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Jul 2016 · 487
Paradox
Vista Jul 2016
I'll push people away
and then say I'm lonely,
I'll say I have no friends
and then call us all squaddies
-
Running from the fire I tended to,
I'll leap into your arms
Though I know you'll burn me to the ground
and then you'll raise the alarms
-
I'll accuse you of being mysterious
While building up my own walls
I'll try to break yours down
And collect the bricks before they fall
-
I'll make my own misery
I'll burn my own boats,
Then complain about not
being able to stay afloat
-
Alienated in my own body
Lost in my own soul
Foreign in my own head,
Down a perpetual rabbit hole
Paradoxes don't sit well with me, and yet I create them for myself.

© Copyright
Jun 2016 · 1.3k
Father's Day
Vista Jun 2016
Sometimes I'll hear your footsteps
in the empty hallway
And your laughter
in the vacant living room

I'll smell your perfume
in the musty closet
And feel your wit
in the silent dinnertime gloom

Sometimes I'll wait for your smile
Standing at the gate at 2:45
And wonder what you're doing, how you're feeling,
and what you cooked last night

So I'll call you up after office hours
but there's nothing to say
Still, just listening to the silence between us
is enough to make my day

I'll lament over the memories we can't make
and the inside jokes we'll never know
The premiers we're missing out on
The feelings I'll never show
                                                            ­          
I know you're doing your best
to protect and shield me always
but all I really want is
a Cadbury and a protective embrace

Because I want to hug you
all the time, everyday
And not just when we're saying goodbye
before you get into your car and drive away


Happy Father's Day.

© Copyright
I miss you.
Apr 2016 · 1.4k
23w
Vista Apr 2016
23w
it's 4 am and i'm still up
in the city of the half-dead
alone with my racing thoughts
insomniac nights are the best
I'm pretty sure I posted this last night.
Vista Apr 2016
picture perfect plastic dolls
line up in the ballet hall
masks adjusted, shoes pulled on
the cameras flash, the lights are on.
flaunt their figures, beguile the boys
wildly pirouetting with a perfect poise
a silent chorus of envy they sing
patch the masks and sew a grin.
the curtain falls, the masquerade drops
her pointe shoes are all worn out
her toes are bleeding, her ankle’s sprained
but a sparkling reputation she has claimed.
a perfect picture of plastic dolls
lined up with their masks all on
the colours fade, the angle’s changed
to show beneath, their melted face.
On the nonexistence of perfection.

© Copyright
Apr 2016 · 884
Typecast
Vista Apr 2016
You can’t hear my screams through this house’s thin walls
I can’t reach the shore in your paper lifeboat
You can’t pull me up as I drown while afloat
I can’t help but by this spiralling stairwell be enthralled

I leap over, hurtling towards the water beneath
Blood splatters on the walls, crimson swirls in the sea
You scrub the water coarse, trying to strain the impurity
But my wounds are still open; they continue to bleed

The cycle keeps repeating, as history tends to
You’re tired of all this melodrama that keeps unfolding anew
You think it’s all rehearsed, that it is not impromptu
So I perform behind closed doors, waiting for your cue

During the entr’acte, I wait in the dark
The spotlight’s gone out, the character has not
I have been typecast in this role for too long
It’s become second nature so I play along
It's easier to hide than get help.

© Copyright
Apr 2016 · 646
Grandiloquent Blandishment
Vista Apr 2016
She was a symphony of sonorous phrases
Resonating off my blank walls
She clutched her vibrant set of words
Like crayons to colour in my lines

She made me beautiful with her poetic eloquence
She made me complete with her florid taste
She wrote me into her enigmatic songs
Which I mistook for love in haste

Slowly, her speech became psittacism
Her endearment became animosity
But her fallacious incantations transfixed my gaze
And I was caught in her blind idolatry

The poison in her insidious words
Tore through my skin and tissue
Overwhelmed my immunity
As she recited an amused eugloy
Words can be fatal.

© Copyright
Jan 2016 · 519
Finale
Vista Jan 2016
The final page is where it all makes sense
The panorama is complete
Where you tie up loose ends
And *you're not supposed to cheat


But we flipped to the last page
We broke all the rules
Trying too hard to abate
The inevitable whirlpool

And everyone knows you lose interest
If you know how a story concludes,
What's the point in reading
When you know what ensues

But we, we couldn't take it
We ripped out the words
We scribbled on new ones
Attempted to make them work

For years we rioted against kismet
Running around in circles
Defying the looming doom
Pretending to be eternal

It drove us insane, the unending gyre
As we convinced ourselves we were forever
Until one day the faded page floated by
And *
we lurched at it together
It was always in the past.

© Copyright
Jan 2016 · 622
Moments
Vista Jan 2016
I try to hold on to wisps of you,
Caught in the gunfire of my own force
Because a year ago, the beginning of the end began
And I tried to push you out, assuming
That it’s only human
To try to forget when it hurts too much.

And now, you’re a name on a history book page
Learnt but forgotten, fading away
A distant ghost of your smile remains
And I struggle to bring you back,
To feel the same way again
But I can’t.

There are moments, though:
A picture, a song, a letter, a flashback
When the memories we made
All come flooding back:
The magic you did, the illusion you cast
of forever safety, love that lasts.

And one day your great-grandchildren
Will point at a yellowing picture
Forgotten inside a falling-apart card tricks book
Or an old diary with letters to no one
And I’ll tell them with a smile
That that was the man who happened
To teach me how to fight dragons.
Slightly inspired by Taylor Swift's Long Live.

© Copyright

— The End —