Peppermint sigh
In the calm twilight
The moon yawns
And stretches, over the sea

Glowing, beyond the extent
Of vision, of knowing
Slowing, down now
Freezing, right where it is

One big mystery
Forever left unsolved
We get away with it
Time for Plan B

I clutch my chest
My heart beats quickly
Then hesitates before
Stopping abruptly

It's nauseating
Noise-consuming
Time-consuming
We are waterproof

Cheap bystanders
In the headlights
Not the headlines
If only vision were clearer

Closer, stronger
Hold on to me
Loosen your grip
On reality

Let go
I'll always be here, for you
Let's go
I'll always be yours, my dear

I thought I knew what missing someone was
an ache
in the deepest pit of your stomach
that hits you like a truck - trucks hit you all at once
I was mistaken.

I thought I knew what missing someone was
And so
I sat listening to these songs and
That jumper I picked out today - it didn't fit perfect but it
brought me comfort.

I thought I knew what missing someone was
It's crept
All up and upon me so slowly, so
stealthy and disguised, our everyday things - they each piled inside of me
one by one.

I thought I knew what missing someone was
And until
I met you, it wasn't all bad
But I am wrapped in us - our clothes. our pictures and songs.
I miss you.

I miss you
I see now
That before you
I'd never missed
any one person
Not a little -
Not a once -
Not an ever -
Not at all.

I can only hope you don't miss me
Because the thought of you feeling this
Is so much worse
Than to not be thought of at all

Don't.

I am two years clean today
Two years sober, if you may
I don't understand how I got to this point
I don't want to quit, nor disappoint

I once dreamt of getting to seven
Or else failing and going to Heaven
Instead, I got to 3-6-5
Twice and I am still alive

Alas, I do admit that I miss it
And I do still wish to inflict it
Upon myself, upon my body
Yet I have no new scars upon me

I have achieved something great
It is something to celebrate
And I have been torn many times
But never in vertical lines

I do not recall what it's like to be emotionally stable
Even now I'm dreaming of cracking my head off the edge of this table
If only I had the courage, yes, if only I were able
Then I could end it right here and now, destroying my false label

Loneliness is better in the company of others
Loneliness is better when I'm not alone

Loneliness is better when surrounded by loved ones
Loneliness is better when I am not home