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Mia Jan 30
I could probably recite the names of all the people i loved who hurt me and i wear their taste like stale food in my mouth.

Jacob who wanted intense and then broke me because turns out he didnt know what it meant.

Stephanie who wanted me to watch her husband take all the things she never gave to me even when i begged. I still see her wrack up my regrets.

Natalie who left when i needed her, after promising that we were a team and she wanted whatever form forever took.

Keith who robbed me. My dreams, my future, my peace of mind, my cash and card too.

Walter who said i was the one. Turns out the one is a diversion when marriage or the bar get tedious.

Joshua who was my first love but flew into fits of jealousy everytime i turned heads

Ken who didnt care no matter how much i wanted him to. He took my virtue my idea of love and turned it to apathy.

Some nights i feel their voices in my head telling me i was not enough, i will never be enough.

I drown them out with my tears, music and heartache until they are just an aftertaste of regrets in my memories.
These scars have names
Mia Aug 2019
Something about the beat of her heart
Reminded her that she was alive
was that thrill she felt or was it terror?

Something about his eyes
reminded her of a hunter watching prey
she couldn't look away from him.

Something about how he cared
reminded her that she was fragile
he cared more than she wanted him to
He pushed her beyond her defenses.

Something about the way he said no.
reminded her that it was his choice
If she lived or died,
if she was going to be happy
it all depended on when he said yes.

Something about the way he made love to her
reminded her that she was a part of him
he owned her, controlled her, took her
he didn't ask, just took. And she gave.
Over and over and over until they lost themselves.

Something about this,
reminded her of that.
They were soulmates.
They were starcrossed lovers.
When you love someone you can never be with, but you live for the little moments with him anyway; because those seconds make you feel more alive than your whole life has.
Mia Aug 2019
But you see me,
even when i close my eyes
when i forget my face.

And you know me,
even when i don't know who i am,
when i forget my name.

You hear me,
even when my words get stuck,
when i forget my voice.

You find me,
even when I am lost
when i forget my way.

You feel me,
even when i am numb.
when i forget my senses.

You love me,
even when i am a mess
when i forget myself.
Mia Aug 2019
I never knew what loneliness was,
until I found myself trapped by these walls.
Powerless, prisoner to my wants, needs, and desires.
Cursed with the knowledge of what I wanted,
but unable to do anything to get it or free me.

The archangel came in that day unexpectedly.
On a wretched Sunday evening;
when all she had done was cry
and feel sorry for herself.

They circled each other warily,
like wolves who just met and
are trying not to trespass on each others territory.

Aren’t you going to say hello? She asked.
In a moment, he replied, I’m looking at you.
Why? She threw back. Certainly took you long enough to visit again.
How have you been, he asked?
I have nothing new to say, she replied.

Michael looked at her, quiet.
Arent, you going to kiss your love hello? She asked.
If I start I won't stop. He said.
And so what? She asked.

Michael wrapped his arms around her,
pressing his lips lightly on hers.
She kissed him deeply,
tongue sliding into his mouth.
She pressed closer against him.
He pulled her in by her waist,
fusing to her body.
Tasting her, inhaling her, touching her,
watching her, listening to her, knowing her.
His soul soaring.

He held her and asked, What do you see?
Everything. Nothing.
All I see is you.
You are everything.

Wrong, he whispered.

There is nothing without US.

She stared into his eyes.
I ******* missed you, Athena.

Finally. She said. And then broke down into tears.
He turned her around; Let it out love, let it out.
I missed you so **** much. She cried
And you came here with your walls high up.
I feel locked out. I feel alone. She said.
No walls that others don’t put up around me.
You have the only key, use it.

I shouldn’t be here right now,
I came in to make sure you were ok
and just to inhale you.

Don’t ever withhold your love from me.
kiss me like the world is on fire
and we don’t ******* care.

Understand one thing.
This addiction will **** me.
I am just trying to postpone death. He said.

She whispered, I can't breathe without you.
He tilted his head, looking into her. I am the air you breathe.
She whispered. You are.
He wrapped his arms around her,
slipping her onto her back.

Hovering over her.
His wings spread out, white and beautiful.
He moved down slowly,
kissing her sincerely and lovingly.
letting his tongue press into hers,
his hand on her hip.
His heart flowing into her.

She said you have no idea how much I needed that.
She kissed him lovingly,
tasting his steadfast devotion.
She took his heart with its steady beats and gave him hers,
beating erratically. She held his face lost in his spell.

He opened his eyes to drink in every ray of light bouncing off his woman’s exquisite body.
She looked back,
absorbing every emotion on his face.

I have never loved like this before. He said.
Ever? She asked.
Ever. He said.
He kissed her passionately, wantonly, hotly.

How have we lived without each other for centuries?
I can’t take the agony, She said.
We have never been apart, in our hearts. He replied.
She kissed him fiercely, stripping away his soul and body,
loving him desperately.
I have never loved this way either she sighed.

No human has, he responded.
We are not human. We never were. She said.
He held her close. if I asked you to stay like this, with me.
Just like this, would you?
For how long? She asked.
Forever. He said.

She pulled him tight against her. Stay.
Try to tear me off you. He said.

Why do you still love me more than anyone else Michael?
I know you have had other lovers, other lives;
I know you have been on different planes throughout time. However, your heart pulls me.
Every single moment of every day.
Eventually, the pull will be the end of me.

I love you for following me throughout time.
For coming here to my prison to visit me.
For letting me find me and be me.
And for pulling me close until I can't breathe
each time you see me.
I worship you, my goddess, he whispered.
I need you. Always and forever, she said.

I have to go, he said after a while.
She kissed him tenderly,
missing him already.
Be well, and be safe.
Stay in love.
I am in this with you.
He kissed her forehead sweetly and vanished.
Mia Aug 2019
It has been 6 years,
since I left.
6 years since i shut off the voices.
I thought silence would drown them,
that solitude would fix me,
that love would prevail.

Today, i gave in.
Returned to the darkness,
and the pain which is an old friend.
Today I am me,
goddess of war and pain.
and lovingly in my demons embrace.
Mia Oct 2015
Its been a hundred days,
I cant say I have kept count.
Its a little hard to hold on to reality when what feels feel falls apart.

Its been 100 or so hours. Honestly the days and hours seem a little too familiar.
they are on first name basis already.
I can't say what bothers me more.
That I can't remember, or don't mind not remembering.

When did this become an easy to forget thing.
A thing where I don't care whether you are here or not.
It took forever to get you out of my head,
I didn't even realise I was doing it till I realised I didnt care.
Here. There. Together. Apart.
It all felt the same.

Its been a minute. 100 minutes.
Not that am counting, I don't see the point.
It was just clear I couldnt wait to start my new life,
those plans didnt involve you.

I hope you dont take it the wrong way but for me its over.
If i did this it would be because I don't want to be alone.
I was alone with you anyway.
Just so we are clear it is your fault.
You did this to us. Now I am past your crazy and aint no turning back.
Mia Mar 2015
I have been chasing dreams,
Of you and me.
Chasing the ghost of something that could be.
Hoping that somehow, someday,
I will wake up to you again.
Sometimes as i sleep I forget what part is real and what is a dream.
I relive being with you, loving you.
And I wonder if it would always end this way.
Were you always meant to destroy me?
Or did I drive you to this?
Did my dreams somehow escape before I could wake up and watch them come true?
With you, I need a thousand deep breaths before I hope;
That we were real.
That you loved me.
You were my dream catcher.
And somehow you slipped away.
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