You're too pretty to look so sad.

You're too young to feel so empty.

You laugh too heartily to be so numb.

I've loved you too much for your chest to hollow.

You'd loved me too much to to ever want to leave.

You'd disguised yourself too well for me to know better.

I wish I'd known.
I wish I'd known.

They can be found. They can be lost.
They can be warm and tender. They can be icy, like frost.

So beware. Handle with care.
You can never take them back once they're out there.

I should come with a ******* warning label,
cautioning others about my tendencies
toward self-destruction,
and warning them of the consequences
of choosing to get too attached
to the inevitable time bomb of me.

I try to warn them away,
but they don't listen,
or they brush it off as nonsense.

"You shouldn't love me," I say,
eyes deep with grief
because I know the truth of the words.

But nobody heeds my ******* warnings,
so I'm left stepping over the remains
of us, having to live with the knowledge
of what I've done.

******, I tried to tell you.
But no one ever listens,
they refuse to believe.

And in the end I'm left having to watch
you shatter, knowing I'm the cause.
I tried to warn you.
You should've listened.

A gentle reprise from the world's harsh sounds,
A melody, unheard, unseen;
Silence, it deftly and swiftly surrounds,
Transforming your thoughts to visions obscene.

****** and vile, cruel thoughts in your head
Sinister thoughts leave you begging for death.
An ominous visage fills you with dread,
You squirm and struggle, grasping for breath.

And suddenly, crash! A harsh sound awakes.
You curse and you smile, you've won this fight.
The visions are gone, the night you forsake
Cacophony bursts from your chest in full might.

Silence; a gift, or a curse in disguise?
Only you know what in your dreams lies.

Banging my head against the wall
Going through the blood withdrawal
Crying out, screaming out.
My time is ******* running out.
All I hear is the call,
Please let me take the fall.
This terror and pain
It's always crashing through my brain
Not having the will to go on
Can I make it to see the dawn?
Tears falling, crashing
Splashing on this page
Metal in my wrist
Steel through my heart
Take me lock me up
Keep me in the dark
This terror and pain
it's always crashing through my brain
Not having the will to go on
Can I make it to see the dawn?
45 pills and 53 cuts
Blood on the carpet
Don't wake for your touch
When my blood pain'ts the sunrise
Will the tears form in your eyes?
This terror and pain
It's always crashing through my brain
Not having the will to go on
Can I make it to see the dawn?

I waited
   hoping
for what most girls would expect
      I wanted
your hand extended
or maybe the smile I love so much
   But you kept up the façade
        I've been trying to tear down
   you kept your head
                   in your little game
          you strode past
                     eyes never touching me
                you shrunk me
                      making me
                            a part of your wall
I don't know why you belittle me
with absence of words or gestures
       But I'm
just about done taking it
    because I've started to feel like I deserve this
And I don't need guilt
       added to the pile

It will hurt to let you go
          as my hands have grown around you
  but like a doorknob that's heating up
        it will hurt more if I hold on
            and since you'll never open up
and let me in
soon-  I'm going to walk away
         and leave you on the other side
     with no one to torment
      I'll be gone
            and when another innocent girl
   starts walking towards your door
            I'll be there
                   to warn her
       of the dangers you pose
            and the tools you posses
     to hurt her

I'm crying on my break.

My summer romance in winter died before leaves could even
Fall

My sister, younger
Cut her hair like mine
...for a boy

I wish I walked on air
So these footsteps
I tread with a leaking heart
Could not be easily followed

1) It's not your fault
2) You did nothing to deserve this
3) It's okay to cry
3) It's okay to cry for hours
3) It's okay to never stop crying
4) the alcohol will not help
   You'll just see them in
   everyone else
5) It's okay to hide inside of yourself
   Just don't dig too deep
   You just find them again
6) They do not control you
   They do not control you
   They do not control you
7) The leaves moving behind you
   are not them
6) they do not control you
7) If you need to run,
   ******* run,
   run until you can't breathe
   run until you can't see
   just run
1) It's not your fault
   It's not your *******
   fault
   don't you dare let anyone
   tell you it's your fault
1) It's. not. your. fault.
2) You did nothing to
   deserve this
   this isn't karma
   biting you in the ***
2) you did nothing to
   deserve this
3) Cry
   cry until you can't
   breathe
   cry until you can't
   see
   cry.
4) The alcohol will not help you
   they are not demons
   you can't drown them
   in whiskey
5) It's okay to get lost in
   yourself
   Try to find yourself again
   I understand they tore down
   everything that was
   real
   just don't dig so deep
   that you lose everything.
6) They don't control you
   I know you still feel
   locked.
   They do not control you
   They don't ******* control you
7) Run,
   find release
8) Don't forget to breathe
9) Build yourself from the ground up
   your legs are strong
   your torso is the exact image of power
   your arms can lift buildings
   your pinkies can pick
   up cars and you
   don't even blink.
   You are strong.
10) Pick yourself
    back up.
    These pieces are yours
    put them where they
    fit
    put them where you want
    them
    put them down
    throw them away
    leave them exactly where
    they are.
    Pick up yourself
    This rubble doesn't
    mean you're broken.
    These ashes just mean
    you are a phoenix and
    you will burn
    who hurt you.
1) This isn't your fault
2) You did nothing to deserve this
3) Cry
4) The alcohol will not help
5) It's okay to get lost inside yourself
6) They do not control you
7) Find release
8) Breathe
9) You are strong
10) You are a phoenix
11) Everything will be okay, you are your own

You are the cause of my ******* pain
Every text is another lyric to my heartbreak.
Needle holes made from the memory of your face.
Pins and needles rush my body,
to fabricate a synthetic feeling of our kisses.
Morphine warms me through these lonely nights

It's midnight.
Outside, people are singing a birthday song for one of my neighbours.
Inside, I have been taking an ice cold shower for over an hour because it's just as painful as cutting open my skin when I turn the water scalding hot every fifteen minutes, but it doesn't leave any scars.
My phone died. The shrink was trying to talk me out of it and into my own bed, promised he wouldn't leave, wouldn't leave me alone, not him, not this time. He said he would help me through it. I believed him. Still do. I guess I'll find out if that's stupid. Later. When he leaves.
Skin was just talking. She's good at that. She's always been good at that. The way her words wrap around everything bad in my head and suffocate it makes me want to curl up and sleep everything off.
Lumberjack just... just was. I don't know how he knew. He just did. Sometimes I wish I could talk to him.
But there's a reason I pray cold showers will mimic the rain and wash everything away. There's a reason for every faint line on my legs, my arms, my stomach.
I say: Crying is for the weak.
Shrink says: Crying is for those who deal. It's for people who've been strong.
I deal in my own way. It's the only way that seems to work. The only way I can think of. Nothing soothes better than red drops and raindrops.
I should crawl into bed. I should never come out again. I should die here, on the bathroom floor, surrounded by tiles and soap and cold water. I should die somewhere else, somewhere safe, somewhere private. I should seek out an empty spot and slit my wrists. How do you slit your second wrist, anyway? I read that most people pass out before they can make the most damaging cut.
No. I should crawl into bed. There's no reason for thirteen. There's no reason for blood, or death, or my mother crying. There's no reason for flowers or funerals or picking out your best suit.

It's 1AM. I'm still in the shower.