As an answer of pray
You imagining me
And the open hand is this city
Overgrown with chaos, silence,
You, and similar complexity.

I have to fall, somewhere
Because this thin cable will finished over.
Tired of bearing the burden on my body.
Tired of bearing conversations
Which often ends with confession
And uncertainty.

Lamentations that fill the air
Will not take me anywhere
The sky is gloomy, the city
Knowing sorrow much better than before.

I must fall, my love.
I won't fall anywhere but to you.

But I couldn't finding you.

I don't know why my mind does this stuff
I guess I can take it though gotta be tough
when will it stop
I mean really though when am I gonna just drop
I am the thesis of her sadness
jesus, just stop the madness
another night sitting alone
another fight my temper was blown
I guess I flipped and just tweaked
I guess It just slipped emotions peaked
calm still not keeping the cool
drawn thrill shes sleeping for school
I guess its a tempo thing
or maybe a "then go" thing
almost midnight still not sure exactly what this is
almost mid fight she said your exactly what caused this
I mean why let it cut in so deep
just leave why lose all that sleep
right?
wanting to drink
instead just sitting to think
maybe I can just blink and it'll be over
restart find some luck yeah lol a clover
a horse shoe maybe an oracle
naw just setting out looking for a miracle
its like the same thing here and there
a name thing not a hear it here heard it there
maybe shes right
maybe I should just catch a flight
out the door and onto the street
who knows the people I could meet
drunk and clueless its bound to be neat
then again why surrender to the hostility  
like why render to the thought of prosperity
probably wont sleep typical night
my thoughts up all night basically a fight
so I write and complain
maybe i'll kick something up to take in vein
just go for a walk
then we can talk maybe
I guess i'll do that that's what they say in therapy

The last few dying leaves of autumn
Desperately clutching their sterile lifeline
Like a hopeful body preserved cryogenically

Refusing to give in to the inevitable
Season of death.

Congealed memories of

                          Long summers:

                           Warm breezes

                               Lifeblood

Flowing freely in every vein
Assuming the promise of forever

And the more distant memories of spring:

                           New growth    
  
                          Bated breath

                      Each day savored    

(A whole year in the distorted
       Knowledge of the mature)

The youthful knowing that life is forever
Only to be lost one day
    In the distorted knowing of the mature.

The heavy frost of late Autumn  
Soon breaks the will
And the leaf is at the mercy of the winds–

                        Uncertainty

                           Isolation

                   Blowing aimlessly

Until the eventual fall to earth
Where it turns back into what it always was.

Yet one fine spring day

                         Somehow      

                         Someway

                         Recalling

The youthful knowing that
Life is forever.

Curious clusters     of uncurled tendrils
traverse the trellis,     touched to feel their way.

Uncertainty,
An unstable platform,
Reminding you that your feet are never grounded into the floor.
We approach the things we want with doubt festering in our minds,
We have seen so much,
Go oh, so wrong,
And yet, here we are.
If we're bound to make mistakes,
Dig up our own graves,
Why are we so afraid to approach it?
Why do we approach the end with shaky feet and sweaty palms?
We're headed that way,
Shouldn't we at least walk confidently in order to make the process less chaotic?
Shouldn't we try to make every experience we're dealt with, one where lessons are handed to us in envelopes,
Laced with hopes of the bad becoming good and the good becoming better?
Life, has never been about crossing the finish line,
Unharmed.
It's about making the most of what you're dealt with.
You stumble through the dirt to become something so strong and wise and you use that to feed and maybe someday,
Get rid of the doubt that once plagued your very being.
When you walk onto uncertainty,
Make sure you're aware that that platform,
Being unbalanced,
Will help you become more you than any steady ground.
You walk confidently on the shaky ground until you fall,
You then get right back up and try again.
Failure does not mean it's the end of the world,
But allowing doubt to destroy you from within,
Is.

Sitting under the cloudy night
She thought:
How did I get this far?
Thinking within her cloudy mind
She thought:
How further must I go?

The cars passed by
Buzzing beneath the street lights.
The bugs softly sung,
Singing their nightly lullaby.

All the while this young girl thinks
Under the starless sky,
Wishing the clouds to go by
So she could see and not dream
Of a farther light.

Don't look away with your chestnut eyes,
That send shivers along my spine,
Don't look away shyly, tongue-tied,
Worried too much what is on my mind.

Let your eyes wander, stealthily meet with mine,
So I could for a moment wonder what's behind,
That lonely and nostalgic, yet scared and distant look,
Would you mind so much if I spoke to you?

Wish I had known what thought was laying hidden
Beneath your curly hair's dark blond crown,
What sounds would utter your silent lips,
If we both had courage to speak our mind.

Your hands so delicate yet strongly hold to safety,
Like an eagle watching for a single sign to fly;
I wish I could hold them fondly in mine,
Let intimacy tame fear of the foreign.

Not so far physically, yet on the edge of running,
First conversation can't be that harming,
So I pledge to you, stay, as I wish to do,
Who know, maybe next time I will speak to you?