Unknown
unexplained
unanswered
more than that
its the waiting
that kills..
whether to wait or to leave?

I always thought I was the only one protecting my heart with these walls
But what I saw that thursday made me rethink everything I ever thought of you
For the very first time, you looked vulnurable
like you wanted to hold me
just one last time
knowing that it was the last chance for us to speak up
and simply being honest with each other
But guess what?
We didn't
You just let me walk away from you
knowing that I was moving so far away
I always thought you just used me
while I really felt something for you
It was hard in the beginning
pretending like I just wanted your body
But I was happy with everything you gave me
even if your heart was like a vault
I surrounded my heart with these thick walls
guarding it, protecting it
Because if I ever was to love like I still love you
My heart would be broken
not fixable with glue

I've been sitting here,
Dwelling upon a time where I no longer live,
Where your voice has been calling out to me from the darkness.
Caution, the past reads to me,
"Proceed with Caution".
You're a stranger to me but so terribly familiar,
The epitome of unknown territory.
With the allure of a once recognizable ground,
Seductive, blue-eyed trickster that with one sharp glance had swept me off my feet.
Set ablaze,
Forever appropriate burden of timeless enchantment.
Attachment,
Insatiable hunger to quell these building thoughts,
Longing for a time in which it's impossible to return.
What shall be our fate?
My lost friend, the time traveller.

Maybe I'm chasing a fairy tale.
A deep rooted facade, sending blind fools head first into heartache.
Maybe I'm chasing a dream.
Just out of my grasp, slipping blissfully through my fingers as I wake up from my slumber.
Maybe, just maybe what I lust after isn't so far fetched after all and I too have become jaded.
I've seen irrevocable and wild love, brought forth by gut busting laughter.
Smiles so wide you feel your face might split open seam to seam.
Your souls dancing around one another unable to sit silently for too long.
Moments pass and it already feels like you've been apart too long, even if you've spent days with them.
I know this exists; that warmth, the desire.
An urgency.
A fire coursing through my body begging to be released.
I know this irrevocable, passionate love exists.
But I don't know if it'll ever be waiting to be received by me.

I wondered,
was it really that easy to forget 'bout me?
Could you just explain or tell,
why it had to end this way?
It tragically pained me,
are you happy now?
I loved you whole-heartedly,
*how could you?