I see a new key close by
Not shiny
Or fancy
Not even sleek
But sturdy-looking
Substantial
And rigid inside.

Knowing myself and,
That every key leads to
New doors
I begin to reach out to it.

But I know that
A murky barrier surrounds it,
Just like the barrier around my heart.
And knowing myself best,
The high ice palace that
I reside upon,
The expansive, endless
Landscape of frozen tidal waves,
And the amount of times it has
Crumpled down
Because of illusions and
Darkness...
I understand
That reaching out quickly will
Break me down.
And it'll probably affect the key too.
However, I can only feel
The ice tower and landscape
That surrounds me
So how can I handle taking care
Of a key all rusted inside,
If I'm just as unstable?

I don't trust myself.
And I don't want to destroy
The key in front of me
Or the barrier that surrounds it
Irresponsibly.

So I will be wary
While reaching towards
This key
Ready to say
Goodbye.

Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterward (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!

                                Big, Biggest Love,

                                               Jeff Gaines

Beautiful of them all
But always wary of the unseen;
Of the unheard but always felt within.
It became an obsession to one that holds attention.

From building a wall,
Into a freakin' house.
Where they could only knock;
On the door but still shut out.

Even that was not safe haven,
Only made her more cautious,
Where the devil peeps through the window;
Even at the brightest day.

Somehow the devil managed to get in,
Registered his stay,
A tenant in the house.
Oh where else is safe?


-HIY

you know how it feels to be ditched and thrown away,
yet you ask me why i'm wary of people.

you know how much it hurts to be broken down,
yet you ask me why i’m wary of people.

you know how it feels to be betrayed by those closest to you,
yet you ask me why i’m wary of people.

you already know why i'm wary of people,
yet you still ask me why.

I don't know what I'm feeling anymore.

He loves me,
     so why can't I let myself love him too?
     What's holding me back?
And he says he loves me too,
     so why am I so wary of his love, and often
     left feeling unfulfilled and deserted?
I don't love me right now,
     and when I look in the mirror
     I don't recognize this person
     in front of me anymore.

My nights are filled with
     stolen kisses and
     drunken ***,
     yet I'm always left alone
     at the end of it.
And it's then, when I'm
     lonely and tearful
     that I question everything,
     most of all
                           myself.

I may have a nose
Succumbed to the stress of suction
But I can still smell a rat

I may have a mind
Fogged by the forest of forgetfulness,
But I can still remember to be forceful

I may have ears
Ringing with the rigour of revenge
But I can still hear your repentance

Illness is in the body
My mind is unaffected
Let's talk
And tell only truths.