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one morning I woke,
unaware it would be my last.

not my last morning breathing,
but my last without you
on my mind.

I suppose I am to blame.

I am the one who lit the match,
the one who began the game.

now I’ve lost myself.
lost myself in you.

not just in you,
but in your lies
& your lips
& your arms.

you’re everywhere
& now I’m left to wonder…
where am I?
- a poem I wrote at 15
he swore he could provide me with oceans
when all I could give back was a mere
dew drop.
And so I let him go.

5840 days isn’t a long time to be on earth
when you really think about it.
& if all goes well I should have at least another 20440 until I take my last breath.

so why rush so fast into what’s nearly guaranteed temporary?
call me a pessimist, but love is just a feeling.
and all feelings are temporary when you’re 16 years old.

so when such things are so short-lived,
why waste time on exclusivity & commitment?
especially on someone with such different visions on what love is supposed to be.

no one is obligated to provide reciprocation.
despite the other party’s ambitions or
the strength of how they feel,
some things just aren’t meant to be—
some people just weren’t made to love the same.
so be patient.
savor your youth.
& choose wisely your first love.

but when you’re ready to love?
you love hard.
you love recklessly.
you love exactly as you would want to be loved.
because regardless of its ability (or inability) to last,
love is never easy to forget.
and love should not be taken lightly.
- a poem I wrote back when I was 16 & afraid of love
Emm Sep 2024
Hey, how are you today?
Eaten yet?
What's for lunch?
I'm just about to go online
I miss you...
Love you...

Do you want to be my pretend boyfriend?
Let's pretend you are mine for a while
Simulate the expressions and situations
Is this what I want?
Split my headspace for someone else but me
Another emotional burden to ensure you're okay
A stranger...
All through but a cold hard screen...
Typed words unread...
Or left on read...
'K'...
No, I'm not 'Kay'...
Am I even real?
Are you even real?
Is this what we want?
It feels like prentend...
It feels like make believe...
Something I cannot attain,...
Or maybe I'm just naïve...
Even though we really are,
Lovers...
louella Mar 2022
they locked lips as the evening sank further
and further
and further
the sun took one last peek
i stood in shock
and heard the band slow their music
slicing open my heart
pulling its strings
and i am still here
half dead
but wishing someone would also do that to me
or that the moonlight could help me breathe
choose the tongue over comfortability
I wanted to cry
But my throat was dry
I just don’t think I’ll ever be loved
It costs too much

Sorry for sad boy hour lol
3/30/22

edit: i cannot believe this embarrassing not even poem is the most viewed on my profile haha. and i’m 18 now and still never had a kiss yet
D Cole Mar 2022
The feeling of your absence doesn't bother me,
I guess because I never lost you.
I want to move on,
but fragments of ecstasy pierce my heart,
reminding me that you're no longer mine.

When you cross my mind,
my heart skips a beat,
I just wish it also skipped the feeling, that you're weren't enough for me,
Maybe I'd still have you in my arms.

°d_cole
vanessa marie Feb 2022
im addicted to you
to your laugh and your smiles
your "i havent seen you around in a while" 's
and i've made most of it up in my mind anyway
i romanticize the little things
like your bedroom and the way your t shirt clings
i can see our future so clearly its scary
its not happily ever after by any means
but its enough for now
its enough for us in our teens
lucidwaking May 2021
Your passion blooms yellow,
Like the smile of a rising sun.
The wind blows and the daffodils bellow -
They echo a crescendo.
Their spring has begun.

Their song flows across the ground,
Blooming budding emotions in its wake.
The nectar, mixed into the soil mound,
Has enough oxytocin to make a soul ache.

These daffodils grew over the snow in my lawn,
Melting the cold as their roots gripped the earth.
I kept warm among the blossoms as the hours rolled on.
My mind gradually defrosted - like a cerebral rebirth.

My winter has mostly ended, indicated by each perennial.
I have you to thank for planting the first bulb out there -
Double digging the stubborn dirt, yet remaining congenial,
Despite the unfit sod and icy air.

I owe it to you that I've recovered whatsoever:
My cognitive crime scene, solved with your empathetic luminol.
Perhaps young love is a foolish endeavor,
But if that's so, then I'm the most foolish fool of all.

So I'll unabashedly listen to your daffodil crescendo,
And resonate with the joy in your living rhythm.
I'll plant you some chrysanthemums to match in yellow,
So we can sit together with them.
Critiques welcomed!
B May 2021
Our world was cemented fresh linoleum tile
you always bent down to reach my voice,
I was so sweet, I feel so vile.
You tell her she reminds you of daisies and August sunshine
I smell out the ***** of cinnamon, I am canine.
Thought you were all mine.

I know she's breathless
as you shake the bed,
dancing dyad, snowed with asbestos.
And I could be edgeless
sand myself down just for you.
Polish every crevice,
I am a god in a teenage body
I could be edgeless
like a marble cast of paresis
settled upon your pew.
Duckie Apr 2021
Street cleaners gather beneath crisp tree leaves,
Collecting cloudy tears along the hem of their hoods,
Their oversized coats reminding me of the night
we shared a bench within the downpour of the city,
You demanded I kept my hood down,
Allowing raindrops to trickle atop the bridge of my nose
As your fingers traced the cherry red tips of my ears,
I spent many minutes contemplating how
I would explain my state to my mother,
Settling on the notion to flee to my room the moment I returned,
Soon enough sense turned hazy,
Your violet lips nicked my own,
In a sickly speed.
Austin Mizelle Mar 2021
Old eyes gaze upon
Young faces. So in love they
Were, so young and dumb.
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