everything does come back to you
it's funny how i once laughed at love songs
how i said it was cheesy and immature
those young fellas who seem to enjoy each others' companion
oh how i despised them when i was young

a philosophy in my mind worked out
that whoever comes will soon go away
even though you think she's your forever friend
or the true love that you've been waiting
they might and would always leave you behind
that is why you gotta train yourself
to be alone
to be independent
to be strong

but, what is this feeling?
it's something that i should ignore
no, wait, now it hurts
this sensation of lonesome
gluttons my very soul

yes, please, i need a friend
someone whom i can love legitimately
and knows how to love me back wholesomely
save me from this unwanted gloom
that kept eating up my pride and my smile

my tears, like the last dewdrop in a drought
fell into my eyes as i write this poem
it is a call for help
a lonely blue whale's last song
do you think someone would hear me out?

I'm staring out the window,
and the souls that stare back at me
seem just as lost as I am.

They all look like they've seen love,
and have lost it from their grasp.
I let that fact comfort me.

I fall in love with strangers on the street,
picturing a life with them as if the illusion
isn't blinding the way I live my life.

I’m happy
(I’m depressed)

I love myself
(I hate myself)

I can’t wait to live my life
(I can’t wait to die)

I am lucky to have my friends
(why do they even like me?)

I have a family who loves me
(and I continue to disappoint them)

I am an excellent student
(I can’t focus in school)

I want to travel the world
(will I even live to do that?)

I’m fine
(I’m not fine)

I’m perfectly okay
(please help me)

do you still love me
do you still love m
do you still love
do you still lov
do you still lo
do you still l
do you still
do you stil
do you sti
do you st
do you s
do you
do yo
do y
do
d
di
did
did y
did yo
did you
did you e
did you ev
did you eve
did you ever
did you ever l
did you ever lo
did you ever lov
did you ever love
did you ever love m
did you ever love me

(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.

Because the spaces between
These broken lines
Sketched onto my skin
           and the
Spaces within these ugly scars
Cut into my back
There lies a million words
Left unsaid and shattered
Tucked inside of a chest
Buried into the folds
In the darkest corners
Of my messed up mind
...
Oh how I wish
I could give you the key
To unlock it all
...
Yet my fate
Remains sealed
Inside my clenched hands
And within my quivering lips
...

It's beautiful,
the sun rising.
It's beautiful,
the sun setting.
For how it coloured the sky,
into a combination,
of rose quartz and serenity.
For every time,
the colour changed.
It's beautiful,
how I thought of them.
For every time,
I stare at the pantone sky,
and paint colour in my eyes,
ㅡ I know, they felt the same.

high on the plant
that grows out of the soil
reaching far against the turmoil
the turmoil called life
the turmoil called death
fist to fist on an endless fight