We are slowly sinking into slumber,
Into life's dark depths...
Is this what they fear?

Hush now,
Feel the waves hug us,
Let them
Pull us down, slowly, gently...

Under curtains of lights
Where memories die,
See the sea's corals
Merge into one colour...

So,
Did anyone tell you
How beautiful death looks
From down here?

Winter shoved soft snow
Summer came in fierce fervour
Passing seasons gone
Joys and sorrows also pass
Never hurry, why worry?

The way you're sleeping with no worry in your head,
while I'm crying and weeping endlessly in my bed,
makes me wonder ever so slightly
"What the hell is going on in my psyche?"
You, a wonderful and humble creature,
I'm begging you to be my teacher.
I'm holding on to this heavy burden,
while you willingly embrace the uncertain.
As i am gently stroking that fur of yours,
the turmoil in my head is ending its wars.
And though I am aware that you're in no need of affection,
your glistening gaze is still seeking for my attention.
I'll ask myself "Are you lonely too?",
but your eyes wander to somewhere else anew.
I f*cking envy you.
But something deep inside me tells me
that as soon as I'll leave your side mercilessly
you will look after me sadly
and feel pity towards me

really, really badly.

and finally,
maybe

understand me?

© fey (21/12/19)

i wonder what it feels like to live without worry.

is it like a flowing river, forever in motion, with nothing but the rocks to slow it down?

or is it like my childhood dog gnawing on a bone in my back porch?

to live without worry or true damage is a goal that will never be attainable.

to live a life of indifference.

i want it, i want it.

Sitting here seeing
A parade of thoughts
ideas, worries, and preoccupations
Passing by like vehicles
Streaming along a city interstate
Rolling around inside
And me
Without a map or particular direction
Sunday driving through brooding distractions

Mind watching prompts discontent
Something is missing
Seeking inside the breath
As it flows downward then up and out
A new feeling emerges
A feeling of being engulfed
Surrounded by calm
To carry me to a new place
Mindfully lost in thought
To discover moments
Of the peace that passes
All understanding

you've filled every thought in my head
that you follow me back from home into bed.
I worry about who I'll be when I'm dead,
when all that I am is just of you instead.