I am a Romeo or a lucky one,
I have both,
A wife and a girlfriend.
My wife is my T.V.,
Stable, always there,homely,
No extra cost,
Only pay for maintenance.
Enjoy it when home,
With popcorn,hot coffee or tubs of icecream.
Even has a remote for you to control it,
But no talking,
Keep quiet and listen.
My girlfriend is my mobile,
Lovely, slim and ****.
Turns people's heads when you go out with it,
It's portable,
Take her everywhere with you,
Talk and listen,
Play with it without getting tired.
No remote to control it,
Expensive to maintain,
Pay or get disconnected.
Can be hacked or stolen easily,
Have to be careful of viruses,
Easily replaceable.

Where is Ken?
He's such a doll!
He and Todd are dancing with Skipper
grinding to "Milkshake"

Another round
for the ladies
sitting by themselves
in the corner

Thanks for the drink, sucker!
you can go away now
We're here for the free *****
on Ladie's Night

All men want
is to get laid
another round
of Rumple Minze!

We have mates
they are on the dance floor
grinding on Skipper
She's such a *****!

All men want
is to get laid
another round
of Rumple Minze!

We love our men
like they love
their *****
"straight and to the point!"

Hey Ladies
I am genuinely nice guy
highly educated
a few pounds overweight

FU** off loser!
***!
How dare he talk to us
Yuk!

We have mates
they are in the parking lot
grinding on Skipper
She's such a *****!

All men want
is to get laid
another round
of Rumple Minze!

Where the hell did they go?
They left the club
with Skipper
She's such a *****!

Don't worry Midge
i'lll drvesed us hoooomee
b
u tttttttt

f ir

s
t


another round
of Rumple Minze!

We watch our mobiles and our tellies,
TV on the internet,
Internet on the TV,
On the mobile.

Our lives are spent
Immersed in soaps
And reality TV.
Hours and hours
Of subsidised sport
And fake news.

Daily quizzes
And Jeremy Kyle
To keep us occupied
And Boredom at bay.

Like zombies we stare at our mobiles
Almost colliding
With people on the street.
Oh yes we chat
And message and text
With folk we’ve never met
Presuming they are real.

We play out time,
Betting and scheming:
Fantasy Leagues
And Facebook,
Snapchat and God knows what.

Occupying our addictive minds
Until the Grim Reaper comes.
“Comfortably numb” until the end.

Paul Butters

8\9\2018.

Watching black and white flicks
From nineteen thirty four
With overacting stars and
Rinky-tinky scores;
Heroines with painted lips
To make them twice their size
And everyone with black liner
Smeared around their eyes.

Those were the big old movies
After school in the afternoon.
There were even snappy teasers
That told us ‘coming soon”
But television was free to us
And movie shows expensive
So, my backlog memories became
Inclusive and extensive.

I still can name most of the stars
And even say the name of the flick
And name some supporting actors
And I can do it super quick.
Because that was the entertainment
In a family with no movie budget.
If a movie came on I hadn't seen,
You can be sure I would watch it.

Later TV went to color shows
And it truly made my life great.
I’d see a favorite was coming on
Like Wizard of Oz, I couldn’t wait
To see it in color! Well, at least
Once Judy and the house landed.
It was enchantment for sure
No matter how heavy handed.

But for a decade or more, I watched
And was perfectly content to see
And not have a clue about their hair
Or color that their eyes  might be.
For happy in a black and white world
Pleased the young, unspoiled me.
After all, those fabulous stars
Were there for greedy young me!

If I am
ever left
to rely
on a
diet of medication
and
tv static commercials,
unplug me
and
donate me,
being a
crash test cadaver
is at least
useful.

A maniac has kidnapped me and he's holding a gun to my head.
He's forcing me to watch the new Doctor Who but I'd rather be dead.
I can't stand the new Doctor Who TV show, why is he doing this to me?
This is a fate worse than death, I want him to put me out of my misery.

I can't stand the political correctness of the new Doctor Who.
I'm begging him to pull the trigger, that would be the kinder thing to do.
I like the new Doctor Who as much as Jerry Seinfeld likes Newman.
Forcing me to watch these episodes is cruel, it's positively inhuman.

If I watch much more of the new Doctor Who, I swear I'll be driven insane.
I can't believe what this ****** is doing to me, how can he be so inhumane?
I loved the classic Doctor Who but forcing me to watch the new is sick behavior.
I want him to pull the trigger and end my life, he would be doing me a favor.

I distract myself
filling time slots and empty Windows
blaring nonsense instead of sitting in deafening silence

I beat at my own skull
pulling my eardrums out like string from my head
watch videos on tying nuces
anything,
to keep me busy
anything,
to keep me from doing the actual hanging

because right now
I'm sitting in silence,
and it's like a timer
it's like I'm just counting the seconds before I start crying
how long can I last?
1 minute,
2,
5
it's a waiting game
so instead
I distract myself
I watch TV
and YouTube
scroll through Instagram and Pinterest until I run out of pictures
I talk to myself
I beat myself until the thoughts go away
or... turn a blind eye,
until I'm so good at pretending that I can pretend they're not even there
until distraction is my second nature
because...
Don't you see?
Can you understand?
It's the only way I can stay alive