everybody wants to feel good
everybody says that they would
but sometimes life just doesn't play nice
and all they do is complain they don't get treated right
what happens when you run out of people to blame
what happens when you run out of hearts in this game
hate to be caught in a hall of mirrors
hate to be caught where your exterior is inferior
when you know your interior is superior
or to be more exact, you think that you're better than this
you think that you're worth it, you think you deserve it
but do you really if you don't work for it
not everyone understands what it is to feel like you can't
to feel like everything in the world is out of your hands
feeling like whatever you do won't amount to anything
when all you have to lose is everything
what's the goal? a wedding ring or a home?
or a six figure job? would that make you feel whole?
guess you'll never know. you'll never realize until you grow old.

She hurt you once
she hurt you twice
the last strike
and she's out

Goodbye dear lad,
not dear no more!
But, yet, something.
Something inside of
me.
I can't see
that something inside
of me.

It's yelling.
Screaming.
My heart is BEATING!

It just ain't right
But the heart wants what it wants.
My brain says no
yet it still ain't up to me,
for the heart wants what it wants.

Before I went to sleep,
I counted my blessings,
For having you,a beautiful family and trusted friends,
Their care and love,
A roof over my head,
All my needs met,
And many of my  wants too.
Then,you had an accident and departed,
So sudden,no hugs no goodbyes.
Grief gripped my soul,
Agony wounded my heart
Nothing made sense.
Night after night tears drenched
my pillow,
Muffled sobs, my eyes swollen.
Remembering  moments with you,
My heart would break anew.
Until one day my priest made me realize,
You were a blessing too,
HIS trust (amanat) he had given me.

Letting go of wants
Release all expectations
Bask in pure freedom

As I grovel at your feet
And follow your every move
With gashed and bleeding knees
Begging for something that should come naturally
For me it does,
The lust
The longing
The desire
The urge
And the yearning
All the things you have no idea about.
All the things you ignore
And push to the side
Just like my wants and needs
My feelings
And my longing for you
All in a pile labeled
“who gives a **** for whatever happens to this”

I wonder why I’m the sorry one
Feeling horrible for wanting