For some of us it was Valentine’s,
for some of us it was the first day of lent.
So what are you going to give up?
She was sulking on the couch,
he was doing coke in my living room,
and there were strangers in my home,
I’d let them in.
I was just sipping lime and gin.
They wrecked my house,
and I let them.
I said, I’m serious
what are you going to give up?
And we went around the circle,
one by one:
I told him to
stop doing coke,
I told her to
stop dating older men.
They both said no,
they tell me to stop being a buzzkill.
The room swelled. We moved downstairs
and she was
dancing on a pole,
and he was talking business
with people I didn’t know.
And I was taking shots of ***** then
because
I wanted to feel like
a swing set.
I was swaying and
he was holding me upright
and he was
placing his jacket on my shoulders,
I have always been the coldest.
His arms cinched around my waist
and he was like a life vest.
And for a moment
I was above water,
or at least not drowning.
On the counter,
there were wilting roses and
chocolate covered strawberries.
In the mirror the word LOVE
spelled out EVOL.
There was pink on all the walls,
a bowl of candy hearts that said,
I don’t know how to be sweet
I don’t know how to be soft
He was playing with my hands
and tracing circles in my palms
and I was letting him.
I was getting drunk,
and he was begging me to
take another shot, and to
take another shot, and to
take another shot,
to break my will.
He found a way into my bed,
he asked if he could stay
and I don’t know why I let him in.
He was not special and
I was not that drunk anymore.
It was lent and I was
going to give it up,
give it all away,
give in.
It was lent and
I was going to
give up.
