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Ren Sturgis Jan 2022
It takes time to erase
the mistakes
that I've put in my soul.
But to take one mistake at a time
is to make me whole.
To play a part in this game
is to play a role.
But to remove all my mistakes
is my ultimate goal.
I am aware now that making mistakes allow you to be human and to learn and grow.
Nikita Jan 2022
People notice.
Their eyes and minds,
Focused on you.
Like a street lamp,
Judgment flickers,
Off and on.
You have a reason
That I understand?
No judgement.
You have an excuse
That I can't relate to?
Fix yourself.
Work on yourself.
Blame yourself.
Shape yourself.
Wait.

You are not broken.
There is nothing to fix.
You are whole as you are.
Like Kintsugi
You put yourself back together.
More beautiful than you
Ever were.
I have been taking care of myself for the past 23 years. I am no longer accepting life advice from anyone who believes I'm a project to fix.
James Rives Nov 2021
reaching what you feel is unlimited potential,
trusting that you’re the main character of
your story—
you’re disavowed by actuality.

there is more in believing, trying, doing—
you are love and light and concise metaphor.
sometimes salt-soaked irreverence
in the face of reality. Scraping,
laughing, yearning.
All that you’ve accomplished with a smile
and full heart is yours.
You are inadequate and whole.
Abi Nov 2021
“I wish I wrote the way I thought;
Obsessively,
Incessantly,
With maddening hunger.
I’d write to the point of suffocation.
I’d write myself into nervous breakdowns,
Manuscripts spiraling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing.
And I’d write about you a lot more than I should.”
-Benedict Smith

But instead I write nothing
And hope that my thoughts are understood through my actions
Knowing the impossibility of it all
Because of the enigma that I was and continue to be
Desperate to fix myself when there is nothing broken
Grasping at pieces to make whole what was never shattered in the first place

I have created an illusion for myself to live with my trauma and try to label what makes me different
But I am slowly realizing that trauma does not define me
And my differences are what make me unique
What give me the power to view the world the way I do
What will enable me to change the broken world around me and finally allow myself a sense of peace

Some may say that I am selfish, to want to fix others but to never acknowledge my own flaws
This is not me saying I am perfect, but instead me finally giving myself closure from the wounds inflicted upon me by others... and by my self
No longer need I patch myself up and play the role designed by those trying to mold me into what they think I should be
No more do I daydream about the ways I could love you but never be loved in return
For the first time, I am free
Cheers to letting go of the things we cannot control and allowing ourselves to heal
GaryFairy Oct 2021
That every thought had real meaning
and every person could see that meaning
that we were cool shade from a tree
and every tree was made for leaning

that every feeling was a good feeling
and every person could feel that feeling
that everyone had thoughts that heal
and every one was into healing

that every mind was made for cleaning
and every person could do their cleaning
that in every trash pile we would see
and find treasure with such meaning

that every killing was just time killing
and every person could see that killing
that my fulfillment is for you to fulfill
and not just a worthless filling
you feel me? fill me?
GaryFairy Oct 2021
hello, i am manager Skip Hopper, here are your team rules for baseball. follow these rules and then follow the base line home

first you need a home plate
then you measure the space between the base
then we must put the base in the proper place

ok slugger, the players have rules
please stand for the national anthem of your country
after all, it is your country, even more so than corruption's country
look at all your fellow countrymen, who came to see you
that's your photo on a sports card, and your name in lights
those racists and haters are afraid of the lights
you must have a lot of power, please don't choke
only in the country that old stars and stripes flies over
would you even have a right to sit down when a nation stands
don't stand for the flag, stand for your right to choose
after all, is it not a signal from your brain that you follow?
you have more white people on your side than a lot of white people have

even if it is a white man signing your paycheck, it's all the more polar opposite of what is for some.
plus you think the kids want that white to sign a ball?
my team plays ball, and not politics
then my team shares with all races and colors
my team looks to win, on and off the field
welcome to team victory!

you'll bat first until you show me that home run capability

watch the ball and the pitcher
do what you have to do, even if you have to take a pitch to the arm
get to the first base, and lay claim to it
don't get attached to that base
a base is just a rest stop on the way to home
after today, we will no longer call it a base
think of it as a step on your front porch
calling it a base is like calling a baseball bat a baseball glove
now, the team is counting on you to get to first
then you have to count on your team to bring you home
this whole stadium is full of team members too
this whole league is on your team, in ways
the guy who makes the season schedule has a certain amount of teams
he must arrange the schedule according to us, and then do the hard part
math...
you know us dumb jocks can't do math, or much else really
that's why it's all about the numbers guys sometimes, too
why do you think we wear numbers
everything has to have a system to work properly
there may be some rules or players that you don't like

I don't like a 1st step, or 3rd step coach myself
after all, that's kind of undermining the manager
we don't need them looking over anyone's shoulder
that kind of **** even makes me nervous
i'm not the type of manager that looks over my team's shoulder

everyone wants a title...standing there just to tell you to go
that would be a fan
like i'm gonna just split my job three ways?
then hire people to stand on the steps of your porch?
and they're gonna tell you how to get home, when you are home?
i hired two guys who are into that "curling" crap
that is not a man's game
plus, why doesn't the guy with the broom sweep before the guy pushes that thing that is round
a puck maybe? it's not round, but i guess the circumference is a perfect circle
now a baseball, that is round
anyhow, i gave them their titles they wanted

head coach of ball scratching affairs
and head coach of spit buckets
it's so funny to see them be so serious about sweeping and ****
they concentrate so hard that i think they could scratch that spot on a player's *****
that spot that the players can't seem to scratch
who knows, i will tell head (ball boy) coach to look for *****
they're just like all canadians...innocent
i can't figure why a baseball team has a better flag though
a maple leaf? take off aaayyy

call everything by a sensible name

they call a rubber thing a base, and they call home a plate
see, a base is something you spend time on
a plate is something you clean twice during, and after a meal
well, on our team we try to keep the the next guy in line fed'
so, he is on your steps and it's as easy as handing him the plate
knowing you and your family have more than enough
knowing your fellow batters will hand you a plate when you're on their steps

remember, you don't follow the rules...
you step up to the plate, and the rules follow

it's really all about the fans

they are our world, and when our world does good
the cheers turn into waves and vibrations
like a fine machine, the sound becomes a hum
you can literally see the waves travel through the stadium

maybe this will catch on again

those waves travel beyond our world
just maybe some little green men will take notice
maybe they will respect us for how we make a diamond into a circle
or just maybe the world series will be known as the universal series
we could really use some competition

these other managers think they are so great
but one loss and they pinch their hitters and runners
then they try to change the rotation
you can't change a dang rotation without stopping
well, in our world, we have faith in the rotation
i also have faith in each player, and as our whole team
we are whole, keep that in mind always

that's why our team is called the country whole
plus, just naming it that, the whole country got tricked
they used to think we were tobacco spitting country boys
that positive energy really is like a snowball going downhill

our two head coaches love snow and hills
haha...everyone from canada is a comedian without trying
the great white north huh?
let's hear it for cheese curds and hat tricks
this is baseball and apple pie land
and by the way canada...

why aren't there any canadians on your major league baseball teams?
you make it hard to call it the world series
you also made ham and called it bacon

sorry slugger, sore spot...but anyhow

we all have a job to do, and doing it right is always a self win
counting on others, and trusting them to do their job, makes your job easier

there are a lot of rubber arms
they will be throwing all kinds of curves at you
only swing at pitches that are in your strike zone
never swing at breaking ***** and they can't break you

now, get out there and get a hit, walk, or home run
see you around the home slugger...know this

i guess my managing isn't needed here
i'm headed to club to watch in comfort
i don't know why people miss out on so much to be at the game
i'm a fan more than i am a manager
either way, we all know what's going to happen every time
we will extend our undefeated streak another game
like a fine oiled machine
making a perfect circle out of a diamond
while canadians scratch our ***** like fine oiled curlers
haha, scratching so seriously like that kills me

my team is awesome!

remember, this is not america's game
it's not baseball, and we know that
base and ball touch and you're out
then you'll run from a base and be shot by military police for going awol
just kidding slugger, tell the team i say hi and thanks for being on the team
i will tell the rest of the home team at that press conference *******

welcome to the big leagues kid

play ball!

take me out to the bar!
Japanese baseball...haha...is that like Japanese Texas? Or is hitting out of the park also and out of country home run? Sorry, the new me only picks on who and what doesn't get all **** hurt...nukes didn't even **** hurt them! A whole country. A whole tiny little country.
Eve Sep 2021
C4.
Have you ever screamed so silently loud
That your brain feels like it'll explode?

Powerful, that moment when you're trying to gather the pieces of your brain together. Trying to make it whole, knowing that it's that same wholeness that made you want to scream it off in the first place... Chic.

-fir.m
GaryFairy Sep 2021
why do wolfpacks attack and reject other wolves?

well?

he was wearing a wire - bahahaha crowd roars
he was an arab - crowd roars
he was a black wolf - crowd enjoys
he was a white wolf - crowd roars
he was a jew wolf - crowd enjoys
he was a catholic - crowd enjoys
he was a christian - crowd stunned
he was a republican - crowd stirs
he was a liberal - crowd riot

the comedian was killed by a crowd of people later that night, including a mexican and black man. 100 people are in jail awaiting charges. some charges may be dropped due to we suspect that someone was next...at least one
hey i'm no comedian but comedians aren't poets...i love me some comedy though
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