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Lynne Nov 2019
when you're not sad
is it because you're so blinded
by being so busy
and being so involved
that you cannot see what truly torments you?
are you so absorbed into others
that you forget yourself
and come to find that your heart
is actually bleeding badly?
what do you do with that
cover with more things
or alcohol or love or ***
or jesus christ?
what really solves it?
but solitude and time to feel
but how to gain that solitude
when you're never alone?
Lynne Jul 2019
it is so
that i cannot run
from the thing i wish for
the most in this life
stability and love
from a person who cares
wholly, fully, in depth
why is it that i need this
treasured feeling so deeply?
and why is it that prior
to these days i am spending
that when i came close to
that feeling of love and forever
i ran away and with a knife in their backs?
is it fear that paralyzes me to my ends?
or is it the raw feelings of love
that scatter my emotions to the bitter
ends of hades itself?
it is undeniable that i desire love
and it is undeniable that i hope for finality
ease, comfort, passion, someone to hold me
when the seas are really rough
my golden era is approaching
i feel it in the tips of my fingers
i am hopeful.
i am grateful.
i am here.
Lynne Jul 2019
all you have to do
is reach forward
and take my hand
with the callused side down
don't look at my palm lines
they spell things i wish not to think
just blindly reach
and take with yourself
a picture of what we could be
do not worry about what is
and what was
and what will never be
only look forward, see my shoulders
i'll gently tug you forward
so we can walk side by side
it is me and myself, learned and unlearned
what is now and what is to be
learn from mistakes, do not drag them along
do not bury them deeply in the graves
next to your apologies and dead dreams
follow me, me.
Que serĂ¡, serĂ¡
Lynne Apr 2019
i almost became sad
but the infectious tone
of my own sweet voice
traveled from the recess
of my troubled mind

it spoke loudly, cutting through
the orchestra of sobbing violins
wake up! you are no longer ensnared
for you are powerful and awake
and are able to fully encompass
the beauty that is your own life
own expression and artistry.

you are no longer a captive
of your own fears or dark
worries and anxiety.
for you, it does not exist
your sunshine shall not be stolen
away to the frigid corners
of someone else's battered mind
for you, are light
in a world full of darkness
you are there, called
to be your truest self
and most beautiful
expression of joy
Lynne Apr 2019
for the past 8 months
i've been hating myself
for loving you like this
because you don't respect me
you never have, never will
you cheated
you cheated
you cheated
you were "curious"
you were "wondering
if i was the one"
you "wanted to be sure"
in truth, i couldn't see
the tearing down that was occurring
but now that i finally
i'm sitting here empty
feeling less than enough.
you did a number on me
without me even realizing it
i've got bruises on my ego
on my soul now
who are you to have done this?
is this my karma, my choices
reflected back onto me?
i feel like a mirror of an old person
someone i used to be
battered and broken
when i should be walking on
golden fields of lavender and
smelling sweet kisses of self loving
i needed this. i needed to feel this.
for now, somehow
i will truly

accept the love i think i deserve.
Lynne Mar 2019
i have a vision in my head
of the person you will be
with your long, delicate fingers
and with your love of the sea

i see you in my dreams
daisies sprouting round your feet
for wherever you walk,
there, always the stars meet

aligned in some fashion
the coat of orion bright
and your eyes sparkle gently
in the low, dim lights

i have a vision in my mind
of you, laying across my bed
your body an open book
just waiting to be read.

how i could kiss those lips
so thin and ripe with thought
how i could kiss that forehead
if only this love could be bought

from the store or down the street
i promise, anything i would give
just to have that vision in my head
come right to life and live
Lynne Feb 2019
why is love so complex
why can't it be freeing
in the way i dream
in the way i see
for love shouldn't be so hard
and yet
i can never seem to get it right
it must be me
i must be the problem.
what is it about myself
that i hate so much that
i would be willing to destroy myself
disrespect myself and others
what is it...
blood under the fingernails
sour breath of death
i haven't the slightest clue
but i just want to be happy.
is that such a difficult thing to ask?
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