Until the day I die swear I will never stop loving you
Until you prove you mean it what am I supposed to do?
You did things to display to everyone
Proud you were of me
Those days are done
Apart from Instagram posts teeming with corny lines
Rarely make the effort I need to see you remain mine
Start following through plans you make
Try to be extra nice when I first wake
Do not throw away the cards I construct
For birthday or Christmas no matter how ******
They may be unpleasantly messy
They are created with love
It hurts when to the side you crudely shove
Distressing seeing how little I mean
All that we hoped you no longer dream
Of lost joy and the friends who used to care
No longer expecting me to be there
I am sorry for being part of the reason why
No longer carry the spark in your eye
It was not my intention to cause you pain
Now your suffering is my greatest shame
All I wanted was for us to both become something more
Now I'm wistfully wondering what I did that for

Yesterday I found myself dreaming
Yesterday I found myself thinking
Yesterday I found myself wondering
Yesterday I found myself pondering
Would I be the person that I am
If I were a man?

she wished
she could be done
searching
and wondering
if she chose correctly
or if she
was going the wrong way
she just wished
she could find
her path
her right way

she was afraid
when they looked
at her
what did they see
always wondering
what they were thinking
how do they feel
analyzing every
little thing she said
overthinking
she just cared
so much
she just wanted to be
accepted