"exsistence" poems
She was dancing on the edge with a giggle
Teasing and taunting him
with the danger of all he loved to be lost
Careless
Reckless was her exsistence
and he looked on wearily
but kept his distant
Pleading
"Please let her fall I've grown so tired of this"
Feb 16, 2013
Feb 16, 2013 at 10:46 PM UTC
Please don’t pity my situation
I’m frozen in situ
Don’t smile and **** your head
Don’t say awww or that’s a shame
Don’t pat my hand and assume it will happen
Don’t tell me I’m missing out
Don’t tell me I’ll never understand until it happens to me
Don’t assume your life is more fulfilled then mine
Don’t pretend it makes you more mature then me
Don’t make me a faux Aunty to another friends fruit
Don’t joke about lending or sitting like it’s the same
Don’t imagine Yours could ever be a substitute for mine
That they could replace the ache in my heart or fill it with what it’s missing - even worse be greatful for the privilege
Don’t act like it’s a grand gester like your giving my life meaning
When things are awful and bad don’t tell me you stay for them and use them as an excuse to not walk away
Don’t tell me if I had I’d under stand
Don’t make me feel incomplete because I haven’t - I’m already feeling it
Don’t call me lucky because I sleep in
Don’t say “nice for some” when I go out it isn’t my choice
Don’t assume this is about freedom
Don’t pretend it will happen one day
Don’t put your false hopes onto me
Don’t assume he will leave me if I don’t deliver - we’re much more then potentials Ps
Don’t assume it’s because of the weight
Don’t give me a gimmick or tips
Don’t tell me your storys
Don’t talk about it or predict about it
Dont tell me about feelings in your waters
Don’t treat me like this is my only purpose
Dont think I get hurt because you grow and blossom in a way I can’t
Don’t assume I’m bitter and resentful
Don’t pretend I can’t be happy for you
Dont treat me like I’m broken like my whole exsistence revolves around a broken womb
.......I’m so much more
.......I’ve seen so much more, felt so much more, grown and lost
.......I live so much more and want so much more
.......I have more plans and options then you can imagine
My back up plan is full of love and life still!!
(C) Ashley Kane FB
Mar 31, 2018
Mar 31, 2018 at 9:56 AM UTC
I feel humility has hit a brickwall
in the wake of technology
and empathy is out cold
The reprecussions far from decent
It's reality TV on speed
Racing with our conscious
Deluded minds recognize with a
Virtual exsistence
As a human I amit this
in the hopes the message will wake
the warped sims
and help them find discipline
Jan 9, 2013
Jan 9, 2013 at 3:25 PM UTC
If you can't see,
How can you expect to be free,
Sitting on your knee,
Taking it all,
Paying a hidden fee,
To the engine.
Selling your soul,
Thinking you're not part of the sin,
And then wondering why does it smell so foul.
You're in it,
And so am I,
And so are the masses.
Programmed over the eras,
To chase the escape,
Forgetting that it's just vape.
Who are we kiddin?
We all can see,
Fom the seats we're sitting in,
Absorbing the malicious,
Expelling the benevolence,
and being blatantly shameless,
Forgetting that such an exsistence should be nameless.
But here we are,
Here we are,
Smitten by the evil kitten,
Claiming what can we do,
What can we do?
Who are you shittin?
Who are we shittin?
But ain't it fittin.
I guess we do belong,
We did reap what we sowed,
And we did it all together.
Here's a pill,
Forget that it'll make you ill,
But this is it.
There is no escape.
So why are we looking for salvation,
In the new phone,
In the company raise,
In the new hand bag.
Same fallacy,
Different phase,
Moving on.
The salvation you seek,
Is something that you'll find inside,
And even when you do,
She will never stick around.
So accept,
That every day won't be amazing,
And don't forget,
That everyday doesn't have to be bad,
And that's what this life is made of,
Till the day we all are just vape.
Oct 13, 2015
Oct 13, 2015 at 7:45 PM UTC
Just to level with ya
I'm not on a level with ya
I'm my super futuristic swag ish
The kinda ish you cant cope with
Nine Lives
No worries the mayans calendar brought no end for me
I'm an entity
Reincarnated many times past
They say seeing is believing
Watch how my soul last
Throughout time like a fine wine
I'll make my impression
Take note of this life lesson
many have tried but there is really no one like me
I come from dimensions ascended from queens
Supreme being
Check my pedigree
Things mere mortals can't see or even relate to
If I were you I would bow down to my greatness in front of you
No reason for the southern hospitality
But no confusion or illusion
I'm a southern girl until they bury me
Only the deep can contemplate the inner working mechanisms of this story
Destined for greatness
Leaving my mark embarking on this journey
I'm under appreciated
So I emancipated my mindset
And went on a diet dropped alot of dead weight
To think with a higher realm of reason
Lest we forget I speak with foreign tongue
To those who can't comprehend my exsistence
So in close i'm me
I'll never be residual
top notch first round draft pick
I'm a truly unique individual
I dont know another way to be
Feb 20, 2013
Feb 20, 2013 at 3:01 PM UTC
I have hung my self to dry on the lines of a greater theory
I am not me anymore
I feel pity for the woman inside of me
I feel pity for my greater infant that slowly faints in the darkness
and I feel pity for my health
I feel pity for the fact that I feel pity for my very self
I have lost control of mental wealth
completely embedded in the filthy secrets and the stealth
A simple careless whisper will do me well
the years I have disguised them time and time again
but quite honestly its been nothing but hell
time and time again I fell
time and time again put under that ***** spell
time and time again I have let you in after you rang my rusty doorbell
and time and time again I have asked you to leave or dragged you out
and bid you my simple farewell
from you
love
love
I have rebelled
I cant stand the taste of you
or even bare your smell
Im am sealed in this shell
love
love
you have made me unwell
I speak to you, not a person
but the emotion itself
locked with the carved letters of
blood
blood shed by so many men in our history
and a mortal death for the hearts of many
If I can turn you into something I could touch I would suffocate you
and rid of our exsistence, to speak quite bluntly
oh love how you make the skin on my stomach feel the bone in my back
like a starving child caved into emptiness
I feel the impact of your dread on my body physically
and oh how you eat away at me
and dig me so far into this abyss with your anarchy
how you breathe in me awfully and tend me to be angry
oh but how I yearn for your beauty
in the back of my mind I must admit
for the first time I will release the child confession
of my ample and frigid like weakness
I feel my very marrow deteriorating with thoughts of you
love
love here me when I speak to you
you live in happy homes and in the hearts of few
and have become such a taboo
love tell me what can I do to undo
the witches and warlocks in my souls venue
the black voodoo and the monstrous zoo
that infested my purity and scorned my very tissue
time and time again I have thought this through
but where can I go to repair the damage when love is the answer
when the answer is
you
Nov 16, 2010
Nov 16, 2010 at 3:21 PM UTC
Symbolize no lies and the flip side of white like Anubis
From noobin' to getting a new *****
No birth on earth, not lucid
Off my knees with no assist
**** a trip never lit and still lifted
Used to quit for a bit, but the G too loud I listened
**** boys out my vision
Questioned exsistence, doubts had no limit
2 to run a business
1 of those disposed the closed
Honor roll for being on the role, never missed like a ***
Wished to be what I seemed to be on the screen; so vivid
Regretting lies in this life all the time now I'm fine being just David
Universe seems different
BS all around got me bent
Dead bird, you no fly
Old ***** no reply
Childish, you still whine
You full of it, like a cyst
Cat killa, ask yo sis
Smooth talk, **** that swiss
Made my way without an *** kiss
Money off my wishlist
Summer coming like my ****
Trill kicks, gold wrists, yeah all thrift
Never trust those slick lips
Better off a pugilist
Swollen fist, not a pacifist
No front, my diction real ****
Get you ****** with no diss
Limp **** still leave her lispin'......I'm not even playing
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014 at 3:38 AM UTC
My head in riddles,
poisonous snakes latch onto every thought,
every feeling, leeching out every essense of
purity until I'm left dry in thrist.
I feel the pressure of the acids pulsating through
every nerve of my living body, slowly torturing,
paralyzing me from the inside out.
But I can still feel the dim flicker of light,
the one feeling, the strongest of them all,
hidden the deep in the caverns of my exsistence.
I will crawl with my fingernails, with every
last breath to reach this light.
I will bleed before I allow myself to become
paraslysed into darkness.
These devious creeping shadows will be cast out,
the abundance of light will take over, I will be free.
I am ready to step into self liberation.
Jan 3, 2016
Jan 3, 2016 at 8:29 PM UTC
Now I just wanna know one thing
When do we draw the line between insanity
and creativity
because if sitting in your room for hours talking to your self is insane
then take me away
but I bet Fredick Duglas did the same thing
when he was in jail and the only person he talked to was the ceiling
and if banging your head against the wall means your crazy
then lock me up baby
because when I cant get the end to a poem right
it will keep me banging my head all night
and if thinking outside the box
and questioning exsistence
means your insane
I think your crazy because if that is insanity
we all are insane
people have come up with things
that make others look at your crazy
and you cant just tell me that me thinking
using oil is crazy
I'm losing my mind to insanity
the insane people of the world
are the people who change it
Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks
Columbus, Ghandi
Martin Luther King, Jesus
Einstine, Mr.Peabody
and everybody
who has an idea is insane
they are insanely great
because insanity is what changes things
Insanity makes the world a better place for you and me
so why don't
we instead of pushing the insane person aside
listen to what they have to say
You might learn something
and you may even realize being insane is a good thing
Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014 at 10:30 PM UTC
He takes the brush
full of endless wonders
never runs out of
stories to ignite aflame.
Yet every day he seems
to fall into deep thought
in some other world
where beauty excists
inside a brittle crystal.
The brush, shattering it
to design carefully another
wondrous form of art.
Painter, draws the life
while the composer plays
music for the silky soul.
Poet, writes the lines
of eternal exsistence
while the dancer gives
heart for the movement
Of life.
Nov 18, 2018
Nov 18, 2018 at 12:43 PM UTC
I pressed my prancing ear upon the chest of the thin melancholic paper
the words dripped like purluded dreams of infants
I beckon to trace my invisible whispers deeper into the parchment
the pen touched the edge of tatter
and my veins pump the bluest blood through my fingers
Im bound by the seduction of the black art
mused by its very exsistence
Im in a constant dilemma of letting it persecute my very movements
hurl my insides to make them distorted
it is what allows me to walk straight
emotions spit darkness into the light
and I am basking in the harmonious sun
leaving splinters on every pore
and I beg for
more
be so kind to speak harshly
too lovely to think smoothly
and open your skin so I can peer inside everything you
believe in
waters thrusting without a sound
in my playful obstacles of the notes that bound my lips together
and I am purging thoughtful gazes in every direction
or so to speak
I stand and hear snaps applause for my devotion
admiration and unforgiving blunteness
into my perception on the side walk the brim of homelessness sits on
and I hum as I walk away from shaken lands
the happiest tune I ever learned
the findings are premorse
and the abstract facts are not enough
you see
when I speak, forgive me but I always try to transgress
logically
fame in the writing of words are a bore
and there is no cure in them
speech is in the pit of the abdomen
words are poetry spat out from the core of any woman
Nov 1, 2010
Nov 1, 2010 at 6:27 PM UTC
I guess
The world is harsh
I guess
I'm just not nice enough
I guess
I'm just a piece of ****
All these things I guess
All because you told me so
But check it
This is what I know
I'm awesome
I'm ****
I'm winning in life
Y'all just messy
I'm a one of a kind
And I'm hard to find
I'm writing this rhyme
Just to waste some time
And relax my mind
Can you see that line?
Yeah you crossed it
Cause you lost it
Sent it to prison and salad tossed it
I'm nauseous
Every time I think
About your exsistence
It's a resistance
Electrical in nature
Sudden like the rapture
Painful as a fracture
I write my own crimson letter
Cause in the end,
I'll always be better
Mar 30, 2012
Mar 30, 2012 at 5:24 PM UTC
beckon to me with quivering lips
as I stare into the sun of all my innumberable objects
that swam in the days in where
our skin would touch
and i laughed
and sighed
and told you that I think
your the moon thats cradles my bed
life in junction
life in motion
under my little feet
Im hungover
and i sing out loud all the songs that you
hate to hear
maybe you are not for me
nor I you
and Im just too much
Im breaking your basket with all my eggs
and my childhood is incomprehensible
and who I must be
clings to you shirt
and I am detached from your mind
I see you as I as my coffee in the morning
twice a year
and Im followed by herds of
paper , and no paper
simmer me down from this restless place
that isnt so restless
where i can turn off all these machines
so that I am detached from this
society
I despise so much
lay me out naked on a tree
but only by myself
and only with you
or you
I have found a new passage way
and I find my remarkable exsistence
pulled up higher
by means of these new words I utter
from pure distraction
this is my distraction
from all this cruelty
Nov 2, 2010
Nov 2, 2010 at 7:45 PM UTC
w h a t w a s t h e p o i n t o f s t a y i n g a l i v e
i f e v e r y t h i n g i l o v e e i t h e r l e a v e s m e o r d i e s ?
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 12:00 AM UTC
December 28th 2001 Istarted a new job
The specified criteria immense
The role involved challenging
The hours 24/7
For life
Payment far richer than gold or silver
Responsibilities include
Teacher , adviser ,playmate,nurse
Protector,counsellor,supporter,
Listener,Provider
My rewards unfold before me each passing day
You are .... The very essence of my exsistence
The fruits of all my labour and sacrifice
Your inner beauty reflects my heart
Your intelligence will be an asset to the next generation
Your laugh is infectious
Your thoughtfull ways touch my soul
You are loved and remembered by all you meet
As beautiful as a new day that dawns
My daughter
My inspiration........
Aug 4, 2013
Aug 4, 2013 at 3:34 PM UTC
Driving through the
dark and dreary
night
Fleeing about the
looming clouds in
flight
Glancing down on
the flickering lights
below
Not about to
question all the
hopes
dreams
harships
of the bearers
the light does
lift
Such a lonely
exsistence a highway
lives
Mar 10, 2013
Mar 10, 2013 at 4:18 PM UTC
this
this is really killing me
I write those words with my brittle bone
its as real as the water that floods the ocean
as real as the natural disaster that destroys land
and kills so many innocent souls
you need to understand
this is
its killing me
and I feel death on every tip of each sense
and my sixth
I remember your face
oh how I remember your smile
and with that
I see my skin shred
my mortal being abruptly being taken apart
by your furious eyes
eyes that are furious for me
or atleast I would like to think
that a atom of emotion remains towards
my reched being
am I to blame
for that uncanny minute
where I leaned over and touched your lips
was I not as condemed as you were
but I am the monster
who let it happen
where you not apart
of the offspring who took over our land
but it is me
I am the ruler of my life
and my obligation
how could you torutre me for that
I am lying here
so helpless and so mute
and my eyes are red
with the blood that I shed for you
and I shake
and I shiver
and I quiver
just thinking about your name
I am the hero
for even letting my mind think of your exsistence
what a vital leap I take into my sanity
everytime I think of your humanity
Dec 5, 2010
Dec 5, 2010 at 5:15 PM UTC
A water paint canvas layed out before me
And how it bends and sways with a natural aesthetic
Sensation is wonderful- yet, Curious to why we see?
And how majestic a catarac stare would be
An Organic exsistence with no visual influence
Drifting through perception in an absent lucence
Constructing a world in your own minds eye-
like a life like game in a virtual pervade
One could find luxury in a simple pig sty
Hearing only rumors of the turning sky
Character would be a conception so profound
The persuasion of Vanity - nothing but sound
Re-building this earth into your own image
From dust to form and beauty to wreckage
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 11:42 AM UTC
He wore a stripped shirt
that resembled the twist of serpants
though he smiled warmly his eyes were
steady on the dollars
placing labels and badges on all
the soldiers fighting to pay rent
and live in times so far from purpose
I kick back and watch him scribble
false notice
prescribing a pill to every effect from
this life
its left me purging
I hate the institutions
the corrupt unjust
sick ***** sedating my
passions and
numbing me up
smart went to another place
outside your local village where
the villians mix the chemical
perserves in your children's fillings
I cant help the way I percieve what
I have seen
I cant help that my fall from innocents
was rougher and obscene
I cant stop thinking of the misuse
of power and money mongers
I want to burn the kingdom
hoping it'd grow back to something better
misguided we walk off cliffs and to the slaughter
or we come back as our fathers paper back novel
excellence for me has fallen to resistence
because I simply cant stand this kind of exsistence
go ahead and direct me to another perscription
corrupt everything in my mind that makes me human
I'm ODD to the extreme !
I reject most of you and the latest thing
and now this man sits here
telling me I'm sick and spiraling
as he shakes hands with satan
defiling minds from eyes that only see green
and I pay my way to see this jackal conspiring?!
You can keep your advice your diagnoses and the dice
I'll leave you now to gamble with the rest of the villager's lives
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 9:13 PM UTC
beckon to me with quivering lips
as I stare into the sun of all my innumberable objects
that swam in the days in where
our skin would touch
and I laughed
and sighed
and told you that I think
your the moon thats cradles my bed
life in junction
life in motion
under my little feet
Im hungover
and I sing out loud all the songs that you
hate to hear
maybe you are not for me
nor I you
and Im just too much
Im breaking your basket with all my eggs
and my childhood is incomprehensible
and who I must be
clings to you shirt
and I am detached from your mind
I see you as I see my coffee in the morning
twice a year
and Im followed by herds of
paper , and no paper
simmer me down from this restless place
that isnt so restless
where I can turn off all these machines
so that I am detached from this
society
I despise so much
lay me out naked on a tree
but only by myself
and only with you
or you
or you who dispersed me as a child
I have found a new passage way
and I find my remarkable exsistence
pulled up higher
by means of these new words I utter
from pure distraction
this is my distraction
from all this cruelty
Oct 31, 2010
Oct 31, 2010 at 8:48 AM UTC
Blessed hatred
push me in
As many more mourn my stand
It's too high
cliche
controlling
Confusing
But I love it.
It built me up,
Gave me rules that changed my exsistence
I might not follow through
But the pang of guilt at deserting reminds me of my stand....
It gave me values
Love,
Life,
and reasons for actions
My words depend on it
my appearance, actions and all
It's not boring as they say
But the excitement of growing pushes me on
*****
*I might seem weird
wacky
Or brain washed
but the courage to face each day
my life has gotten
Living by Grace bound by laws....*
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015 at 3:43 AM UTC
From the moment of my exsistence
gravity bound me to low lands. Holding me firmly
under a sun with no mercy
to the thirsty earth.
I prayed to my Beloved for rain
From the miracle of our encounter
Love swept me above the drought Our bodies
collidng, tasting like thunder
ecstasy drenching the parched dirt
I pray to my Beloved to rain
Feb 15, 2013
Feb 15, 2013 at 8:01 AM UTC
The taste of cigarettes has become a trigger
tugging on my memories of intimacy with women
the mere thought alone of smoking is ***
I smoke a lot
lighting that cigarette with fire
inhaling that smoke
that sensation tingling through my veins
exhaling then inhaling
again and again and again
sometimes inhaling deeper
and exhaling slower
I love to watch the smoke plume out of my mouth
and linger in the air
it's such an intriguing contrast
between the oxygen and smoke
though sometimes I get lost in it,
this cloud of death
and see it bigger than it is
sometimes I forget to breathe
this is a habit of mine
pretending that I don't need air
I sit there motionless
as the veins in my neck
begin to protrude out from under my skin
and my head becomes heavy,
too heavy to keep up straight,
and my mind becomes light
then, as always, I open my mouth
and voraciously inhale some oxygen
I guess there's just something in me that wants to breathe.
A beautiful woman walks across the street in front of me
*** ignite, inhale, exhale
I turn up the music in my headphones
then, she makes eye contact with me with this look in her eyes
it was deeper than what was in between her thighs
and as if she could hear the music in my head
the flow of her body as she walked away swayed to its rhythm
this seemingly insignificant moment turned into something beautiful
it was euphoric
this simple acknowledgement of exsistence
of which I had experienced so many times before
had become enough to distract me.. . to distact me. ..
to distract me from the cigarette in my hand
which was now ashing itself
there was nothing ****** about it yet the after effect felt just as good
but it was a different kind of good
a good I could only feel from that moment alone
I looked down at my cigarette, now half gone
and contemplated on whether I should finish it or not
I stood up and walked to the edge of the sidewalk
and as I threw the un-finished cigarette down into the gutter
I realized that
Life is ***
there are so many things out there to ****
so many thoughts to ****
so many vibrations to ****
and I would like to **** for a very long time.
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 29, 2013 at 1:21 PM UTC
infused for merely much
you did touch me lightly
like a brooch you hung on my chest like a
diamond
yes young man like a diamond to my chest you did cling
but not to my heart
a representaion of your stunning eyes
my mind has stopped
as the story sinks in
of one sided forgotten hours
sipping on wine in dusty corners that will never be cleaned
your thoughts still lay drunk in that broken room which belongs to me
a room I never go in, but every now and then will acknowledge its exsistence
your thoughts sit and wait for me to open the door
so mine could meet yours
but I never will
as kind as your hand may be I cant accept to hold it
for I would be causing you more pain if I did
I feel how your sad patience turns into anger every so often
and I hear the screaming in my head
but I cant control what I dont feel
forgive me
Nov 2, 2010
Nov 2, 2010 at 8:42 PM UTC
Stone
swathed in silk
trembles ripples
beneath the lines
that write my exsistence
Palm to flesh
caress
Lips wet
whisper miracles and witness
Love evoL
ascend
My belly tightens
Flushed
******* rise
and fall
rise again rapid
Blood pounds
rushing
hips push
drenched in sense
ation
euphoric fixation
His mouth
stealing noise
off my tongue
an aria begun
and ended
witnessed
Love evoL
He ascends again
May 7, 2013
May 7, 2013 at 7:56 PM UTC