I am no longer
A ****** being.
I get more from a right touch
Then the aforementioned ******,
I have died to the idea-
that you can take me somewhere I haven’t already been
without wanting me in a fresher way
then to lay on and then next to me

The drop of your eyes
As they dart away from my own
I want that
I want the tight grip of your hand
Around my ankle
The insistence of your words on mine
Panting, eager, delicate
conversations
that converge into familiarity

I am no longer
A ****** being
But I am drawn to sheets
As an entity-
As a home for intimacy
But it is most intimate
When they are still cold
Under my goose bumps

I resolve myself
To the longing
For something more then just a body
And a body
Tangling
I want to eat your temperament
For breakfast, lunch, and diner
And then rest on the bare chest of someone
Who will still want me there when I wake up.

Time separates us in the most tragic of ways
My 21st century mouth is wet for you
My tongue would rain on your rose petals
And nourish your palms, eyes closed, panting, words.

I grow from your golden ashes a woman
The roses have wilted and left only death cherries
I eat them one by one- I snack on the forbidden fruits
And stain my lips with the darker juices

My words are weakening with my world
I come to you- palms flat on the dirt
Pining for your pinning language
And I will eat them too, swallow them and wait

Until further instruction.

I’ve gotten used to being set

Set aside

Set straight

Setting like the sun on the idea of happiness

Dying to so many dreams

I don’t have enough phalanges to count them on

People hurt me because they

Think they know me



(You don’t know me, not even a little)



I had forgotten how it feels when you hold me

I had lost the lust to know you

Blade sharp visions

Cutting away at my ability

To hold up my life card

I want to punch out and leave.

Pleasure and pain concurrent

*** and little deaths roll together

I have never spelled it out before

Your ***, your ***- your species, your intimacy

It murders my self-confidence

It leaves me barer than birth

And hungry for something

That isn’t real



(And you still don’t know me)



tears are my life’s work

blood is my excuse for living

I leave it in the veins

Because anything else would be

Too messy.

In my fantasies

We watch football on the couch

Drink beers with fancy labels

And I fall asleep on your shoulder.

I could make a whole life

In the small of your back

In the space behind your ear

I would color in your lines

And connect your dots.

We would be childhood happy.



(You don’t want to know me)

I am the very empty shell of human ingenuity

Lost my luster and imagination

I can only put together what already exists

And call it new.

Now introducing the I-microwave

Featuring wifi

And a camera for those moments wasted

Waiting for hyper-sugared molecules to heat.

Blessed with uselessness

I bunker down in your nearest department store

And gain much needed dust.

I am zeros and ones in the system

1 kn0w N07h1n9

***** to the wall

I shrivel and die alone.



I am the ingenuity of the human shell

Lost in my own insecurities, my imagination runs wild with flaws

I can invent everything and anything

When I’m not focusing on myself.

Now introducing my spleen,

Featuring My right ventricles,

And my wiggling fugus-blackened toe nails,

All acting in accordance with my most important *****.

Blessed with uselessness

I bunker down in my loveless cubicle

And crave much needed attention.

I am nobody and everybody in the system

I know nothing

***** to the wall

I shrivel and die alone.



We are not so different you and I.

I invented you to keep me going

You depend on me to do the same.

The trees all bow to you there

The sun knows that it is welcome

And it graciously gives me smiles

I wear them like overalls



My feet meet clay

I can tell I was born here

That this is the clay

This is the clay that bore me

And I want to scream, “WAIT”

Because you all are missing this

This is the meaning

Or at least the place where meaning is found



In this moment

The ground feels cool and ripe with ideas

With art

With love

(With youth and pain)

With feelings

I’d know this place anywhere

Like a caged bird knows it has a nest

Out there

somewhere



And I want to whisper (wait)

Because to yell at this place

Would crumble it and me to the ground

This is were my soul lives

Because the trees all bow to you there

And the sun knows it is always welcome

there are moments when

I am, from myself, briefly removed-



enough to realize how great I really am,

- now is one of those times

(so hold on to your skull)



all the energy in my sneeze

as it pushes its way through my body

at binding speeds

all the energy

that falls forward

pausing my personal time and space

(a feat for me, at least)

and forcing my eyes to close

THAT is a TINY THING MY BODY DOES

and I don’t even want it to happen

so just wait for it

because when I can muster

all the energy of a tiny sneeze

to feel something for you

to take idea for a tiny vacation of the mind

some place quiet,

warm and dry

but not at all reaching

the evil extremes of any such foolishness

and write them into a poem

O man, are you in trouble then.

Gaia, you roam with me

And all I can give back is a carbon cocktail

2 parts oxygen, 1 part carbon

you fence me in safety when no one can

here I become your apprentice



______________

   Signature Here



Bring me up in the ways of the every deity before me



I want to blueberry your life

Add sweet perfection a ton peau parfait

Blemish your face with kisses,

Rogue you to puddles

Drink you in, have you for all meals always



I want to bless you

And deputize the dirt under your fingernails

Commit you to my earth tones

Paint you in abstraction

Be with you- alone in me



Here it is, my blanket of self,

Given unto the lunar entities

Wash out my stains

Hang me to dry in the sun

Let me get new life from the air



Out of all this

Drag from my sole

The one with the toes

Drag out my light

Use it to find yourself

And be constant to you