I have kissed boys

Girls

People in between

But lately I have been kissing bottles

Their lips are colder than yours

But slowly I have realized that the pounding headache when I wake is less hurtful than the shattering in my chest

Yet as these toxins rush through my veins

I can't help but miss the tracing of your fingers along my skin

Miss the numbness of the world when you lie with me

But when I wake I remember that a headache is treated with an aspirin

While heartache

Well if you have a cure for Heartache let me know

Every sip I take
Every bad choice I make
Nothing makes me forget
That every single time
..
I break

It was not dying to the life, sleep,

so one can be reborn in the morn’.
  
As we inhale, aspire, we exhale, inspire,

the breath of life is spiritual.

So too, to awake is as a promise

we made before we were born,



to be life.  It is, this new day

is given to be anew.

Awakened newly to the world,

which has also evolved in it’s newness.  

It's for us to find and be what it is

to be this new day.

we grow up
watching movies
of the princess
marrying the
brave sweet prince
and
they live
happily every after

but

what if that
is not all
what if the princess
wants more
what if the princess
does not feel the same
way years later

they teach us
when we find
the one we love
to marry them
and live happily ever after

but

what they
do not teach
is
when
is it time to
walk away
and
leave this
chapter

                  behind

i dont know what to do.
i love him.
he has taught me so much about love.
about what i need in a partner.
about how i want to be treated.
he has taught me that i can trust.
he has taught me i can be soft.
he has held me in times where i was broken.
he has pieced me back together.
fragment by fragment.
he has supported me emotionally.
he has always made sure to communicate with me.

why am i feeling different now?
why does he keep saying he will try harder?
when he has not seen me in 3 weeks?
when we spent everyday together prior?
when he decides to be lazy?

i dont know what to do
i am crying
i am exhausted
i dont know what to do

once upon a time
long ago
there was a you and me

i knew you once
and it was nice
silence was comfy
and we didnt have to try

i knew you once
long ago
you shared your secrets
and i shared mine

i knew you once
long ago
but where did you go...?

don't tell me
there are other
fish in the sea

when you're
the entire ocean
to me

why do i crumble
fall into pieces of
oats and sugar
something beautiful
in a white bowl, but
a mess on the floor
when i wake up
in an empty house
why do i wither like
brown leaves
under brand new and
borrowed boots atop
autumn sidewalks
when i’m alone,
i’m alone,
i’m alone
it is not enough
to eat breakfast
however small
to wash my hair with
coconut milk
to not step out into
the busy street;
i freeze before the ice
touches me
i do not allow
the chance to warm
my own hands
i lie down, on
***** sheets,
and wait for someone
anyone
anything
to awaken me