by Arcassin Burnham

....And you just took it all away,
thinkin you save the human race,
eyes to the skies and reaches of space to
give my feelings a whirlwind,
no one ever really
plays it safe,
I'm doing deeds to make you stay,
I've got eyes to thebsky and back against the pave,
and a hand full of silver dollars and jars filled with the freshest tea,
it'll take a life time for the emotions to cave,
in,
but the motto is live , die ,repeat,
put me through the motions and see how many bad reactions that will be bestowed upon me,
myself,
I've already done damage,
memories,
they hurt,
but I just say **** it.

I have a
disconcerting.... habit.
not drugs Mind you
or the like,
its a phrase- or more honestly a turn of one.
"Come Along."                                                          ­  Strangly simple right?
For the life of my life i don't know
WHY
I repeat it.

Am i perhaps
reMinding my Mind
"be Mindful of those landMines planted by that Mindless mad man"?!

in honesty,
i doubt it.

By Arcassin Burnham

Constant conscious loving all the little things
In life,
Can't let these little things like clouded emotions
Spark a light,
Out to be gifted but Santa's shop is closed this night,
Remembered your name in desperate times but
You forgot about mine,
so,
Thats why I don't belong,
Here,
I can just say ***** it and end up giving my
Life to a man I've never seen ,
messing up my Vision with the bright light,
I maybe be would be judged with a small smite,
But everything gets cold when frost bites,
And you don't feel so holy when the heart dies.

If an end can be a beginning
And a beginning can be an end
Then I'm probably a rough corner
Too odd for life to bend
Stretch into conformity?
I hope that doesn't happen to me.
I owned my weirdness long ago
If you gave me drugs that would probably normalize me

So if I ever feel better, If I ever go outside when it's warm in a turtleneck sweater
Put a lyrical bullet through my brain
Because I'm far from normal, if you see me that way I've gone insane

what a beautiful sight, you should have seen
the blood! should have seen the anger and bitter hot tears
and shiny metal
and swollen lips from biting as if
you're trying to shut that voice up inside you because they
speak through you through your mouth and
red lips, teeth
use your tongue and chest shout for them to go away
its not working, it never works
but you won't stop trying and you want
your veins to run hollow and to bleed yourself dry
because you feel like an empty shell
the only thing inhabiting you is
the harsh voices
but they are
unwanted and they are bad news
and you don't know if you should stand up or not
or if that will increase blood flow because you will fall over
and see white dots like
fairy kisses in your eyes and on your skin and God won't
accept you to heaven because you've been told
killing yourself is a sin
but is hell really that bad because you already feel you are there
when really your heart is still beating and your
brain is still thinking
and your arms are still bleeding and you're still shouting
at everything to
please
be quiet just for a moment
to get everything straight

but you're not allowed to leave so you're staying on Earth
and you're so used to the voices you often get mixed up
which ones are real and which ones are in my head?
a very common and almost daily question you ask
yourself and sometimes others without realising

and what is it about depression being beautiful so maybe
one more tear and one more cut will make people like you
and boys and girls are not just going to be able to fix you just by
holding the key to your heart so stop thinking
the reason you're sad is because you're used or single because
people in relationships are just as sad as you and you are still bleeding and your
heart is still beating and maybe
sweetheart it wouldn't hurt to
sit down.

I'm the friction between your silk sheets
and the picture you hang on your eyelids
I'm the breath that fogs up your bathroom mirror
and the life that you left behind

I'm all the wonders that you bury
beneath you bed to rust along with
the tired Narnian lions
and Middle Earth'bound hobbits

All your fairy tales are over
and as you descend over her
for the final time
and are close- so close-
You realize

Your fairytale
is coming
to an end

I've stayed in a lot of houses in my life, none of which I ever intended to stay for long.
Most of them open easily - there are no locks
just welcoming hosts, always with that same perfidious smile on their face.
They expect me to fall at their feet but they don't know yet that
I am the drug and they are the addict and when they whip up a whirlwind to drag me in I show them how much of a ******* hurricane I really am.
You see, I jump door to door
because my own house is haunted.
maybe once it was a home, but it is now unrecognisable.
All with locks and the windows are sealed shut, it's filled from basement to attic with ghosts who are mourning their losses and grudging their mistakes.

I don't know whether I'm locked in or locked out, and I can't tell you which is worse.