and it feels like commitment.
and that begins a tug-of-war
inside me.
i want to give her to give me all of her.
but that means returning
the priceless gift.
i want to open myself, let her inside.
but how do i give what has
always been taken?
i want to know what it means to be in love.
but in my dictionary, “in love”
is undefinable.

He is afraid of his future
Unsure what path to walk
Upon his tightrope of pressure
He walks without a safety net

If he looks down he falls
If he looks up he becomes dizzy
His only option is to look straight ahead
Eventually he will reach the other side to safety

But it isn’t about the start or the end
It is about the journey and the adventure in between
It will work itself out
If he keeps a level head and his balance is set

He will see his future fall in place before it's met
And kiss the thin rope he had tread
As it took him on the path that showed to him
The meaning of destiny, fate, and chance

If I got seriously injured during
A soccer game and
Started crying,
It would not be because of the
Pain of the injury.
It would be because I was worried
I couldn't keep playing.

The time is drawing closer, what seems to have felt like a lifetime , was a little over two years.
Although our lives were changed on August 1, 2012, when your accident took the life of your best  friend.
They sentenced you to 30 months of prison 5 years of  probation,   one mistake during this time 15 more years to spend .
So many things have changed in such little time since you've been behind that fence of barbed wire which is soon to end.
I am so ready for you to be free from those bars and become whatever your heart desires.
All I ask of you son, when I pick you up, before you take your first  step into freedom, leave the prison mantality behind that fence and never look back.  Take with you only what you need and that your freedom requires.
From that moment on every decision and choice you make will pave the road for your life and freedom.
Remember the ones that carried you and anyone one else you don't need them ,
Please believe me son they don't have your best interest at heart and never truly do.
My excitement and fear are about the same I'm worried sick over you
If I could make you step outside the box maybe then you would see.
There's not but one that's rode with you and will always guide you right and son that one person is me.

I know how much time you spent on your hair so I will not touch it,
but think of how soft it would feel running across my skin.
I know you hate it when I walk around in nothing,
so I'll try and teach you the ways to love your own body.
And I am here to be your crash pad when you get laid off at work
and come home crying.
And before the day is done I'll carry you into the woods and we'll put our feet in the lake to forget our tragedies,
and remember we're still young at heart.
There is no need to grow up and worry about your looks.
Worry how other people,
we don't know,
think about our bodies
and if they are silently judging.
Let's not worry about money.
We'll just camp in a tent on the lakeside when we lose our house.
And we'll go with the river,
play around like children
and enjoy life and live worry-free.

sometimes the sky can seem overwhelming to me.
sometimes looking at it,
this big, great feeling washes over me and makes me feel still.
for this short while i feel my eyes and my mind make me relive everything that's been worrying me.
looking at the color changing sky,
i get the feeling of wanting to cry.
because worry and sadness and misfortune is woven into my existence,
it's a part of me that can't be erased and it's a part of me that no matter how hard i try i attract these negative things.
oh how i envy how i'm here and the sky is up there.
i want to chase it in hopes that one day i'll become a part of it.