You say you want me here but so you really?
It don't feel like you want me here,
Doesn't feel like home,
Feels more like prison,
Locked in a place where I don't wanna be,
Where's the key?
I need to find my way outta here.

I wrestle with these thoughts of doubt
And all the hate I can’t get out
While you sit there and watch me in my pain

Imagine that this hurt will pass
That death for me is swift and fast
Forever in your heart you’ll feel the rain

I want to stay for me and you
But I’ll do what I want to do
This world has extinguished my bright flame

I never even fell in love with you
I never got the chance to feel more than just flighty feelings for you
Sometimes I wonder what we would’ve been like
A pair of friends, of something more
Would you have taken a chance on me if I were more?
Was I wrong to think that you might’ve felt something too?
Why do people think we would mesh well if you can’t see it either?
I never got the chance to try with you
I wish I didn't have to block out three months of whatever we were
Just to feel normal again
Why does it have to be awkward when we get paired together?
What can I do to fix it all?
I never even fell in love with you
But it feels like I did
This unrequited, unasked for, flighty finicky feelings of something
So yes, sometimes I think about what we could’ve been
I mean, you did hug me
I have the vague and foggy reminder of what it felt like
Your warmth enveloped my chill
And it all felt normal and right
Just for that very moment
It felt like home
It felt solid but…
I never even fell in love with you
I was in awe of who you had become
Yet it seems like you never changed at all
Had I created this new version of who you are just to please myself?
To justify what I thought about you?
I never even fell in love with you

i dont know why i still think about you
i shouldn't even care about you
but i do
and i hate it
i hate that i still think about you
and who you are to me
i hate how your voice makes me smile
how you make every song sound better
i hate how you knew just how to make me feel better
how we were supposed to stay friends
i hate how even though i say i hate you
i dont
i still care
and i still think about you
how you basically live in my head rent free
how good you look in a white button down and black slacks
how those glasses make you look so handsome
i could list a million things but they there aren't enough words
to describe how wonderful you are and can be
id say you are picture perfect
but thats just scratching the surface
you have grown and flourished
like a dandelion or a sunflower
i sometimes wonder if wed talk more if i hadn't given you that letter
if you would text me songs or just random things
but here we are
not friends or more
just strangers with moments shared between them

I knew when I saw you it would be like time hadn't moved
After a few moments we got back into our usual groove
And the scent of you lingered for the seconds I hugged you
I felt happy to be there and maybe you knew

I playfully motioned for you to hold my hand so you did
You probably didn't notice the smile I hid
The tv flickered with a game in the background or music
All while we leaned closer and in an instant felt lucid

We embraced again before the night was done
You walked me out and said you had fun
One more hug this time with a tighter squeeze
In a way it felt infinite and like time could just freeze
I nestled my face in your neck and you did the same
I'm sure you felt my heart race and still you stayed tame
I slowly let go of our entangled goodbyes
Then did my best to avoid your eyes

How long had it been since I felt those butterflies within
With him, it was truly a romance to get lost in

The more you look around
The more you realize
Every day people are doing
Everyday things,
Things they don’t really want to do,
But must, to get ahead, to stay afloat,
To not get knocked down.
But the more you look around,
You see the hurt, you see the failure,
You see it imminent within you, too.
You resist and you pull away, and you
Tell yourself that you are different,
You will lead a different life and have success.
But the more you look around,
The bleaker it gets.
Sometimes life is better with the blinders on.

I just want to see her and tell her I'm sorry for everything I've done to her and i know it's wrong but I still love her and I still want to kiss her and love her. I know she doesnt care about me but I'm sorry. I'm still missing you but I know your happy now and I wont mess with that. I'm still missing you so much

Warmth flows from my lips
Air barely escapes
Pushing forward
never moving
Open, close
Open, close
Standing in an empty room
Filling space with nothing
and everything
Consuming in a vacuum
Giving nothing in return
Seeking purpose
Finding guilt
Depth is created
not given