Here's my poem about stuff that happens
Especially when you're sitting there in front of
A washing machine bored out of your skull,
You've got the world at your fingertips and
Yet that world isn't really whole.
Of course it's obvious I'm only joking,
This is a great time to be "alive!"
Hug your computer, it'll be your
Best friend, your playmate,
Your GF or BF, it will be your
Sweet 16, your  toy your prideful
Joy, it will take you to places far
And wide and never leave your side.
HOORAY! We all get to die without
Having truly *LIVED LIFE!

It was never about 'getting better'
No, I was way beyond that point
See there's a character, values, strengths, weaknesses, beliefs
That shape who we are, how we act, and how we respond

Getting better would mean I'd have to erase the past somehow
To make myself less broken, more oblivious, and happier
All of which I know to be impossible to reverse

Getting better, it's definition has changed so drastically
That it means not being the person
The person I've become
And I know I might have been more likable, fun, and hopeful
Maybe I seemed like a better person than I am now

But if you think I need to be fixed
If you think I still need to 'get better'
Than you don't have any right to be in my life
Because this is who I am now

There's times I wish I could rhyme
Write a poem and sing all the lines
I can't imagine a verse with more strength
Than the undulations from a varicose heart.
I have given you every thud in me.
I don't want you to think. This is anymore than a simple statement.
Something easy and needs not another repeat.
Maybe I can keep this neat:
Tell me your hopes and dreams
Your fears and secrets
I wanna hear your innermost, your deepests.
I should clarify. I don't want to hear.
I want to bear. I
want to bear upon your truths.
Maybe you can then attest, that I am here
for the rest of you,
we.
I don't strive to be the best
for just you and me.

I strengthen and climb
because what else is there to do with time?

Tell me your favorite of the virtues and sins
Tell me the worst of both
I want you to show
me your lock and key.
Because I am envy.
I am pride.
I am greed.
Oh, but I am not sloth and the other three?
Is this really
me
you are conversing with?

I am all these things, and I
have shed the past toxins off me.
I have never been one for anger.

I have been diligent
in honing my patience;
I've become a certain sort of chaste.

My dear, you see,
you took a bite right out of me.
An apple that was so sweet:
Innocent skin and a refreshing flesh.

A shame really,
What's left is my bitter core.
But before you throw me out.
You should know there's a little more.

Within there are locked, opaque,
not so empty shells.
There's a secret in them.
And maybe, I could let you know.
How to open those potential doors.

Harvest and protect in a sanctuary.
Care and nourish.
Be patient and see the potential.
Maybe, in a few weeks you'll see what they've formed.
Better yet, a few years, with proper TLC;
you'll see,
that out of the darkness grew
something beyond saccharine.

But dear, why tell me your deceits?
I already broke my seals,
and it's a beauty to be real.
So vulnerable and I see the light.
Oh no, not one of life.
But something worth following towards Thanatos.

Death of what we both thought had been me.
I am already reborn
from a recipe of grandeur.
Something more complex
than just a fruit from a tree.
Something with deep
established roots,
an unrelenting body,
with a grasp upon the skies.
I will forever ventilate and grow.
The end point from here
is no longer very clear.

I just know one thing:
speak to me,
let me hear
your inner sea

whether turmoil or calm,
I will always thirst for your endless waters.
to know where your waves crash,
to know the moon that pulls your soul,
to know the pulses that ruminate from your depths.

Your voice is the orchestra
I wish to listen to
while I chase the sky.

A complicated virtue and misunderstood,
trust is overlooked by many - which is no good.
We emotionally invest into the hands of others deeper and deeper;
unknowing of whether they are capable of being a secret keeper.
Our worlds can come tumbling down with just one betrayal,
and once it's gone? It's lost forever - something that cannot prevail.

Within me the voices
Of virtues and vices
Battle valiantly
Daily for victory.