I met her one night in a dream: a divine being of singular beauty with long, dark hair and a heavenly radiance, with eyes of the bluest aether. She was the paradigm of unparalleled perfection, uncontested and enchanting.
Upon waking I expected to find she was a mere creation of my imagination. However, I was surprised to see in my hand the note she had written me. So small a keepsake, yet enormously treasured.
I walked outside and began a search to find the angelic being of my dreams. Where is one to look for angels but in the sky? I knew then that to the highest peak of the tallest mountain I must go if there was any hope of finding her.
Leaving behind my home and eveything I own, I journeyed to the mountain. A peak so high it pierced the belly of the heavens, but I climbed it with unwavering zeal. I felt such a strong desire to see her pulling me inexorably toward the top despite any tiredness...or any logical expectation that it wasn't all for nothing.
As I approached the summit I saw city walls made of some sort of ivory-coloured marbled stone, bejeweled with great jade and sapphire. As I approached the gates they opened for me, and I felt a rush of cold air carrying a very pleasant and familiar scent. It was her! Her sweet, ambrosial aroma took rapturous hold of my bones and pulled me through the gates.
Despite the majesty of this city of wonderous stonework, I quickly realized it was devoid of life. Strange, but a mystery of insignificant proportions compared to my current goal. If she was there, I would find her. I made my way through the barren streets guided by some immaterial leash of sentiment, obsession, and something else. I dared not question anything, and only surrendered to the force. It was as if she was calling me to her by way of all my senses and all I had to do was listen.
The empty streets themselves whispered stories of their own. What was once a vibrant, vivacious realm is now resting on a foundation of the dead. No evidence of war or struggle marred the place. Headstones lined each street, and the roads themselves were paved with stone coffins. On every structure where headstones couldn't be set, plaques were placed instead in honour of each fallen citizen. However, no single one had a date written on it...only names. I wondered if the cause of such thorough devastation to this place was a disease of some sort. After all, the city was completely isolated.
While some minor portion of my mind was analyzing this enigmatic environment, my driving focus remained steadfast. I knew little about her, but I knew that no one in a dream nor in the waking world had I ever wanted more. I could see that she wanted me too, as it had become clear that she was drawing me in. So, I continued to submit.
I was brought to the bell tower of a grand cathedral. There was a large outlook off the side of the tower. It offered an unobstructed view of the starry sky and swaying aurora. As I stared at the entrancing scene, my meditation was interrupted by a touch on my shoulder. I had found her!
With an embrace and a kiss we began a partnership the likes of which no world had ever known. Many conversations we shared, and much more. I learned of this forsaken city that she calls home, its secrets, and its history. I learned of her strengths and weaknesses, and learned that even an angel of such splendour can have insecurities. She told me of the people that once lived here and how they took to worshipping her. Dodengel, they called her. But her true name is for me alone.
She pointed to the stars and the black abyss between. The pale blue aurora performing before the black backdrop was something I had always wanted to see, and I had a front row seat. Never had I been so close to the outer reaches. As fascinating as the cosmic show was, nothing had ever been more captivating than the radiant creature beside me. She moved her body in the most seductive manner demanding my full attention. In the starlit dark of night she now had what appeared to be wings of golden light, and her eyes...those eyes! So bright and blue, glowing hypnotically and rendering me helplessly under her control. Never had I experienced such a total loss of faculties.
Taking me by the hand she swept us into the black expanse where no mortal being can survive. Beyond the realm of men, outside the shadows from which I was conjured. Into Oblivion she took me, her secret place. I remained willingly under her spell. Those eyes are shackles, binding the will of one who dares to get close. That one was me. A fantasy that was conceived in dreams was born into reality. I had found her. She was here in front of me as real as I myself am real. Her obsessive love for me as real as mine for her. Her beauty as real as the pain in my stomach...as real as the metallic taste of thick blood filling my mouth. I had given myself to her, and as long as she kept me bound I was powerless to stop her. She was carving into me, eviscerating me and tearing me apart all while sustaining a smile. A pain so harrowing made worse by feeling my own warm intestines unraveling down my legs. With a hand like a razor-sharpened blade she opened me up from pelvis to neck, leaving all the organs exposed and bones separated. I couldn't stop her from mutilating me. Even as I stayed locked into her gaze she wouldn't grant me as much mercy as fainting from the pain. It was agony. But no matter the anguish, I was unable to break the spell she had over me.
When she finished and my body was in tatters she took me back to the world we'd left. With what intact parts of me I had left I could feel myself writhing. So much pain yet so much ecstasy! Back to my home she flew me and laid my broken body on my bed. With one last kiss she said goodbye, and at that I finally lost consciousness.
As I write in recovery from surgeons' work putting me back together I can't get her off my mind. The scars I'll bear will forever remind me of of something extraordinary. And I will be with her again. No forces in this world nor any world beyond can quell this addiction.
You see, she was an angel, true. But "Dodengel" is a word in a long lost language meaning roughly "Angel of Death". How can I say that this was in any way a declaration of love, you ask? The Angel of Death is a harvester of lives. It is her nature to **** any marked for death. No entities are more marked by the gods than the Draa'ma, or Daemons, of which I, in part, am one. Her nature is to ****, yet she only maimed. No effort was made to properly **** me, as destruction of the body doesn't mean true death for one of my kind. She showed me her true self. She showed an unlovable monster unequivocal love: for what is more loving that denying one's intrinsic nature in favour of another?