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stillhuman Jan 2022
Remember that summer
when it was dry and heavy
but in the evening
the breeze would gently
sway the smoke
of your cigarette in my hand
when you were trying
to teach me how not to choke

And I remember coughing
and laughing it off with you,
how smoke had always
been around me
but my lungs were funny
'bout this direct approach

And we talked 'bout everything
from heartbreak, to lovers, to family
And I truly felt wonder
at the simplicity of those moments
and how much they meant to me

So much I look back to them now
when it's winter and I'm alone
missing your warmth, your voice
and itching for a smoke
everything matters
stillhuman Dec 2021
My brain is soaked
in lukewarm squalor
stagnant it stays
the same darkened
soiled rotten pictures
and I wade
through murky water
of memories
and I
feel at home
Yet I survive in this state of mind
stillhuman Dec 2021
Stumble after stumble after stumble
I have stumbled
through the roots of this forest
there's no light
passing through branches
just the sound of life
right outside it
And I try to reach
outstretch my hands
but my fingers get scalded
as I point them in the wrong direction
But all paths look the same
in the forest
as frantic I try to find
my way out
When they said "it's time to experiment", I should have assumed that meant "trial and error"
stillhuman Oct 2021
Carpe diem my ***
you don't catch the moment
you don't capture life
you just take what you please
and then leave me with ease
you just do as you say
nothing really matters
not tomorrow and not today
you wash your hands
***** them up
and dry 'em on my spine
then you raise your belt
your stomach full
your brain dead
all around people are stopping glass from breaking
but your gaze is lost into the future
a future where I don't exist
and my figure is but a vague image
lost in the mass grave of shadows
you've met and forgotten
while I took on more
And more
And more scars on my back
from carrying all of your weight
but you don't see
You are at peace
no better place for you
than someone else taking the fall
I have never been capable of being angry at you and I never thought I would. But you've taught me to expect the unexpected.
stillhuman Oct 2021
Everything was dark
in our house
but our home was safe and sound
and we were laughing
like Gods had nothing on us
and life was fulfilling for us
and the night would go on
for hours on end
without us felling tired
and our wishes had been granted
stillhuman Sep 2021
I drink it all
like a thirsty creature
from the scarred hands
of my God
loving
nurturing
Tell me all your stories
I drink them all up
stillhuman Sep 2021
I lay
dormient
as the colours of the world
spin around
me
This state of mind is poison that you ingest on your own
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