devient instable
Et les vagues sont grandes
Et le bateau ne peut pas supporter la tempête
Il s’enfonce profondément,
Plus profond, encore plus
Et au fond
Le bateau est oublié
Mais pourquoi ? Pourquoi le bateau a-t-il été oublié ?
Parce qu’il n’y avait personne qui l’attendait.
Il a erré dans le monde
À la recherche de quelqu’un qui l’accepterait
Personne ne l’a vu pour qui il était
Mais c’est ainsi que la vie est parfois
Et ainsi, à jamais le bateau doit reposer
Sur le fond de l’océan.
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 6:19 PM UTC
The boy in me weeps,
Because you made a man.
Where is the simple hope
Of a bipolar beauty,
Failingntje hopeless hope,
Defiant of time the rejection
Of God in your goodbye,
I feel a martyr though
Having known you and sacrificing my stainless heart.
Your emptiness
Is a blank page and I feel
Like I have writers block,
And in the correlation
We become the dust of words
Unspoken,
In the silence in the sea
Waves crash on
Each other,
Setting sail the art of your
Self,
Walk away woman
The only way I know you were ever here
Because the sunsets over
The empty oceans only
Exist is the word of the
Unspoken,
Whispers of a presence,
The instable beauty you
Cursed me to love.
Oct 29, 2017
Oct 29, 2017 at 9:42 PM UTC