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Ami Shae Apr 2017
Seems every time I come here I see
another change to my beloved HP--
oh well, I guess I'll try to stick around
and hope my writes don't sink or drown
in this abyss of the unknown --
(which seems to be the here and now) --
I hope all my peeps are still here somehow
and hope too that everyone knows I still care
it's just so disconcerting to come here and stare
and wonder what the heck is going on here
Perhaps in time it will all become clear?# Ami
I just don't feel as inspired as I used to when I come here. It's kinda depressing. I hope I get the hang of this place again before long. It's late...I'm going to try to come back when I'm more alert and read and comment when I feel a little more coherent. I hope each of you are doing okay. (((hugs)))
ln Sep 2016
my body and thoughts are split into half right in the middle
there is a parallel cut right through my heart, splitting me into two

there is a part of me that wants to survive to see tomorrow,
and then a part of me that is so tired and just needs it to end; now

there is a part of me that wants to prove that recovery is possible,
and then a part of me that says maybe you won't be the one to prove it

there is a part of me that wants to write, and keep writing
and then a part of me that just wants to sleep and never wake up

there is a part of me that wants to get married, have kids and be happy
and then a part of me that says i would slit my wrists and my kids would be traumatized for life

there is a part of me that tries to convince me that tomorrow will be better

but how many times do you have to tell yourself that tomorrow will be better - before tomorrow is actually better?

i am two halves that contemplate between life and death,
and i am not sure i will ever be whole and choose only life;

make this stop.
---
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
I see him at his best
but I also see him at his worst.
I see him when he can't stand the world
and when he can't stand himself.
I see him when he yells for nothing
and when he yells for everything.
I see him when everything goes from fine
to crashing down around him.
I see it
but I can't stop it.
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
My mind is numb,
my soul is numb,
my body is numb.
All I could do is to
drink and think of you.
All I'm left out with is
that bottle of Jack Daniel's
and last night memories.
Do you remember that night?
when we sat under the Moon,
hands in hands, taking promises
from each other and taking promises
from love, not to leave us alone.
I remember where stars took us,
I remember we sat on the edge of
that waxing crescent and talked
about our dreams, passion, love
and about us.
I remember the wind
was so wild and young,
I remember how the wind
danced with us.
But now that we are not there today,
the moon is going to bleed,
so have you packed your things
and are you ready to die?
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
Feelings fade,
people change,
Happiness becomes part of our past,
Sadness becomes part of our daily routine
and then we get lost in our own darkness,
believing that we'll live again but the bitter truth is
that we dont live again,
instead of living again,
we die again and again.
Our souls are killed by our own hands
and then we ask
'' Am I the murderer of my happiness?''
and then the reply comes
-''you know the answer very well'' .
Sydney Marie Apr 2016
I know I am okay with her being your second.


Because I know I will always be your first,
And your *best.
always & forever
Even though you are gone and not mine.

Oh my, my spelling, sorry..
Massi Lee Feb 2016
I loved you once,
when that grey beanie was new.
You kissed me with your neck so high I thought you'd never move
But it was only me,
Went down on you so often my nose ring got infected.
There is still a scar, forever on my face, quite literally.
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