They say, "if you love something,
let it go" and that, "if it returns,
it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was",
but does that saying apply to people?
Because I don't want to let you go.
I don't want to let you walk
out of the door to my life.
You won't come back, but it's not
because you never were mine.
It's more because you don't have family here,
and once you're gone you wont have a reason
to come back here.
And it's expensive anyway to fly across the country
just for a visit with someone.
But I'll miss you. I don't want to let you go.
*I don't want you to leave me.

"Stay safe, Stay strong" my old friend giving me some words
"Have Faith" they've said "Give your trust unto the Lord"

"It's easy for you to say" I've said
"You see and hear nothing  that will rock your head"

"You are right, They are wrong" voices of my friend from outer space
Supporting my conviction asking me to shout for them to leave our place

"I'm still here waiting my love" said a lady whose name was Jane
Indeed I remembered her, my heart keep calling her name

"Love her? She was nothing compared to us!" those beautiful nymph again
Showing their naked body seems so real that let me forget something

"No one could ever help you' No one could ever heal" my mother voice to feel
"It's only you my son can cure yourself, can give your wound a heal"

"We've won again we've won!" all of them again cheering
While looking at the shadows of my old friend, my love and my mom leaving

"Sir here's my handkerchief" a voice from a nurse unfrozen myself freezing
To then I've realized that my eyes turned into a dark cloud
and now it's really raining...


written: August 27, 2014 @ 8:35 PH standard time

Mysterious Aries

There's a boy
at the door for you
Elaine's mother said
talking to Elaine
at the door of her room

what boy?
Elaine asked

he said his name was John
her mother said
looking unhappy
her voice strained

he's here?
Elaine asked

I’ve just said he is
her mother said

Elaine frowned
how did he know
where I lived?

how do I know
her mother said

where is he?
Elaine asked

by the front door
now get along
and see him
and then tell me
what is going on
her mother said

Elaine went down stars
to the front door
and there he was
the boy John
standing by the door

how did you know
where I lived?
she asked him
leaning by the door
unsure what to do
or say more than that

I asked someone
in the village
and they said here
I got the bus here
from my village
he added

O I see
she said
looking at his eyes
hazel and bright

well invite him in Elaine
don't need to stand
on the doorstep
the mother said

ok
Elaine said
and invited John in
and they walked
into the living room
where he was invited
to sit on the brown settee  

I’m Elaine's mother
and you are John?  

yes,I'm John
he said
we go to school together
he added
on the bus
he put in
after a few seconds silence

I see
the mother said

she sat in an armchair
opposite him
and Elaine sat
on the settee
beside John

Elaine's not mentioned
you before
the mother said
eyeing the boy seriously

O I see
he said
looking at Elaine

never thought to say
Elaine said
looking at her slippers

are you friends
at school?
the mother said

yes
he said
we are

Elaine looked
at her mother
hoping he wouldn't
mention the kiss
he'd given her

we share an interest
in birds and butterflies
he said
gazing at the mother

birds and butterflies?
the mother said

yes I bring my book
to school and we
exchange what
we've seen
he said

O I see
the mother said
unsure of the boy
but thinking
he seemed all right

can I get you
a drink of tea?
the mother asked

he looked at Elaine
then at the mother
yes that would be lovely
he said
one sugar if I may
he added

the mother nodded
and smiled
and went out
to the kitchen
leaving the two alone

why did you come here?
Elaine asked
looking at the boy

I wanted to see you
he said
and I didn't want to
wait until Monday
he added

O I see
she said
feeling uncertain
feeling unsure
what she should
say or do

you don't mind do you?
I didn't think
I came on impulse
I don't usually
but I couldn't get you
out of my mind
he said

really?
she said
a smile lingering
on her lips
but not breaking out

yes
he said
ever since you got off
the bus on Friday
I’ve been like this
and he leaned forward
and planted
a gentle kiss.

The Juju-do endures like a dreamy beer,
Never hate a Jespi,
Seas endure like big beaches Loveland,
Love is a cool breeze.

Never pull a haenyo divers  fishing net,
The small girls roughly commands the sea,
The haenyo divers  Mermaids endures like a warm ship,
Desolation, life, and endurance!

Clouds wave!
Why does the highest mountain hide?
Where are the lively grandfather stones?

Adventure, faith, and love,
Unreal, sunny and chocolate candy too.

All mainlands fight rough, misty winds,
Dreamy shore roughly loves the sun.

Adventure, courage, and life!

Jeju Pony 'Hidden Treasure.”

Sails fall like lively Olle walking trails.
Travel roughly like an island reef,
The sunny ship calmly views the trails.
Sunrise from a volcanic crater.

Sunny fields of barley.

The sun waves goodnight, like a sunny gull,
Sun falls!

Courage, dreams and faith,
Oh! The wonders I have seen!
Jeju-do

© 2013 Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.

I stare at the page
But I can't focus
I am reminiscing
All the feelings
From long ago
I am better than I was
But still
Sometimes
I fall back into the
Darkness
The despair
I used to live with
Constantly
Sometimes I don't even know
Why
But I feel it
Right now
I can feel it
But it is different
It is quieter
Like a memory
Knocking at the window
It won't come in
I will just watch it
Remember it
Write of it
Until I forget
For a moment
And live*
For a moment
But
It will be back
It will slip through my door
That I tried to lock
And it will wrap its arms
Around me
A familiar embrace
That suffocates me
Forces me to
Forget my life
My responsibilities
And lie
Huddled around it
Waiting for it to leave me
For another moment
It is just passing by
It won't come in today
And I can live
Through this moment

Three months ago we said goodbye,
not knowing if we were going to see each other again.
Three months ago I was aching,
hugging and kissing you until the sunrise,
not wanting to let go.
Three months ago you erased my tears
and said "see you soon."
Today I´m packing,
and I got an airplane ticket ready for next week,
today is me who says to you
"see you soon"

Here am I,
Lurking, waiting for you,
I see your face,
In every dream,
I almost love you,
Or so it seems.

I see you walk in,
And I take my chance,
I take you away,
So that we may dance,
I draw you in,
Among the stacks,
Take you so far,
that you won't come back.

With my temptress words,
I draw you in,
Because what I want,
Is lips on skin.
Slowly, sweetly,
You read me like a book,
And if you don't stop,
You'll be hooked.

You come in the night
Wisp of vapour
A spectre reaching out
Waking me with your tendrils touch
And the hunger within.

You're the monster from my closet
Come to haunt me again,
You wear many faces and none
Yet I know you
As I know myself.

My lust answers your need and
I stiffen even as my will melts beneath the icy flames of your ghoulish desire.
I give in, relinquish control and with it my identity,
My soul is yours to devour,
Which you do with great relish,
As we both reach again for that taste of ecstasy.

Too soon it is over,
You return to the depths beneath my bed,
Back into my closet with your fellow demons,
Mostly forgotten,
But for the smile on my face
As I slip into a sated sleep
Even as I pray
That you never visit again.