Is that what we wake up to every day?
Fast food and gas stations are forever stamped in the corners of my eyes as they are looking through the glass of minimum wage to the red flashing lights of a man hoping to get back to his children safely.
Is life is a pointed dagger then my blade is rusted and dull when I wonder why I even try some days.
Do I dare defend my pride and still demand something more than this? Is this a call for engines in the air or wings made of wax? Death would be more alive than waking up to another day of shampoo commercials and microwave dinners.
You are always whispering in my ear though dear and telling me that you're more than just a particle flown into my imagination from a world so oh very different than ours.
Are your eyes as bright as I imagine? Will the glare from them blind me from the tax collectors whip and will your laughter drown out the screams of onlookers who are throwing peanuts through the bars at my feet?
Will your kiss melt me and cause me to fall into wind like leaves in a storm, a tornado of color and beauty..?
I lay in bed and my eyes close tightly, my breathing slows and thoughts drip into pits men drown themselves in, the murky waters of nihilistic cynicism...
Though my hand will still not be closed around yours when the sun rises, the whisper lets me know you are still awake and searching for me too...
3153 miles away I lay with a mind that's clouded with thoughts. Past Scenarios playing out differently. Over analyzing the present. Anticipating the emotion that I will feel in the future. If ever I was consumed it has never been like this. Regret comes and fades. optimism shares that same cycle. Happiness And sadness come in doses like sedatives. The voice of jealousy tells me that hope makes me weak. Anger fuels my fire and logic keeps it burning. Yet voices, Medication, and the embers fade. The constant variables are only wondering and anxiety. Peace comes in sleep and yet its hardly enjoyed.
Creeping voices in the night
Shadows lurking out of sight
Haunt me till the morning's light
No sleeping for me tonight
Looking at my bedroom door
My feet barely touch the floor
Something whispers down my core
Something that I can't ignore
Melted candles in my hand
Things I would not understand
My hope slips away like sand
This was not what I had planned
Slowly walking down the stairs
Feel a breeze sweep through my hair
Shadows lurk; in silence stare
Naked thoughts are all I wear
Out of breath I walk outside
Shaking fear that builds inside
No more places left to hide
Guilty thoughts of mine collide
Drenched in coward's blood and fear
I lost those who I held dear
It's all blurred, nothing is clear
Shadows from my past appear
As the silence speaks to me
Gets too loud it deafens me
My past will not leave me be
Pain and torment I foresee
Dazed and drawn by these lost souls
Broken thoughts I can't control
Ghosts slip through this gaping hole
Darkness has taken its toll
From the darkness dreams come out
Nightmares flailing all about
Closing in, I hear them shout
It's the end, I have no doubt
"What the hell is it you want?"
They retreat and me they taunt
One emerges, tall and gaunt
"Your life we will no more haunt."
"You have paid for your wrongdoing,"
He tells me, his voice booming
"This is now your redeeming
You are free." he says smiling
I look at the rising sun
I no longer have to run
My sentence is served and done
The ghosts have finally gone.
We hung upside down from bars
worn with age and regret,
yet we regretted nothing
foolhardy souls intertwined,
spirited from the mere thoughts
that pooled in inky wisps
threatening to bite off
more than the world had
offered our omnivorous gullets
And so, in the stillness
of lethargic afternoon sun,
breaths held in anticipation
of the distant chiming bells
mocking our captivity,
we breathed our last
we breathed at last
Nightly, I roam these streets
alone in my thoughts, haunted;
symmetrical lanes mock the
labyrinth of my tortured mind
Obsidian stones skim the surface
of these choppy waters signaling
depths beyond the incessant rhythms
revealed to but a few unlucky ones
And centuries later, I'm still a stranger
in this foreign land, my open palms
pleading with the lost, the forgotten
waning crescent moon
my thoughts swim in fuzzy circles
always ending with confusion met with
the most peculiar sense of longing…
last night, I dreamt of the sea
the lulling waves kissing
particles of sand
and ebony stones
rubbed smooth over time
I awoke uneasily,
the distant cadence
of the lapping water
resounding in my ears;
seaweed clung to my hair as
my circadian rhythms swayed in distress
in the distance,
the wail of a woman -
quickly muffled by the unknown
and tossed away