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Mateuš Conrad Jan 2017
that's 3 weeks without a keyboard,
that's 3 weeks on a dual-detox -
         that's that: roughly: antagonism
of: once upon a time...
           there can only be one Hans Andersen,
and as the story goes: ol' granny
   passed on the tales, without which:
no talk of posterity, and seances at
the theatre; alternatively: what if Kierkegård
opted for opera, rather than theatre?
    well: horrid is the task of dropping names,
as if being a village idiot, in that
capacity: giving directions... no such thing!
  nonetheless: a horrid task...
3 weeks... without this horrid world-entanglement...
amphetamines in the wild west,
                   and yet... everything slows down...
that's 3 weeks without such ''luxury''...
    and would you believe it?
3 weeks went by: in a blink of an eye.
             strange, or what 21st century writers
fail to recognise: the ******* canvas has changed!
any-single-one-of-them bothered to scrutinise
this new canvas? anyone?
     ah yes, it's still in its adolescence -
it's still: Dostoyevsky, scuttering in the grand
dungeon: that's the Moscow underground.
             the canvas! the canvas!
                             and indeed, if this be some
bellowing horn, from the depths of some forsaken
place... i'll go into the street, and sabotage
civilisation with graffiti...
                     then again: i have the least
expectations, such that capitalism works...
poetry... and what investment have you made?
nil, or almost nil... evidently: zilch!
      ah, but to have invested in canvases,
a studio, paints, brushes... see... no one sees
investment in poetry: primarily because the poet
has done the minimal...
            unless of course it turns out to ****
with a hot poker something once resembling
nations... which now resides in the insane asylum
(even though those, have been abolished)
                           , nation - ooh! what a ***** word!
the left irksome sometimes uses it:
in theory: the nation-state...
                        and then there's the resurgence of
ancient Greece... in a sing-along:
maybe 'cos i'm a Londoner... brother! brother!
Athenian! Athenian!
                                       but we are born into
a Spartan wedlock... no one really bothers to
**** our gob with Shakespeare...
    then again that is the schizophrenia (alias
dualism) in humanity... thus, to be frank,
psychiatry can be congratulated, it has provided
one useful term... and i will use it, over and over again,
in a non-symptomatic way, because, i find,
it stands, as if the Olympic Graeae (Zeus, Poseidon
and Hades) eating the carcass of some inhabitant
of Tartarus...
                               evidently: tartar steak...
doubly evident: tartars, or the remnants of mongols,
settled in crimea, and elsewhere in the Ukraine...
   tartar                      tra-ta-ta-ta... ku ku ryku!
a ja fu! krecha! a ja znow... fu!       radowitą
uprzejmość... skłaniam...  
    or what i call: rising spontaneously from the depths...
polymaths applauded, the tribunal resides in
bilingualism... trenches... history... perspectives
and current affairs... wicker man media...
                        so... an example of pedantry?
ó....               that's an orthographic dignitary -
        an aesthetic muddle... as is
c-ha                               contending with samo-ha...
     ch                            came from antagonism of
cz                                   which was later antagonised
by č               in česka.... say that: hen party
bound to Prague... in the Czech republic...
                                          ch      k..­.
i am, quiet frankly... standing at the feet of the tower
of babel... and i'm looking up, and i see
correlations, and i see decimal marks,
which, when given enough geography,
can seem like England and the isles,
       and central Europe...
    Iberia? phantom of Seneca...
  eureka! let's begin, once again...
  why is there a continuum beginning with
Plato and Aristotle?
                                           we could become
reasonable people... told to deal with madmen...
we could claim beginnings with Seneca...
and Cicero...
                      and why? the Romans loved poetry...
the Greeks antagonised Homer...
            the Romans loved Horace, Virgil,
                           Ovid... perhaps we should really forget
beginning with Plato and Aristotle...
       the former has become a church,
the latter a dentist's assistant (minus the ancients'
concept of a joke).
                      evidently i have to finish off reading
Seneca... his educational letters to Lucilius....
      moralising ******* that he was, thus, perhaps
a nibble at Cicero? but i must say:
                           it has to begin somewhere,
so not necessarily in stale-bread Athens...
                      and having such perspectives helps
in claiming casual conversation?
   assuredly - if it doesn't involve talking about
the weather...
                                which is always a great mystery
   if it's given enough aurora.
   onto the mystery of dialectics,
as discovered by Alfred Jarry in his Faustroll
Pataphysics contraband...
                                                nag­ging agreement...
nodding without approval... (chapter 10) -
beginning with αληθη λεγεις εφη
        (you speak the truth, he replies) -
   and ending with ως δoκεì
                              (how true that seems)...
and then some dub-step...
        know nothing dROP! boom! jiggy jiggy,
get the rhythm.
   as i always find it hard to look at
    diacritical arithmetic...
                                  given the following
represent a prolonging: hangman:
       å, ā and ä...
                             esp. in Finnish -
stratum: hedningarna täss on nainen.
                        rolling yarn, plateau, two dips;
and i will never say something profound...
i'll just say something no one else has said,
benefit of the doubt? somewhere, someone,
                                      kneels at the same altar.
  such are the distinction - invaders from the
north, and invaders from the south...
                                           even with
crusading Golgotha mann -
the times? many bats, supers, spiders,
but not enough readings of thomas mann...
                              easily befallen into prune-nosed
high-airs... it comes with the diet of literature...
   unfortunately.
                              and with yet another book:
i have burried yet another living person
i could have had a beer with, and conversed.
it always happens, every time i read a book
i have to attend a funeral... by reading a book
i have burried someone alive...
                          shame, in all frankness...
    i will sit in a congested train, touch a breathing
body, and consecrate the touch with
a warring genuflect - harbringer of a Teutonic
passion for initiation: a komtur's slap across the cheek.
   chequers played with passions...
           and some have to be approached like
caged animals, their vocabulary as cages,
                and the whole world before them:
cageless!
             some have indeed become so encrusted in
their daily: routine, that it would take a zoologist
(thrice oh, begs some sort of diacritical marking)
rather than a psychologist to understand them...
    like the darting dupes they are, enshrined in
20% gratis! smile! have a nice day! boxing day sales!
all but pleasantries, fathoming the grave.
   stiff vocab and all other kinds of perfume...
                           a king and his charlatan knights,
who are merely ditto-heads.
                  and not of this world, afresh -
among the nimble hands prior to birth -
surely there is: more grandeour in birth
   that entry via a ******...
                            the greatest pain of ****...
and when the ancient treaty was signed
under the name: Augustus Cesarean - or
recommended for a need of aristocracy -
    it was, for a time, the mana magnetism:
and such was the rule of poetry:
rather than a crown, donned the laurel leaves...
donned the laurel leaves...
    and such was the covenant from ancient
foes when trying to assimilate the Jew...
three kings from Babylon,
                         the child in Egypt...
          no good tides from Nazareth...
         a crown of myrrh - later overshadowed
by dogmatic sprechen, simpler: thorns...
yella things... or rzepak, Essex is filled with it...
rzepak... so why bother adding a dot above
the z, when you get capricious and use rz to
denote the same?! thus a science:
voiced retroflex fricative... Stalingrad!
                       can you really stomach this kind
of jargon? if it wasn't for science fiction:
science would be twice removed from gott ist tot,
*******' worth of pondering, given the close
proximity rhyme... nothing that rhymes should
ever be taken seriously, it should be hymnal!
                         Horatio! mein lyre!
   mein Guinness leier! rabbi krähe -
     and they deem that ****** white when talking:
thinking? i'd prefer Cezanne in real life -
   maggot wriggling and all...
                                          as much eroticism
as bound to a dog slobbering its testicles:
which means ****-all in an almighty stance
   for a dollop of halleluyah in Nepal.
well: pretty talk, pretty pretty pretty: i feel pretty,
oh so butter-fly-e.
                                    2 week stance,
***** in autumn... but so many Swiss hues
coming from the same concentration of decay!
shweet!  zeit-ser!        and that's me talking
kindergarten german: innovation begins with
a fork and a spoon, should the tongue come to it...
            i see a poem,
i see something worth bugging... c.i.a.,
f.b.i., hannibal's lecture in Florence, Venice for
the rats... bugging... shoving...
  shovelling... necro grounding, rattling...
    windy via north... Icelandic...
drums along incisors of abstract gallop:
violins... fringes of the mustang... airy airy...
all regresses toward the Vulgate...
         like ****, like said, and the only pristine
stress comes with vanilla ice-cream,
or a medium-rare beef ****! hmph!
                         fa fa fa excesses with that hurling
puff...
                      and i did finish Kant's
critique of pure reason... minus two calendars...
but, so help me god, the 2nd volume was hiding
under some corner...
                           thus, from transcendental methodology
came plump apricots, plums and pears...
             sweet decay fruit baron...
              and it's called sugars in the intricacy of pulp...
lazily grown, dangling on that caricature of
a formerly known: full crop of wheat-crude fringe.
    2 years... honest to god!
         but so many books in between...
i was given a recommendation...
i cited it already... kraszewski's magnum opus...
29 books...
                       although that's history fictionalised...
but nonetheless, it really was about
     the cossack uprising in the 17th century...
   and it was, as i once said, something i can forgive
sienkiewicz - the film version,
as in: i will not read a book once it has been adapted
to a movie... it's self-evident that too many
people have read a piece of work and are gagging
for a conversation... but where's the playground?
           ******* cherades!
  chinese whispers and a Manchurian candidate!
  i thought as much.
                          and whenever it's not a preplaned
escapade, what becomes of the day?
     was it always about a stance for carpe diem?
  syllables: di                em.
                            carpe is said with more lubricant.
corpus diem. well, that's an alternative, however
you care to think about it.
                and whenever you care to think about,
the proof is there: mishandling misnomers:
poets as tattoo artists... although no one sees the ink,
signatures on a reader's brian (purposively altered,
toward a Michael Jackon he-he, and other:
albino castratos the church venerates!)...
   that's 3 weeks in a catholic country...
  3 weeks... if only the football was better,
      i'd be called Juan Sanchez...
               but, evidently, the football is bad...
     so it's catholicism on par with a sleeping inquisition...
no one really expected Monty Python to conjure
that one... because it never really took place,
not until a trans-generational exodus
postscript 2004... once western brothels were exhausted,
and the Arab started ******* a hippo...
              then it was all about lakes and rivers
and Las Vegas 2.0 in Dubai!
                     you say quack... i say:
                                                    easy target.
and they did receive a blessing from Allah...
enough ink to write out Dante's revision of the Koran,
and some Al-Sha'ke'pir to write a play called:
the Merchant of Mecca.
  last time i heard, when the reformation was
plauging Christendom, no one invited the Arabs...
these days i think the little Lutherans of Islam
watched too many historical movies...
me? pick up a crucifix and march to Jerusalem?
  and is that going to translate into:
   blame the populists! blame the nationalists!
it's like watching a circus... why is the Islamic
reformation asking for third party associates?
                  i was happy listening to
the klinik... albums: eat your heart out...
time + plague...
                             once again: the world narrative
gags for enough people to conjure up
     a placebo solipsism... and that's placebo
with a squiggly prefix (meaning? how far
that ambiguity will take you) - ~placebo...
well: since existentialists were bores...
it's about time to head for Scandinavia
   and ask: is that " ''                 for passing on
an inheritance, or better still: ripe for
acknowledging ambiguity?
                          and if you can shove this
  into your daily narrative... you better be
a connaisseur of chinese antiques...
                frailty... then again, theres: ******;
well hell yeah *****'h, it's a murky underwold
after all.
                     and yes: that's called a petting word...
some say hombre, and we'll all be amigos
and muskateers at the end of the story.
                                    finally... i feel like i'm writing
a poem that i'll never end...
              why? it was supposed to be about
how John Casimir of Sweden championed
  the crown away from his brother Prince Charles
(volume 1)...
                      the bishop of Breslau...
a recluse... couldn't ride a horse...
    then again: nothing worthy imitation...
beginning with a donkey...
                               the transfiguration of palms
into whips... 2000 years later
talk of Hercules is madness... that other bit?
complete sanity.
                              well... if that be the case...
the book is there... i signed it, 2nd volume of
Kant's critique...
  
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        an oak... in a forest of pine...
an oak in pine wood...

then onto the wood of sighs:

aH aH aH aH aH aH aH aH
aH aH aH aH aH aH aH aH
aH aH aH aH aH aH aH aH
aH aH aH aH aH aH aH aH
aH aH aH aH aH aH aH aH
aH aH aH aH aH aH aH aH
aH aH aH aH aH aH aH aH
          (somehow the surd escapes,
and later morphs into, but prior to)

a short script: variation on MW...

      pears' worth of blunting runes:
opulance s and ᛋ - versus z,
    congregation minor: the interchange, ß,
buttocks and *****, minus phantoms of erotica.
yet, taking into account trigonometry...
sine (genesis 0), and cosine (genesis 1),
or            M                                   W
(no Jew would dare believe the Latins have
the second 'alf of the proof: that loophole of all
things qab-cannibal-mystic - cravat donning
mystique - a flit's worth of sharpening,
or dental grit... flappy tongue,
flabby oyster, lazing for a crab's palette)...
so?

1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0
1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0
1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0
1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0
1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0
1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0
1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 0

of course there's an
Glades and Creeks.

One day in a journey far far away,  the forest was speaking to a lone wanderer.
"I am quite the clean forest, am I not?." The forest whispered soothingly.
"Mmhm." Spoke the wanderer, passive by such an interjection.
"Of course. Thousands of forests have wilted and died under the hand of man. I remain lush and brimming to the birch with life."
"Where is my way out of here?" The wanderer asked, becoming quite needy at the thought of having to spend the night in that dung-infested greenhouse.

The forests name was Evergreen. Allot of forests were named Evergreen. This forest had just been sold cheaply to a large logging firm who would come and tear the ugly trees down. The proprietors of that sale was a tribe of Indians. The specific agent who devised and contracted the sale was named Nahiko. An Indian tribesmen who, like his ancestors could speak to the forest.

Indians were what Europeans called people from India and natives of America. Allot of Indians in America were killed for being Indian. When an Indian boy came of age, they would be thrown into a jungle and starve until they saw an animal spirit. This was probably prelude to eating said spirit animal while thanking it for helping him live on.

"I, Evergreen implore you to stay within my womb of plant and fauna."
"Hm." replied the wanderer. Not wanting to argue.
The wanderer took a seat beside a flowing creek on a rock. The creek lead up to waterfall, which in turn lead through a river that spanned for miles. The river did not speak as it was an extension of the forest, Evergreen. Down the creek was the old homes of the Indian tribe.
"Have you ever saved someone else?" The wanderer asked.
"My yes, of course. Everyone who is to enter without water or food is rescued by my charming animals! And luxurious streams. I am quite hospitable you see. There was a tribe who lived within me, they were by name called the Perchil tribe. But they had to leave for more. Hmph. As if anything up in that ****** town is worth more then me."

Further up the river, away from the forest was a town named "Milan". It was named after a kingdom of the same name in Italy. People in Milan spoke German. This was odd given Milan lay in south America, but not unusual given its history of being a port to German slave traders who came from a German colony called "Tanganyika" in Africa. The town was named Milan because the Germans wanted to appear more Italian. This desire was apparent in their most famous dishes "schnitzel Pizza" and "Pasta Salsiccia". Pasta Salsiccia was pasta in a sausage casing often served with tomato sauce and mashed potatoes.

Perchil was also a member of that Indian tribe. He was Nahiko's brother and had a family of his own. Perchil was born in Evergreen and educated in Milan. He had been fighting with Nahiko over the terms of sale of the forest. Nahiko had wanted to preserve the land of old tribe. Perchil was already drawing up plans to sell it to an oil foundry. Their land happened to be on top of a great oil reserve. That means allot of animals lived and died on that land millions or thousands of years ago. There body would dissolve into a black gooey liquid used to fuel heavy machinery. This machinery is used by logging firms to cut down not exclusively, forests named Evergreen.

The wanderer, feeling awkward asked. "So, you'd rather not want to be destroyed?"
"Oh, I am a forest and I do maintain a will of my own and wants. But I cannot rather things should be anything other than what they are. The world is a destructive place. It is disrespectful of its former home and ancestry. I know this. I have tried however, to ward off the workmen by scaring them with my animals. In the end I shall become a town or a shopping mall."
In 3 years time, the deed to "Evergreen plains, Milan" would be sold and used to build a shopping mall named aptly "Evergreen Mall". And the forests voice would be spoke out of loudspeakers, but in the form of either a pre-recorded message or announcement about a lost child. Nahiko and Perchil would be married in Evergreen Mall. Nahiko three times.

"Oh woe is me, I lament my lost brothers and sister forests who are no longer beaming and prideful of their enormous trees and crested riverbanks."
"Maybe they should have defended themselves better." The wanderer spoke, trying unsuccessfully to show concern.
"Well, I for one will never give up fighting the man!"
"Good for you." The wanderer then ate his lunch.

Three days from now, the forest would stop speaking to anyone who arrived within its borders and see the lone wanderer again. But this time, he would be protected by four glass windows inside a piece of machinery powered by black gooey liquid called a "harvester" which lifted up wood and cut it into easily transportable pieces.

"Do you, believe in god wanderer?" The forest asked, to strike up some conversation.
"I do believe in god. He's the reason I get up in the morning and assists me in supporting my family."
"I don't. I don't think I believe in god, wanderer. If he exists, how could he let something so beautiful as I and my brother and sister forests be turned into shopping malls and townships like Milan."
The evergreen forest had seen the name "Milan" as a city nearby on a poster which flew into the twig of its tree. The poster was now lying on smooth ground weighted down by a root, as so the forest can read it over and over again. The poster advertised Pasta Salsiccia at a local restaurant in Milan. It had appetizing pictures of Pizza with crumbed steak on it and Pasta filled Sausages.
"God once flooded the earth, destroying all forests and people for their misgivings. Maybe you misgave and people are your divine punishment."
The forest grew silent and whispered soft hymns of wind against the leaves and overgrown shrubbery.

The edge of the creek, where the wanderer sat on a rock had a hard sand that stretched out a few meters disappeared into the dirt. It was unusual to see a small bed of sand without any other visible placements of sand. The wanderer had been dumping it there, with permission from the forest so he could form a base to store his harvester. The forest did not know of the sands purpose, she thought it looked pretty.
"If I were god, the world would be nothing but forests!" Evergreen stated. The gentle words turning a harsher coarse crackling of branches.
"The world seems to be nothing but people right now. Maybe gods a man."
"Unlikely! If god was a man, he would certainly love forests enough to never cut them down."
"Hm." The wanderer was dissatisfied with this explanation, but didn't want to argue.

"Would you **** anyone who came into your forest, just to prove a point?" The wanderer asked, waiting pensively.
"Oh no, as I said. I cannot change what already is and certainly would not bloom the effort to try. Besides. I also know about those people and their weapons. When it comes to human beings, no matter how hard I fight they will always win. How they ever came to develop boom guns and ratatatat chainsaws I have no idea. If they came from my forest, people would certainly have never developed tools so cruel and menacing. But, I suppose Eden had her way for you. Even if it was, at the cost of all our kind."
"Yeah. No matter forest or person, people always win. I'll always be below some rich powerful man too." The wanderer felt melancholy for feeling unimportant. The forest felt the same melancholy for her life and the world.

Suddenly and finally, a noise came from the wanderers pants. He then picked out his phone, clicked it and took it to his ear. After two hours, the wanderer walked east and out of Evergreen forest. He visited her three days later in his noisy harvester. made to cut wood. He parked on his sand bed. The wanderer left his harvester and locked the door without a word. Evergreen forest was properly harvested of its trees in 3 years time. Never uttering a word or complaint. The painted marking on the harvester she saw everyday however, was her last thought as she disappeared. The word painted onto the door of the harvester, its operator. "Perchil."
I wrote this a while ago, it's my first short story. Tell me if you like it. And maybe, beseech me. Whatever. I dunno. BE GENTLE!!!
Vivian Oct 2012
a
self inflicted
self indulgent
kind of pain and pleasure moment

stuck between a whip and feather
one is close
but the other's better

one would ask
why do I bother
maybe it's cause
of an absent father

truth be told
i'm all the better
with these instructions
worn and weathered

pick up your head and soak up all the rain
lift up that chin and wash that pain away
all can be fixed with soap and water
even the pain of loveless daughters
pick up your bags but throw your cares away
Lytrell Howard Mar 2015
A yo Shawty,
You is lookin fine, fine, fine
Humph
Like a crisp hundred dollar bill on da sidewalk
Found between paychecks.  Fine.
Lookin like that Queen off in my dreams
So I be real when I step to you
Wussup, whut yo name is, whus yo phone number?
A yo Shawty,
If I gotta, I’m a steal you from somebody.
I mean some ***** gon be ******
Cuz you gon be my special dish
Shawty ya look good
Got those legs that
Mad David Ruffin not too proud to beg.
I wann know whut’s behind those eyes that hypnotize.
Whut’s in yo head?
A yo Shawty,
Is you gotta mind to go wit yo
Fine, fine, fine, super fine ***?
I see you got class.  Physical beauty surpass
Named after a month cuz the thought of you last
For mo days than the rains of Noah
God couldn’t destroy this place ‘til he made yo face
I’m down fo the chase let’s run dis race.
A yo Shawty
Yeah you
Tongue ring and accessories
Make me wanna catch yo disease
I wanna inhale what you exhale
Taste whut you smell
My idea of Hell is you not by my side
A yo Shawty
I shall provide
That fire fo you to ride
I ain’t givin you no cheese
But together we can make Swiss cheese, American and cheddar
In memory of you no falsified lines
That month befo summer and at de end of spring
A yo Shawty
Let’s get togever and do da right thing.
Like a fat *** Spike Lee Joint
Roll up dat bubonic sticky green chronic
And let’s pull together
Get close like crystal when we toast
Every anniversary Cristol in the crystal
We boast that I’m yours and you is mine
A yo Shawty
You lookin
Fine, fine, fine.
Hmph.
Like a crisp hundred dollar bill on da sidewalk
Found between paychecks.
Fine.
Amanda Dec 2013
I have precisely not one but two stalkers, two malaise menaces in my hands. Well, not quite literally.

Its all in my head, you see.

They pervade my robust, iron clad, sheer willpower.

Hmph, not really.

The two little rascals, attractive ones at that, present themselves during frenzied times of scattered notes, inked fingers with frustration crashing in the air.

Frustration grows ever-so-slightly when they efficaciously whisper to you, it will only be five minutes.

They leech time off my circadian clock, inevitably painting black under my eyes.

A pair of smooth-talking liars, the scourge of the Student Underworld.

Their flamboyant, beguiling gestures of distractions, alas, it is far too much even for
my  
mind.

Even doctors cannot prescribe a medical concoction to rid me of these pests!

Beware these criminals!

They need to be obliterated, removed, pruned away from us, young innocent seedlings.

I introduce you to... ughh...

*Mr & Mrs Procrastination.
Yes, this is completely and utterly different feel from my other poems.
But I figured a few light-hearted giggles won't hurt! ;)
(This poem was originally posted on http://over-written.blogspot.com.au/2013/03/mr-mrs-procrastination.html)
i began to smile as the very breath leaves my body.
my eyes role back.
my body goes numb.
i shake.. as you stand there with tear stained cheeks....
i cant tell what you feel..
or if youre even going to help me.
but im gone.. and i now realize where i stood with yoou.... /:
L Dec 2016
"Darling Guillaume, grace me with your presence for a quick moment?"

The man beckons, inviting warmly with a graceful tone you've come to recognize as a safe place. "Yes?" you speak before reaching him, the sound of your voice somewhat faint to him as you turn to enter the kitchen, your response lingering in the hallway.
The windows are open. The air is fresh, clean and cool. The breeze is swimming in, tugging ever so gently at a lock of the man's hair, golden strands hovering for a moment before falling back into place.

You are seventeen years young, your skin is tight around your neck and your wrists feel no pain. This is your apartment. There are fruits on the counter, some of them you don't remember buying. That's because you didn't.
The red grapes- next to your preferred white grapes- are his. There are also slices of watermelon in the fridge, along with some strawberries and a small jar of cherries that seems to never empty.
He hardly ever bakes anything and when he does, it's always something that can be eaten cool. Nothing too warm for him, though you've seen that hot chocolate is an exception to that rule. He loves fruit and cold drinks, has a terrible sweet tooth and is absolutely shameless about it. He smiles often and when he laughs, you feel he is the very embodiment of joy.

You brush a lock behind your ear before he turns from the counter quickly to face you. You both have similar hair; his is a few inches longer, curls less than yours, and is a visibly lighter shade than your dark mane. Yours is shorter, curling inwards as it rests on your shoulders.
The man gazes into you; he is never afraid of eye contact. You aren't either, but given that you consider him in many ways a stranger still, it's slightly unnerving, and gives you the impression that he has a certain power that he well knows cannot be subdued. Confidence some would call it.
As for ****** similarities, there are some, not that they're very pronounced. You both have light eyes, but yours are a deep blue with chestnut and chocolate overtones, often appearing emerald green under certain lighting; much more earthly than his- an almost unnatural, true green that shines harlequin under dim lighting, like a cat's eyes glowing under the moonlight.
He seems particularly happy right now, and you can't tell if his cheerful demeanor (though not unusual) is him being in an especially playful mood today or a hint of what's to come. That is to say, another lesson.

"Hold this egg for me, will you?"

You do as you're told, looking around in an attempt to distract yourself while you wait. You don't know what you're waiting for exactly, but you assume it will only take a minute. The kitchen is illuminated completely, very bright. It's a lovely day, sunny and perfect for a walk, you think. Maybe you'll go out later.
You hold the egg for exactly five seconds before realizing the man is staring at you- smiling beautifully with what some might mistake as bedroom eyes; but you know better.

"...What?" you ask, your voice small suddenly. A smile slowly tugs the corners of your lips and you resist, both out of embarrassment and stubbornness; you don't want to submit so easily. It's quite noticeable- you couldn't hide it well, but he isn't offended in the slightest. You are, after all, so very young. He expects you to have this kind of- rather charming- behavior, and accepts it fully.

"Feel it."

He speaks quietly but with sparkling, eager eyes, like he's about to let you in on some grand, fascinating secret, and you are reminded of a dear friend.
Being a memory you visit often, it takes half a second to remember it clearly- your best friend- running towards you, tie bouncing on his chest. He wears his school uniform, it's lunchtime, and he is eager to tell you how he's found the perfect spot to relax (or study, if needed) during this hour. "You both make for a funny sight, you know!" you'd have friends tell you often. You weren't very eager to admit it then, but it's true. You can picture it now- tall, lanky, grinning class president next to short, grumpy, quiet you. Ah, the memories.
You've both been busy, settling into lives completely independent from the help of your parents. You make a mental note to call him when you have the time.

You stroke the egg with your thumb, gazing at it intently. There's something the man wants you to know and he's not going to give you the answer on a silver platter- it's not that easy, you've learned that by now. He's played games like this before where he begins a conversation suddenly- often starting with an odd, seemingly-out-of-place question- with the intention of teaching you something.
He is strict in his belief that answers should not be given but found, and if one wishes to teach something, one should guide the other to help them understand, but never lead the way. Leading would result in the thought that lessons are a destination- and that isn't the case at all. To simply give you an answer is a sin to this man, and maybe this is why you've learned so much with him.
You want your answer to please him. Yes, and that may be difficult- because at this point, there is simply no way for you to know what the correct answer could possibly be.
No matter. You'll have to work with what you have at the moment. That being, not much.

"It's... smooth."

To that, he smiles with his eyes. You don't know it, but he's very happy with your answer. Partly because he never asked a question in the first place, and your attempt to answer something that has yet to be asked is, in his opinion, a sign of a good student- one willing to learn.

"Mm. It is." He takes the egg from your hands, holding it a few inches away from his chin and observing it for the entirety of two seconds before turning his gaze to you.
His face betrays the look of a father determined to put his son on the right path; a look that says "I will not let you go until you have understood".
But he's too gentle for that. You know he'd let you go if you ever spoke of wanting to stop a lesson. Not that that's happened before. He's always so tactful that you never have reason to feel uncomfortable around him. You appreciate it; you're not terribly tolerant of tactless people, even if you do feel quite guilty about it, especially when they do seem to be trying. C'est la vie.

He is silent for a short moment, his voice replaced by the distant laughter of children playing outside. It's then that you notice the cherry.
The single red fruit, small and unassuming, sat just behind him on the counter, closer to the window than him, and you wonder for a moment if he was planning to eat it before calling you to talk. You're vaguely alarmed at the thought, for cherries aren't something he will eat often, and you've noticed that they seem to be reserved for what appear to be private special occasions- he will sometimes eat a single cherry while deep in thought, staring out the window (you've caught him people-watching a few times like this), and you wonder if he was thinking about you this time, and dropped the cherry to have some sort of urgent talk with you.
However, that doesn't seem to be the case, so you push the thought aside, unconsciously replacing it with one of your favorite memories of the man-
"Cherries are dangerous," you recall him explaining one day, "they are toxic in their excessive sweetness. Eat no more than two a week, or you'll be taken by the cherry man!" You never forgot that conversation, although it’s whimsical charm wasn’t the reason why- it drilled itself into your memory the moment you realized two very interesting things.
The first being that by "cherry man", he meant the Devil, and the second being more of a doubt than anything else- cherries are not that sweet. His argument would make more sense if he was talking about cake, for example. Whenever this memory surfaces, there is always a vague sense of confusion and wariness hidden just under the more pleasant feelings you prefer having. Nevertheless, the general sentiment in his words is that excess can be detrimental to the soul. "Greed is a terrible sin, you know." And this is why the cherry jar never empties.

"Hellooo..."
Oh- goodness, he's waving his hand in front of you. You blink a few times, responding with a rather ungraceful 'Huh?', blushing slightly from the embarrassment.

"Where did you go?" He's chuckling as he asks, and you can feel the warmth on your cheeks.

"Ah, nowhere."

He smirks with a small "hmph", before giving you a proper smile, pausing to let you come back to him fully before continuing, egg held up in his hand:

"What is the egg now, Guillaume?"

You look at it, held between his middle, index finger and thumb. What is the egg now. What a strange question. Of course, it isn't as strange coming from him; you don't think you'll ever get used to his odd lessons, but his behavior when teaching you things nobody else would is something you've come to expect by now.
What is the egg? It isn't an elephant, it isn't square. There are many things it isn't, sure. You search in your head for a possible answer, one he'll deem correct, 'till you decide on-

"It's nothing."

-a dishonest one.
For someone who's not very tolerant of tactlessness, that sure was, well, tactless. Why did you say that? Insincere and blurted out without any thought. He takes notice immediately, and you wordlessly apologize profusely, combing your fingers through your hair and avoiding eye contact.

He's much older than you. He's also wise- wiser than most people his age, you think. Whatever the man wants to teach you, it's obviously something he already fully understands. The fact that he knows more than you however, does not mean you are below him; he never wants you to do anything for the sake of pleasing him and what you've done just now is exactly that. He can, however, sympathize- he's a perfectionist himself and understands the desire to do things right. There is a time and place for everything though; an order, and what you've shown now is good intention misplaced, which is a potentially dangerous thing.
He has no concerns regarding the acceptance of chaos when it is necessary,
that isn't the problem. The problem is that your dishonesty is chaos in a situation that warrants order.

"I don't want you to try to please me, Guillaume. I welcome incorrect answers so long as they are entirely honest."

There is a pause, and he sighs before remembering just how young you are. He realizes you might have accepted him as a parental figure or mentor of sorts by now, and it's an honor, really- you're a bright boy and he enjoys your company very much.
Your accepting him as a parental figure however, does not give him the right to scold you; no, that would horrible. If you will learn, it'll only be because you will allow him to teach you. He must never force his way into you.

"Look at me." His voice is firm but gentle.
You hesitate for a second, but whatever you were feeling is gone the moment you notice his expression- warm and inviting; "try again" it says. You are willing to now.

"You can see the egg, can you not? Surely it isn't nothing if it's still a part of your reality. You see an egg, and that still makes it one."
He hides it behind his back, and you are confused at the action but eager to understand. You give him a questioning look and he smiles before giving you an answer.

"What is the egg now?"

With a question, anyway.
You think long and hard, silently focusing all your attention on the creases of his shirt. You stare at the man's chest for a full minute and a half, determined not to make the same mistake again. You will answer honestly, yes; but you will also impress him- and possibly yourself- with a good answer.
The subject isn't exactly new or difficult for him, you're sure. He will sometimes leave the house and not return for a day or two and when questioned, responds with an inconclusive "Mm. Studying." You still aren't sure what that means and you feel it's best not to think too much about it, but surely it has something to do with these lessons of his, no?
He's obviously studied this before, you think; you are operating on a much lower level than him and have a vague awareness of this. It just isn't as pronounced because the man insists on treating you as his equal. As far as he's concerned, you are both students capable of learning from each other every day. You hope to one day teach him something, and not by accident, as it tends to happen. Soon, perhaps. Maybe now.
You look up at him with a determined look on your face, satisfied with your conclusion.

"An idea. The egg is an idea-"

"Why?"

You barely finish saying your answer when he's already questioning your reasoning. You'd be nervous if you didn't already know that his bluntness wasn't the result of annoyance, but of curiosity. He is eager to teach, yes, but he is more eager to learn. After all, a good teacher hasn't accomplished much if they haven't learned anything from their student.
New ideas need to exist. In conversation, one should always aim to walk away with new information, a new perspective. Sometimes this information is given to you, other times you must take it; something he's given you is the ability to think more critically. He's all but trained you to do so. It's much easier now to get into this mindset than it was when you first met the man. You're glad to have had the chance to practice this sort of thing at all; you don't think you could have done it with anyone else.

"Because there is ultimately no way for me to know if the egg still exists."

There really is no way to be sure.
The egg isn't a part of you any longer. You can no longer see it, or touch it. You can't hear it, either. It isn't there anymore and having seen it being hidden, all that there is now is the suggestion of it's existence.
Your answer was truthful and concise and you feel nothing else need be explained. When you search the man's face for any signs of contentment, you find none. No, what you find is something quite different. An absolutely luscious smile, and those bedroom eyes.
His voice turns low and he speaks clearer- a calm tone of voice that would make anyone submit if he asked them to.
He's challenging you. Both begging and demanding you to win.

"But I know the egg exists. I am telling you it does. Am I lying?"

His voice could be very seductive sometimes. Especially at times like this, when daring you to step further into his world.
His world. One that was always bright and pleasant and hid something underneath- a barely audible humming that you've managed to ignore until very recently. If there was such a thing as feeling a lack of light despite there physically being none, you felt it every time the man dared you to chase him into his labyrinth.
There was just something very visceral that would bleed through sometimes; in his eyes, his hand gestures, in his voice.

"It doesn't matter." you tell him, your words quick and blunt.
He is amused. Shocked, even. You push away the rising bravado before it fully shows; don't want to jinx it now.
Eyebrows raised, he gives you an impressed "Oh?" and you continue, clarifying to back up your risky (despite yielding good results) answer.

"Assuming you are holding it in your hand right now, it's still an egg to you. By the mere act of touching it, it becomes a part of your realm of understanding; it exists to you, right now, as what it is- an egg."

You can't see it of course, but he's mindlessly stroking it with his thumb now, much like how you did at the start of this conversation. Both his hands are behind his back, resting on the counter he leans on. He listens intently.

"...You tell me it still exists, but that doesn't change what it's become to me. It stopped being an egg the moment you hid it from me. No matter what you know to be true, that reality isn't always going to be a shared one.
You have an egg, I have an idea."

There can be many correct answers, he thinks. He doesn't believe in there being a single, ultimate truth about anything. If the self is all one can know, why is one's understanding of the universe not considered a reality in itself, one separated from what most consider the only reality? Your explanation follows this concept and he's thrilled tha
This is fanfiction, but you don't need to be in any fandom to understand and enjoy this, I've made it accessible enough for everyone to understand; the fandom bits in this aren't crucial to the story, so everyone can enjoy it (although people in the fandom might enjoy it differently, but that goes without saying I guess).

It's daftpunk/label au for anyone who wants to know.
Guy-manuel and Crydamoure are the characters.

-
a m a n d a Oct 2016
(edited, updated, bigger, longer, richer, and better than ever)
(hilz says hi)
#obviouslyshepaidme
#idonthaveamindofmyown


when your opponent’s husband
(who, by the way,
is an entirely different
human being
than his wife, and is not
running for president
)
has an affair,
or is accused of
****** assault,
the claims are
absolutely
100% true.
the women
must be believed.
he* is
a criminal.

your candidate will go
so far as to invite
some of those women to
the debate to
shame his opponent,
and show
how *supportive
he is
of these women.
(because they are
serving his purpose).

your opponent’s husband
is a liar,
a ******,
a pig.
absolute filth
that should be
thrown in prison.

in fact,
your opponent
is even worse than him,
she attacked
those women. she
didn't believe them.
this is proof of
her hatred
of women.
(oh, the irony is
not lost on me, no sir.)

(also,
let’s pretend that
your candidate didn’t call
that exact man, your
opponent's husband,
a “victim” in regard to
the exact same situation
in 1998.)

oh wait,
i forgot you don’t care about things that
happened any
longer ago
than yesterday. unless we
are talking about
the opponent. because then
OBVIOUSLY
it doesn’t matter
when in time
she said or
did something.)
duh.

(this is what we like
to call a double standard.)

moving right along.

if the same thing
happens to your
own candidate,
accusers come forward,
OBVIOUSLY
everyone else on earth
is lying EXCEPT
him.
in fact,
every accuser (i lost
track of the number)
is an absolute liar,
too ugly for assault,
and getting paid
by a massive
worldwide conspiracy,
controlled by your
political opponent who
you also describe as never
having accomplished anything
in her life.
(strange how that works.)

when your candidate’s
wife does pretty
much the exact same
thing
your opponent did,
(stand by her husband)
proclaim his innocence,
and discredit the claims,
(for which you
label her
a liar,
an enabler,
an enemy of women)
it doesn't matter
anymore, because it
was your wife
saying it.
think about that for a second.

i’m just checking, guys.
i’m just trying to figure this out.

-

you do not like
that your opponent
has money. or seeks power.
that makes
her a disgusting,
horrible,
conniving,
***** *****.
(and DEFINITELY
has nothing to do
with the fact that she is
a woman).

and i guess the thing
that we are all
pretending
(right? we are
pretending this?)
that
she has
more money
than he does.
(she doesn’t).

anywhoo,
but because she has money,
she pays off literally everyone
on this blue planet.

she's probably even
paying me right now.

i'm probably a liberal
operative,
born in a lab,
bred for vengeance,
and the destruction
of these united states,
and this is
the culmination
of my life's work.
i jest.

but in fact,
your candidate has
MORE money
than her.

at least he says he does.
of course to you
this does not
matter and you
see no contradiction
in your thinking.

we don’t even
consider for
a moment
that
he pays
people off.
because, yeah,
billionaires don't
have any political
connections).
but how can we
even prove it?
he refuses
to submit his
tax returns to
the public, after saying
on record that he
would, but
don’t worry about that,
we don't care that he lies.
that’s not suspicious at all.
(for the love
of everything holy,
can you imagine the
fire and brimstone
if obama refused to
release his?!)
i mean it's so
ridiculous it makes me laugh.

alrighty then, moving along, once again.

when she
changes position
on a policy,
she is a liar.
a manipulator.
cannot be
trusted,
a flip-flopper,
being swayed by
special interests.

when he does it,
he is “evolving.”
i can't even say that
with a straight face.
(and let’s not for one
second pretend
he hasn’t flip-flopped
on almost every single
issue (guns, immigration,
foreign issues, his opponent,
nukes, wars, abortion, etc.).
see link at bottom for ***** and giggles.
-

she lies. she’s a liar.
we hate liars.

you use that
as your shield.


he never lies. (a-hem)
he LITERALLY LIES on
video, contradicting
HIMSELF, and his
own campaign,
within minutes.
not even years. minutes.

i mean geez,
it’s not like you
can scour
the internet for
proof or anything.

-

he respects women.
hmmm...let us
look at the evidence, shall we?

calls women accusing him of  ****** assault
ugly, out for money, liars. all of them.
because i guess
attraction = rapeability?
(it does not)
(even though he admitted to doing whatever
he wants to do to women, without asking, in his
own words)
it's on record.

he talks about
young girls
in sexualized terms.
it's on record.

he agreed
that he doesn’t
respect women.
it's on record.

he agreed he was
a ****** predator.
it's on record.

he said it’s dangerous
for one’s wife to work.
it's on record.

he said he loses his
**** when
dinner isn’t on the table.
it's on record.

he said
he can do whatever
he wants to
women because he
is powerful
and rich.
it's on record.

women who
breastfeed are
disgusting.
it's on record.

he doesn’t like
flat chests
or fat girls
it's on record.

all women
are gold diggers.
it's on record.

he doesn’t like to
give a woman
negotiable assets.
it's on record.

dogs,
pigs,
it's on record.

he wants to
repeal roe v wade.
it's on record.

he bragged about
walking into
beauty pageant
dressing rooms
full of naked
teenage girls.
it's on record.

hmph. it’s so hard to
figure this out.

(if i could roll my eyes
any harder they would
pop right out
of my head).

these aren't even
ALL THE THINGS.
straight from
the man's own
godforsaken mouth, unedited!
not opinions.
facts.

-

although his campaign
has received millions
of dollars in free
advertising,
and his entire
life is based
upon being in
the media spotlight,

the entire media
is a left wing
conspiracy.


(unless they report
something positive.
then it's not a conspiracy
anymore, then it's true)

side note.
i guess if he wins,
we can expect to see
just a SERIOUS
overhaul of the election
process, you know,
because it's so rigged.
and the whole thing
will be brilliantly
torn down and remade
within 4 years,
and be without
criticism
before it's time
for re-election.
because he wouldn't
want us all to go
ahead and try to vote
for him again in a
rigged election.
he cares about us.

and the media will just
be torn to shreds,
you know, but still free
and everything is
going to be so fair, you guys.
i mean things are going
to be so fair you
are going to get sick of it.
and really,
he's a super sweet guy
if he accepts the
presidency in an
election he
knows
is rigged.
cuz that's what
any upstanding
citizen would do.

-

she is an insider.
(i.e., what some of us like
to refer to as a professional)

he has been
talking about
running for president
since the
1980’s,
but OBVIOUSLY
HE would never
take money
for favors.
HE hasn't been planning this.
HE would never
seek power.
HE would never
politicize things
for his own best
interest.
only politicians
do that, and
he isn't one.
HE is for
the working man.

-

please, tiny, sweet baby jesus
with tiny jesus hands
help me.

-

it’s not hypocritical
at all for
him to constantly
talk about how awful it is
that jobs are
going overseas,
even though he
does THAT EXACT THING
with his own companies.

jesus, guys.
obviously he's just SMART.
(really? is that the word
we want to use? is that the
word we use to describe other
business owners who do
the same thing? uh, no, it's not.
i'm pretty sure they are
compared to criminals,
and labeled unpatriotic.)

because if you
believe something passionately,
like you claim to,
like american goods should
be created and manufactured
in this country,
and you are a billionaire,
with vast resources,
that owns businesses,
employs people in this country,
and you love your country
and all it's people,
and you have a sense of
right and wrong,
you don't cheat.
you don't take advantage.
other businesses do it the right way
why can't you?
that's what IT ******* MEANS
to have principles.

he is an opportunist.
he takes.
see the difference?

-

when she
calls your supporters
a bad, bad thing
(a basket of deplorables?)
she is a
disgusting,
unpresidential,
elitist
***** that
can never
be forgiven.

he would never,
EVER even
think about
calling anyone names.
never ever.
(i seriously don't have
the time in my life
to even attempt to list all
the examples.) although
the new york times
did a pretty decent job.

but you do recognize sarcasm, yes?

-

jesus,
people shouldn’t get
so friggen offended
all the time!
he says.
being
politically correct
is stupid.
it’s better
to be honest, like him.
(except he's not honest)
he just says ALL
THE THINGS
we are ALL thinking
but don't have
the ***** to say.
(um...really? you can
count me out of
that particular
generalization.)

-

he is not weak,
or a coward,
or a liar,
or corrupt,
everyone
else
is.


he would never
get offended
by an snl skit
and cry like a baby
about it,
because that's absurd.

or claim
that literally everything
is unfair,
because that sounds
like a whining child.
(which his wife
compared him to).

-

when someone
accused him of rigging
a pageant,
he sued them.
because "proclaiming
fraud is serious."
the accuser is clearly
just a loser. a bad loser.
(that's what he said).
OBVIOUSLY this
does not apply
when HE
claims elections
are rigged.

also, he doesn’t care
that the GOP Primary
was rigged,
(whoops, did you
forget that was
rigged too?)
because he won.
(yep, he said that too.)

-

i see patterns here.
(i learned about patterns
in kindergarten.)

-

he spends
campaign funds
on his personal
businesses.
(we don't care)

sued
for unpaid taxes,
discrimination,
****** assault,
fraud,
ripping
people off.
(again, we don't care. actually,
all these things are
probably just
further proof of his
very level-headed,
thoughtful, and
superior intellect.)

bankruptcies,
failed businesses,
using charitable donations
to benefit himself,
(while viewed as bad
things for all other
human beings, are
actually strengths of his.
because up is down.
and quite frankly,
we.
don't.
care.)

has sued literally
thousands of times.
(i thought people
who sued all the
time were jerks?)
welp,
not him.

-

when other people
settle lawsuits
that is an
admission of guilt.
(yep, he said that)
(so did his campaign manager)

when he does it
OBVIOUSLY the
opposite is true.

and he's done it MANY times.

-

he mocked someone
with a disability.
it's on record.

-

he mocked someone
who is deaf.
it's on record.

-

he has made
disparaging remarks
about the military.
it's on record.

he incites and
encourages
violence.
again, on record.

i'm gonna go ahead and say,
not so much
into the brown people?
or the gay people.
or the woman people?
or the poor people.
or the fat people.
or the refugee people.
or the science people.
or military people.
or government people.
or journalist people
oh yeah, or education people.
or people that disagree with him.
or stupid people who pay their taxes.

but like, totally into
everyone else,
like
white, male people.
that agree with him.
that are into violence.
and are rich.
and cheat the system.

he maybe sorta kinda
(ok, just flat out said it)
hinted at using the
second amendment
to **** his opponent.
on record.
god, you guys, seriously,
learn to take a joke.
because murdering your
political opponent is super funny.
i mean, it's fun, right?
it's especially funny in those
other countries. and for the murdered people.
it's not like kids are listening.
or like there are any crazy card carrying
white *** people
that think that might be a good idea.
gosh, get a grip.

said he could
shoot someone
in broad daylight and
wouldn't lose votes.
for realz? yes, for realz!

having one standard
for yourself
and the opposite standard
for everyone else
is dare i say,
the very definition of
i n e q u a l i t y.

if you think
you are
superior,
then just say so.
own that ****.

if you desire violence,
proclaim it.

if you desire inequality,
then shout it
from the rooftops.

if you think one
group should get richer
while others get poorer,
say it. support it.

if you think
women have no
value other
than the size
of their *******
and their *****,
by all means,
let us know!

because that's what he would do.
that's what he does.

don't hide behind
this excuse
of a man.

don't paint
yourself a
patriot,

regurgitate
outright lies
without doing
any research,

and don't think you
speak for
all of us.

because you don't.

pretending something is real
does not make it real.

i’m getting
tired of this.

hypocrisy
is gross.
oh, i'll just keep updating this ****, you can count on that.
just for funzies: https://www.facebook.com/OccupyDemocrats/videos/1206887309404321/
Olivia Greene Jul 2013
did you tell her about me?
of the pain i caused you?
of my problems that you no longer wanted to fix?
or of the ******* heart of yours i broke.
did you tell her how i TRANSFERED for YOU left all MY friends to please YOU
or  did you tell her about the call at 4 A.M. because I had a nightmare and needed to talk to someone, to hear my best friend's voice tell me "it's okay olivia, it was just a dream"
or how i asked you to send me sad things so that i would force myself to cry, because i hadn't cried in months and wanted to feel SOMETHING other than numb
or how we stayed up until 3 A.M. in Germany trying to solve this unsolvable mess, and you cried and i cried. everything was so ****** up
or all the red mango's i put on your doorstep as a peace offering.

you knew me, but you didnt
and that's something i still can't figure out
you knew how to manipulate me into thinking it was the best choice for US.
you loved using "us"
but you never ******* encouraged me or made me feel PROUD
I showed you my ****** poetry and you just "hmph-ed" you ******* HMPH-ED
Awhile ago I felt like I was drowing.
And I didn't want to come up and show my face to you, to my mom, to anyone who mattered
you mattered to me, c.
you mattered.
but now,
my priorities lie in
gaining back everything you put away in a box
that tiny little box you labeled
branded
with your name
Joel Emmanuel Jan 2012
Plain brain game,
      droopy eyes,
        shaking thighs -

    Why am I back here, again?

      Great laughs -
             ha, ha,
                ha -
          peeing cycles increasing
            to release
            the awkward current
               forming armies
               of goose bumps
           around my thoughts -

     My Friday night
        has just begun -
              but it feels
                like last week's ****;

       Same tickling fear
          tied in a knot,
      as I seal my
                       heart
       with more dishonesty;
        
these distracted strangers
     don't know any better,
                             any better than me, anyway -

      "Love is just a state of mind,
          the heart knows better,"

                             hmph -

     intuition feeling
          a tad under the weather -

       Not good enough,
          I should've known better..
Butch Decatoria Dec 2015
hmph... where are the open mics?

This coffee-bean bag city abound

with eclectic fusions of wireless access

enter-the-net -abilities

Kenya to Columbia / slow, dark roasts...

and Napa Valley vineyards

intermingling

at Cream...

How oddly bright, surrounded by glass

windows--like discovery of x-ray vision,

through clear walls i see how packed

like an iMac convention it is

inside...

   Poetry readings: Yahoo local search directed us here,

barista-scented alcoholic webmasters

thin-legged tables laid out like a life-sized

chess board--us three white rooks performing

black bishop moves to the cashier;

curious like George as to where

in Carmen-cool-San Diego,

in this glowing rubix cubed place;

   where in the fluoresent skin of Comp-USA borne

peoples of the web, where

where oh where's the poetry?

Reading Vista-windows rather than obsolescent-absolutes

of books by Keats

or obsessive-compulsive Koontz...

   Though bright and machine-warm, Cream

felt metallic-shiny, slick as plastic; conversations

with an electric hiss

rather than a hum of heart-beats and laughter

where's the **** poetry??

   the readings?

a prolific geek or Hemingway refined older men

on a single microphone;

turn-table-tales in rhyme

on a platform made by the local grind

college theatre teckies (staple-gunned and glued)...

where are those poets?

   those spoken-word-wisdoms, writers

performing, even in their Goth-blacks, even in

their Seattle angst of cordoruoys or dock martins;

forget Starbucks, leave behind Jitterz,

the Expresso Roma is the poetry of coffee

no enterprise

can replicate

duplicate the unique...

   sadly i must concede, the spoken word

and poetic fluffers are a dying breed; as far as

i can web-surf, no place

houses them any longer, no more

do they sprinkle their pixie-dust of verse

or prose, mosaics,

fantastics of floral or funk

imagery and emotional

stark revelations of discovery...

   sadly--it is the day's turning of a page;

***** is the word,

adverb to lost horizons, i am

a dinosaur of the mess-no-beatnik-era,

"poet-a-sore-is-rest"

deep thoughts' ooze now the blood of

{fingers snapping} history

"yeah, man, cool...outta sight"

and i'm not yet extinct;

i am a teradactyl with so much sky

soon without a place to land, / below

crash into the matrix sea--Cream pixelates my woes...

communication has become a plastic factory

to Japan, and Europe, my inner "screeeeech!"

"where is the poetry?!"
Ant Sep 2018
As a young child I wanted a right hand.
one to ride with my vibe.
a person I don’t mind to see me cry.
i want a love so strong that it is a sin to the world eyes.
i laugh you laugh...shhhhh!!! I can be corny at times.
when one cries we are there to uplift, because love won’t let the inner die.
you Guernica
i Pablo Picasso
you humbling shinning by my side
tru love is what i’m looking for :)

feel this............i bathe you in a fruit bath
to wash away  the world stressful sin.
i dry you off then rub you down with warm oil hmph !!
let the magic begin :)
then we make love like the world is going to end.
just to wake up to see the sunrise again
that was a young child
who became a man
still wanting that right hand
Tru Love Is What I’m looking For :)

as my old skool soul wraps around your heart.
the piano sound dances with the wind
because it has found the thing it’s been looking for.
if i said it once i will say it again
tru love is what i’m looking for :)
Ghazal Jan 2018
Namaz was less prayer and more about
Standing beside Amma and mirroring her,
When as a toddler I stood on the chataai
Murmuring as she did,
Bending down as she did,
Resting my head on the floor
And then waiting to come back up
When she did,
Some days I'd be so sleepy I'd sway on the mat,
Only to be jolted up by an angry Hmph! from her side,
Some days the patterns on the mat seemed like
They were God's silhouette- something she always denied,
Times of silently bonding with the Almighty and the Amma,
Slowly faded into me deciding to pray solo,
When the hour of maghrib coincided with a
Mother-daughter tiff,
And even when we stood praying side by side,
I'd make it a point to not let our sajdas coincide,
On the mat laying bare our rifts and divides.
I wonder if Amma noticed me daydreaming during prayer,
My musings whether God understood English,
My requests to Him to make that crush like me back,
My teenage self angrily bubbling at her obtrusions to my 'freedom'
As she prayed and prayed for me.
Years have passed,
And how I'd love to synchronise again,
The pace of our prayer, the length of our sajda,
But the days, and this new house,
Are now ridden with so much more clutter,
That, though the chataai has stayed the same,
There's not enough space to accommodate
Both daughter and mother.
chataai - mat
sajda - prostration to God
maghrib - fourth obligatory prayer of the day
Liberty J Feb 2018
My eyes flickered to the left, but swiftly returned back to the blank page. Crickets droned on outside, urging me to do something.

Anything.

“Write of great princes and stunningly beautiful maidens" they chirped.

“No," I rejected the thought immediately, "That's much to chilchè"

“Well, why not draw a romantic sunset, covered in a blanket of pink clouds?" they suggested.

“No," I said once more, “ A romantic sunset deserves color, and I have none to give."

“Perhaps scribble down a poem about stars, and all they do?"

“Stars?" I asked, “All stars do, is fall. It seems my efforts are hopeless, friends." I pushed the paper aside.

“Now, now," Squeaked the crickets, “We mustn't lose hope. How about a sketching a crying child in the rain?"

“No, that won't do," I whispered to them “Now please, keep it down."

“Oh, yes." said the crickets “But wait here, we will be back."

“Where are you going?" I asked, but with no response. The crickets had hopped away.

---

“Hello Claire.” A mouse greeted me.

“Oh, hello mouse. I’m glad you have visited, but why have you come?” I pet between her ears.

“The crickets sent me to help.” She stated.

“The crickets?” I asked, “But this was supposed to be secret…” I said under my breath.

“Yes, yes.” The mouse rolled her eyes and smiled at me, “This will remain unknown, trust me.”

“Thank you mouse.” I turned back to the paper, “What do you suggest?”

“Hmm…” The mouse paused for a moment of thought. “Draw a world so small, it fits on a page.”

“No,” I repeated, “That's much to distant.”

“Very well.” The mouse squeaked, “Why not write a story about true love?”

“No,” I recited “A story like that deserve love, and I have not to give.”

“Alright, alright.” said the mouse, annoyed, “Oh, how about a poem about hope?”

I sighed. “All hopes do, is die. This effort is worthless mouse.”

“Come now, don’t give in.” The mouse encouraged, “Um… Maybe a tall tale? About a silly girl with pigtails?”

“No, that won’t do,” I whispered, “Now please, quiet down!”

“Stop being paranoid,” said the mouse, “now stay here, I’ll be back.”

“No mouse!” I called out, “Where are you going?” I turned to reach for her, but she was gone.

---

“Hello Claire.” A crow perched mightily on my windowsill.

“Oh, well hello doctor.” I greeted him politely. “What brings you here this evening?”

“The mouse sent me.” The crow cawed.

“Mouse?” I whispered to myself, wondering how long this had to go on.

“Now then, I like to keep things short, so let's get to work.” the crow said with soulless eyes.

“A-alright then sir.” I whimpered, with a sense of pity. “What do you suggest?”

“Write a story about far off lands with world peace.” He droned.

“No, that's much to unrealistic.”

“Very well,” He adjusted his foot balance. “Draw a series of spectacular places.”

I shook my head, “But doctor, that deserves accuracy, and I have none to give.”
“Hmph” The crow grumbled, “Write a poem about birds, and how we are so free.” He boasted.

“All birds do, is fly.” I said, looking  hopelessly at my blank paper.

“Than perhaps write about how foolish you are.” He spat, and flew away.

“No, Doctor!” I stood and leaned out the window, “But I need help!” I cried, but he had flown too far to hear me.

---

“How are you Claire?” A cat creeped in the room.

“Oh, hello cat.” I sat back down at my desk. “I’m doing well, other than my very blank paper.” I sighed.

“How unfortunate.” The cat stretched out across the floor. “Would you like my help?”

“Oh yes, if you don’t mind.” I steadied myself in my chair.

“Alright.” The cat said, “Have you tried seeing something inspiring?”

“Something inspiring?” I shook my head, “I don’t know anything that would look inspiring.”

“Well.” Cat began to lick his tail, “ Have you tried listening to something beautiful?”

“Something beautiful?” I asked, “I don’t know anything that would sound beautiful.”

“Alright” The cat looked confused, “Um, what about smelling something good?”

“Something good?” I looked down, “I don’t know anything that would smell good.”

“Strange.” The cat stood, “Then why not leave the paper blank?” The cat said, leaving the room.

“Nothing at all?” I looked to the cat, but he was gone. “That’s not a bad idea…” I said, leaving the room.
SøułSurvivør Mar 2017
A Story of Scientology and the Mental Health System Connection

SEEKER

Now I can hear you saying to yourselves,
"So. You said you were smart. Why did you get involved with a crazy cult like Scientology?"* Well. Two reasons. 1) I was raised an atheist (Humanist), but had a seeker's soul. I became very spiritual, like I said. I also had a desire to HELP people. Humanity. I still do. But because I had a godless upbringing I was left open to deception. And 2) I found a boyfriend. Or, I should say, he found me. One of Scientology's tried and true methods of recruitment.

I had another friend, a ***** Jewish scientologist (yes, there can be that sort of thing, as you can be "any faith" and still be a scientologist... hmph!). She introduced us. I was impressed by two things. He was an instructor at the "Mission". And he could tell you things that seemed psychic. One of the procedures for impressing people to sign up for classes and "processing" was this. Doug would position you in a certain part of the room. He'd have his back to you. Then he'd tell you to walk away from him... then stop abruptly.
He'd be able to tell you when you stopped! And he could do it every time! This really impressed me. Until I found out he looked into the reflective surface of a large glass covered poster that was on the wall! Lol! What a con artistic magician HE was! HA!

I was totally gone over by the registrar (salesperson). She stuck to me like glue until she FINALLY figured out, Yes! I had NO MONEY! So I didn't get any training or processing. Which was a BIG part of why I stuck around. I didn't even read "Dianetics" by L Ron Hubbard. Doug told me a little about it. But most of his energy was expended trying to get in my pants... a fruitless endeavor to say the least!

He was instrumental in getting me up to Phoenix for the fateful "Flag Orientation Tour". The recruitment campaign which would change my life forever...

*Where I signed my life over to Scientology's Sea Organization for the next BILLION YEARS.
Obviously I broke the contract. How that happened will come in a later installment. If you have not read the first two installments of the story, please go back to them and read them. It's important that you get that background, in order to understand the rest of the story. Yes. I am writing a whole book right here on Hello Poetry.

I'm sorry I'm not reading right now. This book MUST be finished quickly. You'll understand why later on...

HUNDREDS, POSSIBLY THOUSANDS OF LIVES ARE AT STAKE.

♡ Catherine
Butch Decatoria Jan 2016
"Seriously? --you can join a club for that..."

There's a organization / a group / someone
created and dubbed
"Bureau" ...
--for poets, who's art is poetry...
who's passions flow within the blood
the written, the spoken, the ephemeral
"Word"
            the beautiful disasters, the contradictions
which is our providence:
                      humanity aside/besides/
inside Life...
Now all the times awaken - the wide asleep,
still behind the blindly
following / believing
                    their sweet nothings ...
The Bureau makes them official
the authority on Blah blah blah...

(And now the poem. A piece created by-- FishSparrow DreamKing...)


ON POETRY / ABOUT LOVE--YOU



mad-haired alchemist
having mixed two tinctures
wrongly
             such liquids
exploding
whilst hypothesized
unremarkable through the myopia
of every day lies
faces intimate with the thickest book
make out session
with the obtuse / research
a scientific version on finding a clue
the alchemy of madness
       telling who to be / how to be whom
or what to feel when in or out of moods

when poetry is life,
then it is life and love of it that
is absolute truth
the science of awakenings and you...
and the rest of you too.

........

A bureau, hmph
an organization dismissing the muses
and the breath
that we devour

a study on the facets
and romances
with life
              written art works
               spoken odysseys

magnanimous numbness of verbs

magic of lustrous *******
of star crossed
tempests
          evermore a ravenous
soul
Poetry

need not secret societies
or bureaus ...
nor research to categorize or label
with crisis without identity
****** or existential ...
"To be or not to be?" -- the answer is To Be, always to be... just because life is beautiful and awfully wonderful


The heart is only
a lonely hunter
if love were not its prey

to feel free
and truly alive
is the honest purpose

of the written
and the spoken

of poetry
of art  
of happiness

words
dancing the night away
in sonnet streets


who do we endeavor to example

when it is our own pen that must bleed
the maddening truths
that needs combustion
the foreplay of time / life whispering in italics
beautifully
breaking down

laughter's tintinnabulations
all the world
all the life        
            our Oyster...

But seriously tho'
what the dealio...?

when I want to hear
a fearless something
soaked
in the sensual
and is real

so good
the words       bleed    rain
beaus / utter not
those words not words but
but make our kiss
immortal
electric
             the heart's inner watercolor -murals
from the emotions the art  the dreams
intermingling

touching prose of roses
its scent a ghost
thick in the recollection
of farewells

the experiences we parallel
all in literature's Sistine gusto ...
somehow

communication
erected from **** tube boxes
and artifice waves of wide webs

the slang   jive  
secret languages whined
signs and pics
                      depicts / inflicts these times

slays the joy
and lovely words
of tiding  
of wise sayings      you say
with Monet expressions

" you're a lovely day "

ignite me
         (the) Beloved / the songs
the sun
a face of love
a glow


Do you feel me?

* lub dub   lub dub  lub dub*



haiku sonnet odyssey
poetry
that is Life...
                         Today's lesson - (seriously)
                         go learn to fly
                                                  a kite.
for:  the Bureau for Poetic Research... hmm..
Dear Self , Sometimes I Wonder What It Would Really Be Like If I Really Took The Time To Love You .. If I Gave You A Chance Instead Of Ripping You Apart Piece By Piece Every Chance You Get .. I Allow So Much To Happen That I Probably Had Control Of .. I Beat You Up For The Hurt That You Had Nothing To Do With But Yet I Expect You To Be Happy Even When You Not .. You Can't Even Allow Anyone Into Your Live Without Living In Your Pass .. Sometimes I Wonder If Your Heart Is Filled With Hatred And Pain Because You Once Love The Unloved Or Is It Someone That Wasn't Good For You Because Your Scared To Trust And To Believe In Something That You Think Or Even Thought Was Real .. But I Just Can't Love When I Don't Know How My Heart Grew Ice Around It .. But I Can't Even Want Or Hope For Someone To Love Me Or Be In My Life When I Can't Even Love And Trust Myself .. Hmph Ain't That Twisted Up ? I Just Want The Unknown For Myself To Conquer What People Said I Wouldn't Conquer But I Have To Gave Myself The Respect That I Deserve Before I Ask Of That From Someone Else.. I Wonder What Life Would Be Like  ... I Blamed You For Not Letting The Pain Stop ...  But Really The Pain Stopped But You Can Still Feel The Pain Even When It's Over , Because Believe It Or Not You Overcame It .. Now Do Me This Favor Brianna ? Smile Look Into What Your Future Holds In The Palm Of Your Very Own Hands .. Hmph Not That Simple Huh See You Have To See It Or You Will Never See It, Meaning It Will Never Come To Pass But See I Believed In You Even When Others Didn't I Knew You Could Do When You Thought That You Couldn't Do . When Those People Left I Stayed Here But You Over Looked Me , "But Now That You Let You Shine Through You It Has Become Much Easier For Things To Happen For You Saids The Lord." Now Shine Brianna Like I Taught You To Shine .. Walk Like I Taught You To Walk Brianna .. Speak What I Told You To Speak Brianna .. Because That What Makes You Who I Told You To Be .. My Child ☺️
Josh Dec 2011
I got asked today "Why writing?"

"What are you going to do with that?"

Without a chance to answer I went

within myself and asked myself those

same questions.



I figured out why and here's what as well.



I want want to be a writer and a professor

so that I can shape people's minds into a

mold of clay so mushy and shapeless into

something that will enable them to turn into

anything they want. I want to write lines

that keep people on the edge of their seat

waiting to read the next line only to realize that

they are on the last line of the final stanza.

I want my students to read my poetry and

say "wow this professor really knows his stuff"



I want to be able to gain so much knowledge

from my education that I will make minds tremble

like earth quakes to create grand canyons within their

undeveloped minds. I want to impact the world and

leave something for it to learn from. Not just by those

who are going to remember me but remembered by

a piece of paper that other professors tell their students

"write a critique on this and bring it in on monday."



Don't you go telling me that "I'm wrong" that "I'm wasting my

time" because at least I know where I'm going

and what kind of mark on the page I want to leave behind.

I tell you now all those that doubt that I'm going

to get there. I will and all I have to do is show you.

And all you have to do is believe in me, trust me,

encourage me but do not put me down because you

wait and see that I will become the man of my dreams

because he's someone who's going to be someone you

lean on to care for you and read when you're having a

terrible day.



I tell my fingers to type and they type

I tell my fingers to write and they write

I tell my fingers to wrap themselves around

a writing utensil so they can create worlds

of envy, of anger, of a beautiful existence

that will make people cry.



Now let me ask you.

What will you do with your life.

Who are you going to teach and

why are you into what you're into?!?

ANSWER ME THIS AND DO NOT RUNAWAY BEFORE I ANSWER. YOU COWARD.

YOU with your double standards. Why do YOU

want to teach? why aren't YOU doing what you've

always dreamed of? Just cause of insecurities. Hmph.

such a weak person and quick to influence.

At least I know. oh I know and i'll show the world

that I can do whatever it is what i want in the world.
Mia Feb 2013
I wonder who these bosses think they are, bossying me around like some kind of slave. Tea
at 8,tea at 10,tea in between every break. Do they
know the fatigue from the stairs? I sincerely doubt, not with their password controlled elevators.
The other day one of those big men amused me. Mbu tell me Celia, why do u charge the same price even for people who take no sugar. I barely held bac insults and instead said, now if I were to charge according to how much sugar you take, I would charge those that take the price of quarter a kilo since I neither buy in spoons nor cups. And then for you that don't take sugar I would charge for the fuel used to boil the water.
hmph, men!!
Butch Decatoria Jan 2016
The severity of the seriously
scientific professoring of poetic licenses

severing limbs

and one's sanity to turn

into a lackluster one dimensional

word

for word

matter of fact,    i.e. Flat.




Now there is research and refined references

like mad-haired alchemists

having mixed two tinctures

wrongly

             such liquids

exploding

whilst hypothesized

unremarkable through their myopia

faces intimate with the thickest book

make out session

with the obtuse...




A bureau, hmph

an organization dismissing the muses

and the breath

that we devour




a study on the facets

and romance

with life

              written art works

            spoken odysseys

magnanimous numbness of verb




magic of lustrous *******

of star crossed

tempests

evermore a ravenous

soul




Poetry needs no bureau




The heart is only

a lonely hunter

if love were not its prey




to feel free

and truly alive

is the honest purpose

of the written and spoken

word

of poetry

of art     of happiness

dancing the night away

in sonnet streets




who do we endeavor to example

when it is our own pen that must bleed

the awful truths

that needs combustion

the foreplay of time / life whispering in italics

beautifully

breaking down




laughter's tintinnabulations

all the world

all the life        

            our Oyster...




But seriously tho'

what the dealio...?




when I want to hear

a fearless something

soaked

and sensual

and real




so good

the words       bleed    rain

beaus

utter not

the words not words but




electricity

inner watercolors murals

from the emotions

this art dreams

intermingling

touching prose of roses

its scent a ghost

thick in the recollection

of farewells




the experiences we parallel

all in literary gusto




somehow

communication

erected from **** tube boxes

and artifice waves of wide webs




the slang   jive  

secret languages whined

signs and pics

depicts inflicts these times

slays the joy




and lovely words

of tiding    of wise sayings

you say

with Monet expressions




your a lovely day

ignite me

         the Beloved / the songs

the sun

a face of love

a glow




Do you feel me?

lub dub     lub dub




the haiku sonnet odyssey

poetry

that is Life...







Today's lesson -

(seriously)

go learn to fly




a kite.
bleh Feb 2016
there are yellow spots in my vision
i should porbably lie down
^probably
“porbably”
hee hee
then do
:P
fine, i shall
hmph >:




where were you yesterday anyway?
you’re back?
yeah
but, anyway,
??
oh you know, out and
stuff
stuff?
yeah
what stuff?
just

?
revisiting that place
by the park
where those trees overhang the river
that we used to climb as kids
oh.
when our mums met to chat after work
yeah.
i’m not sure why
it felt like we were venturing towards something
we won if we ever got to the top
i know.
i was there.
sorry
and then that day..
my brother won.
yeah.
and the branch..
yeah.
….
can we talk about something else?
yeah, sorry
it’s just…
i’ve been feeling that way a lot lately
what?
that i’ve been striving towards something,
but that in spite the yearning,
all it leads too is
snap, crack, gone?
yeah
...you’re really comparing your ennui to the death of my sibling?
you ******* degenerate.
stop ******* complaining
get a ******* job.
sorry, sorry

i didn’t mean-
no, it’s fine.
i know the feeling tbh
but i still resent the comparison
yeah no,
yeah,
fair.
why were you there anyway?
i mean, it’s a nice park
they put a plaque under the tree, you know
yeah, i know
it’s what happens when your mum knows the councilman
what did it say again?
that’s the thing
i mean, there Used to be words there
Used to be?
did it fade?
no,
i mean, there’s still symbols
bound into rows
and such
and such?
but
they became unglued
unglued?
the thing that makes symbols words,
ran out
ran out?
yeah,
t͚̺͗̿̽̀̀͢h̨̖͇̫̳̹̿̏̄̂̄ḗ̜̜͈͇͕̘̓͒ ̴͕̂̆͒̓̀͘ŗ̳͔̩̭̈ͭ̾͝ẻ̛̌ͨ̽ͫ҉̳̞͓̪̕f̼̹̞̠̟̫̉̆̋̆̋ẹ̸͇̬̩̗̻̆̔͝r̺͖̿ͣ̒͊̅ͤȩ̷̲̣̝­ͨņ̗̼̞̰̥̿̓͆ͥͫ͟c̨̛̪͇̗͇͚̤͑͒̑̃ͥͮ̃̀̀ë́̍͑̈͗҉͓͖̰̖̯̗͉͔̭͝,͔̬ͦ̊͊̾͘ ̵̸͙̼̣̮̩ͨͫͧ̀ͥ͋c̦͓̯ͤͩ̀̓o̵͚̫̠ͥ̍͐̾͂͘͡r̡̮̱̠̟̼̖̗ͤ͑̓̎ͯ̽̎ͮͦ͠r̷͖̰̞̭̰̩̩͖̯͗͒­̊͜ẹ̺͒͐ͯ̈̇͂͗̇͘ș̸̼̹͔ͫ̇ͦͩ̾̎͝p̴͉̰͈ͣ̓̂͂ͭͪ̏ơ̶̭̝͔͚̭̻̟͕̼̅ͪͭͥ͛͋ͪͦ͗n̰̘̲̯̠̺̜­͐̇́͜d̝̼̋͒ͨě̯̅͟͠n̢͙͗ͯ̊͋̾̊ͯͬ̐c͊̽̇ͅe̪̜̫̎̃ͤͨ͘͢,̶͉̼̹̥̙͎̻̜̈́̐̄͒ͮ̓̇͂̽
̡̗­͔͎̟̦̝͖̝̲̍ͣ͗ͤ ̡̬̯̰̦̘̈ͯ̉͗ ̴͎̠̈́̋ͭ ̛͚͚͖͓̿ͤ͞ ̦̺̜̻̖ͪͭͣ͆ͧ͊̄̓ ̼͍͇͔̺̟̓ͯͯ̃ͅ ͎̘̟͚̮̗̙̌ͩ̂͛͋̀̚͢ͅ ̾͑ͩ́̚͏̳̹̼̩̱̳dͦ̎̈̃̑͠͏͍͎̻̳̩͕ͅi̛͈͔̲̥̝̮̼̳ͤ̒͌ͥ̆f͌̄̆ͩ͗ͣ҉͚̹̟̫̬̗f̧̻̞̠͔͔̘̻­̳̂̍̓̓͐͘é̹͖̃̿̆ͭ̐̀r̴̦̳̳̪͐͋͘͟ȩ̈̉ͪ̕҉̳͕̩n͕̤̳͔̖͉͎̣̯ͣͥ̓̅̔͗ͦ̈́̚c̷̭͔͓̮̖̯̒̽­͊e̗̟̞̟̼̓̋̋ͬ́̚͠,͕̙̰̐̈́́ ̯̣̖̗̠͓̼ͮ̆̅͜ ̈̾̍͏͉ā̿̾̑̍͐ͣ̿̓͏̶̥̰͖̤̟͘l̢̥͔̦̜͕̄ͣ̃ͯl̟̩̤̤̺ͧ̐̽̈́̑ͤ͟ ͉̦̮̟͕̯̦͌͗͛̀ṭ̵͈͕͍̙̲̅̓ͮ̃ͮ̃ḣ̴̺̹̙̌̕ͅa͐ͬ̄ͦ̈͌̀ͤ͏҉̣̱̳t̴͉̠̐̾̎͛͜ ̨̫̳͈͔̯̩͖̺ͩ̇̆̍́̃̕͜

huh?
sorry,
it’s just harder to find these days
find what?
the glue.
glue again?
yeah,
that’s the term she used, anyway.
she?
someone else fell from there
that tree?
yeah.
just last year
what happened?
she was concussed, hospitalised, but lived
that’s nice, i guess.
anyway, she claimed she could read it
the plaque?
yeah.
and other things.
other things?
walls
power poles
the ruptures in the pavement,
the gaps between houses
the lost words of derelict places.
what did they say?
she said she couldn’t say
the meanings don’t translate?
something like that,
but also,
      kinda,
it’s words weren’t words per say
  but the murmurs of the glue itself

hmm.
what poppycock.
i mean, pretty much.
but,
you don’t remember, do you?
what your mother had had inscribed that day?
ah..
  no.
sorry.
you couldn’t ask,
   could you?
...
sorry, i don’t mean to pressure
its just been bugging me.

sorry.
i’d rather not.
i’m not..
not really sure how to broach the subject.
fair enough
it’s fine, i’m in two minds really.
oh?
yeah.
i mean, i want to reach an understanding,
but i feel if i do, it’d be
snap, crack?
yeah.
..yeah no, sorry.
mum, and, i…
i dunno.
dfsjgksdfgjldfkjgdfls
do you sometimes feel you can’t get through to others,
or rather, that there’s no way to say what you feel you need to say?
don’t worry, i reckon the feeling's universal
thats not actually that reassuring.
ha, sorry.
but at the least
i suspect it gets easier,
as it becomes less immediate
and more over and done with
...yeah.
i guess
i wrote this a while back. not exactly sure what it was meant to be about anymore
but that's fine too, right?
yeah
Lynne May 2016
Indeed, I can't believe it
It's been almost two years
Since we broke each other's hearts.

Ah, indeed, two years ago you got down on one knee
can you believe it?
You and I?
Were to be married?
I scoff at the fact now;
promising to never trust anyone as much
like I did you.

Looking back though,
all I see was the good in us
the good in you.
It makes me smile now,
instead of weep uncontrollably.

Finally, after almost two years
I feel at peace with your disappearance.

I remember last year,
calling you,
crying,
pleading.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
But now, I look at the phone and roll my eyes
whenever I have the brief thought.
Usually after way too much to drink. Usually whiskey.

I still am in shock. Two years? Impossible.
That means, almost four years ago we met. Weird, isn't it?
I wonder if you think of me with disdain,
or disgust, or sadness, or happiness.
To be honest, I'm not sure if I ever wish to know
how you feel of me.

The reason I write this,
well, I had a dream of you.
As usual, I write my poetry due to dreams
why not?

In my dream, I ran after you trying to talk to you
and you ran away from me, not unusual really.
You finally let me talk to you,
you invited me into your home
showed me pictures of your girlfriend (do you have one? I don't know)
showed me your success and I just smiled
I was so happy for you.
a feeling I haven't ever felt for you since we separated.

Happiness for your happiness.
Hmph, what a concept.

and when I awoke,
I realized I had finally accepted your absence.
Finally. I was free from your *******.
Free from my desire to ever be with you again.
Finally. Free. Free to be free!

I went outside of my tent (I was camping at the time of my dream)
did yoga in a field full of wildflowers
kissed the air
worshipped the warmth of the sun
and let you go.

Finally. Free. Finally.
Almost two years later.

Goodbye.
Shandel Pruitt Sep 2009
I am more than you know...
but a little less than perceived...
i've shadowed a soul
and feigned what's seen
the manifestation of blessings
is a pain in me...
but my heart's prayer
is truly believed...

As i enter this day...
i've got my mind set...
the death of my soul....
will be the growth of what's left...
reality...hmph...
i deny those thoughts...
as my tongue rolls
my battle's pre foguht....

The day progresses on
my feet grow cold...
as fear sets in
the cold takes hold
dragging this frost onward
i approach my world...
admonishments abound
as she breaks me heart...

shocked by her speech....
in my heart i decide...
suicide of myself
it what must be done....
as i surrender to darkness
flame burns within...
and just like that...
i'm reborn again

standing tall and strong...
looking out at his world....
i approach and reach for her...
a prayer to christ
for all he's done....
he killed me off as a child
a made a man from a son....

with my world at hand...
forward we will press
battle onward for love
not a deceptive glory....
Terrin Leigh Jun 2016
some moments can only be described as
"aha" paired with a deep sigh of relief
or
"hmph" followed by a whimper of distress

precious memories of time that
can only seem to be reciprocated
with a guttural noise

"mmmmm" as she falls into
the arms of another who loves her

"aaeehhhhh" as ice water
satisfies thirst by the noon July sun

moans in childbirth,
yelps of fear,
grunts of rage,
whines between tears

swoosh as the end draws near

words run
they leave
just like everyone else
and yet,
I ponder
with words:
wordless beauty
Sometimes, we can't put life into words. Sometimes, it just is. Ironically, this poem uses words to capture the idea of moments in life that overwhelm our vocabulary.
Ant Nov 2019
I am in a Illusion
Floating in and out
I drift into my heart and see who I really love
Brothers, mom, Sister can’t lie that special ex that brought me out of darkness came to mind.
Man I love that girl to death.
But then swiftly the pain of the world creeped upon me.
Showing me all that I have lost.
Do I wanna live when the pain out weights the love that I have in my heart.
I let go hoping this is the end of the road.
I always believed in my heart I wanted to die like a soldier.  
Pain in my body turn to pleasure.
My soul drifts away... I think I see the flames of hell.
Oh **** I guess it may exist...  hmph!!
I did what I did, so Imma face it like a man.
I’m incorporeal
I keep moving seeing the flow that’s traveling me back in time.
My childhood quick glimpse... I took a dip.
Dinosaur
Tyrannosaurus
Styracosaurus
Megalodon
I can see thee
Traveling this flow on the rhythm of time.
I travel to a time where nothing existed.
Only the earth
Am I in a grave
My heart cold I am alone
Are we microbes
Traveling this flow on the rhythm of time.
I’m in space its a natural mystic vibe
The stars Flow by me next the sun
I’m a drift “ oh **** its a black pit ”
I enter the pit
I’m being crushed
Gravity is crushing me
It’s
It’s all around me.
I can’t escape... I let go
As it crush me from my feet to my dome.
This is the end I’m 23
It was fun while it lasted
I’m dead I’m gone
The young man who lost his love.
Gave up in the mind, and his heart cried.
I started to long this ending.
I’m numb to pain i wanna love
I can see the light again.
I am an illusion floating in and out
Traveling this flow on the rhythm of time
I wake up nevermind I’m alive
The lone wolf has risen
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2017
you mature when petting cats... oddly enough, dogs only teach you more routine; owning a cat can make you forget that you even own a cat... it's like misplacing your house keys, and they boomerang back into your concern for them when they need something... namely you... it's completely quantum physics... do i even own a cat? don't know... next times i hear a meow, or sniff a bit of cat-****, i'll let you know.

i also like to call it: in imitation of the crow..
those black shapes perched on t.v. antennas...
just so it feels like i'm an arch,
a shadow... to toy with feeling
being *brooding
... or... let's just say listening
to pop was never as difficult,
as it is now and to feel no shame...
people are more eager to discuss doing
*****-strap-on **** than say
they can succumb to the anaesthetic of
certain pop songs... so...
perched on a windowsill
in turkish akimbo -
part of me was always going to
be mamluk in how i approached
islam.... was there a bias to begin with?
perched and hooded and partially drunk
in a void-thought stupor, "acting" -
as a crow might, looking for romance...
typing at a pace that outpaces
a doctor... pecking at a keyboard...
index, peck, index, peck, index, left hand peck...
plenty of breadcrumbs where that **** came from?
in england they call paracetamol the
universal drug... cures all ills...
babe, i spent over 20 years in england
and i had to rent out a bulgar's
*****... you ain't the only delicacy
worth buying oysters for... ugh, i hate this type
of language, it reminds me of things
i should have forgotten...
   too many celts about... anyway...
but it was a fine balancing act
on the windowsill...
drunk, void, listening to pop...
   and there are soundtracks for
the afternoon, beginning with adelle...
you sort of turn into marble...
and then the odd "nervous" twitch
when you forget consciousness
   perched as you are, like a crow aching
for the opera singers to get flowers thrown at them
and, finally bow... to applause...
                  and you exit the statue pose...
   even i get as finicky as animals
wanting to say so much less:
like the animals in want of saying so much more...
i know a cat meows and wants
so much more to be said, but doesn't...
while i say too much, when in fact i want
to say only as much as the σ meow...
           and it's almost a game of intuition
when investigating animals
and that constant eye-contact to open
doors: we're almost dealing with the concept
of royalty!
or what you do with flints... sharpen them!
and i know how i'm **** schizoi that way,
and rarely but sometimes seeing a lucid
future of a **** sapiens that i like
looking into and try figuring out at becoming...
             natural divisions...
they say...
say: naturally we are math proof
to exceed in practicing it... and then dumb-look lockdown
with the word toward the heavens with head askew: huh?
no honey, tangens... a firm **** take on tragedy.
   i see them all the time, sometimes
a kestrel perches on my fence, sometimes i see crows
staging their right for authority
by picking on: search engine insert:
  bird knuckled neck perch pond...
how i remember...
****! that baking butter! stork!
yep, i can be the one witnessing the fact
that crows can attack storks!
   i just meant bent neck...
so, hum... huh huh... elvis ready...
hmph... thrill seeking, or what the french
called: finally the english, without
a stiff upper lip...
   try elvis, or how democracy is only
democracy with a history,
and quiet a lot of dead examples...
that need more resuscitation than
reincarnation... funny thing with english:
i never seem to hear it "correctly"...
american english is too nasal,
they're knitting spaghetti like wool into socks...
kluściaże...
**** me! heaven descends!
just with that, heaven made it apparent...
distinct syllables!
no games, no enligsh,
if nasal american, then overly glottal english
in the original,
   like talking with your mouth full of food...
if i'm being intimidating,
please forget me,
i once talked with a ******* addict
and she kept me interested by talking
about a lighbulb... and how to not fake
a vitamin D deficiency... like that russian girl
who said: a true sign of aristocracy is to
not ever engage in taking to sun-tans...
so all the essex suntan palours will go bankrupt
and we'll have to import oranges,
and then scrape off the zest
  and scrub it into our skin so we can look
proper Hindi, given our diet... of vindalu...
****-smearing, and gaff... those chillies in..
oh the agony, to think that the turks
pickle them and serve them in kebabs...
the agony!
          comedy and horror... the two should
never meet... thankfully they do...
                  poetry as imitation of tranquiliser...
         as a language:
english and it's ****** shrapnel of conjunctions
and pronoun disputes...
             kinda like thinking about how easily
english can become idiosyncratic
and slang, and slurr...
      it's the equivalent of a ******* drug...
i.e. an existential **** expression...
                              ah, hence the colonialism history...
well.. if i had distinct syllable indicators
that other european languages use (i.e. diacritics):
i wouldn't be speaking all acronym...
finally! the internet proved that talk is cheap...
'cos' everyone just keeps talking!
    and thankfully i just like looking at this crap
than have the throth to take it to and speak it
at a market-place, when i should have been selling bananas.
A simple sound.
A huff of air coming from one's self
Usually meaning that something is wrong

such a sad sound to the normal listener.
jay Jan 2020
choose me or loose me;
im not a backup plan and im definitely not a second choice.
Justin S Wampler Apr 2015
Ring! Ring!



Ring! Ring!

"Ugh..."

Ring! Ring!

"Zzhuh? Whafuck?"

Ring! Rin-

"
AHEM, HMPH, ...hello?..."

"Hey, Jus?"

"Yeah man, who's this?"

"Uhh... How've you been? You okay?"

"Yeah sure man, I was sleeping but whatever. Who the hell is this?"

"..."

"Dude, don't waste my time man I'm going back to sleep."

"...Wait Justin! ...It's your dad! I just-"

"What?... *Dad?
... Really?"

"Yeah! I finally foun-"
SLAM*

Zzzzzzz...
Rielle Vobi Feb 2014
Frankenstein's monster will carve the flesh away from crooked and cracked spine.

He will lay it before him, dine on my corrupt core and chew it and taste it
to his liking.

He will lay it before him until I am ground down like cow in malevolent misery mouth.

I will caress the monster's earlobe like a lover loves to touch tentatively.

I will whisper winsome my gratitude in to his deepening, voracious appetite.

Appetite.

I am appealing; I appeal sometimes.

Monsters don't stop.

He is kind, waving his flag of caustic cautionary tails and tales.

He will enable me still I will violate his violently vile mouth.

I will scream skunk scented bile into his diseased eyes.

I will despise his acid belly.

He will laugh.

He will caterwaul, he will sing his celebrity over my aching guts
that are splayed so ******, flinching and twitching for his feast.

In the least, I will show a tired effort of the finished, final scream.

Kindred severance washed down with the finest of red wine
built over breaking bridges that collapse under this foreknowledge;
the monster mocks and flocks like a fleet of wild birds, inside the
married meat of my stride away.

I won't laugh.
I won't smile.
I won't remember.
I won't want.

I will sail like a baby girl delivered into the peaceable tastes of a beginning innocence.

I won't want to remember.

I will want to view an eye that can't see me.
I will want to smell a mouth that hates me.
I will want to taste a hand that closes angrily around my throat.

I will want to hear.
I will want to hear.

I will want to hear you tell me you love me.
I will want hear inside an ear that listens to me.

I will want to devour a bit of interrogating mayhem before it devours me.

I will survive the monster's prowling, hmph...in his putrid spruce pants
he wears to capsize my tries.

Picasso pictures busy themselves around my waist like your arms wind
up love around that girl's.

Shh.

I will hush my turbulent sorrow.
I will hush my endearing memories of the tingling hands
that stand high above my last love.

Reason's charity could've fought my battle but the monster proved
his dedicated engagement
his engaging affliction; he proved his pressuring ability.

I'd like to dance endlessly.
I'd like to movie inside your misery and dissolve, destroy!

Your disastrous danger.

I need a melody survivable, tender through trials of truth.

I knew there would be new.

I've not ever been seclusive, exclusive to you.
I am intrusively presumptuous.

Accept my apologies, I repeat and I repeat, accept my apologies as I've accepted
anxieties

I never expected an embrace.

I don't expect an embrace.

Like that majestic man sips singular sanctuary of that
fantastic, general, genial girl I gulp blue bottles of sky.

I would prefer you drink of me.

Battered, I believe you but choose
you choose
but you choose
the bruise.

There may never be any new for me of you.
There may only ever be you.

Sip me, as I am your Kiss Elixir, feathering against your sable brushes
seeping today, tomorrow and yesteryear.

The tip of my pink tongue tastes your timid tenderness
and your dreaming and driving distinctions quenches
my desires of today, tomorrow and yesteryear.

I am your Kiss Elixir.

Arctic anger wraps inside simple solitude though I've not tasted our separation.

I've sung through every scathing scream you've ever bellowed.

Won't you have me instead?

I am ended.

The monster's claim is one more; another disparate love.
Jealousy.
I have no idea what you're talking about
go away ... leave me alone
I don't want to do that
I don't want to hear it
hmph ..
he's got some nerve
trying to twist my mind
I'll let him have it alright
if that's what he wants...
hmm....
yeahhhh...
that's exactly what I'll do
WHACK!

ahhhhhh..
I feel so much better now
good night!

— The End —