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Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
“I wanted to hold on to someone. But even my inner circle seemed far away. Some seemed to not care about what I had to say. My life seemed unstable just like the chemicals in my brain. I just wanted someone to care, to actually truly care about me. Maybe they did, but I couldn’t see it. Maybe they were there offering their support but I was too deaf to hear it. Too blinded and deafened by my own pain and loneliness. I feel I have nothing to hold on to. Nothing. No purpose. No motive. No one. And when there is nothing, you find there no purpose to breathe.”
I thought vulnerability was for the weak.
Even when I let you inside my thoughts
I've had both hands on your steering wheel.
I swerve hard left turns on the difficult memories,
dodging the on coming traffic of blatant truths.
My minds is a pile up on intestate 98
but I have you on the detour route
to Mr. Nice Guy lane on the road of "life is okay".
The next stop is "I am happy" street on the corner
of "you will be all right" avenue and "I don't care" lane.
But these fabricated roads are painted over signs
that trick you into believing that I am truly "fine".
But all the cars have crashed and burned
and now you know the truth.
Insomnia is literally killing me right now but hey makes some interesting poems
TheSilentScream Jun 2019
Questions come in stories
Building towers full of worries
For me to leap off of and into a sea
A sea of anxiety, never-ending, undying
And although I laugh as if my wilting flower is fine
It wilts until completely deprived
Dried and deceased, crumbled and stagnant, at least
Up and down goes my merry-go-round
Crooked crown, a king resting on hell hounds
Painted portraits, of hypnotic orchids
I've lost my mind
In a mania.

In a mania
I've lost my mind
My emotions have become so much more synthetic
Abolished to hell where the bad dogs go
Spinning round and round, disrupting my mental flow
Chaotic, messy, lively, wet, to say the most
It grows until completely fulfilled
Although I cry, because my growing weeds are poor
I feel somewhat okay, on this burning sediment
And as I clutch onto the rope above me
Burning the ground of any hope
Answers are lost in mazes
julianna May 2019
Wanting to scream
But nobody heard
I lived in darkness yet feared being alone

I couldn’t speak
Of the voices I heard
The ones that gave me the blade and told me to, “Get to work”

But honestly, most of it’s on me,
I never wanted them to look

I said things I didn’t really mean,
But depends on what you took

I was unable
To cope with the

Situation

I was unstable
Ice said he would do
Anything for Sun. But he
Grabbed her sunny ray,
And he melted his skin. Oh,
Ice—you were fooled by the Sun.
And vice versa as the Sun was fooled by the Ice, thinking he would always stay; the Sun thought she would never be hurt.

(Written after a test)
morrigan Mar 2019
it runs in the family---
emptiness of the heart
that swallows you up
like black ooze from the depths sticking to your limbs.

it runs in the family---
emotional fragility
resembling a crying child
who never learned how to not get her way.

it runs in the family---
emotional volatility
extreme highs and lows
like a rollercoaster ride from hell.

i can't run from my family---
it'll always be here
deep inside
a curse by blood.
Verbatim Lynnie Dec 2018
If I'm worth the fight,
then I can take a hit.
It isn't whether I win,
it's if I refuse to quit.
That's funny, because just wait,
for about 24 hours.
Where I'll gain the tremors,
but lose uncertain power.
An inner conflict is my battle,
but one I don't think ends.
Should I be authentically useless?
There's a home I could transcend.
I could ascend upon my limits,
I'm a king to every kind of thinking.
I control my darkness,
in the rapid form of blinking.
Open, close, open, close,
My fists could match the sides.
They're knocking on my skull,
of course I'm gonna abide.
I lost purpose when I dropped value,
when nothing stopped me from the pain.
if all I give to the world is anger,
why shouldn't I receive the same??
---------------------------------------------
I relapsed again, I hate myself.
Punched a wall so hard I instantly bruised my knuckles.
Pulled out a patch of my hair.
Made my leg blue from hitting it so hard.
I feel like I deserve this.
And is my thought differing from the truth?
I don't think so.
Keep living, y'all.
I'll do the same.
All feedback is welcome and appreciated.
Phantom Poet Dec 2018
I... Just need a friend,
I just want the loneliness to end,
I just want my life.....
To end.
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