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"begrudging" poems
I sit doing my calculus homework The homework that I should have done yesterday The numbers swim in front of me Until they spell out your name I take your derivative To find the critical points And realize that our entire Not-quite-friendship Has a downward slope. I still ride that curve down Pretend I am falling in love Instead of falling deeper and deeper Instead of what is really just Begrudging tolerance. My homework remains undone.
0
Oct 2, 2013
Oct 2, 2013 at 6:40 PM UTC
Calculus
Rain drops run like tears down the window as my Car speeds past another Lay-by lamenting those past bring no solace at the horror of those yet to come ahead an old man struggles his Car is aged, broken down every mile a small mercy as desperately he hopes to carry on begrudging my car’s reliability, I look in sadness as we pass him, he looks wistfully as the sun dances on my shiny paint how I wish I could stop! give him my engine! transfer my fuel! maybe give him my tires! the Road is yet too long I have no strength for it no yearning to drive another Mile best to give to those who want that they may travel past and smile
0
Aug 16, 2014
Aug 16, 2014 at 9:15 PM UTC
In the Car
in ashes hidden, smoulders god of love from matted dancer's focus conflagration purely come continues still perhaps in empty homage of a sa ta na ma personage of ((Shiva)) white bones pierce the sky in upward curtain-seethes of heat beyond imagined burning hells... the triad ventures into zero-zones of anti-life, sands of absolute defeat. shadow trust imparts a silent teacher's mantras; soothing psychic words, "Bala" and "Adi-Bala" carry over dunes of morbid thirst-- the gape of ancient serpent-maws choking dust of frightened, elephantine skeletons fissured by immobile sun-- their inner sound become cool water of a summer stream in timeless desert, traverses strain of royal line: god-fated tutelage of seedling savior, lightning skill with bow and virtue sinew shining arms horizon's arid form: despite begrudging honor kings expect when offspring given after years in hard-earned sacrificial grace: yet still obeisance ends in facing demonaic rage to which is pitted youth to slay-- despite allay by symbol feminine, as if to question her abode would conjure her in dire storm and quake announce gigantic step and hairy gulf-- with arrow sprays destroy Thataka's trident, curdling throat the slitting of, rejoicing pantheon proclaims heroic, forever railing under epic breath of tacit page theodical: "we gave you progeny, now grant us our theocracy; before your son our asthras lay their weaponry" .
0
Aug 12, 2012
Aug 12, 2012 at 5:03 PM UTC
Rama's inauguration, facing the murderous gluttony of Thataka
i am a determined young man with nothing but my aim my shoulder and my name i envisage to race ideasl with a face encouragement is main nothing would do to reign but i never take lame to be a begrudging game there is more to the same more and more with a tame but not to filtered blame to equal less and less apprehension weighs why pick up when you base measurement with a case. freedom may want to laze but i wish it to raise.
0
Nov 28, 2013
Nov 28, 2013 at 3:18 AM UTC
determination
Refrain: Free-ee-ee caravan Won't you join me on the free caravan? Just let your hair down Try, try to unwind Please free your mind. We'll go beyond the wind's domain To find that dip in the ground Where true freedom is found. Feel your soul fly free. 1. Let's escape the confines of this caged life Of ******* to banks, of toiling to work Of rushing to shops, of accepting too much Of just too much...... 2. Gotta leave behind all the piling possessions These things which steal your flight Rob your sight Increase your plight Make you fight Gotta seek what's real in life. 3. We see the landscape changing Yet it's all the same Age teaches us yet we learn too late That your childhood is so precious. 4. So now, no more trudging, begrudging Just flying free in the wind Journeying to that dip in the soil Where there is no more toil. S T, 24 April 2013
0
Apr 24, 2013
Apr 24, 2013 at 7:59 AM UTC
Free Caravan
There is no blame. There is no blame. There is no blame. There is no blame. There is no shame unless you blame or forget to learn there can be shame, but there is no blame there is no blame no room for blame nor time for blame, there is no blame, no blame at all there is no blame, it will only stall. No blame. No blame. Make thus thy mantra: No blame. :: THERE IS NO BLAME AND NO SHAME UNLESS YOU BLAME THEN YOU BRING SHAME for there is no shame nor any blame, unless you forget to learn, or you yet yearn to call for blame; and endless shame but there's no room for blame in this life of limited time nor room for shame nor to refrain yourself from anything but yourself; no time for that no room for that it is only hate and a grudge, what a shame. Work towards improvement. I hold no blame and try for no shame in who I am and what I do. Yet there is blame and with it, shame but what a shame is this blame; Work towards improvement. There is no blame in the face of such blame. I cannot blame you; but still I maintain that there is no blame, nor begrudging shame. Work towards improvement. There is no time for blame nor room for shame, nor need to blame; I hold no blame. No blame. Gain.
0
Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 4:05 AM UTC
No blame
There lives a dragon in my stomach. That pokes and prods with every scale. With heat from it’s flames that leave skin blushed. A bloated squeezing growing from the lack of room. I check my stomach daily. Searching for holes and bruises, My hands running over bear skin amazed. And yet, I feel it now, Playing chess up my spine, Each claw catching as it climbs up my vertebrae. Leaving chills and goosebumps in it’s passing. I’ve cried out for help. Wanting nothing more from this beast. But it leaves nightmares with it’s presence. And it’s wings make perfect walls. People just get tired after a while. Just “the boy who cried wolf,” But as I spout more words to them scrambling for help. I see the smoke pillowing out of my mouth. And before I could question, We were both just as blinded. I have a dragon in my stomach. Years spent together like bitter friends. Growing used to the burn of it’s hugs. Even dousing the flames on my own at times. A begrudging compromise. Now overtime the beast grew too. Spending more of it’s passing as a shadow over my shoulders. Even with much less hold on me than before. It still watches with delight. Some days weighing like a backpack of bricks. Whispering in my ear, coaching. Letting smoke fill my head, confusing. Most other days are more bearable. At night the beast stays on my chest. Like a scaly tiger it curls on top, With a kneading purr as it settles. I never quite remember sleeping these nights. Flashes of tossing and turning from being uncomfortable. Poking, and prodding, and burning, and now chilling, and now waking up sweating. The fog only clearing after spending time awake. Alas there is a dragon in my stomach. A spiteful beast that took hold there. With greetings just like an old friend. And when I finally demanded it’s name. “Trauma” the beast told me.
0
Oct 18, 2021
Oct 18, 2021 at 11:03 AM UTC
There lives a dragon in my stomach
There lives a dragon in my stomach. That pokes and prods with every scale. With heat from it’s flames that leave skin blushed. A bloated squeezing growing from the lack of room. I check my stomach daily. Searching for holes and bruises, My hands running over bear skin amazed. And yet, I feel it now, Playing chess up my spine, Each claw catching as it climbs up my vertebrae. Leaving chills and goosebumps in it’s passing. I’ve cried out for help. Wanting nothing more from this beast. But it leaves nightmares with it’s presence. And it’s wings make perfect walls. People just get tired after a while. Just “the boy who cried wolf,” But as I spout more words to them scrambling for help. I see the smoke pillowing out of my mouth. And before I could question, We were both just as blinded. I have a dragon in my stomach. Years spent together like bitter friends. Growing used to the burn of it’s hugs. Even dousing the flames on my own at times. A begrudging compromise. Now overtime the beast grew too. Spending more of it’s passing as a shadow over my shoulders. Even with much less hold on me than before. It still watches with delight. Some days weighing like a backpack of bricks. Whispering in my ear, coaching. Letting smoke fill my head, confusing. Most other days are more bearable. At night the beast stays on my chest. Like a scaly tiger it curls on top, With a kneading purr as it settles. I never quite remember sleeping these nights. Flashes of tossing and turning from being uncomfortable. Poking, and prodding, and burning, and now chilling, and now waking up sweating. The fog only clearing after spending time awake. Alas there is a dragon in my stomach. A spiteful beast that took hold there. With greetings just like an old friend. And when I finally demanded it’s name. “Trauma” the beast told me.
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45
click click clack On a white marble floor If you're a woman, you already have one foot out the door of a room filled with all the conversation and opportunities that a man can afford. This is a scene we've all seen before. Paid way less when you're told that you worked way more. I'm sure a client will adore my face in a meeting, but what do i do with the horror when he hears me speaking? I'm reeking of the sour aftertaste of everyday misogyny. My worth measured by the distance between my skirt and the floor. And when I protest, politely, of course Being told that I can do better, I can be more than a bore. My skin revolts From the last time a colleague brushed his hand accidentally against my everything. My strength and independence rot in catacombs made from begrudging wombs, waiting for their lives to begin before building a tomb for another. My ears hear no corporate conflict. My eyes read no unjust verdict. My knees wobble of no panic. My voice even now is not frantic. I try to use my woman card as a shield, But they already know I'll yield Because sadly Feminism, safety, and my daily routine don't get along very well with each other. If I could stretch myself to my full capacity; Correction. If you'd let me stretch myself to full capacity, I'd be taller than these nine yards, Stronger than this silken thread , Darker than this black, Louder than this naked mic. My worth is equal to the number of folds in this sari. Uncertain. Defined. Redefined. Ever changing. As I shift move walk stumble run shuffle sprint Dive Into the storm. Riot chhod, I'm a civil war of colour. Black sari Black eyes Black bindi Golden jhumkas Red lips Multicoloured sword at my hip Swinging at the shackles they placed on me. Din ke dus dangey lad jaati hu mai, Saal ki solah siyaahein bharke ruk jaati hu main, Kabhi kahin khade rehne ki jagah mil jaye, Toh iss duniya ki acchhaai se thak jaati hu main.
0
Aug 17, 2017
Aug 17, 2017 at 10:09 AM UTC
Strength lives in a black sari
click click clack On a white marble floor If you're a woman, you already have one foot out the door of a room filled with all the conversation and opportunities that a man can afford. This is a scene we've all seen before. Paid way less when you're told that you worked way more. I'm sure a client will adore my face in a meeting, but what do i do with the horror when he hears me speaking? I'm reeking of the sour aftertaste of everyday misogyny. My worth measured by the distance between my skirt and the floor. And when I protest, politely, of course Being told that I can do better, I can be more than a bore. My skin revolts From the last time a colleague brushed his hand accidentally against my everything. My strength and independence rot in catacombs made from begrudging wombs, waiting for their lives to begin before building a tomb for another. My ears hear no corporate conflict. My eyes read no unjust verdict. My knees wobble of no panic. My voice even now is not frantic. I try to use my woman card as a shield, But they already know I'll yield Because sadly Feminism, safety, and my daily routine don't get along very well with each other. If I could stretch myself to my full capacity; Correction. If you'd let me stretch myself to full capacity, I'd be taller than these nine yards, Stronger than this silken thread , Darker than this black, Louder than this naked mic. My worth is equal to the number of folds in this sari. Uncertain. Defined. Redefined. Ever changing. As I shift move walk stumble run shuffle sprint Dive Into the storm. Riot chhod, I'm a civil war of colour. Black sari Black eyes Black bindi Golden jhumkas Red lips Multicoloured sword at my hip Swinging at the shackles they placed on me. Din ke dus dangey lad jaati hu mai, Saal ki solah siyaahein bharke ruk jaati hu main, Kabhi kahin khade rehne ki jagah mil jaye, Toh iss duniya ki acchhaai se thak jaati hu main.
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72
It’s Sunday morning, about 8am. My BF Peter and I we’re doing our laundry. Most of the time, we spent in my dorm common room, sitting side by side on a red corduroy couch, while our clothes washed, and then tumbled away in the dryer. If you want privacy on a college campus, or to do laundry in peace, avoiding the weekend laundry rush, do it before 10am. "Why do you wear these," Peter asked, pulling and lightly snapping the hair-band on my wrist. I pull my hand back, protectively. "If I don’t have a hair-band on my wrist I feel out of control." There’s a new me. I’d decided - civilized, unemotional, clear-sighted. "I've got a lot to do before summer,” Peter said earlier, “so I made a spreadsheet.” I felt a shadow pass over me - our future is, at best, undecided. So, I shifted gears, the way the new me is trying to do lately. “A Spreadsheet!” I said, like I approved, and he grinned. I’d made him happy. This is what adults do, I’d decided, they have civilized conversations where decisions were made or avoided - but there was a small, dark thing in my heart. I got a text from our dryer saying our clothes were dry, so we headed down. I love the smell of fresh laundry and the feeling of shaved legs against fresh bed sheets - a luxurious combination no guy will ever understand. I made a mental note to shave my legs later. The last couple of weeks I’ve been working on summer fellowship applications. A successful summer fellowship is one of those things I’ll need when I apply for med-school - like grades, faculty letters, physician recommendations, community service, a great MCAT score, bla bla bla. My mom knows the 200 things med-schools use to cleave away pretenders and she’ll rattle them off upon request and sometimes over groaning protests. What I need, ideally, this summer, are clinical experience hours. There’s not much at stake, just my future, the respect of the faculty, and the begrudging acknowledgement of my pre-med peers. My mom was quizzing me on my progress last night. I confirmed that all the applications were in and I ended with, “I haven’t slept with anyone yet, to gain advantage - but we’re still early in the process.” She was not amused.
0
Feb 20, 2023
Feb 20, 2023 at 2:13 PM UTC
***** laundry
It’s Sunday morning, about 8am. My BF Peter and I we’re doing our laundry. Most of the time, we spent in my dorm common room, sitting side by side on a red corduroy couch, while our clothes washed, and then tumbled away in the dryer. If you want privacy on a college campus, or to do laundry in peace, avoiding the weekend laundry rush, do it before 10am. "Why do you wear these," Peter asked, pulling and lightly snapping the hair-band on my wrist. I pull my hand back, protectively. "If I don’t have a hair-band on my wrist I feel out of control." There’s a new me. I’d decided - civilized, unemotional, clear-sighted. "I've got a lot to do before summer,” Peter said earlier, “so I made a spreadsheet.” I felt a shadow pass over me - our future is, at best, undecided. So, I shifted gears, the way the new me is trying to do lately. “A Spreadsheet!” I said, like I approved, and he grinned. I’d made him happy. This is what adults do, I’d decided, they have civilized conversations where decisions were made or avoided - but there was a small, dark thing in my heart. I got a text from our dryer saying our clothes were dry, so we headed down. I love the smell of fresh laundry and the feeling of shaved legs against fresh bed sheets - a luxurious combination no guy will ever understand. I made a mental note to shave my legs later. The last couple of weeks I’ve been working on summer fellowship applications. A successful summer fellowship is one of those things I’ll need when I apply for med-school - like grades, faculty letters, physician recommendations, community service, a great MCAT score, bla bla bla. My mom knows the 200 things med-schools use to cleave away pretenders and she’ll rattle them off upon request and sometimes over groaning protests. What I need, ideally, this summer, are clinical experience hours. There’s not much at stake, just my future, the respect of the faculty, and the begrudging acknowledgement of my pre-med peers. My mom was quizzing me on my progress last night. I confirmed that all the applications were in and I ended with, “I haven’t slept with anyone yet, to gain advantage - but we’re still early in the process.” She was not amused.
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12
SO PRIKETH HEM NATURE IN HIR CORAGES Never did help my Da enough. Always head-stuck-in-a-book. "Donall son..."he call "Can you hold this while ...I saw.!" "Awwww Da!" I'd wail. Me lost in Chaucer and his tale. And so the saw saws but all I see is..."Yo!" "The Miller was a chap of sixteen stone, A great stout fellow big in brawn and bone. The saw cuts through the afternoon. Pauses: then....chaw chaw Chaucers on again. "He did well out of them, for he could go And win the ram at any wrestling show." "Say what...? Oh, don't get me wrong I adored the aesthetic beauty of sawdust floating in a universe of its own suspended in sunlight and shadow. The smell of pine kidnapping my mind. The green dance of the bubble in a spirit level. Didn't have time for all that hammering and sawing. I was a boy on a mission ever since our teacher sighing "Oh I...don't know why I teach you scruff Chaucer ...you'll never read the book!" But by the weekend ( furious at the rebuff ) I( ha ha)HAD! My poor auld Da only getting begrudging help. "Whan that Aprille..." ( the words falling like gentle rain upon my mind ) "...with his shoures soote the droghte of Marche..." (Words words oh sweet words. . .) "hath perced to the roote" (My mind. . .) "...bathed every veyne in swich licour," (the bubble in the spirit level poised perfectly...perfectly poised) "Of which vertu engendred is the flour."
0
Nov 2, 2016
Nov 2, 2016 at 5:29 PM UTC
SO PRIKETH HEM NATURE IN HIR CORAGES
Winters grip pulled tight today ice crystals grown from dust to diamonds frozen mist clinging to trees and stream put my face in  water too cold felt it shudder like I did begrudging my warm walking and dreaming and waiting what do I yearn for I know in my heart summer's gentle song and touch and too hold that one dandelion seed for a little while in my scarred hand then let it soar for ever I would be a weight too much with me it would never fly just to see her rise will be enough then I can go and walk alone
0
Jan 21, 2011
Jan 21, 2011 at 8:25 AM UTC
Dandelion Seed
Burnt out on a legion of increasingly mobile devices for a legion of increasingly immobile people Antisocial networks and a friends list of listless friends But what judgment is justified while staring at square screens with increasing intensity and begrudging propensity? An information ****** that can't get a fix for all that's wrong in their world Let's start to run a shutdown command march away from the heat of indifferent **** pull away from those fright emitting diodes crowding a fiber opticked off planet With nothing better to do No plans that aren't metered in Gigabytes We can topple their towers of babel and towers of cable And the night sky will shimmer with thousands of stars we never knew were there
0
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 12:24 PM UTC
Transmission Impossible
the lights from the street below shine weakly into the silent room she lay in the tangled sheets staring off into the night a television set oddly turned to face the wall flickers while its low volume garbles its incessant whispered babbling like some deranged man talking to himself the scents of ********** thick in the air there is a tray of food gathering dust a bottle of wine untouched she is motionless the **** skin of her face glistens in the shifting shadows of her silent thoughts i sit in the hardback chair with difficult breathing apparatus trailing my mental footsteps i tread carefully through the narrow dark wood of her languid eye with small talk laying out a feast of interesting topics she is not hungry a storm flashes lightening far out to sea images come to the mind of a ship chasing the dawn desperate to break free of the natures fury and the captain at the helm heroic figure standing fast against the odds holding to the wheel and shouting to all hands the rain falling in tangled sheets focus returns to the room she is falling motionless entangled in the beds sheets i am the brave helmsman standing fast this ship has already sunk daylight appeases the minds of the littered minefield of broken and bent on the bedroom floor so they now allow begrudging paths safely to be seen her eyes have closed sleep the dust encrusted food and the stale wine make a feast for the birds who's small wing fluttering are the only sound the sun's heavy light falls in a narrow shaft that glows against the dark wood background i slowly ease my hand into its warmth like a swimmer testing the waters i dive in and my soul swims the shaft of light up to the bright world leaving this place of shadows and this woman of darker dreams she awakens hours later to find me laying on the floor with one hand extended out to where the sun once held sway laying there wrapped in my dreams of liquid light dreaming of the day just past and the days to come she lay next to me and cups me in her arms while weak lights from the street below shine up into our quiet room
0
Jan 25, 2014
Jan 25, 2014 at 11:47 AM UTC
weak lights
the lights from the street below shine weakly into the silent room she lay in the tangled sheets staring off into the night a television set oddly turned to face the wall flickers while its low volume garbles its incessant whispered babbling like some deranged man talking to himself the scents of ********** thick in the air there is a tray of food gathering dust a bottle of wine untouched she is motionless the **** skin of her face glistens in the shifting shadows of her silent thoughts i sit in the hardback chair with difficult breathing apparatus trailing my mental footsteps i tread carefully through the narrow dark wood of her languid eye with small talk laying out a feast of interesting topics she is not hungry a storm flashes lightening far out to sea images come to the mind of a ship chasing the dawn desperate to break free of the natures fury and the captain at the helm heroic figure standing fast against the odds holding to the wheel and shouting to all hands the rain falling in tangled sheets focus returns to the room she is falling motionless entangled in the beds sheets i am the brave helmsman standing fast this ship has already sunk daylight appeases the minds of the littered minefield of broken and bent on the bedroom floor so they now allow begrudging paths safely to be seen her eyes have closed sleep the dust encrusted food and the stale wine make a feast for the birds who's small wing fluttering are the only sound the sun's heavy light falls in a narrow shaft that glows against the dark wood background i slowly ease my hand into its warmth like a swimmer testing the waters i dive in and my soul swims the shaft of light up to the bright world leaving this place of shadows and this woman of darker dreams she awakens hours later to find me laying on the floor with one hand extended out to where the sun once held sway laying there wrapped in my dreams of liquid light dreaming of the day just past and the days to come she lay next to me and cups me in her arms while weak lights from the street below shine up into our quiet room
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57
I know you always saw yourself a knight But I did not realize for a long time That I was a page. You were my sparring partner Who taught me to come at the world Gun drawn So no one could out-shoot me. You told me, And I know, That Justice wears a blindfold because She slashes her sword indiscriminately, And looks at that scale Never. You always saw yourself a lawman I always saw you as a fool. I never realized I learned law At your feet. Fallacies and ways of Drawing out argument and diatribe, Loopholes of morality through which We spin. You taught me to be technically correct, The best kind of correct, Always exploiting but Always within my jurisdiction. I only know now I was a deputy To a sheriff of ridiculous stature. You taught me THE ART OF WAR. It was engraved in stone for me Like an all-caps Roman monument. THE ART OF WAR Is sprawled across a stone archway in my mind Where you came, and you saw. It marks your conquest. You made it my way of loving, Of relating to the world and the people around me. You made me a martyr and mercenary, Standing atop a hill in golden armor, Sunlight behind me and wind in my hair, An avatar of Durga, A disciple of Joan of Arc, A four-year-old poses in chainmail You wrought for her. Illusions of grandeur such as your own Come with this territory. You taught me As your mother and father And grandparents Taught you, THE ART OF WAR- That love is just begrudging words of sweetness Issued only after ruins lay all around And both parties are sufficiently vulnerable, Their bricks having been pried away with crowbars. Love is only an apology given to mollify The wounds you have already wrought. The only privilege loved-ones are afforded, Is the bandage that covers up the customary Destruction That is your normal face. You and I only ever knew love as You clipping my wings And I breaking free to spray The shrapnel of those chains Into your face. We added to each others' pile of scars. It was so rare for us to run into battle together, On the same side, Voices as one in a battlecry. I don't even know how long it's been since Us soldiers-for-hire got hired By the same team at once. You cast me out of steel Like a sword. And now I am the legendary blade Destined to clash against you for all eternity. We will only ever know ceasefires Of a day in length. We will run through the flame, And we will practice the art You taught me.
0
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 2:49 PM UTC
Protege
I know you always saw yourself a knight But I did not realize for a long time That I was a page. You were my sparring partner Who taught me to come at the world Gun drawn So no one could out-shoot me. You told me, And I know, That Justice wears a blindfold because She slashes her sword indiscriminately, And looks at that scale Never. You always saw yourself a lawman I always saw you as a fool. I never realized I learned law At your feet. Fallacies and ways of Drawing out argument and diatribe, Loopholes of morality through which We spin. You taught me to be technically correct, The best kind of correct, Always exploiting but Always within my jurisdiction. I only know now I was a deputy To a sheriff of ridiculous stature. You taught me THE ART OF WAR. It was engraved in stone for me Like an all-caps Roman monument. THE ART OF WAR Is sprawled across a stone archway in my mind Where you came, and you saw. It marks your conquest. You made it my way of loving, Of relating to the world and the people around me. You made me a martyr and mercenary, Standing atop a hill in golden armor, Sunlight behind me and wind in my hair, An avatar of Durga, A disciple of Joan of Arc, A four-year-old poses in chainmail You wrought for her. Illusions of grandeur such as your own Come with this territory. You taught me As your mother and father And grandparents Taught you, THE ART OF WAR- That love is just begrudging words of sweetness Issued only after ruins lay all around And both parties are sufficiently vulnerable, Their bricks having been pried away with crowbars. Love is only an apology given to mollify The wounds you have already wrought. The only privilege loved-ones are afforded, Is the bandage that covers up the customary Destruction That is your normal face. You and I only ever knew love as You clipping my wings And I breaking free to spray The shrapnel of those chains Into your face. We added to each others' pile of scars. It was so rare for us to run into battle together, On the same side, Voices as one in a battlecry. I don't even know how long it's been since Us soldiers-for-hire got hired By the same team at once. You cast me out of steel Like a sword. And now I am the legendary blade Destined to clash against you for all eternity. We will only ever know ceasefires Of a day in length. We will run through the flame, And we will practice the art You taught me.
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81
The key to the past and future It lives and runs in the essence of a child innocence fends off wrong thinking that leads to guilt it buys The future without investing in error that is born of greed turn back to the days that are golden purity Was fixed who sought personnel gain at the harm and pain of others you moved through rings of joy That were ever present this constant could be found even in the adult world of upheavals in your world There was a slower pace it never caused to race haste can cause unexpected disaster a Childs hands Feels its way down dark passages there is still high surges of energy that detect what lies ahead if it be Good or sad at times that tears are shed by the little ones they hold such power of grace they displace Lasting hurt with the soulful knowing linked to a higher fathers love if at times of anger danger or Temptation we would return and stand within this impenetrable wall so many of life’s troubles could be Shortened and at least lesson their degree of severity the future would unfold with a higher degree of Nobility standing in the center instead of a begrudging corner resisting freedoms challenge and its Reassurance that all will be well no we push on we refuse the power that reflection holds surly life is a Circular affair it isn’t a strange occurrence that has never happened before and there is always the Divine shoulder to rest on and ask for wisdom but so many are above such things you can see them Ever where the grim looks are so telling they missed mercy and love that walks by their side no they Push on ahead they know best all they really do is open themselves to the enemies well laid plan to Cause them pain and heartache why walk a path of foreboding when there is one drenched in sunshine Bright happy charms as even and the swell of distant church bells ringing their truth affords a power a reverie that is ever constant don’t be so adult that you rob yourself from the inner voice that flows in both directions without fail it finds the higher safer ground your feet sure your life will take on higher meaning and you will be a source of comfort and wonder to those who know you
0
Jan 9, 2012
Jan 9, 2012 at 6:06 PM UTC
The key to the past and future
The key to the past and future It lives and runs in the essence of a child innocence fends off wrong thinking that leads to guilt it buys The future without investing in error that is born of greed turn back to the days that are golden purity Was fixed who sought personnel gain at the harm and pain of others you moved through rings of joy That were ever present this constant could be found even in the adult world of upheavals in your world There was a slower pace it never caused to race haste can cause unexpected disaster a Childs hands Feels its way down dark passages there is still high surges of energy that detect what lies ahead if it be Good or sad at times that tears are shed by the little ones they hold such power of grace they displace Lasting hurt with the soulful knowing linked to a higher fathers love if at times of anger danger or Temptation we would return and stand within this impenetrable wall so many of life’s troubles could be Shortened and at least lesson their degree of severity the future would unfold with a higher degree of Nobility standing in the center instead of a begrudging corner resisting freedoms challenge and its Reassurance that all will be well no we push on we refuse the power that reflection holds surly life is a Circular affair it isn’t a strange occurrence that has never happened before and there is always the Divine shoulder to rest on and ask for wisdom but so many are above such things you can see them Ever where the grim looks are so telling they missed mercy and love that walks by their side no they Push on ahead they know best all they really do is open themselves to the enemies well laid plan to Cause them pain and heartache why walk a path of foreboding when there is one drenched in sunshine Bright happy charms as even and the swell of distant church bells ringing their truth affords a power a reverie that is ever constant don’t be so adult that you rob yourself from the inner voice that flows in both directions without fail it finds the higher safer ground your feet sure your life will take on higher meaning and you will be a source of comfort and wonder to those who know you
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22
This feathered quill with fluted nib stands idle in an idle hand and a man with little time to spare,despairs of flowing from its point,a point to make,a case he cannot state. It is late the ink has bled,I am being led to some conclusion,propelled to see a page, unwritten not by me but by the elements. Underwater I breathe air,a little trick I found when underneath the earth and being ground, they thought into fine dust,the fire was just a place to warm my bones while the winds sang songs to me in dulcet tones. And still the quill sits silently as if begrudging me a moments rest, it would be a feather in my cap if only I could slap another word out of its tip,but no letters slip to form these things,it seems that silence only brings me emptiness,even less than that when words within are crushed and flattened by the fattening of worms that squirm and hold me in their coils,and any words there were are spoiled,deleted,secreted quietly and forgot about. In the tomb without a light, this ink is but a link to further things to think and if only I could force this quill to spill something. Underlined in red and on the tombstone up above it said, 'here lies within a man so thin and yet so thick his quill a magic stick his ink a skating rink Magic couldn't save him' But this is of another page when reached upon a ripe old age and suitably I shall erase that which pertains to me.
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Sep 6, 2013
Sep 6, 2013 at 1:07 AM UTC
Candle waxed
Haus 29 is a magic number; its once whispered dry silence,   then collapsed like black tulips. Her wooden frame smiles under morsel Sun, night protrudes giving out Coagulated rhythm. The denizens drone in droves, even forests cannot contain them, bystanders flock in, looking for  unexplained carolled groves conversations staked on fevered implausibilities the villagers respond in begrudging ignorance
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Aug 16, 2012
Aug 16, 2012 at 6:10 PM UTC
Haus 29
Forever: it is not a word I know, Its bounding aches, its tugging groans, Whereof I speak, thou knowest not, My mem’ry fleeting, forlorn and rot, Because this is of tales of my naught, I live on only to be here, forgot. - - I have saved the life of a child who shall never know my name, The love I had for my Love, doth she not want to feel again, I’ve fought for allies, only to now be believed of conspiracy I’ve liberated my beliefs, only to now be under new tyranny. I may die any day here, perhaps with the coming sunset, But in my name and mem’ry, a candle forgotten to be lit. Time is mortally timeless in this solipsistic reign, I write my tragedies knowing not a person will feel the same. - The ghosts of faces taunt me in my regretful sleep, Begrudging me to hide my face from all distaste and weep, Although this feeling flourishes in this daunting midnight air, The daylight only brings me knowledge of my true despair. For even my children, even if I were to have them now, Would forget my name also, I’d be but a whisper upon a cloud. - I could go about this life living in the best way that I could, If all was start over, the same mistakes I made, I would, But it does not change the fact that no one ever my name will know, Or remember it with time if even fondness were to grow. For it is a curse that deaf is eternity, To my name and quill, knowledge that this woe is me. - My love will be forgotten, For woman, for warmth, for longing, My words will be forgotten, In ink, in music, in harmony, My breath will be forgotten, For I leave nothing, and nothing again, My name will be forgotten, Knowing this makes me insane. - Forever: it is a word I will never know. Love has left and died, and it seems it always will, I don’t deserve the music I process in my head every hour of the moon and sun. I don’t possess the strength or skill to properly put what feelings lie in my breast on to parchment. I cannot scribe a good enough requiem, and I certainly leave no worthy revelation. Forget my name, and remember those worthy. Forget my work, and remember the ones that fill your heart with happiness and inspiration, for no one need look upon mine and see the struggles of someone that ne’er need complain, or deserve to. - It is what I hear all the hours of any of my wretched days; The cacophony that is the choir singing hymns of me being forgotten.
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Jan 20, 2013
Jan 20, 2013 at 12:12 AM UTC
Forgotten.
Forever: it is not a word I know, Its bounding aches, its tugging groans, Whereof I speak, thou knowest not, My mem’ry fleeting, forlorn and rot, Because this is of tales of my naught, I live on only to be here, forgot. - - I have saved the life of a child who shall never know my name, The love I had for my Love, doth she not want to feel again, I’ve fought for allies, only to now be believed of conspiracy I’ve liberated my beliefs, only to now be under new tyranny. I may die any day here, perhaps with the coming sunset, But in my name and mem’ry, a candle forgotten to be lit. Time is mortally timeless in this solipsistic reign, I write my tragedies knowing not a person will feel the same. - The ghosts of faces taunt me in my regretful sleep, Begrudging me to hide my face from all distaste and weep, Although this feeling flourishes in this daunting midnight air, The daylight only brings me knowledge of my true despair. For even my children, even if I were to have them now, Would forget my name also, I’d be but a whisper upon a cloud. - I could go about this life living in the best way that I could, If all was start over, the same mistakes I made, I would, But it does not change the fact that no one ever my name will know, Or remember it with time if even fondness were to grow. For it is a curse that deaf is eternity, To my name and quill, knowledge that this woe is me. - My love will be forgotten, For woman, for warmth, for longing, My words will be forgotten, In ink, in music, in harmony, My breath will be forgotten, For I leave nothing, and nothing again, My name will be forgotten, Knowing this makes me insane. - Forever: it is a word I will never know. Love has left and died, and it seems it always will, I don’t deserve the music I process in my head every hour of the moon and sun. I don’t possess the strength or skill to properly put what feelings lie in my breast on to parchment. I cannot scribe a good enough requiem, and I certainly leave no worthy revelation. Forget my name, and remember those worthy. Forget my work, and remember the ones that fill your heart with happiness and inspiration, for no one need look upon mine and see the struggles of someone that ne’er need complain, or deserve to. - It is what I hear all the hours of any of my wretched days; The cacophony that is the choir singing hymns of me being forgotten.
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49
Slept through all that ******* Thunder but not the closing of the front Door? Pardon us, your ******* Highness, for living some of our Lives before ******* 18:30; Please, your ******* Highness, take a step back from yourself if you can fathom anything other than yourself. We try not to begrudge you your Schedule; reciprocate by not begrudging the majority of the House theirs.
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Sep 3, 2013
Sep 3, 2013 at 9:35 PM UTC
Highness
Left behind But not forgotten So much to say But I'm not talkin Feeling alive in a world so dead Everyone keeps quiet With much to be said The words on the lips Of silent mimes Ticking of the clocks That run out of time Waiting on something That just might happen Though its not funny I'm still laughin Waging a war That has no sides Where many innocent Lay down to die Through the silence The lies could be heard I listened to them But didnt hear a word I knew the truth It was right in front of me I just couldn't make The other people see They ran toward a light That flickered and died And more lies were said To keep them occupied I ran the other way Ready to sacrifice In search of all the things That are good and right This is the world, The way we live. Begrudging and angry To not forget or forgive. I'll not say that There is no peace But for us Its just out of reach.
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Dec 11, 2010
Dec 11, 2010 at 6:41 AM UTC
No Peace.
The price paid, begrudging none The True Debtor knows the cost Parts willingly, and would again Should ever more be required Feeling each moment that more is owed Though so little, so little is asked Giving all, every drop Of heartsblood for the cause For none greater exists Nor could such ever be risen above Always asking, What more, what more Can I, to you, bestow? And the smile, the touch, alone Are the given response Satisfying, overwhelming The True Debtor, with luck unmatched Pays again, 'til naught remains But neither fades nor diminishes And so Love moves the two Each feeling the debt Each paying their all, their all again Until it cannot be said to whom the other belongs Until they cannot be told apart
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Mar 22, 2012
Mar 22, 2012 at 12:37 AM UTC
The Willing Debt
In your eyes Have none of another dreams Careful, not let to wipe memories Which all belongs to me Close your eyes if you wish Just like thinking No one see you Before i shot in the head Even my own eyes begrudging you How should i let you Hurt by someone else Through the blue sky In the valley of death The roads that coming to you Waiting for killers With an innocent youth
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Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 3:37 PM UTC
Mimosa
How could you Suddenly come into my heart Without knocking  And even leave a hole in it Picking at locks That weren't yours to pick at Once a forgiving heart Now filled with begrudging sorrow
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Mar 10, 2016
Mar 10, 2016 at 8:37 PM UTC
How Could You
The darkness flees into the night The hunger gladly chases light The fear indulges in the fight I cant get it right The desperate often come out sore The lover always asking more The silent child always cries But i can't scarecly get it right The ache can dull the greater pain The solitude can mend or maim The whisper can confuse the lie Still i won't get it right The honesty set on the shelf The past begrudging future help The day breaks naught but for itself So i must get it right The Once and Future comes no more The Poet taken for a bore The story none have heard before Once I get it right
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Sep 18, 2016
Sep 18, 2016 at 2:38 AM UTC
Poet