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ryan Dec 2017
Aching! Aching!
Bleeding arches and broken guts,
Heart
Too
Slow and eyes,
Skimming shiny surfaces,
Don’t look! Don’t look!
Comparing inflorescences,
To other flower chests-
Mine’s too big.
Not enough soil.
Too weak for my own pedicles,
the sun hurts,
the sun hurts,
the sun hurts,
everything hurts.
It’s perfect Mommy!
I want that One!
Pluck me from the ground and destroy my nerves and veins
Photosynthesis doesn’t work,
On hollow laminas and lonely stamens.
Emily Miller Dec 2017
The texture of the glass is rough with blemishes,
convex with swells of adipose tissue
and spotted with stray hairs.
The occasional splotchy flush
on the sallow complexion
is just enough to suggest life
but not in the right locations
to suggest beauty.
The glass sneers.
The glass snarls.
It takes handfuls of its dull, lanky hair
and yanks,
as if with one tug, the entire image could come to a screeching halt
like the break line on a train.
It's a hideous image,
but it doesn't frighten like a vision of a monster.
Instead,
it insights a painful tug in the chest cavity,
an ache,
a slow, throbbing pang
that lengthens with every glance.
Nothing feels quite as horrible
as the realization
that even if the glass breaks,
comes to the floor
and splinters,
shatters...
Its duplicate will still exist.
In me.
Jessy Dec 2017
the other day
I had my first kiss
the first time my lips came in contact with another human
it was magical

I was on cloud nine the entire time on my ride home
I was happy
I couldn’t stop smiling
genuinely smiling

when I got home I cried uncontrollably
but they weren’t tears of joy
they were tears of sadness and fear

I was sad because I thought he wouldn’t want a relationship
I was scared because I thought he wouldn’t want me
why would he want me and all my problems?

I have depression
I’m suicidal
I slit my wrists
no one wants to deal with my problems

I’m fat, ugly and rude
no one wants me
but I don’t blame them
I don’t even want myself
wrote this about three years ago
Jessy Dec 2017
when someone tells me im pretty
or that im beautiful
or that they wish they had my brain
or they wish they could be me
all i can think
is how they’re lying

because who wants to have my fat stomach
or my disgusting thighs
or my ugly face
or my self-destructive mind
or my suicidal thoughts
or my depression

they’re probably trying to be nice
when they say they want to look like me
but they probably mean it
when they say they want my brain, my mind
because they don’t know what goes on up there
how i hate myself
how i am disgusted with myself
how i wish i didn’t wake up
how i wish were dead

but then again
how could they know
when i don’t tell them
or when they don’t ask
Bésia Davis Dec 2017
I dont like roses, never did, the color isn't even that nice of a shade of red honestly, and why a thorn? How can my hand love that? That is just not for me, I'd rather hold a sunflower. But does that mean a rose is hideous? No. I just don't agree with the expectation others assume it should be praised at. But I still can see how someone could find beauty in that rose I'd never like to hold.
Jessy Dec 2017
You are fat
You are ugly
You are weak
You are pathetic
You are repulsive
You are revolting
You are rude
You are annoying
You are clingy
You are a *****
Why do you have friends?
Why do people like you?
You ruin everyone’s life
You are taking up space on this earth
You don’t deserve anything good to happen to you
Go ahead, one more cut
You deserve the pain
This is what you get

Your body makes people wish they were blind
Your voice makes people wish they were deaf

You disgust me
You make me want to **** myself

Do us all a favour an commit suicide
So we can finally be rid of you
Jessy Nov 2017
“Who is more ****** up than you?” No one.
“What the **** is wrong with you?” Everything.
“Where is your face underneath all that makeup?” I don’t know.
“Why are you still alive?” Great question.
“When will you die?” Soon.
oni Nov 2017
i place
a blank mask
over my face
and hand you
a pen

am i pretty now?
zoie marie Nov 2017
i don't know,
how to write you in a way,
that makes you as safe as my childhood home.
i can cover you in a blanket of verbs,
i can shroud you in adjectives until it hurts,
i can fill you with nouns until you feel chained to the ground.
it seems as if there isn't even one thing i'm incapable of doing,
and then you ask me to paint you pretty.
with what, darling?
i made your eyes out of all the monstrous things i've seen,
and your legs from the darkest places i've been.
i crafted your bones out of the metal that used to cling to my teeth,
and your blood from the multicolored ink that helped me write all my gut-wrenching things.
i gave you a heart from the graveyard down the street,
and your eyes from the streetlights where we used to meet.
i formed your feelings from the jar of fireflies atop my dresser,
and your lips from the secrets i held with my english professor.
aren't you pretty?
because you look beautiful to me.
*(even if i shaped you from all my worst qualities)
you fit me better than my favorite sweater
Emily Miller Oct 2017
White walls,
No windows,
Perfect square,
Rough carpet,
Same chairs in every room,
That trademark color,
Not green,
Not grey,
But some unfortunate color in between,
Like someone ate grey,
Then washed it down with green,
And someone else opened them up,
And that’s the partially digested color that they found.
Everything gilded in dull alluminum,
Like a poor man’s Klimt,
Cold table legs
And chalkboard trays
And door handles,
Door handles all day long,
I touch the door handles sixteen times a day here,
And I can feel the hands of every sweaty, unwashed  drone
That has touched it before me,
That unpolished texture grating against the tips of my fingernails,
The cold,
The vibrations of the grinding hinges,
And the herds of zombies on the other side,
Anyone touching the door,
Making that loud, resonating sound
That moves through to the ******, monotonous handles
And into me.
Linoleum,
All day, every day,
That God forsaken color,
Checkered with white tiles,
Something like white,
But not quite white,
Not nearly as white as the walls,
Speckled with another color,
Like something that would burst out of a caterpillar if you stepped on it,
In an infinite mosaic from hall to hall.
The mood is set on this liminal stage,
By a series of florescent spotlights.
The same light by which we watch the dreary, surreal dreams play in our heads,
It is this light that illuminates my waking nightmare,
The knocks on the nerves behind my eyeballs,
And I hide,
And pretend that no one’s home.
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