I am a happy person
Or at least that's how I seem
I always have a smile
I live a perfect dream

I never am unhappy,
Or hurt or sad or blue
I'm just a happy person
Oh, if you only knew

If you knew how I sit
Forgotten and alone
And watch the world take all
The things I've ever known

I struggle with my faith
I struggle with the Lamb
I struggle with the very kind
Of person that I am

Regardless of all that
My facade remains true
That I'm a happy person
A person just like you

When the quiet girl stands up
She warbles the constant messages her mind signals
Her head is filled with demons, darkness, and sudden shivers
Built with waking up even though she feels much more significant when she lays asleep
Grilled with details about not killing herself because that is selfish
Not killing herself because it is simply but a mere problem and she should build a bridge and get over it
Not killing herself because there are so many wonderful, new opportunities that awaits her.
But when the quiet girl stands up
She is unfulfilled
Unfulfilled and unsatisfied
No, those two words do not mean the same thing, they are synonyms to one another.
She says,
“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to **** herself isn’t selfish.”
She says,
“When she’s  surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when she’s by herself.”
“Do you know why?” She asks.
“Do you know anything about depression, about having the depths of depression, the epiphany of blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness grabbing her soul into a deep, dark pit of despair feels like?”
“Do you know why people feel this way?”
She says,
“Ask her. Ask her how it feels like and you won’t get an answer but a stare. You’ll get a stare because there is no direct solution as to why she has depression. She just does.”
She says,
“Every single time she raises her voice and bellow down to the faceless fiend feeding on her fallible mind, she cannot capture the moment or the focus or the fking reason why there is an anonymous ghoul resting upon her brain.”
She says,
“The brutal brute that lays a nest in her mind spreads his eggs and continues to make a mass production. ‘There cannot be room for any positivity!’ he recited. She waits and waits and waits until she wants to die, until she wants to be gone and get rid of herself and make the world a better place.”
She says,
“The brute does not care who she is or the extraordinary things she has done. The brute does what he wants and until he is done, she will be gone.”
She says,
“She will be gone because she cannot thrive within herself. She is losing sleep, not eating, and most importantly, not talking. That’s why she’s so fking quiet. So the next time you ask her to talk, remind yourself that there are things that you do not understand and have to learn. Remind yourself that you cannot say ‘Just think positively’ or ‘It’s all in your head’ because that does not work. So the next time you speak to her, respect her.”

I'm not who I'm supposed to be
But I will be
Eventually