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A lone azure flower
growing from the center of the
cracked and muddy earth
struggles as the downpour pelts it
Saturating and uncaring
threatening to uproot and smother
it in a watery grave
The vision subsides
but the roar of the flood remains
the waters careen recklessly
the gorgeous
the profound
the defiant
the unconventional
each one it swallows every
bit as precious
as any lone desert flower
Amy Grindhouse Nov 2022
A surprise gasp pulls forth the deceptive
chill of the nighttime desert air
Caught off guard even after five years
yet still in love with its unexpected curiosities
set against the immaculate
gleam of its unbroken night sky
It is momentarily forgotten
that all we've built beneath these heavens
is fleeting and miniscule in comparison
and that it is only a matter of time before
these aging and neglected structures
collapse into the desert's mysteries
but in this moment
we can be every bit
as infinite and grand
Amy Grindhouse May 2021
I locked my heart fathoms beneath the waves
assuming that it would be lost to time and pressure
Bewildered, I could not fathom how you carried it to shore
but was elated at the thought that someone found worth in what I had mournfully discarded
For some time since then we sailed on a ramshackle ship
my heart still shackled and guarded
but on occasion I agreed to let it out
as it bled abundantly, thinking this sacrifice
could keep our sails on course
Of course this was only a cathartic ritual.
I often wonder how long the leviathan followed you
How long you keep it under your control as it stalked below?
When did it start to rebel?
When did you realize you were not its master?
When did it realize?
The attacks came slowly, as if it was testing our reaction
Gradually ramping up in intensity and intimidation
The first time it threw me overboard
I swore I'd never set sail again
and now I struggle to count how many times
I've plunged into the depths
We washed ashore
We rebuilt
but it became painfully apparent this beast would not relent.
At times I was not convinced this prowling menace is after you at all,
other times I think its end goal is to devour us both
The only conclusion I could be sure of
is that I could no longer risk the open seas.
In an act of desperation I've stolen back my heart and fled to the desert.
I contemplated not telling you
but just as this tentacled monstrosity does not seem able to leave you, so it is with me
Should you find your way to this desolate and desperate refuge I've chosen,  I will welcome you with open arms
and pray that the creature could not follow where the waters do not flow.
Amy Grindhouse Apr 2021
We could not comprehend the horror lurking in our future
Deceptions behind the mask as emotions shift into phantom pains
Left unattended and feeling for hints of barbed spines
raised under our flesh
Flaying the remains of innocence and revealing a labyrinth of unending agony - a rolling thunder that snares in violent spins
as we beg for it to stop
It roars
It hurts
but most of all
It knows
These roulette curses dance across shocked faces
finally left forsaken for not living up to unattainable expectations
Left longing for genuine affection
while the cravings are predictably portrayed as ravenous
You should know by now
the longer
you wait
the more
flesh this
lunging bite
pulls away
Amy Grindhouse Apr 2021
Our love is our reality
If reality carries on
after we are gone
Does our love die?
Does it wither in a void
along with our other memories?
I hope not.
I hope it haunts the hills
outside of town where we used to
sneak off
I hope it lingers in the breath
of those who dare tread
on our graves
I hope it floats through space
wrapping around the stars
to become abstract dreams
in the heads of hopeless romantics
I hope it inspires them to tell a tale
they hardly understand
but feel intensely
as we did
when we were real
Amy Grindhouse Dec 2020
I drove off
swearing I would not
look back
but I'm already longing
So my eyes dart to the rearview mirror
and of course there's this
gaudy kaleidoscope
where smears of makeup have run
into clotted streaks of gore -
I tried to save face
with an awkward line
that sounds at home
in the life we thought
we were creating
and not the one we had:
"I do my own makeup...
and my own stunts!"
Amused at how clever
I think I am
my sides split to match my lips
Enough joking
there's too much road ahead
Drum roll and into
the down beat please -
You think that's funny?
Just wait 'til I stand up  
I begged to not have to
go through some kind
of initiation beat down
This is not
how one does affection
or atonement -
Feeling pressed?
Just wait 'til I come up
I've got a bone to pick
with these rings of factory
sealed solutions
bursting open only to
bring more pain than joy:
False advertising to be honest
but I get it -
I'm hardly linear anymore
Oh hell I'm probably more of a fractal!
- Which has it's own set of awful clichés -
but as expected
I can't stand down
so of course I'm rebelling and fleeing  
to escape the terror
I knew withdrawal from you would be
unbearable so
I oddly coped by engaging in the very
thing I ran from
Stumbling into fitful sleep in an
oh so strange refuge
and as expected
I can't come down -
Amy Grindhouse Dec 2020
He is a published poet
And I'm eagerly hoping
I'm about to unlock the secret
To turning my expressions
of torment
Into something that will be held
In equally high esteem

Finally he says
"The one thing I can tell you
Is that no one
wants to read about
your emotions anymore"

"Okay" I flatly reply.
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