I know you think
I’m counting down the days
But I’m just trying to make
The days count.
People tell me
45 is so young,
Why would I want to believe
I’ll be gone by then?
I say
It has taken me 18 years
To get where I am.
I’m afraid
Of what will happen
After 18 more.
On a premonition that I’m going to die fairly young