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Kara Jean Oct 2016
I'm learning
Learning to be human
To color in the lines
To not be my emotional centered self
To be like the rest
No multy colored leggings
No braids in the middle of my head
No me
No you
Plain blue jeans

To bad...

I'm failing.....

No one seems to be able to change my crazy

I sit still in anticipation of another try

Still....

I sit with a satisfied mind of who I am meant to be

Instability

It helps me sleep at night

I am a mess

It will be my accomplishment if today ends
A furious typhoon
slipped through the heavens.

The unraveling of time is a linear process,
Prediction is not.
Dynamic instability in the system
caused by the chaotic theory of thought.

Lost in dissociation,
We see the lines
that transcend time.

Infinity:
I can't give it up,
Because it's not enough.

2-CB typhoon run amok.
Quote:
Lines Eleven and Twelve from Infinity by The **
Indigo Dream Oct 2018
He is a cancer that slowly creeps in
taking and invading all that is good,
all that’s left inside

He shoves his rot deep down into my core
bleeding into me
but oh do I want it

I kneel at his feet to
confess my sins
He grants me his dispensation

This is no sacrifice
this is a surrender
done as a penance unto him

I am diseased
I am afflicted
I know he is here to stay....
Hesitant Alien Sep 2016
"I'm not really into hookups actually."

"Hook ups as in a one time thing or just casually?"

"as in, I'm very emotionally detached from people already so I could never see myself making the decision to hook up with someone seeing as these kind of situations could lead to me falling in love and love leads to emotional instability which I already deal with, but at a higher level that I am not quite ready for at this moment in my life. Also I'm pretty sure I'm asexual."

"oh that's chill."
T May 2018
I won’t forget the way you shared your bed with her while I carried your child in my womb
I won’t forget the way you bulldozed my grace and love just because I would rebloom
I won’t forget the way you left me standing in the streets of Montreal—the reckless, frigid free-for-all
I won’t forget our heart-to-hearts, fall-aparts, fresh-starts
I won’t forget our once shared-dreams, fire-water color schemes; tip-toeing, balance-beams
I won’t forget your lack of self-acceptance; your fear, resistance, dependence
I won’t forget the way you disguise your loneliness; insecurity, disappointment—
your selfishness; inconsistency, vacant empathy
I won’t forget your impatience; porcelain ego, complacence
I won’t forget the way you’d kiss my feet; plead for forgiveness; make promises, repeat
I won’t forget an honest memory of you—instability, volatility
But I will only ever wish you depth, perspective, and humility
Power on. Static. Ext.
Tune in to to receive.
Give  your brain a wash.

Channel 3
-You feel calm.
You are completely normal.
Drink up.
A glass a day keeps the thoughts at bay.-
Nevermind that,
What else is on?

Channel 7
-Capitalism vs. communism, in for consumerism!
Nationalism vs. terrorism, all about freedom!
So much conflict, so little meaning;
People say justice/liberty,
They mean retribution/security.-

Channel 11
-Today in the news,
Continuing strife . . .-
News implies new,
Get a life.

Channel 42
-Who decides what you watch?
Not the actors nor anchors,
They just do their job.
They read the lines
but who tells them when to stop?
It's difficult to figure history out,
To sort the patriotic memorabilia
from what events have past.
Do we just lap it up?
I'd like to think not
but what we're been raised on
is hard to shrug.
Mind is malleable.
Ask yourself,
What's this life?-
Something's wrong.
Network instability

Connection lost.
. . . . . . .
The matrix has you
. . . . . . .
Connection reestablished.

Channel ∞
-What is life?
If you had to choose-
switch
-between knowledge-
flickers
-and a good time,-
glitching
-Which would you choose?-
red pill vs. blue pill
-Would it be right?-
receive and
-"Remember,
All I'm offering is the truth.
Nothing more."-
administer.

Input/output carrier signal disruption.
Static. Zero.
Wake up.
Quote:
-Lines Fifty-Seven and Fifty-Eight delivered by Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) in The Matrix
typhany Oct 2013
emotions take shifts in my soul
and sadness likes to work
9[0] hour weeks
singing soft somethings
and harboring instability.

sadness creeps in
with little cat feet,
shedding his fur
matted with misery,
leaving self-destructive thoughts
as he tip-toes along,
and then crashes
all at once
but lands on four feet,
and comes back again
for his 9[0] hour weeks
Lizzy Jul 2016
i swallowed my fear,
ignored my sadness,
laughed off my self loathing,
and danced on the edges of my instability.

now I'm sick to my stomach
with a growing tremble that demands
I pay attention.
my jokes have gotten old
and i can no longer pretend
i don't have two left feet.

i've been traversing this landscape
with my eyes closed,
and so far my steps have been lucky.
so lucky, to any onlooker
it might seem I can see just fine.

finally the reality of the situation
has found its way to my heart
and my hands.
i'm wandering alone,
bare to elements
and completely blind.

the late onset of my panic
could be a product of shock.
i've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off
for the past three months.

for three months i've been
burying any negative feeling
or thought
deep inside this decaptitated body of mine.

but holy hell,
i'm bleeding out
and the shock has worn off.
my eyes are open to vastness
that is unfolding in front of me,
and i'm still just as lost.
I'm sorry my titles are so stupid
Zane Sep 2016
you boarded my ship when it was sinking so fast
i was so very certain you'd drown with it.
time passes
and i find my vessel mended more and more each day

i've been taught most of my life
to fear stability;
for it seemed as if instability, however dangerous
was more desirable that fleeting stability

but now that i find the earthquakes have begun
to decrease in intensity
ever so slowly

i am still left to ask
is this forever?
have i found that which i've been longing for ages to find?

it terrifies me so, but fills me with what i can only surmise is that which i dreamt about as a child

security. home. a chance at peace.

i wake from sleep, to remember dreams of our adventures
i wake from sleep, to be for, if only once, hopeful about the future
i wake from sleep, to know that i find solace in another
i wake from sleep, to that i am loved, as much as i love

i wake from sleep, to know that one day, when the storms have subsided, you will be there, holding my hand, as I walk up the final hill of my lifelong struggle.
Dan Filcek Apr 2017
a lasting attraction may result from opposites,
or through sharing
strength varies considerably;
In general, strong bonding is associated with sharing
attraction may be seen as the result of different behaviors
Although these behaviors merge into each other seamlessly
so that there is no clear line to be drawn between them,
the behaviors become different
as the character of the bond changes quantitatively,
In the simplest view
the space between comes not from
the reduction in attraction of the two    
Instead, the reduction and hence instability  arises from the reduction in energy
These bonds exist between two        
and have a direction in space,
allowing them to be shown as connecting lines  
If one or more  are unequally shared  
Bond results are often much weaker
the bonds that hold together must cease
If the structures that result are not both strong and tough,
In a simplified view the bonding is not shared at all,
In this type of bond,
one has a vacancy which allows the addition of more
These newly added potentially occupy a lower state
than they experience in a different  
more tightly bound position
Not being part of any given bonding may be seen as extreme
a large system of bonds is ideal
This type of bonding is often very strong
more collective in nature than other types,
and so they more easily reform,
This results in malleability  
This bonding reaches far,
stressing the character of the combining  power,
and cannot be said to belong to anyone exclusively.
containing more than one    
Sometimes, the possibility
of bond formation is completely neglected.
It is thus no longer possible to associate
This is a situation when the bonds are broken
They continue to be attracted to each other,
with a significant  luster
But are repulsed by each other.
National Poetry Month 2017 - source https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemical_bond
paintedecho Jan 17
systems overflowing
theres another breakdown
nothing seems to be working
restart, restart, restart




but i can’t
i’m sinking in my own solitude
smiles hurt me more than words
grey clouds sink abysmally
over my vessel
it’s decayed, useless
throw it away
i’m done.
‘hope is a dangerous thing for someone with my past’ so i don’t have any.
Omni Winters May 5
I haven't been writing too often, but that is a good thing.
Sometimes, writing less is good because it means less mental instability.
Ivan Brooks Sr Jan 2018
The world's on fire, peace is extinct
Look how fragile peaceful minds can get
All hostile minds are having a ball right now.
It's like peace got embellished in chaos.
Where's peace at, what happened to her?
Regional, global local, peace is in short supply.
This is the renaissance of a new world order
Where partial peace coexists with total chaos
People only search Google for mostly facts
Not for solutions to some distorted peace

What is peace then, how can it be?
Just a routine rhetorical question
Coming from the disturbed mind in me
Listen, One-minute partial peace
Bang, another minute total chaos!
Nowadays, Instability everywhere is commonplace
As unscripted hate rhetoric freely echos,
From jihadic podiums to confused minds.
The conspicuous birthplace of premeditated evil.
The mind, soft spots of those totally confused
Call it the hotspots and playground for the devil.
I, the skeptic, to say the very least,
See this quiet storm as a distorted peace!

twitter @ivaclappers
Peace is going extinct ..
Yanamari Aug 5
Push
And there's a
Pull
A smile
After you
Cry
Tears
Always evaporating, cheeks
Dry

Gaze
Unreturned
Conversations
Undiscerned
Value
Unlea­rned
Forgotten



A yell,

No turn
Words churned
In the instability
I am floating in
Unable to earn
The desires that I
Yearn
Locked in my frozen
Urn


Floating in
Uncontrollable colour changing tar
The one thing I expected
To remain constant
Was the lack of equilibrium
And I .... Why is it you're looking...
Looking at me?
Pers Ref: WA 2Aug (Butter). Is it really the beginning of equilibration?
Jen Sep 2018
Untamed and Unfolding
Invisibly,
Hidden with false smiles.

Unrevealed,
So much concealed,
And that isn’t how it should
Be.

WARNING SIGN.
SAVE YOURSELF.
RUN.

No one on the outside
Ever knew what
Was hidden beneath.

ALL IS SUNNY
ON THE EXTERIOR
OF A WHITE WOODEN FENCE.

Rain poured continuously,
BEHIND THE CAGE.

Is this the life you want?

ASK YOURSELF.
I DID.

Instability lingering like a wet sleeve,
No rain coat could ever repel…so you just grieve.

Sitting in the dark,
Feeling, breathing…
To be real.
Are we ever?

SCORNED FOR FEELING.
EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING,
BREATHING.

NO LONGER,
Felt like a human being.

Cracked eggshells line
A spotless floor.

Just me in the stillness,
Always.

When do you really find
What so many others
Seem to hold near?

This is the only place
To truly just let go
And be…
Releasing in poetry.

Love it when
The rain pours
In the middle of the night,
Used to walk on wet concrete
In the dark of night,
Looking up at stars
On an all-to-clear night.

You were there,
But I always felt alone.

Watched the house lights of
The place we shared…
In the distance
As you continued your passions
For hours,
Didn’t look up once-
Notice that I walked
Out the front door
Right next to you.
Did you forget that
Something was missing?

Just me.

A PERSON.
MADE INTO A THING.
As you played the
Good guy,
With lies told to friends and family
As I sat silently
Trying not let it affect me.

The funny thing is,
It didn’t shake me
When it ended.

I FELT AND FEEL
NOTHING.
NO SADNESS.

FREE.
SIX sleepless months
Where I feared
You would find me.

Now, I try to tell myself
That not every man
Is like you…
That is the only
Sadness I feel.
This poem is basically a reflection of a toxic relationship I was in for 8 years.  Real feelings released...
Angela Liyanto Oct 2018
During the pensive seasons of Spring,
I felt rotten, as if a puck of ghouls
splashed their bitten sheets on me…
Sometimes, if my mind is playing tricks,

The piercing pink heaven will sing
Of honey anti-love that bites the
Soft drumming of jelly like me,
Who dance in the waves of instability.

My imaginary friends will scream on anchored sailboats
Coming back, shouting, "There! From the distance,
we travelled with Trouble up our shirt-sleeves,
And notice, they are quite unlike any other…”

I welcome them, the fairy-tale stray-people
The deluded and lonely, what are they doing here?
We only sleep when the sun stops, but curse Beauty! I say
That sun, what embers brighten your linear touch?

What heroes can beseech the crown of Love?
We bring them to the centres of the earth,
But there it’s empty, there spring wed-diamonds folds the earth
And silhouettes dance on our naked-land bodies.

I know what bitterness I hold inside me, so I crawl  
Inside corruption, let myself choke,
into my comfortable dwellings of my modard youth,
It is sad to hate it. Let the men **** on my shame,

Let me highlight mortality in a word
That death near touched me through a veil,
With a bicker finger-point to my delirium-brain
That death seems a golden merriment, except

In night-time I will continue to rot,
In angst, in mourning, in hell’s sweet wit
That I will soon die than have perfection kiss me
With a bow, I wish to leave, it’s time to turn to Love

I told them instead to set these verses, &
Sing all they want, to the azure chorus of Spring
And to keep recklessness in your pocket,
We are lucky, to have Love bleed under our skin.
Part 1 of a Cantos of hallucinatory experiences and journeys with my fantasies and reality.
Katie Jul 30
There once was a little girl
Fair skin
Dark eyes
Long locks the color of maple branches

She lived in a caravan
Travelers
Blood but never family
Day after day they went
Forgetting her places
Blaming her for their lack of success
Outcast
Not like them
Cramped and sore from the constant instability

On went the years
On she went
Growing
Excelling
Never enough
Never seen

Long limbed and lean
Hair worn high and proud
She was learning to leave them behind
Their words thickening her skin
Becoming armor
A beautiful girl with a sharp tongue and wicked right hook
Intelligence and a subtle grace that she rarely let others see
Indifference and strength far more valuable assets to exhibit
She grew into what she needed to be
Showed what she needed to show

Until the day finally came
Leaving to start her own story
Standing in the sun
Gazing at the world around her

The pains had grown unbearable
Her back and neck needing to crack

In frustration she twisted
Putting all her years into it
Putting the disappointment and the determination
The pain and her perseverance
And she twisted

With a sound that rumbled through the earth
And shook the very stones at her feet
A moment of release felt through every inch of her

Breathing out a breath that she hadn’t know she had been holding her whole life
A shadow on the ground growing
She raised her eyes to the sky with reverence
Huge beautiful scaled wings now gracing the world around her
Her shoulder blades adorned
After years of carrying around the judgement of the ones closest to her
The weight of her new wings felt like nothing

Now she was truly free
Painless
Her own
And ready for everything
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